twenty-eight

T he sun was an obnoxiously bright orb, blinding me as I oriented myself.

Where was I?

I tried to sit up, then promptly toppled back down. My legs were useless—all of my limbs were. There was a ringing in my ears as I heard my name over and over again. I closed my eyes.

“Marigold… Marigold… Come back to me. It’s Raf—keep breathing. Stay awake.” I was in his arms. He looked so worried, but all I felt was… confusion. Why was he being so loud ?

I was so tired. If I could just sleep for awhile… then maybe…

“Marigold!” he was shouting again.

“What?” I grumbled . Let me rest . He lifted us off the ground and we began moving. I sank into him, not caring where we were going.

I heard my mother’s voice. “ Goldie, wake up. Fight the sleep. You burned out. You need to stay awake.”

It felt so real that I attempted to raise my head. “Mama?” I called out weakly. Another hallucination. A deep cold was creeping over me, gnawing at my bones, setting my flesh on fire. I clenched my jaw, trying to keep my teeth from chattering as I thrashed back and forth.

“It’s just me… it’s Rafael. I need to warm you up— quickly . Stay with me.”

“If you continue to shout, I’m following the light,” I groaned, before my eyes rolled to the back of my head.

A cool mist kissed my skin, making me wonder if Aku had arrived to take me away. Death’s strong grip burned hot against my frigid skin as he held me firmly and led me to eternal darkness.

My vision was fuzzy, but I was able to pick up shadow and light.

I was curled up in someone’s lap… covered in a heavy layer of blankets.

There was a fire crackling nearby. Galen .

My lids fluttered. I licked my dry lips, trying to form his name, but instead found myself being pulled back into an endless sea.

I thrashed, desperate to resurface, before sinking into darkness.

Cold air hit my face as I trudged through a damp, soggy forest. The smell of wet leaves, evergreens, and morning fog greeted me like an old friend.

This place was eerily familiar. In fact… I took in my surroundings with a grin. I knew exactly where I was. These were the woods that surrounded my first home. I greedily gulped down the fresh air, looking up towards ominous rain clouds.

Dew clung to my lashes, my hair. I pulled a hood over my head, trying to fight the chill seeping into my bones. A branch snapped and I turned, following the sound. Wylks? My heart jumped to my throat.

A giggle echoed behind me. My mother’s laugh. A flash of golden curls disappeared behind a wide tree trunk. I didn’t waste a second before I was sprinting after her. Dirt went flying as my boots kicked up mud. “Mama!” I called.

Only silence answered. “Mama?” I said again, uncertainly. Nothing. My gut wrenched as I realized I’d lost her. She’d been right there and I’d lost her.

I turned back towards the path, halting when she suddenly materialized in front of me. The color was drained from her face—her were eyes wide and filled with terror. “Run,” she said, grabbing my wrist roughly. She was frantic.

“What?”

“RUN!” she cried.

My eyes shot open as my heart slammed against my rib cage.

It had only been a dream. Things were sharp once more.

I was staring at an unfamiliar maroon paisley wallpaper.

Layers of gauzy, black fabric covered shuttered windows.

There was a sweet smell in the air; perfume and…

opium? I’d only had laudanum once—years ago when I was sick with scarlet fever.

The thick, saccharine scent was difficult to forget.

“Goldie, can you hear me?” Raf. Not Galen . His voice was thick with emotion.

“Y-yes. Where are we?” I tried to sit up, to get out of his arms, but he didn’t give an inch.

“We were training. You built a whole damn castle out of ice. I tried telling you to stop, but you were… unyielding . I eventually took your hands and forced you to stop. And then you collapsed.”

He hadn’t answered my question. A dark brown tendril fell over his forehead as he stared at me. I gazed back. The Prince of Shadows, too beautiful to be real. Straight, prominent brows, deep-set eyes, a jaw chiseled from sandalwood… and those lips .

Full lips. It was disgusting, how delectable they looked.

Grotesquely kissable. I wanted to brush my thumb along the center crease of his bottom lip—a spot he frequently bit when he was trying to smother a smile.

But as I tried to lift my hand, I whimpered in pain and was ripped away from my fever dream.

I was out of my mind— completely befuddled . I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath. I didn’t want Raf. I was with his brother . Feeling humiliated, I croaked, “I’m fine. I’m just feeling a little weak and... discombobulated.”

