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forty

I arrived back in my room with Raf’s kiss still fresh on my mind. I had to tell Galen, but I was afraid he’d go mad and take it out on his brother. Perhaps it was better if I kept it to myself until I sorted out why I’d let it happen.

I couldn’t tell him about my newly discovered pneuma either.

Lies and secrets were stacking up too quickly.

It wasn’t just that he was under his mother’s influence; it was also that I still didn’t trust him.

There were too many other lives at stake…

and he wasn’t the only one I cared for. I reminded myself that our union had been foreseen by the gods themselves—this would sort itself out in time.

I was expected to attend dinner this evening. Lusha arrived right on time to get me ready in a coral gown that looked like a celebration of summer. While life was not ideal right now, I loved that I could spar with Rafael in a shirt and trousers by day and feel feminine in a summer dress by night.

We all had the capability to be multifaceted when we weren’t forced to conform to the rigged rules of society.

The longer I was in Nymera, the more I knew that to be true.

I had spent most of my life in a cage disguised as a castle, but now that I’d experienced flying, I could never go back to the way things were.

I had to believe that Ophelia would understand.

I wanted to set others free as well. If I ruled someday, I’d foster communities that felt safe to express themselves through art, hobbies, fashion… I wanted to be part of a world where beings created more than they destroyed . Leisure wasn’t something only aristocrats should be able to afford .

I thought of the faeries and humans who’d risked everything to follow their hearts, just to have it end in tragedy. They were the definition of bravery—standing up for what they believed in, despite the risks.

My mood turned a deep shade of blue as I thought of the people that the Elders, that Galen , had killed.

Courageous souls who’d chosen love , no matter the cost. Those were my people.

Wearing a bright color felt suddenly crass.

I thought about switching gowns, but what would that change?

A fashion statement wouldn’t help… only action would.

How had we gotten to a place where leaders no longer served the people they were sworn to protect? Did absolute power always lead down a corrosive path? How would I keep myself from making the same mistakes?

Lusha snapped me back to the present when she asked if I’d heard of the recent human attacks in Lavinia.

“An entire family was found drained—children too. Evil is spreading. We’re doomed if this continues.

” Lusha didn’t hide behind a polite smile as she usually did.

Her uhra, typically a bright yellow and blue, was dull tonight.

I wasn’t the only one reaching the end of my rope in this world.

“They’ll pay for what they’ve done,” I said with a cold calm. And I meant it.

I sat at a full table that night. All but Louis were present.

I was placed between Rafael and Arnold; cringing at my proximity to the Elder, I slid my chair closer to Raf.

Galen noted my behavior and scowled, while Isla glared at Galen.

Sylvia arrived and sat down, dumping cold water onto the already frigid atmosphere.

“How was training today?” Galen asked from across the table, looking back and forth between Raf and I.

“Uneventful,” we both said in unison. Galen raised a brow.

“The clock is ticking, Marigold. Perhaps your lessons should become eventful. No progress in shifting, then?” Sylvia asked with a tight-lipped sneer. Did they suspect something? I was going to be paranoid until I left this world.

“No, still working on it. ”

“Two more weeks until the festival, then it will be my turn to host you.” Arnold gave a malicious laugh and adrenaline shot through me.

I was about to send him flying across the dining hall with the force of an icy gale, but Rafael grabbed my hand from under the table and reprimanded me with a stern look.

This was not the moment, his eyes told me.

Isla spoke next. “Then Galen can wash his hands of you.” She hooked her arm possessively around him. He removed it, then swallowed his glass of wine in one gulp. I threw my napkin down on the table and stormed out, leaving a chilly breeze in my wake.

Galen found me in my room, curled up in a chair, staring at the fire. “Marigold, you can’t react to Arnold’s threats. He’s too powerful—you don’t want to make an enemy of him. If you don’t find your pneuma soon, I’ll only be able to do so much. It terrifies me—the idea of you in their possession.”

His breath smelled like faerie whiskey. He’d been drinking more.

The last round of executions had stolen something vital from him.

The tighter I held him, the farther he drifted, like a ship lost at sea.

The awful truth was, I hadn’t been able to forgive him for it either.

He wasn’t the only one responsible for the rift that was forming.

“It won’t come to that,” I promised. Trying to sooth him, I approached, wrapping my arms around his waist, and resting my head on his chest.

He stiffened at my words. “What do you mean? Have you shifted?”

