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COLLINS

I can’t sleep.

Every part of me is wide awake and overthinking the biggest decision I’m ever going to make with the Hoffman princess lying right beside me.

What alternate universe am I living in to think that this won’t blow up in my face?

I know Penny is insecure over her inexperience. However, I’m the one who is experiencing multiple firsts ever since she pried her way into my life.

She is a lioness dressed up as a lamb.

In hindsight, I never stood a chance against her. In a way, it almost seems silly thinking that I could have resisted her at all. The moment I was officially assigned to her was the kiss of death on my self-control.

Sure, I’ve spent many hours in Seattle watching over Penny’s treatment regimen and caretakers. I was always making sure I checked up on her progress and overseeing the facility when they didn’t know I was watching.

But nothing prepared me for officially being Penny’s bodyguard and the adrenaline rush running through my bloodstream right now.

Never once have I invited a partner to my bed—let alone my apartment. Never once have I spooned with anyone or actually lain beside someone with the intention of just sleeping.

Yet, here I am, snuggled behind this beautiful enchantress, who is so freaking sexy wearing nothing but my T-shirt and her lacy panties.

How in the hell did the stars align in the universe that granted me this one moment in life?

I know where our relationship is heading, but the forceful desire I feel in this single blip in time to rip her clothes off and rock my body on top of hers is almost more than I can handle right now.

Just being in the same bed as Penny is agony enough. Yet there is nowhere else she belongs more than right here with me.

But this is close to straight-up masochism.

Especially with how Penny is moaning as I rub her arms and hands. She enjoys my touch, and a sense of relief rushes through my veins that she isn’t freaked out over it. The last thing I would ever want is for our pending arrangement to cause her any harm—or a setback on her mental health progress. She’s been through a lot of trauma. I don’t need to make her continued healing worse.

And that’s what she’s doing—healing. Perhaps our union can lessen some of her pain and insecurities over her own self-image. I damn well will try to tell her and show her just how beautiful I find her, because I do find her irresistible.

“That feels so good. I love to be massaged,” she coos, relaxing her head back against mine.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“It’s not a disturbance if I crave everything your touch can deliver.”

I breathe in her sweet scent.

The smell of strawberries will surely be all over my sheets, and I will undoubtedly regret the moment they’ll need to be washed.

I place gentle kisses to her neck and then to her ear. “Sleep well, my princess. Because tomorrow, after we go through our formal expectations, you’ll officially be mine.”

“Hmm…” Leaning her head back at an angle, her eyes find mine. “I’m not tired.”

“You need sleep.”

“You aren’t sleeping.”

She has a point. “I’d much rather watch you sleep.”

“That’s creepy.”

I laugh. “I’ll try to be less creepy.”

Penny thinks about it for a minute. “You sure you don’t want to break the rules?”

“If you only realize just how many rules I’ve already broken with you.”

She rolls her eyes. “Rules are meant to be broken, Collins.”

“Not in my world.”

“This whole abstinence thing you have going on”—yawn—“is the biggest surprise of the night.”

I chuckle into her hair. “I can’t wait until your pussy is in a constant state of being sore. You’ll have multiple daily reminders of where I’ve been. So, enjoy your rest now, because this bed will soon become secondary to sleep.”

Wrapping my arms around her, I close my eyes and listen for her breathing to change, before I allow my own sleep to overtake me.

If Penny realized I would cave to her every demand with her pouty bottom lip alone, then I’d be in serious trouble. The woman is ruthless when it comes to getting what she wants. For weeks she has tormented me in ways I didn’t consider a turn-on prior to her input.

Never once did I think a girl wearing my shirt would cause such a profound territorial reaction inside. Yet, the sight of her lacy panties peeking out of my tee, as she reaches up into the cupboard to pull down a mug, is one sure way to get her fucked on the countertops before four in the morning.

Apparently I’m not the only one who can’t sleep.

My mouth fills with saliva at the thought of getting lost between her legs. Even just watching her fill her mug up with water is tantalizing.

I can’t keep my head clear when she’s around. Every other cloudy thought is of a sexual position I’d like to twist her in. She is like a closed tulip that just needs the right nurturing to open up and bloom, and I have an overwhelming sense of pride that I’m going to be the man to help her see her full potential.

Her innocence is a gift—one I don’t take lightly.

Sure, Penny is not a virgin. But being with a boy versus a man are two vastly different experiences. To me, she’s never been intentionally touched with her pleasure as the focal point. From the little responses she’s given me thus far, I know her body will react explosively.

And the excitement of that coming to fruition is causing all my nerve endings to ignite.

