Page 24

24

COLLINS

“Yes,” Penny hisses, spurring on every bad decision I’m about to make.

“But I know I shouldn’t. Because I’m afraid one taste won’t be enough.”

“We don’t go through life holding an umbrella just in case it decides to rain. You must take risks.”

My eyes focus on her lips. The way they press together… The slight glossy shine they have in the lights filtering in from the main street. “If this doesn’t put me on the fast track to hell then there may be redemption for me after all.”

A whimper escapes her lips, as my vision blurs.

My thumbs reach up and trace a soft path along the outline of her lips, wiping away the touch from the past. And then I feel it—Penny’s tongue—licking the pads of my fingers and then sucking them inside her warm mouth.

Closing my eyes, I roll my head back slightly as the blood rushes to my cock, providing it life.

Dammit, that feels good.

All the bad decisions I’ve delayed making are on the edge of the cliff I’ve been too afraid to leap off—until now.

So I jump.

And without warning, my thumbs slide out of her mouth and my own lips crash into hers, as Penny’s part to let me in.

That’s a good girl.

I devour her.

I lick and taste and probe and…savor.

I get drunk off her innocence, and indulge in the taste of sin and betrayal. And in this one moment in time, it’s as if our hearts collide, sending energy through my entire body and into hers.

Our frames mold to each other, as if we can’t get close enough.

Penny breathes into me the life I didn’t know I wasn’t experiencing, opening for me and giving me permission to fill in her voids.

My arms wrap around her, molding her to me and shielding her body with mine as I binge on her sweetness.

I can’t think.

I can’t breathe.

But I sure as hell can feel. And in this moment—right now—I feel on top of the world.

All this time, I thought I could resist her, but my craving is just too strong. Knowing that she feels the same way is what is making it impossible to keep my emotions in check. She wants me like I want her.

The rigidness of my cock rubs against me through my pants, fighting for more friction.

“Is this proof enough of my desire?” I growl, while sliding my hands over the sides of her waistline.

My teeth bite at her, demanding that she opens up more for me. I want her to give in to the passion that I’m inflicting on her wanton body. I suck air into my lungs, making me feel alive, while one hand grips her hair and the other digs into her ass.

Lifting up her leg, I wrap it around my hips, allowing the other to join. I grind my cock against her pussy, causing her kiss to become more…

Assertive?

No.

Impassioned.

I lean my weight against the wall, resting a hand by her head, while my entire body shields hers by its sheer mass. My thumb from my other hand grazes against her cheekbone, tracing along the curvature of her jaw, and then slowly it makes its way down to her neck.

“I wish I knew what you were thinking,” she says softly.

My eyes hood, while I maintain a firm grip on her body to keep her stable. “I’m thinking about how I’m going to burn for every dirty thought of you running unrestrained in my head.”

She smirks. “How dirty?”

I study her. Why is she not running away from me? Why is she not fighting against me? Why does she feel so content in my arms?

But she doesn’t know… She’ll never know…

“You have no fucking clue how depraved my mind and my tastes are.”

Leaning forward, she pushes her shoulders off the wall to get closer to me. “What…happens…if…” she says, kissing me between each word. “I…want…dirty?”

My body hardens against hers. She feels like a dream. It’s as if she’ll just float away if I don’t hold on to her tightly.

She’s my weakness and my strength—in equal parts.

But the consequence of us being together could eventually send a ripple into this moment in time that could cause catastrophic damages in the future.

I pull back after licking her sweet lips, sucking in air through my teeth.

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Why do you keep overthinking everything?”

Gently placing Penny back onto sturdy ground, I take two steps away from her, while running my hands through my hair. “Dammit, we shouldn’t be doing this.”

“And why not?”

She looks genuinely confused. Why is this so hard for her to understand?

Penny shakes her head. Her breathing picks up, causing her chest to rise and fall like rolling hills. “You are valuing sex too much. Quit making it into a big ceremony or something. Just put it in”—she pauses her monologue to add hand movements—“swish it around a few times. Bam-o. Done.”

I can feel my mouth gaping, as I take another step back.

“What the hell, Pen? Is that how you view sex? This isn’t like making a freaking cocktail. There’s a bit more finesse.” My fingers run through my hair.

