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fourteen

M y days began to fall into a familiar pattern of training, reading, and dinner with the Ruhn family. Galen had been giving me the cold shoulder ever since the night we’d spent together. It left me confused and pathetically pining for him. When had I become someone who pined for a man?

Every evening, Isla sat next to him, laughing at everything he said, while I gritted my teeth until it was time to be excused. He usually looked a bit hollow and distant, barely looking my way.

Rafael rarely joined us for dinner, but when he did, his behavior towards me was aloof at best. He didn’t seem like a revolutionary.

Yes, he had motive, but according to Louis, Raf basically lived at the local brothel.

That didn’t sound like someone who had the motivation to rise up against his Kingdom.

Still, I waited for him to pull me aside.

When Galen assigned Robert to be my personal guard, I began to have more freedom around the castle; though, he was such painfully dull company, I sometimes wondered if Galen was trying to punish me.

The guard still refused to answer any of my questions with more than a few mumbled words, but at least I was able to walk the gardens and use the library.

Despite being a grubby human, I’d been granted access to all of the public libraries in the castle, but it was the Grand Library that I always found myself in.

The first time I’d entered through its gilded double doors, I’d been wonderstruck. Adorned in pastel tones, it glittered like a sunrise. It looked more like a temple than a library, which made perfect sense to me—there was nothing more sacred than a room full of books .

Massive arched windows illuminated the space in bright natural light, making the white marble floors shimmer. Lavender pillars, made of Kunzite, lined the wide aisle that stretched down the center of the room. The purple stone was translucent, refracting light like crystal when the sun touched it.

Diamond chandeliers, cloaked in baby pink cherry blossoms, floated above polished tables that sat near the entrance.

The flowers created a sweet nutty scent that hung in the air and settled into the pages of the books—thousands upon thousands of books—sitting on Mahogany bookshelves in neat rows.

The shelves extended to the back of the room, towards two sets of gilded spiral staircases that led to a second-story balcony, overlooking the rest of the space.

Murals, featuring all six gods and their stewards, covered the vaulted ceilings. They stared down at me, idling away on their thrones of painted clouds. I rolled my eyes at the beautiful, omniscient beings who probably looked at us as if we were ants.

Today I sat at one of the library’s tables, fidgeting. A pile of books on elemental magic sat beside me, while Robert stood nearby, arms crossed. I was propped on my elbows, flipping through a book on medicinal magic, when the beam of light spilling across my page, suddenly disappeared.

I turned towards the window for an explanation, expecting to see rain clouds.

Instead, I saw a dark haze floating above me.

My heart stopped as I watched a form materialize.

Rafael . He… he’d just appeared beside me, out of thin air.

I swallowed hard as I took in his black leather armor and his stone-faced expression.

Was I hallucinating or had he just arrived in the form of a black cloud?

I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of appearing awe-struck, so I lifted my chin and squared my shoulders as I acknowledged him. “What do you want?”

He arched a brow, giving away nothing. “I’m heading to the village. Want to come?”

My mouth bobbed open before snapping shut. I was finally going to get some answers, if he didn’t eat me first—he was staring at me as if he might.

I studied his broody pout before deciding I’d take my chances.

If I died, at least it wouldn’t be from boredom.

Glancing over at Robert, I emphatically said, “Yes, please.” Raf gestured for me to follow him, but I sat unmoving.

“I’d like to visit an acquaintance at the apothecary while we’re there. ”

I scowled at him, just waiting for him to say something that was going to set me off. If he refused me, I swear I’d—

“Sure, that’s fine.” Raf shrugged, crossing his arms and rocking back on his heels. I snapped my mouth shut again. He was being suspiciously nice. The silence of the library pressed into us as we glared at each other.

He turned to my bodyguard. “Robert, your services aren’t needed. Go find someone else to follow around. I’ll take good care of her.” Robert grumbled under his breath before stomping off.

The same white mare was saddled up for me when we arrived at the stables. “Hello, beautiful girl,” I cooed to Hibiscus.

“You seem to be a natural with animals,” Rafael observed. “That one doesn’t like me very much.” He gave a wide berth around her as he got on his elegant, black steed.