Another fracture formed between us. “No, but Rafael says I’m close. I can feel the magic, I just haven’t been able to fully let go.” I looked down, unable to meet his eyes. My empty stomach twisted uneasily.

“I see. And you aren’t worried about what will happen if you don’t shift in time?” His tone was skeptical as he gripped my shoulders more tightly.

“I’m getting stronger—and I have you on my side, don’t I?” I searched for the love in his eyes, while I lied through my teeth.

He ran hands through his hair, making his auburn tufts stand up. He seemed to be on edge. Or was I the one feeling edgy ?

“I won’t let them take you,” he murmured.

“Why does Isla still act territorial over you? Why is she so confident that you’re going to leave me?” It was the worst thing I could’ve said, at the wrong moment. I was projecting my own guilt onto him.

Flame exploded from the hearth, reaching the chairs that sat nearby—where I’d been sitting moments ago. They licked along the floor until I put them out with a layer of wet snow. I gawked at him, speechless.

His voice rose as he said, “I am so sick of you asking about Isla. You really want the truth?”

I stared at a spot on the stone floor, nodding slowly.

“ Very well . I slept with her. Once . The night I found Rafael’s rope at your window. I buried myself in her to keep myself from killing him—to keep myself from taking it out on you. It didn’t mean anything.” He sat on my bed with his head hanging low, anger fizzling into dejection.

The room began to spin and I sunk to the ground. He’d made me feel crazy… and all along, I’d been right. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Because… look how you’re reacting right now! It was just sex . You and I weren’t even together. Your human heart is so fragile, you’ll hold this over my head—you’ll sleep with Rafael to get back at me!” His words slurred, but they still hit their mark.

“That is not the kind of person I am. I am upset. Because you lied. And not for the first time. My faith in you is growing fragile— not my heart.” I tried to cool my hot temper with several deep breaths. “Just go. We’ll talk when you’re sober.” I walked towards the door in hopes he’d follow.

I turned around to find him before me, on one knee.

He grabbed my hand as my mouth gaped open and he pulled a ring from his pocket.

An emerald stone set against a gold band—the jewel was the exact same color as his eyes.

He held it up to me, while his hands shook.

“Marry me. I can’t live without you. I won’t lie to you again. I want to be better… for you.”

I stayed silent, afraid to respond. This was not the moment for a proposal.

“Galen, I don’t want to rush into marriage.

I’m not ready. First, let’s get to Erador.

Once we’re away from the Elders, we can breathe—have a real relationship and see where this leads.

” I was as honest with him as I could be.

I hoped it would be enough to ease his frayed nerves.

He gave no visible reaction. Had he not heard me? He stood up and took my hand, pushing the ring onto my finger .

“Galen, I—”

“Please just wear this as a promise—as a symbol, that you’re mine.

I’ve never cared about anything this much.

It’s driving me crazy. I hate that you spend your days with Rafael.

I hate that I can’t kill anyone that threatens you.

I wanted to kill Arnold tonight.” He kissed me as he rubbed the ring that was now pinching my finger.

I didn’t know how to say no… so I kept it on, for him.

Unable to keep my foot out of my mouth, I asked, “Are you addicted to my blood? You told me it felt like a drug in your system. Perhaps that’s part of what’s making you feel so… out of sorts. I think you should get your blood elsewhere for a while.” I braced for his reaction.

He gave me one of his signature charming smiles.

“My love, it’s not your blood that I can’t live without…

it’s you . Your magic makes me stronger than I’ve ever felt—that’s exactly what we need right now in these uncertain times.

I need to be able to protect you. It’s a gift…

that I’m so thankful for. Do you not enjoy when I bite you? ” He had twisted my words.

“It feels amazing, but—”

Galen silenced me with a kiss before saying, “Good, then it’s settled. You’re mine and I’m yours. One day we’ll be blood-bonded and we’ll share each other’s blood. There’s no shame in being my source until then.”

He was so fast, I had no chance to object. Like a lion on an antelope, his mouth was on my neck, drawing blood, before I could even shriek. I tried to push him off as I recovered from shock, but he didn’t budge. When the magic took over, I became powerless to the pull of pleasure.

He pulled up my dress and ripped my underwear off in a rough tug. Then he was inside of me with one deep thrust. He lifted me up until he was holding me, his hands braced under my thighs. My legs wrapped around him as he took me, before both of us climaxed together in wave after crashing wave.