“I’m simply saying that it doesn’t need to be more than what it is. I don’t need special.”

“You deserve special, Pen.” I know she’s been drinking, but there’s still some truth to her description, and a part of me is upset that she lacks the self-esteem to wish for something grander. And dare I think it—a little more special.

“I need a release. I need someone to notice me and to want to be with me. And I’m starting to get antsy and desperate. The next guy that shows me any interest will probably find himself inside my squishy pussy before he can use his safe word.”

“Fucking hell, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I’m not some little girl who doesn’t know what sex is, Collins.”

“You deserve more than to get railed in the backseat of some loser’s car.”

I close the distance between us.

My fingers dig gently into the softness of her hips, and for a second I worry I will bruise her. She has all the right curves, and I love having something to squeeze on to…

Except I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t be touching. I shouldn’t be sampling the forbidden fruit, no matter how tempting she is and how persuasive her depictions are. Yet, my eyes can’t stop focusing on her beautiful body or how her breasts look extra plump when she is breathing heavily.

Penny is equal parts sweet and sassy—and I can’t decide which I like best.

I sigh. Why am I the only one who understands the implications and the fallout that will ensue if her family were to find out I made a move on her? “You are the baby sister of the two men who entrusted me with your care.”

“I never asked for a guardian, Collins. I didn’t ask for anything.”

“That doesn’t change the reality of the current situation.”

“Well, then quit,” she challenges.

“I’m older by sixteen years. I should know better. It’s too big of an age gap, little princess.”

“So.”

“It’s wrong. And I’d be evil for pursuing it.”

“Oh, please save my ears from filling them with the innocence garbage. I’m a grown woman—one who is rejected yet again tonight. And this stings the worst, because you showed me what it could feel like to be with you. And I fucking liked it!”

I can’t even look at her. I can’t be near her and not want to rip her clothes off.

She’s the source of all my agony—all my torment—and to downplay this life-shattering decision to merely just a rejection is careless.

“This isn’t a rejection, Penny. This is self-reflection. Because crossing over the line a little is still crossing over the line. There’s no gray area where you are concerned.”

What I want to do with Penelope Hoffman is wrong on all accounts.

But I’m lacking the strength to resist, and the way her lip is pouting out, I don’t think she realizes just how much I yearn for her.

“We are attracted to one another. And I consent to whatever you’re willing to give to me.”

“But this is wrong, Pen. I know it. You know it.”

Her nose flares, and I brace myself for the fire. “Then why does wrong feel so right?”

“Because you are intoxicated.”

“Am not!”

I glance down at her plump curves, while wrapping her blonde locks between my fingers. “You are an angel with the purest heart, and I’m a monster desiring to commit my next sin. I’m not good for you, Penny. And this is wrong going against your brothers’ backs.”

“Please don’t mention my brothers right now, Collins. Not now. Not while I’m being vulnerable in front of you. You think you have dirty thoughts flooding through your brain right now. Well, you haven’t seen mine. They will rival yours—guaranteed. If I’m an angel, I’m a dark one. Don’t let the innocent facade fool you. I know what I want. And I’m prepared to go through the flames to get it.”

I believe every word she speaks. I know that just having the Hoffman last name gives her a certain amount of power. The problem is, her brothers have way more of it. They run this city with their connections and wealth. The last thing I need is to be on the opposite side of their good graces.

I’d much rather be an ally than an enemy.

And touching their one and only sister will be the ultimate betrayal to sever any bond I’ve spent years trying to nurture.

Sure, I can hold my own. But why would I want to spit in the faces of my bosses?

Penny is determined. And if I’m not careful, I’ll either fall for her or suffer at the hands of the men who hired me to keep their sister safe.

“Come,” I say, taking ahold of her elbow. “I’m taking you back to your place, before I make the biggest mistake of my life.”

“How noble of you,” she gripes, trying to pull away from me. She bends to pick up her handbag and tosses a few items that poured out onto the street back in.

Ignoring her saltiness, I guide her to my SUV and open the passenger side door, helping her inside. I take a few deep breaths as I round the front and enter into the driver’s side. I snap on my belt and spare a glance her way.

“It’s not that I don’t want you, Pen. Trust me, I do.”

“But not enough to actually act on it.”

“It’s best for the both of us if I don’t. I’ve already overstepped enough.”