“Do I even need to get a physical today?” she asks, sensing my presence behind her. She takes a sip of water before shifting her attentive gaze back to me.

“You couldn’t sleep anymore?”

She shakes her head, casting dancing shadows on the wall from the dimmed light of the lamp she has on from the other room. “Too much on my mind.”

“Like the physical?”

“It’s not like I’ve been with anyone since college.”

She slices up a lemon into wedges and then adds one to her cup. Stirring vigorously, she manages to spill some onto the counter.

“And before I was admitted to Soulful Mind, I’m pretty sure I got some type of examination in the Emergency Room where blood was also drawn. Then there’s the delivery guy from Seattle who tried to shove his hands down my pants and?—”

“Do you want me to find him and fuck him up?”

“Whoa, what? No!”

“Because I will and harbor zero regrets.”

“Easy there, killer.” Penny backs her ass up against the counter, and quickly adjusts her shirt, probably from the coldness hitting her exposed skin. Crossing her arms over her chest, she gives me a stern look. “And to answer your question—no.”

“You shouldn’t be letting anyone—especially strangers—put their hands down your pants, Pen. For fuck’s sake.”

“I do recall your hand being down my pants last night at the club.”

“I’m not a stranger.”

Turning, she grabs her mug and takes a sip. “And neither was the guy.”

I look at her skeptically, feeling the anger bubbling inside. She is being deliberately vague, even though she has to realize I already know exactly who she is referring to. Her brothers made it very clear to handle the problem, and I was all too happy to follow the order. Penny deserves so much better than to be felt up near the vending machines. “If you can’t even recall his name, then he was a stranger.” Why are we even arguing about this right now? “The fucker didn’t deserve you.” And he should be glad I didn’t break his hands for even touching her.

Her lip curls up into a smirk. “And all this time I thought you didn’t care or even see me. You have a jealous streak, Mr. Stone.”

“And you have a defiant streak, Miss Hoffman.”

She busies herself by filling another mug with water and then offering it to me, which I accept. I could get used to her serving me, with her sassy smile and creamy smooth thighs.

“For you, sir.”

My eyes narrow on hers. I’m starting to learn that Penny thrives on playing games and driving me wild. “I could get used to you being my little servant.”

She huffs out a laugh, obviously finding my comment fun. Her upper teeth gnaw on her lower lip, drawing my attention to the sensitive flesh.

“You’d fire me the first day for not taking orders.”

My lips curl into a smile. “Or punish you for your disobedience.”

“It’s not a punishment if I like it.”

I nod, thinking about the possibilities for the near future. “True.” Maybe fucking the brattiness out of her in feral lust will do the trick then.

“Anyway”—she takes a sip of her drink—“it was just a few times at Soulful Mind when we were messing around.”

Okay, we are back to the fucker again…

“No fluids were exchanged, but that’s because I wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment. He got pretty mad that I wanted to take things slow.” She shrugs, obviously thinking back on the situation. “Huh, well, maybe that is why he called me a prude the one time we were making out, and I wouldn’t give him a hand job.”

I clench my mug so tightly that I worry I might shatter it. It takes everything in me to resist the urge to relocate the asshole and verify that he knows never to contact Penny ever again. It’s not like he hasn’t already been threatened to stay the hell away from her—by numerous people. Sometimes a broken nose just adds necessary punctuation to the message.

Penny deserves a man, not some boy looking to scratch an itch.

“I would prefer to not use condoms, Penny,” I say, trying to get back to the point of this whole thing.

“Okay…”

“Thus, it’s best to talk with a professional about a birth control schedule and to make sure that both of us are healthy.”

“I’m pretty sure no one actually has this talk when they hook up after a night out partying. Just sayin’.”

“Well, this should be the normal and responsible thing to do before starting any sexual relationship. It’s also the difference between being with a man versus a man-child.”

“I’m pretty sure we are in the minority, Collins.”

“How so?”

“Well, most people enter into relationships for the romance aspect. And nothing about a sex contract screams hearts and flowers.”

“At least it will offer protection in the aspect that we both will know exactly what to expect. Plus, you’d be surprised what people do behind closed doors. We might not be as much in the minority as you think.”

“I don’t need the romance. I just need the rapture. I don’t need a Hallmark card love story, Collins. What I want is a slam-me-against-the-wall fuckfest.”

“Bloody hell.”

“And right now, this teetering along the edge of right and intensely wrong is making me feel all sorts of temptation.” She fixes her hair behind her ear. “I don’t want condoms.”

“Good. We are in mutual agreement.”

“And I’ve been getting injections periodically for years to help with cramps. So I’m good to”—her eyes meet mine—“go. So let’s get it on.”

