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forty-one

R af and I had planned to leave for the Oracle after first light. Galen left my room at sunrise and Rafael appeared shortly after in a curtain of shadows. I tried to hide the heavy emotions I was feeling from the night before, but he saw right through my glassy-eyed smile.

“What’s wrong?” He rushed over to my bedside. Lusha hadn’t arrived yet and I hadn’t had the energy or will to dress myself. All it took was two words from him before the tears I’d been holding back started to cascade down my cheeks in a torrential waterfall.

He tucked my hair behind my ears and swore when he saw multiple fresh bite marks. They should’ve healed into bruises by now, but Galen had taken a lot of blood last night. I was still recuperating the loss.

“Did he force himself on you?’ Rafael’s eyes were dilated, almost completely black. His angry shadows twisted around us before blinking out of sight.

“It’s more complicated than that. I think I frightened him into thinking I’d cut him off. It’s my fault. It’s my blood that did this to him. I pushed him too far last night.” I hid my face, flinching as I felt his steady hand on my shoulder. If Galen knew he was in my room…

“We should go. Quickly,” I said. “If anyone sees you in here, Galen will lose it. He’s not himself right now.” I shot out of bed and sat back down as a spell of dizziness washed over me.

“ This is who he is, Marigold. You aren’t safe with him,” Rafael growled. “Don’t move. I’ll get your clothes. What do you want to wear?”

He opened my closet, pushing Galen’s clothes out of the way with a growl and leafing through my dresses. He chose a simple gown that I could put on by myself, tossing it to me. He found a bag and began throwing clothes, undergarments, and shoes into it.

“What are you doing? I can’t wear this to see the Oracle. I need something I can fight in.” I watched as he grabbed a brush from my table… ribbons for my hair.

“You aren’t staying in this room for another minute . And we’re not going to the witch today. You can barely stand. I’m taking you to my place until you’re stronger, and then—only then—do I want to hear your opinion on the matter.” He looked like he was just daring me to challenge him. I didn’t.

“Turn around while I get dressed.” I was too tired, too sad, to throw any sarcasm his way. He faced away from me without a word.

I was wobbly, but able to stand when he gathered me in his arms and turned us into mist. We appeared on castle grounds, a few hundred yards from my window.

Apparently that was the limit of how far his shadows could travel in one go.

He looked down at me before we were smoke once more.

This time we were in the forest and he let go of me.

“I’m going to shift to my pooka form, if you feel strong enough to ride. I don’t want to drain my magic unnecessarily. Just in case.”

In case Galen tries to stop us, were the words he didn’t say.

“I can ride,” I insisted, already feeling better with the fresh air, shuddering to think how I’d feel if I didn’t have healing magic.

He tossed me a wool cloak from my bag, which felt ridiculous in the heat of the day, but my hair was a dead giveaway to anyone who might see us.

We flew along the forest trail, meeting no resistance. When we arrived in the village, Raf took us to a dark alley, before shadowing us into his room.

“Tell me what happened,” Rafael demanded, guiding me to his bed. He pulled up a chair. I thought about holding back information, but it was Raf. I trusted him… more than I trusted Galen. The truth of it made me cringe.

I told him about our argument, then about the proposal. His eyes darted to my hand. “You said yes?” he asked, stunned.

“No. No—I said no.”

He looked at the ring, narrowing his eyes in confusion.

“He insisted I wear it… as a promise. I didn’t have the heart to take it off. He was a mess. I’m a mess.” I looked down at the ring and removed it, setting it on Raf’s nightstand. I felt like I was going to vomit. I thought of Galen with Isla and gagged. I was going to vomit.

I ran to the bathroom and puked into an empty bucket, wishing for a toilet that flushed. Rafael came in and rubbed my back, adding to my mortification.

“Go away. I don’t want you to see me like this,” I groaned into the bucket. How had I felt so strong just yesterday? It felt as if Galen had taken more than my blood last night.

“I’m not going anywhere. I live in a brothel. I’ve seen more than you can imagine.”

I laughed in spite of myself. When I was feeling better, he helped me off the floor and we returned to his bed.

“Continue whenever you’re ready,” he said gently, handing me a glass of water.

“I asked him if he was addicted to my blood—told him that he should get his blood elsewhere. And then he… he essentially told me he needed my magic to protect me, which doesn’t really make sense, now that I’ve said it out loud.

And then he took what he wanted. Once the…

effects of the bite took over, I didn’t even try to stop him when he bit me again.

And again.” I looked down at my ringless finger.

When Rafael finally responded, his voice came out in a choked whisper.

“None of this is your fault,” he assured me, clearing his throat.

“What Galen did was abusive. I’m no relationship expert, but what he did…

it was not from a place of love. He’s dangerous.

He’s one of them , whether he wants to be or not.

You don’t belong with someone that has been groomed to kill people like us—who takes what he wants after you tell him no .

It’s not your job to save him. It’s not your duty to stay with him.

He doesn’t own you. But if you marry him, he will. In the eyes of faerie law, at least.”

He moved his chair closer to me and held my hand. I knew what he told me was true, but logic didn’t stop my heart from aching. Perhaps if Galen was able to get some distance from his mother, from my magic, from this world —he’d go back to being himself.

This was my fault, I knew it, even as Raf told me otherwise. If I wasn’t there for Galen… who would be? The thought brought a fresh batch of tears. I couldn’t give up on him. He needed me .

“I have to go back,” I whispered. “He’ll come after you if he finds out you took me to your room.” Our brown eyes met and I wished… I wished everything had played out differently.

“You truly think that cub can kill me? I’d like to see him try,” Rafael scoffed, flexing his biceps as he said it.

I nearly laughed at his ridiculous faerie ego, before I thought of what a fight between them would actually mean—the damage it would cause. Fear stabbed into my chest like a rusty knife.

“He has my magic running through his veins, Raf. And it’s no coincidence he trains with a shadow wielder. It would be a mistake to not take him seriously. I don’t want to see you, or him, hurt. Especially because of me.” I patted the bed, a request for him to come sit beside me. He obliged.

“I don’t know what’ll become of Galen and me.

He’s not acting like the male I fell in love with…

but I have to face him—I have to do this for myself.

And if he doesn’t listen, if he tries to hurt me, then I’ll have my answer.

” I spoke freely, knowing Rafael wouldn’t react aggressively.

He’d let me make my own choices, even if it crushed him.

“I won’t stand in your way, but I loathe this. You owe him nothing. At least stay here and rest for a few more hours. He’ll just think you’re at training—then I’ll take you back, if you insist… but I’m sending you with this.” He held up a key.

“What is that?”

“A key to your room. I should’ve gotten one to you sooner. I stole it off Robert yesterday—just in case. If they learn what you are—” He paused, collecting himself. “They can’t find out. He can’t find out. Do you understand?” He dropped it into my hands and folded his fingers over mine.

“Thank you. And yes. I understand.” It should’ve been Galen who gave me this. Why was his brother treating me with more respect than he was?

Raf got up and left without another word.

I thought he’d stormed off, but he appeared several minutes later with a plate of food and a glass of orange juice.

“Try to get some sleep, I’ll be back soon.

I’m going to take advantage of this time and go fly towards Tarragona and see if I can find Louis.

I’ll be back for you, I promise.” He hovered for a moment before leaving me alone in his expansive bed .

It was funny… that I’d found myself in Rafael’s bed, before ever seeing Galen’s. Perhaps funny wasn’t the word Galen would’ve used.