“Because I’m not like all the other girls…”

“No, you are not.” Doesn’t she realize that men don’t actually enjoy the easy girls, as much as they enjoy the chase? “But that’s not a bad thing.”

Penny picks some paint off her fingernails, looking out the window as I start to pull out onto the street and into traffic. “Are you going to go to jail for assault?”

“It’ll be worth it.”

Her head whips over to me. “Collins…”

“No, Penny. I won’t be going to prison. That fucker won’t be pressing charges.”

“Why are you so certain?”

“Because he has an open warrant in Washington state and won’t be drawing any more attention to himself.”

Her eyes blink a few times, probably trying to decipher first if I’m telling the truth and then second how I’m privy to these bits of information.

“Just take me home,” she says in exasperation after a long pause. “I’m ready for some battery operated toys and a new day to start. Who needs a man to stumble around trying to please himself in my flesh when I have silicone and my own hands to do the job?”

My greedy-as-fuck cock jerks in my pants as if it just hit puberty and can’t keep under control. The sass on this girl. She knows exactly what to say to elicit a reaction out of me—albeit this time I’m able to stay quiet about it.

She has no clue just how good being with me would be. What she doesn’t need is some boy in need of a road map to locate her erogenous zones. No. Instead she needs a man who can work her up to the edge and then send her over it in a rush. She doesn’t need someone to satisfy her. She needs someone to devour her.

But I’m not the man.

I can’t be that man.

We drive in silence back to Sky View Apartments. I’m used to the quiet and yet there’s something so bothersome to me about all of this.

I keep my eyes on the road, afraid that if I glance over, I’ll give away every emotion running through my body right now—many I haven’t even deciphered quite yet. There’s a large part of me that knows my torrid thoughts are going to get me sent straight to hell.

Yet, there’s a more aggressive part of me that knows that every stirring sensation I am feeling inside is in direct relation to the happiness Penny brings into my life. She makes me want to be softer, more yielding.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m demanding as fuck. It’s just that now I’m considering how my actions will make her feel. I don’t want to scare her with my intensity. If anything, I want to make her feel so comfortable that if she ever has a problem, I’ll be the first person she’ll lean on.

A foreign feeling rushes over me. Is this what jealousy feels like? I already feel like an idiot comparing myself to inanimate objects—like her silicone dildo—when clearly I can supply her needs better than they can.

But that’s what this whole night has been about, beyond just protecting Penny.

It was about jealousy.

If I can’t have Penny, no person or object can…

And that there is the shittiest revelation of this entire journey.

I finally glance over at her as she fidgets with her handbag, opening and closing about two inches worth of the zipper on repeat. “I think I’m broken.”

“You aren’t broken, Penny. Don’t say things like that.”

She shakes her head adamantly. “How else would you describe it then, Collins? I’m twenty-two years old and have only experienced one orgasm in my entire life. And I think it was just a fluke anyway. It wasn’t anything like the magazines describe it as.”

Oh. I was not expecting this. Damn.

And then she sighs. “And now I’m questioning if I ever even experienced one in the first place. And it definitely was by my own doing if it was genuinely one, because there’s no way a man could ever be responsible enough to handle that endeavor.”

Well, at least I know that Penny is an open book when she has some wine running throughout her system. She’s providing me more insight into her past experiences than I’ve known up to now.

“What makes you question yourself?” Why the fuck am I even asking? What benefit would result from knowing this highly inappropriate information? I’m her bodyguard for fuck’s sake—not her sex coach.

“Because the euphoria I felt when you kissed and ground against me in the alleyway was so potent that I know I’ve never felt that zing before in my…”

Now she’s being shy? What’s changed other than possibly having a chance to sober up?

I nod, not because I’m agreeing with anything she’s saying, but instead because I’m trying with everything I am not to sport a freaking hard-on in these close quarters with her—when all I need to do is draw a firmer line. And then actually not cross it.

“Pussy.”

Fuck. Is she trying to kill me? Is it the alcohol that just dissolves her filter or is this the real Penny all along?

I know Graham and Nic want to keep this angelic vision of Penny preserved in their minds, and I don’t blame them one bit from all she’s endured from Mark Tanner, but this woman is not the innocent little girl they see.

No.

Penny is a seductress.