“Patience.”

“Do you like her?”

My blank stare eats its way through every nerve ending, sparking an electricity through me that only puts me more on edge. “Who?”

“Daphne.”

My eyes twitch. “Why are we talking about her right now? And no. At least not how you are envisioning.”

“Rate her pussy from one to ten, with one being a dumpster and ten being a penis paradise.”

My lower jaw goes boneless. “You can’t be serious.” Is this Penny’s version of an anxiety-riddled self-sabotage episode?

“You had to find her hot enough to have a kinky spanking scene with her. Are we going to have a public scene at Limit-X during the contract’s duration?”

“Hell no.”

She props her hands on her hips. “And why not?”

“Because I respect you too much.”

“But you don’t respect those other girls?”

I let out the breath from my lungs. Where is Penny going with this? I’m not used to someone so sexually inexperienced being so sexually bold. It’s like she is taunting me with both her innocence and her dirty mouth at the same time, and I can’t tell which one is winning the battle. “Because I don’t want to share you. I won’t share you.”

“Even if I want to be part of an orgy?”

“Fuck, Penny.”

“Just teasing,” she giggles. “I was just testing you. Don’t worry, you passed.”

“You keep testing me with that smart mouth of yours, and I’ll put it to better use.”

Her smile is contagious, well, until she doubles over into a fit of giggles. I don’t see her face for a solid minute, and when she finally recovers, she bats her eyelashes at me like a temptress. “Maybe that’s been my plan all along.”

I shake my head at her—which I seem to be doing a lot this morning. She does seem to have this running list of all the things she wants jostling around in her head. Never in a million years would I have been able to predict the turn my life is now taking, with this gorgeous girl who I know wholeheartedly I shouldn’t touch. Yet I can’t stop thinking of all the ways I want to dominate her.

Penny doesn’t make me want to be a better man. She makes me want to be the villain. And something deep inside me makes me wonder if she doesn’t want the same thing.

She sparks my darker side, making me territorial and a predator to her. Yet that’s what she seems to desire.

Penny is equal parts temptress and princess, all wrapped up in my oversized T-shirt that she is now lifting above her?—

“What the hell, Penny? Why are you?—”

“Shhh…” She places her finger over my lips. “I just think that having a contract before actually having sex is silly. What happens if we aren’t compatible?”

With any other woman, I would be able to see her point. However, just the way my cock stirs every time this girl is near it is indication enough that we will certainly have fireworks whenever we finally submit to the act.

“And if we aren’t compatible?” I challenge, mostly because I want to hear her next steps.

When I can sift through all the extra words, I can usually find the truth. Motives guide actions, and I’m certainly interested in what drives Penny.

“Then, I will still allow you to bodyguard me.”

I resist snickering over her use of the word allow , as if her approval is governing my ability to do my job.

I may have been looking for my replacement before, but so much has changed since our almost kiss in the gym.

Since then, I’ve had numerous samples of the forbidden fruit, and there’s no part of me that doesn’t crave a more substantial taste.

Our attraction for one another is undeniable, and I now know that it’s this magnetic pull that makes me cocky enough to realize I’m by far the best person for the position. I will lay down my life to protect her—whether she approves or not.

“But I can have a fuckboy on the side,” she adds quickly.

A growl erupts from my diaphragm. “Never.” She has to be joking…

“Then you better put out now so I can sign with confidence later.”

“So you want a trial run?”

“Like a sample snack from the snack shack.”

Now I’m a snack? What am I going to do with her? That’s the bigger question. “Okay,” I agree with hesitation. I at least understand her point. “And when do you want to have your snack?”

Her eyes trail leisurely down my body as her fingers play with the waistband of my boxer briefs. Turning her head, she looks at the time on the stove. How is it after five in the morning?

“Now.” Her eyes move back to mine. “I’m famished.”

“I’m breaking all the rules with you.”

A smile plays on her lips. “Fun, isn’t it?”

“Dangerous.”

“My tests are all clear, Collins. I actually have had a recent physical. I can provide you a copy of the results. I have them saved on my phone. I have been taking a reliable form of birth control for years, albeit for something unrelated. You know—since I wasn’t actually fucking anyone during that time.”

“I had a physical done recently as well and have not had intercourse with anyone after it.”

“Wow.”

“Surprised?”

Her eyes trail down my torso, lingering on my crotch. “I hope you still remember how to use?—”

Penny’s yelp makes me laugh, as I fling her up into the air and carry her back to my bedroom. I lay her on my bed and soak in the magnitude of this moment.

Penny looks good in the moonlight seeping in from the windows. Soon it’ll be the sun.

