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nineteen

I had a difficult time settling down after Rafael left, feeling anxious about the night ahead. I watched the clock and paced until both the hour and minute-hand pointed up.

Peering out the window, I saw nothing but endless darkness below.

I pulled out the rope from under my bed and secured it to the window frame.

Finally, it was time to put on my cloak, lace up my boots, and begin my descent.

I had just enough space to squeeze through the iron bars that were meant to keep me contained.

It was exhilarating until I reached the half-way point. How was I supposed to get back into my room? I wasn’t sure I had the strength to climb back up, but that was a problem for later. As I touched grass, I found a black horse waiting for me… but no Prince.

It was too dark to tell if it was Raf’s horse, Zagreus. Had something happened to him? Before I could panic, the horse bowed before me, beckoning me to get on its back.

I was going to kill Raf.

Could anything be straight forward with him? I didn’t waste another breath contemplating, as I hoisted myself onto the simple black saddle. There were no reins or halter, but I held on where I could and hoped it knew where it was going.

The horse shook its head and I tensed. That head toss was eerily familiar.

No .

No… It couldn’t be .

Was this Rafael? Was I seriously straddling Galen’s brother right now? He had promised me he’d be here. Feeling like an idiot, I let out an exasperated sigh and hissed, “Raf? Is that you… in your shifting form?”

The horse’s ears tilted back and he nodded his head in an exaggerated display. I laughed, deciding this was officially the weirdest night of my life. I wasn’t even going to ask how he’d gotten the saddle on—though he certainly deserved to be heckled after teasing me about my book.

We were nearly invisible as we made our way through the castle gardens and past the first perimeter. I let out a long breath when we reached open grasslands. It felt inappropriate to kick his ribs, so instead I leaned over his neck and whispered, “How fast can you run?”

He took off quicker than a bat on a midnight wind as he headed for the tree line.

I could barely see anything and was forced to trust that he’d get us there safely.

Once we were in the forest, I leaned down low to avoid branches, laying almost flat against his withers as his mane whipped me in my face.

I was flying— we were flying. It was the closest I’d ever felt to my magic. It was dancing along my skin, coursing through my pounding heart, tingling in my fingers that were wrapped tightly around his course black hair.

The only indication that we’d entered deep forest was the loss of a starry sky that had provided little light, but much comfort. The moon was a sliver amongst the black night, which made it the perfect evening to sneak out.

A journey that had taken hours on my first day here felt like minutes with Raf’s agile, swift movements. He weaved through the trees effortlessly, which I couldn’t see, but could feel as his muscles gathered in unison, pivoting back and forth.

Soon he began to slow down and as he did, I felt the pull of the garden. It had always called to me, so I wasn’t surprised to be guided towards the night-kissed ancient walls tonight.

“Stop here,” I whispered, hopping down and scratching his cheek, like I would’ve my own horse. He leaned into the touch and I nuzzled my cheek against his.

There was a barrier between us that had been removed with him in his equine form. I didn’t question it as we approached the ivy-covered stone .

Something grabbed me and I almost screamed. Raf covered my mouth with a rough hand. “It’s just me. And no, before you ask—I’m not naked. I was wearing clothes when I shifted and I’m wearing them now.”

“But what about the saddle?” I goaded, giggling. He pinched my arm and I smacked him away.

I found the gate and pushed open the door. It took my eyes a moment to adjust to the starlit garden. The tree branches that canopied the forest stopped at the stone walls, seeming to hit an invisible barrier.

I peered up to see a mosaic of stars. They were so numerous that Rafael’s face was cast in silver light. We both looked at each other in complete wonderment, humbled by our insignificance and struck by the serenity of the scene above us.

The jasmine that grew along the walls filled the air with a sweet scent.

Night noises created music; crickets, a breeze through the leaves, Raf’s steady breathing…

I was absolutely certain this is what my afterlife would look like.

I couldn’t have dreamed up a more peaceful scene.

No words were needed as I took Rafael’s hand and led him to the wall I’d fallen asleep against over a month ago.

There was a part of me that wanted to howl at the moon, that wanted to say to Raf, “Run away with me. Let’s leave it all behind and never look back.”

When his eyes met mine, I knew he was thinking the same thing. He rubbed my hand in encouragement as we stared at the wall. I took a deep breath, took a step forward, and touched it.

Nothing. No electric charge. No magical current.

I looked over at him, doubting myself, and he encouraged me to try again. “Command your magic. Ground yourself, like you’re meditating. See if you can identify the part of you that answers to this place.”

I sat on a patch of grass, leaning against the wall. Raf sat next to me, still holding my hand. I closed my eyes and spiraled deep into myself. I began at my feet and worked my way up as I searched for answers.

Where are you? Help me. Please. Tell me what to do—how to reach you.

I scanned past my stomach and then stopped at my chest, feeling a slight tug.

I’m here. I’m real. I’m part of you—but you’re not ready. You need to get stronger. You need to find answers. Don’t forsake me. You’re on the right path .

I was so startled to feel my magic speak to me, that my focus lapsed and the connection disintegrated into glittering dust. “M-my magic—I know it sounds mad, but it spoke to me. It told me that I need to find answers—that I am a world walker… but that I’m not ready.”

Heat flooded my chest as I let it sink in. For the first time since arriving, I didn’t feel like a fraud. I wasn’t just a lost, lonely girl who’d stumbled into this world, but a world walker who was destined to come here. None of this was a coincidence. This was my purpose.

“There is a reason we call this forest the Whispering Woods. It’s full of surprises. I’m glad we came tonight. I think you needed to know that this is real. That you are extraordinary… ”

Raf stared at me with moonstruck reverence, the stars reflecting in his irises.

I gazed back, lost in the galaxies that were his eyes.

He inched closer as he brushed my wind-blown hair away from my face.

A calloused thumb slowly trailed down my temple, over my cheek, to my lips.

I stood frozen as he traced over them with infinite patience.