And every naughty word spilling out of her perfect little mouth causes a primal response deep within me.

To claim.

To worship.

To own.

There’s no path out of this situation that won’t lead to hell. I am literally delaying the inevitable.

I slipped up tonight, and while I promised myself I wouldn’t do it again after sending Penny mixed messages during our self-defense session, I know I’m a liar. I know that if this girl keeps dangling her forbidden fruits in front of me, she’s going to unleash the hunger inside me that won’t be quenched until I make her completely mine.

If Penny only realized how dark my desires for her go, then she would understand why a rejection by me is the best thing for her right now. She isn’t ready for what I have to offer, and she sure isn’t ready for the baggage I bring to the table.

When we get up to her place, she unloads the contents of her handbag all over the floor outside her apartment, most likely looking for her keys.

“Why do you have plastic spiders in your bag?” I ask, growing very suspicious she’s the person who placed one into my glass the other day.

“Oh, no reason.”

It’s amazing how much a small rectangular bag can hold.

I watch as this firecracker of a girl sifts through all her belongings, excited to find the key that should never have taken three minutes to locate.

By the time she stands to insert it, she notices my own in her lock.

“That’s obnoxious, you know?” she says with a glare. “I guess I need to change the locks.”

“And I guess I’ll just need to make a new key then.”

“That’s breaking the law.”

“Report me.”

She sticks her tongue out, turns my key, and pushes open the door in a huff.

“Fuck!” Luke calls out over his shoulders.

I shoot daggers at him as he stumbles about the place, covering up his freaking dick with the palms of his hands, while some girl pouts her lips that she had to stop giving what appears to be a blowjob.

Penny’s mouth completely gapes, as her eyes stay glued on the situation. “Shit,” she slowly whispers, her voice sounding throaty and raw.

I pull her away from her place, slam the door without a care for anyone on the floor within hearing range, and usher her back down the hallway.

She tugs on my arm, but I keep moving, pulling her toward the elevators and away from her horned-up roommate.

“What is happening?” She lets out a strained giggle, as she tries to look back to where we just left. “What did I just witness?”

Anger bubbles inside me. That idiot. “That there was your dog of a roommate getting it on with some eager participant. How often does he forget you live there too, Penny?”

She shrugs, watching mindlessly as I slam the button on the wall. “I, uh, not often.”

“So this has happened before?”

“No. I mean, unless my mind is blocking out the trauma.”

“Fuck.”

“I’m sure he is clothed now and his cock has simmered down to a lukewarm state.”

And then she loses it in a fit of laughter over her little joke and play on words with his name.

“You are staying with me.”

I glare down at her doubled over form. Is she really making light of this situation? And does she really think I would escort her back to that whorehouse of a residence? Luke better be glad I don’t toss his entire body into a freezer to cool down.

Straightening herself up, Penny places her hands on her hips. Oh great, now comes the defiance.

“I want to go back and at least grab my toys.”

What the actual fuck? “No.” Is she for real? How will I be able to maintain a professional relationship if I know she is masturbating a room away from me down the hall in my own residence?

The elevator car arrives, and I usher her inside before she can think to protest further.

“You don’t even want me,” she snaps, as the elevator doors close, securing us inside.

“I want you safe, first and foremost. And if that means doing my fucking job, then so be it. But going against what I’m hired to do is not in either of our best interests.” No matter how horny this princess makes me. “And there’s no way in hell I’m allowing you in your apartment while your roommate is entertaining some chick while nude.”

Luke needs to contain his hobbies to his own bedroom. I’ll be damned if I’m allowing Penny to go back to that scene. Her entire place is going to need disinfected.

“Well, I’m not staying with you.”

“You are staying somewhere,” I challenge. “And it won’t be your apartment.”

Penny twists her fingers, while rocking on her feet.

“Let me go get my clothes at least.”

“You aren’t walking back into that fuck fest.”

“Huh…”

“What?”

“A fuck fest sounds amazing right now. Maybe there’s room for one more.”

Oh, hell no. “You better be joking.”

She shrugs. “You’ll never know.”

I stay on guard in case she decides to make a run for it when the car arrives to the designated floor. “I have clothes at my place. You’re staying with me.”

“Can I expect a fuck fest?”

“No, Penelope.”

“You are boring.”