“It would seem that she has an excellent sense of character, then.” I praised her with a rub down her neck as she nickered at me.

“Why do you hate me?”

I turned to him, startled. I thought it was a mutual feeling. I couldn’t exactly say, “Your aura is as black as a starless night. ” Even now, I could see shadows wafting off him. It was off-putting.

“You weren’t very friendly when I arrived,” I said dryly. “In fact, you seemed to relish in my discomfort. But you did take that goblet of blood from me—that was a kind gesture. For that reason alone, I wouldn’t say I hate you.” I mounted my horse before easing her into a trot.

“I’m a bastard,” he muttered under his breath, riding beside me. “I haven’t received much kindness in my life and… I suppose it’s made me guarded… around people I don’t know.”

I tried to hide my shock at his candidness. I hadn’t thought him capable of conversation beyond cynicism. “Louis told me about your childhood—that you and I are… similar . Perhaps we should call a truce.”

“Consider my white flag waved,” he said with a hint of a smile .

“I just need to know one thing…” I said, hesitating. This was probably a bad idea. But I couldn’t trust him until I knew.

He pursed his lips, squinting at me through his lashes. “Shoot.”

I took a deep breath. “Have you ever used your magic on me?”

His brows shot up. “Magic? Can you be more specific?”

“You know… like dark magic. To make me feel strange … around you.” I was whispering for some reason.

I didn’t know how to explain the effect he’d had on me during that first dinner, but it had rattled me.

Beyond his cologne’s ability to give me vertigo, I felt an unsettling pull towards him, as if he was a carnivorous plant and I was a fly.

“Strange?” he asked with a half-grin. It looked as if he was trying to stifle a laugh.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Never mind.” If he was going to mock me, then it had been a mistake to ask.

“Wait—no. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’ve never used magic on you, I promise. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m an ass, but I would never manipulate you with magic—or without magic, for that matter.”

He met my gaze with a straight face. No sardonic grin.

No snarky attitude. I believed him. I must've been displacing my feelings for Galen onto him that night. But that cologne of his… How could I ask him what kind of scent he wore without sounding like a lecher? I wanted to douse myself in it. It smelled like home . It made me feel nostalgic for a place I’d never been.

That made no sense, but neither did anything else in this world.

“White flag waved.” I grinned, before urging my horse into a gallop and racing ahead.

We ran for miles. It was refreshing to share company with another, without the need for words. As our horses began to tire, we slowed back down to a walk, almost to the city.

“You ride well. In a dress, nonetheless. You must ride often back home?”

My heart ached for my horse, though I knew she was being well taken care of by Deric. I ached for his sweet smile too.

“As often as I can,” I replied.

An odd feeling tugged at me—a gut impulse telling me to confide in him. And since we’d called a truce, I was going to choose to believe it was intuition… and not his magic. “Since I know one of your secrets, it seems only fair that you know one of mine. Can I trust you? ”

He gave a wry grin. “Secrets are my specialty. I’m a shadow wielder, after all.” Dark ribbons of smoke began to waft around him and his horse. I watched them swirl in a hypnotizing pattern.

S hadow wielder… I was an idiot . It wasn’t his soul that was black, but his magic . I’d been seeing shadows, not an aura. Did he not have one? I didn’t even know what the glow around faeries meant—what it even was. I’d been too afraid to ask and sound insane.

Any remaining tightness in my chest relaxed as I took a deep breath. “I’m niece to Queen Ophelia of Aurelius. I grew up like you, in a castle full of strangers. My father abandoned me when my mother died, so my aunt raised me. You aren’t the only one who has a difficult time opening up to people.”

Our gazes met and I felt like I was free falling. It was rare to be this vulnerable. His honey-brown eyes had softened. He was looking at me as if… as if he cared . But that couldn’t be true.

“I won’t tell anyone,” Raf promised. “I’d suggest you do the same. Sylvia would be threatened by what you just told me—and likely use it against you. She believes that she is the rightful Queen of Aurelius.”

I nodded. I wished I could tell Galen who I was, but it was too risky. If Sylvia found out… I didn’t want to think about what she’d do to Ophelia if given the chance.

“So… you don’t need blood, but you drink it. Why?” I asked.