"Discombobulated?" he huffed, shaking his head. "I'll take that over dead . You terrified me. Was that your way of trying to get even with me?"

"No, of course not. I just—" I glanced down at the wool blanket I was wrapped in, noticing the scratchy texture against my bare skin. Wait a minute, was I… was I naked under these blankets?

“Did you undress me?” I asked slowly, dumbly. Raf shifted and I felt his hard abdominal muscles press against me. It sent a wave of warmth down my spine as I realized… Was he naked too?

I gasped, trying to scramble away from him to no avail. It was like trying to run straight after being spun in circles. My mind was dull, while my body felt woozy… clumsy. I flopped in his lap, creating friction, making things so much worse, as the crest of my cheeks burned.

I stared at the dusting of dark, curly hair on his chest, beyond mortified, as I fought a terrible impulse to run my fingers through it.

What was wrong with me? What would Galen think if he saw us like this? My heart drummed wildly as I waited for an explanation, shooting an accusatory glare at Raf.

“You were hypothermic. Skin to skin is the fastest way to warm someone. Don’t worry, I didn’t see anything—I was too busy trying to save your life,” he said irritably. He didn’t even look apologetic.

I envisioned him tearing away my frost-coated clothing and felt hot blood surge down my limbs. What was the opposite of hypothermic? Because I was pretty sure I was now in the process of overheating.

“I almost burnt out?” I asked, gripping his biceps determinedly as I steadied myself, trying to push out of his arms. He didn’t bother assisting as I rocked awkwardly, attempting to propel myself as far away from him as possible.

“You did burn out. You’re lucky to be alive. I didn’t know I was dealing with someone as stubborn and stupid as me. Luckily, you’re a healer and your body fought back. Not everyone would’ve survived the stunt you pulled.”

I almost bit out a snide remark, but instead I sank back into him, defeated and exhausted. “I got swept up in the magic. It channeled my feelings into something tangible. I have so much more anger inside of me than I realized… It was such a rush. I-I couldn’t stop.”

He sighed. “It has happened to all of us. Magic can possess us if we aren’t careful.

I’m sorry it happened during our first lesson together, but it was an important lesson to learn.

You can’t let your emotions fuel your magic.

It’s why Louis has you meditating and strength training.

You must be stronger, in body and mind. Each element heightens different emotions—feeds off them .

“My shadows try to convince me that I need no one. They'd pull me into the darkness forever if I let them. And if earth magic had its way, it would root its way into my body and absorb the life right from me. It’s the cost of magic. You can’t ever become complacent.”

“I’m sorry for losing control—for scaring you.”

He brought his hand towards my hair as if to stroke it, hesitated, then placed it back down. “I hope you’ll consider still training with me. I promise to take better care of you next time.”

I responded by launching out of his arms and tumbling onto the carpeted floor.

I felt more liquid than solid, but managed to pull myself into a sitting position next to him.

We sat side by side, facing the fireplace on a thick, patterned rug.

I stared at it as I pulled the blankets tightly around myself, avoiding eye contact.

Raf stood up, tossing a blanket around his bare shoulders as he clinked around his small kitchen.

After some time, he handed me a steaming cup of tea, sweetened with a generous dollop of honey.

Averting my eyes, I stared at my drink as if my life depended on it.

I blew on it, letting the scalding liquid slide down my cracked throat, trying desperately to think of anything besides the imposing half-naked male sitting beside me.

After a few sips, I responded, “I want to keep training with you.” I paused, finding the next words difficult.

“But you should know, Galen and I are spending time together… and he treats me well. So you don’t need to protect me from him.

We all need to work together if we’re to take down the Elders. ”

“Understood,” he said gruffly. “I’ll try to stay out of the way. Maybe find a place more private than the library next time.” His thorny tone pricked me, drawing blood, like the black rose he’d given me not long ago.

“He can’t know about this.” I waved my hands to emphasize the unfamiliar room we were in—the lack of clothing.

“If he treats you so well, then why do you feel the need to hide this from him?”

I narrowed my eyes. “Because you attacked him days ago and everyone has their limits.” We stared each other down in an apparent battle of wills. “Where are we, Rafael ?”

He cringed before saying, “We’re at the Siren Inn… A brothel.”

I stood up in horror, trying to steady myself. “How dare you bring me here! ”

If Ophelia found out about this— the scandal it would cause . I took a deep breath… I was in Nymera. Things were different here.