twenty

I breathed in tight, nervous gasps as he moved even closer… close enough for his scent to pull me in. The smell of leather and soap, of cedar and rain—it all combined to make my head spin. I sighed as the warmth of his body enveloped me. I felt so small in his arms… so safe.

He dipped his head, closing the last bit of distance between us. It was enough to make me startle and dart away.

He shook his head, like he was coming out of a fog and said, “I’m sorry. I lost my mind for a moment. The stars, the midnight adventure…” He ran his fingers through his wavy mane and sighed. “It won’t happen again. It has been too long since I’ve been with a woman. Clearly .”

Part of me had wanted to kiss him and find out what those flawless lips would feel like—what that smart-ass mouth would taste like.

But Galen was his brother . I refused to be part of a love triangle—or whatever it was between Galen and I.

And it wouldn’t be wise to add an avalanche to their already rocky relationship.

But he could’ve left out the part where he’d told me that he was feeling particularly desperate.

“Raf, this might’ve been the best night of my life. You, the stars, the magic in the air. Don’t be sorry. But I care for Galen… I’m not with him, but all the same. I can’t—I won’t go down that road with you.”

“I understand. Like I said, it won’t happen again.” Rafael turned back into his horse form without another word.

He dropped me off where he’d picked me up, the vine still hanging from my softly lit window. I stared up with dread, but a new wave of confidence washed over me. I was a world walker—I had a purpose. I gripped the rope, readying myself to say goodbye.

Wordlessly, he shifted back into himself and placed two fingers over my lips, as if to silence me.

He gathered me in for a hug and then… I was nothing but mist, flying towards my window at an alarming speed.

I would’ve screamed, but it happened too fast. Seconds . And then we were standing in my room.

“You could’ve warned me!” I sent a string of curse words at him as I looked at my hands to make sure I was whole again.

“And miss seeing the surprise on your face?”

I was relieved that we were back to our normal banter, even if he took cruel delight in teasing me. “We didn’t do this on the way down because…?”

“I knew it wouldn’t have been a Night to Remember if you didn’t get to climb out your window.” His smooth laugh reverberated through me as he looked deep into my eyes.

His expression grew serious. I was still gripping him. Silence stretched on.

I began to pull away, but he held me firmly, not letting me go. “So little Renegade, tell me the truth. How'd I do? Was it the ride of your life?” Before I could answer, he’d disappeared… and so had my book. But his laugh echoed on.

I couldn’t sleep. Too much adrenaline coursed through my veins. The image of a black stallion soaring through a sea of stars kept flashing into my mind every time I began to drift off. As the first soft wisps of morning entered my room, I heard a knock.

“Come in,” I yawned, before sitting up in panic and turning to the window. The rope .

It was gone. Relief flooded through me. Raf must’ve somehow removed it while I’d been tossing and turning in bed. I chose not to think about the details of how he’d accomplished such a feat without me noticing.

Galen burst through the door. He looked livid. His wild eyes scanned the room. “Where were you last night?” he demanded. Flame flickered from his fingers and my heart slammed against my chest in response .

“What do you mean?” I asked breathlessly.

“ What do I mean ? You’re going to lie to me? Do I mean so little to you?” He paced back and forth in agitation.

“If I’m lying to you, you should know it’s for a good reason.”

Who was he to demand answers from me? He didn’t own me.

“I came to see you last night—shortly after midnight. I was worried when you weren’t here.

I was afraid my mother had taken you. But then I saw a rope at your window…

a black rope. There’s only one person I know that could’ve produced that; someone who wields both shadow and earth magic.

” He stopped walking in circles and approached me.

His flames had been put away, but the scowl on his face remained.

“Are you sleeping with Rafael?” he asked bluntly. He was leaning over me, our noses nearly touching. I could feel heat radiating off of him. He… he was jealous .

“No!” I said defensively. His hands gripped my thighs possessively.

“I’m not,” I insisted. “But it wouldn’t be your business if I was. Are you sleeping with Isla?” My glacial tone matched the frost coating my fingers.

How dare he with his double-standards.

I’d thrown him off with my question. He stammered, “I-I’ve slept in her bed. Nothing more. I want you, Marigold. If I bedded her, the entire time I’d be picturing you , damn it!” He stood and went back to pacing.

“Are you going to tell me what you were doing with Rafael in the middle of the night? Climbing out of windows, nonetheless? Was he helping you escape? If so, why are you here? Were you just going to leave without saying goodbye?” He looked out of his mind; waving his hands in the air, then shoving them in the pockets of his tan breeches.

I’d never seen a man so… emotional over me. It melted another layer of ice around my heart. He cared. And as if to confirm his feelings, a splash of color hovered around him; an angry red, with a vibrant blue center. More blue than I’d ever seen. He’d evolved into something new since I met him.

“I’ll tell you. If you promise not to tell the Queen. If you tell her, it could ruin everything. Do you understand, Galen? Can you put me before your Crown for this secret? Or would you rather not know?”

He considered for a moment. “I won’t tell her. ”

I hesitated before deciding to trust him.

“Rafael helped me go to the ruins in the forest… not to escape, but to see if I could find any answers about my magic… to see if I could open a doorway.” I looked down at my hands…

hands that had held Raf’s so comfortably—hands that wanted to ease Galen’s temper by grabbing him by the face and kissing him. Hot shame burned in my belly.

“And… what did you discover?”

“The magic exists in me, but I can’t access it yet.

I need help. I need answers from someone or something.

I’ve looked in the library—there’s nothing.

I don’t want to be in a position where your mother asks me to wield my powers and I’m not ready.

She may kill me on the spot.” That wasn’t exactly my motivation, but I couldn’t trust him with the complete truth.

“I’ll help you. I’ve wanted to help. But I didn’t want to push you.” He came back over and sat beside me. He took my hand and played with my fingers, avoiding my gaze. “I’m not my mother,” he whispered.

“I know you aren’t, but every time I tell you something that she can’t know, I put you in a precarious situation. I don’t want to make things harder on you than they already are.” We locked eyes and I could see that he’d forgiven me. And I’d forgiven him.

I wanted him to kiss me, but instead he dropped my hand. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I just wish you could trust me.” Galen stood and exited the room without another word. The crackling fire snuffed out with his departure and I felt instantly cold. Down to the bone.