I had envisioned how our first time together would be in my head numerous times. I’ve spent most of this past night fantasizing about how I’d take her. However, there’s only so much teasing and taunting I can endure before completely snapping and resorting to my genetically-dispositioned caveman tendencies.

Within seconds our clothes are discarded.

“Collins?”

“Yes?”

“You’ll go slow, right?”

“Of course, Princess. I’m going to prepare you to take me. You don’t need to worry about that, okay?”

And she will take me—all of me.

Her head nods, allowing my promise to permeate what I assume are her fearful thoughts. “Okay.”

There’s no turning back time now. She set this all into motion when she triggered my overprotective instincts and provoked me with her curious questions about the contract.

This is what she claims she wants, so who am I to deny her? When it’s daylight she can start obeying me. Right now, I’m a loyal servant to her needs.

I have tried to resist her innocent stares and her alluring personality. I have tried to stop myself from tasting the forbidden fruit, knowing that I’d get sent a one-way ticket straight to hell. I tried…

Trust me—I tried.

But I failed.

With concentrated precision, I reach for her ankles and pull her down the bed to a standing position. Steadying her stance, I splay my fingers over the sides of her hips.

“I’m obsessed with your curves.”

“I just don’t want to disappoint you,” she whispers, looking down at her naked toes.

“I don’t want you to overthink this.” I kiss her on her forehead.

Then I take my seat in the armchair, leaving her standing in her nakedness in front of me.

“Dance.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I eat with my eyes first.” And because I’m fucking jealous of every man—and woman—at Limit-X who got to experience her on the dance floor.

Now it’s my turn to indulge.

After several long seconds and the prediction that she won’t follow through, Penny starts to perform.

Her hips swivel and her head tilts back up toward the ceiling.

I can tell she isn’t fully confident, and that alone sends blood to my cock. I like her innocence. I like that she isn’t some porn star replica.

Much preferring her softness, I find Penny absolutely enchanting.

“You’re doing amazing, Princess. Keep dancing. Show me what will soon be mine.”

She moves to the music in her soul and enchants me with every shift her body makes.

When she gets close enough to be within reach, I grab her waist and place her on my lap so she straddles me, while digging my fingers into the lush flesh of her ass cheeks.

For several minutes, we just grind against one another, using my pre-cum as lubrication to assist with the friction.

“I’m going to destroy you and wreck that pussy of yours that you use as a weapon instead of a source of pleasure.”

“Yes, please.”

“You sure that is what you want? There won’t be going back once you decide.”

Penny nods. “I’m so horny that air is turning me on, as a gentle caress when all I want is something rough. And certain. And unapologetic. Can you be those things for me?”

Her words are airy and believable.

She wants this. I want this.

“Yes, Princess. I can.”

“Then stop starving yourself.”

I stand up with Penny wrapped around me like a bear cub on a tree and walk us to the bed.

“You did well, Princess,” I praise, feeling her melt even more.

Placing her gently on the center of the bed, I trail my fingers along her legs, settling at her ankles and giving them some attention.

I rub and massage, enjoying the moans escaping from between her lips.

Penny likes being touched by me, and the realization sends a shock wave through me, because I very much love it as well.

My hands explore northward from her ankles up to her calves, and when they get to her inner thighs, I spread her wide. I want her open and vulnerable. If this is going to work short-term, then Penny needs to realize that I don’t falter on my expectations. I like what I like and lack the desire to put a label on it.

I want her body to spell out the answers to my questions.

Does she like my tongue licking her folds?

Does she like to see herself in the mirror while I take her from behind?

Does she like to feel my cock pulsing in her mouth while she swallows my seed?

Does she like to go dizzy from her source of oxygen being obstructed?

I’m going to have so much fun bending her to my will. Deep down I know she wants to resist, but her need to please me will be stronger. I can sense it.

“Don’t move, Penny.”

“Okay…”

“You move? I stop.”

I watch her throat as she swallows hard, her chest rising and falling as I kneel between her legs. Taking my time with her is the last thing on my mind, and yet I owe it to Penny to prepare her for my entry—despite the painful signals my cock is sending to me to hurry the hell up.

I want Penny with every part of my being and in every imaginable way. But I also want to make this a pleasant experience for her.

I want this to be her first time, erasing whatever horridness she’s endured in the past.

Penny may be worried over compatibility, but I’m not. I’ve known it since her birthday party that she’d be the fire to my fuse.

For weeks we’ve been playing this seductive game where there’s no real way to win, but also no way to not play.

My mind can’t think about the endgame. I can only think about the now.

And right now, I will have Penelope Josephine Hoffman.