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forty-nine

I blinked as the world around me came into focus.

I was laying outside the cave entrance, under the blood-red glow of the setting sun.

Rafael… where… where was he? I frantically tried to stand, tripping over my feet and gracefully face planting.

My horn stabbed into the ground before I toppled onto my side.

“Hey, hey… Goldie, it’s okay. We’re okay.” Raf’s voice was calm and steady and an instant salve. His face came into my line of vision as I panted, sides heaving, struggling to breathe. My lungs burned. My head was pounding. My chest throbbed.

The only thing that didn’t hurt were my toes and I was pretty confident that I didn’t have toes in my current form. Raf’s dimpled smile was enough to slow my heart and clear my mind. I closed my eyes and concentrated until I felt magic coat me like a warm, tingling blanket.

I held my hands up towards the sky, squinting as I counted my fingers. Ten. My toes hurt too .

Rafael’s face lit up with relief as he pulled me into a hug and kissed me on the temple.

“I didn’t know what her venom was made of, if your body would be strong enough to fight it.

I could hear your heart beating faintly, but you haven’t budged in hours.

I moved us out of the cave, but I was afraid to take you any further. ”

I exhaled slowly, trying not to puke. “Sorry… for scaring you,” I said in a cracked voice, needing water. Before I’d finished the thought, a canteen of water was resting on my parched lips. I choked down a few mouthfuls before pushing it away .

I was disoriented and queasy, but I was alive . Raf was alive . “Is she dead?” I asked tentatively.

“Yes. Thanks to you, witch-slayer. And you saved my life… I’m sorry I let you down when you needed me most,” he said, offering me a hand. I took it, standing up with a groan.

“You didn’t let me down,” I replied with a tired smile. “You would’ve had her, if you had a horn… but a Prince I know—who’s occasionally right—told me they’re rare. And it was high time I returned the favor. Can we go home? I feel like a five-hundred-pound arachnid sat on me.”

“She was probably closer to one thousand pounds—and that’s exactly what happened. I found you crushed beneath her, your horn buried in her abdomen. Not a sight I ever want to see again.”

I laughed. “I’d be happy to never see another spider again.”

“I don’t know… I think you were born for this, Princess.”

I raised a brow. “Born for what?”

“Saving the world… and the occasional Prince.”

I snorted. “An occasional Prince who is a constant pain in the ass.”

He pinched my side and I screamed with laughter, before we made our way home.

Rafael’s room was a welcome sanctuary after what we’d faced today. I looked at his bed and wanted nothing more than to crawl into it… but we needed to go to Louis. They were waiting for Raf before making their move and infiltrating the prison.

“You should rest before we head out,” I said. He looked as tired as I felt, with purple circles under his eyes.

“ We? Please Marigold… stay here. I’ll fly back to you as soon as the fighting is over and the prisoners are free.

Louis can lead them to Monrovia without me.

I won’t be able to leave your side out there…

and they need my help. I can’t imagine the amount of people that are out searching for you on Galen’s orders. It’s not safe.”

I contemplated what he said. Wherever Raf was, that’s where I felt safest, but I didn’t want to be selfish.

I knew he was needed. I didn’t want to be a distraction.

The truth was, I did want to sleep… forever.

My de pression was pulling me down. Even standing felt like an energy drain that I couldn’t muster. But what if they needed my help?

“You think I’m safest in Monrovia… so close to Galen?” I sat on the bed, trying to think beyond the fog of exhaustion.

“This room is the most warded and protected place in Monrovia. The women downstairs can bring you meals throughout the day. You can rest and build your strength for what’s ahead.

Of course I want you to come; I hate the idea of leaving you behind, but I’ll be able to travel faster and fight more effectively, if you stay here.

I don’t know what threats will be waiting at the prison, but I know I don’t want you near any of them. However, it’s your decision.”

I let my weariness decide. “I’ll stay. You’ll come back as soon as you can? If there are people who need my blood to heal, I want to be there to help.”

“I’ll race back as soon as possible. I won’t abandon you. I promise.”

As soon as Raf left, I fell into a deep pit of loneliness—like I was grieving the loss of my parents again. I regretted my decision to stay almost immediately. Being in Rafael's room, with only my thoughts, was not what I needed right now.

I saw Galen in the crackling fire, Raf in the shadows, my mother in the bathroom mirror’s reflection.

I couldn’t summon any strength… any hope.

The mixture of fatigue and depression did allow me to sleep for almost two days straight, at least. The Oracle’s venom had been strong.

I was sure it would’ve killed me in my human form.

By the third day, my blood was alive with magic and I finally felt recovered. Rafael should’ve been back by now. I dared a look out the window and was disheartened to see heavy rain flooding the cobblestone streets below. The creek that ran through the city was overflowing.

He wouldn’t be able to fly in this weather.

It was difficult to know if the storm would help or hinder their rescue mission.

If they had hundreds of humans with them, the rain and mud would significantly slow them down, but maybe the rain would also keep them hidden; surely it would be difficult to track anything in this .

Realizing I might be alone for several more days, I became increasingly restless and agitated…

There were plenty of books to read, but I couldn’t focus.

My mind was only capable of descending deeper into darkness.

Rafael had been holding me together more than I wanted to admit.

Without him, I felt like a shipwreck slowly sinking into a deep abyss.

I began to obsess over worst-case scenarios.

What if Rafael and Louis had been captured?

What if they were dead? How long should I stay here before I went to find them?

By the fourth day, I was itching to leave the room and search for them. Raf’s scent was probably lost to the storm, especially since he’d flown, but something told me I’d still be able to find him.

My spiraling was disrupted when a flicker of magic pulsed down my spine. Frost formed on my fingers as I sensed danger. Someone was approaching. My ears pricked when I heard footsteps down the hallway, and then my eyes darted to the rattling doorknob.

Rafael ? I braced myself as the bedroom door swung open and a silhouette appeared before me. My heart leapt, before it crashed to the ground.