Page 17

17

PENNY

I nearly dump an entire marshmallow-flavored cappuccino all over myself on the way into Hoffman Headquarters. It probably doesn’t help that I’m also juggling my box of desk essentials that I picked up on the way here. And by essentials, I mean anything random that caught my attention. Plus, I included all the normal items like a desk calendar with motivational messages, a bedazzled gemstone stapler, and a little heart-shaped picture frame with a photo of my family inside.

My job wasn’t supposed to officially start yet, but after giving it more thought, Claire and Angie wanted to transition me into the office. Having my own desk was unexpected since I expected to mostly be modeling.

I’m honestly thrilled to have something to focus on other than overanalyzing my forward progress with therapy and all the backsteps I have taken. Despite just starting it recently with Margo, I already feel overwhelmed with the case of what-ifs that I doubt even she can control.

What if I’m not fully healed?

What if I get sent back to the center?

What if I’ll never get over my past?

What if there doesn’t exist a guy who will understand that I’m a product of my trauma?

But I am here. I got out of bed this morning and ate a non-sugary breakfast and made the choice to not be afraid of my own shadow—at least not today.

Today is full of new possibilities. And being here feels good.

It feels right .

I even got through security and check-in without an obvious escort paving the path. It feels invigorating to finally have some independence and do something on my own. Maybe Collins took the hint, or better yet, got reassigned.

One can only hope.

That man has the charisma of a hungry lion. And yet, I think I would miss his looming presence. He’s different from all my other guards in the past. He’s smarter than they are and more thorough, which is probably why I find it so odd that he isn’t here now lurking in the shadows.

I glance around the space. Or perhaps he is and is just really good at hiding.

Regardless, I feel empowered and ready to take on new challenges—no matter who is or isn’t watching it live.

I don’t need a babysitter anyway, and having a watchdog here will only make it feel like I got this job because I’m family or because it would be way easier to keep an eye on me in my brother’s building than if I were to work elsewhere.

But I can’t get inside my head. I need to walk with purpose and with poise.

Just like a model…

There’s no space for self-doubt in my life today, at least not when I’m on a high from the unexpected need for me to be here in the office.

But maybe a little self-guided pep talk could do me some good, like it has in the past.

I can do great things.

I can be an asset to this company.

I can prove to the world that I can triumph even in the face of adversity.

Rolling my shoulders back, I take a deep breath.

Just don’t get fired.

I can’t imagine how awkward family gatherings will be if I get fired or know I should be fired but am kept on payroll out of guilt. I’d just resign if it were the latter.

I take the elevator up to the correct floor and resist going to Graham or Nic’s offices to harass them about hiring me a secret bodyguard who isn’t so secret. Honestly, if there hasn’t been a conversation about the whole thing yet, then there’s no point having one now.

What’s done is done.

Graham and Nic must really just think they pulled one over on me.

Oh well, it’s better for everyone to think I’m clueless or naive. It makes ditching my watchdog easier when I really need to get away.

When the elevator doors open, I step out of the car, walk down the lounge-like corridor, and then enter through the main doors into Plus None.

“Penny, I’m so glad you could come on such short notice,” Angie says, giving me a hug.

That’s definitely the pro to not really having anything else going on in my life, which is basically sad if I overthink about it too long.

Several other employees glance over at us. But I shove down any feelings of trepidation over anyone thinking of reasons why I’ve been hired in the first place. Everyone seems nice, and I don’t need to taint that opinion with negative self-talk.

Angie takes the box from my hands, glancing inside at all of my random things.

“It’s too much, isn’t it?”

“Oh no. Of course not.” She studies the box of some of my gadgets. “I love the sand tray and the little desk fountain. Oh, it has mood lighting—nice.”

I’m second-guessing all of my purchases and silently vow not to shop again while under the influence of too much free time.

The truth of the matter is, I don’t have an official style. For years, I would allow Momma to pick out my clothes and organize even my own bedroom.

In a way, I figured she’d do a better job, so why bother when she was willing to make my space look great and enjoy doing it?

And it did look great.

But after being discharged from Soulful Mind, I realized how short and fragile life really is, and through that self-reflection, I’m starting to see that it’s okay to not have everything figured out.

“I wasn’t expecting to have a desk.”

Angie gives me a half squeeze, while trying not to drop anything. “Of course, you’ll have your own space. And I know you’ll make it your own.”

I look at my box of items as she places it down on the empty desk that already has a Penny Hoffman engraved name holder. At least I stuck to a theme—controlled chaos. I unload a few items, rotating them to see where they’d look best next to a modern desktop computer. “I may have gone overboard.”

“Impossible.”

“You’re just being kind,” I say with a little laugh.

I have fun sorting through my purchases and find the perfect location for my little Zen garden sand tray that has little glass pebbles.

“You know, everyone in this office is either going to steal that one or demand you tell them where you bought it.”

I rake through the sand, creating little ravines. It really does have a relaxing effect. “It clearly is my best purchase ever,” I joke and hand over the rake for Angie to use.

There’s a few people in the office working, but they all have headphones on and appear to be deep in thought. Despite taking a moment to look at me when I first arrived, they all seem to now be in work mode and not paying me any attention.

I like it that way too. I’m not one who enjoys being the center. I’d much rather stand on a sideline.

Angie glances at her watch. “If you don’t mind, I have a few things to discuss with you before Claire arrives.”

I swallow the spit pooling in my mouth. “Okay.”

She smiles. “It’s not that I want to go behind her back, but I bet she’d feel more comfortable as a result of my efforts in hindsight.”

I know Angie is coming from a good place, so I don’t feel anything but gratitude that she would want to include me in her discussion at all.

Angie guides me over to the sofa section. How cool is it that a corporate office—one I’ll now be working in—has a section for relaxing and brainstorming? Everything about this place lives and breathes warmth and inclusion.

I’m obsessed.

The dress code is relaxed, yet everyone appears to choose to be professional. Living plants rest on stands and in pots near the windows. And there’s an amazing lounge that is stocked with healthy snacks.

I really could get used to this.

Angie and I each take up a sofa.

“So, I’ve been thinking…”

I cross my legs at my ankles. “Okay…”

“I know the original plan was for you to model for Plus None, and that’s still definitely something Claire and I both want. But the work is sporadic and is centered just around photoshoots and not as much the office.”

I nod, trying to predict what she’s going to say next.

“With Claire going on maternity leave later this year—at Nic’s request, not hers—I would like to have employees be more versatile.”

“Of course. That makes sense.”

“Although, I imagine once Claire holds her baby for the first time, she may completely jump ship and enter the stay-at-home mom life. Anyway, I’d like to get you trained on the marketing aspect of the business for the off chance we need a bit more help while she steps away temporarily.”

“Or permanently.”

“Yup. That’s always a possibility. Claire can be unpredictable at times, but I know her well enough to know she’ll always have a firm foothold in the company she helped create. Her role might just look a little different than it does now, where she is putting in so many hours.”

“She is a determined and driven person.”

Angie nods. “She’s out right now meeting with potential partners for Plus None who might place products in our subscription boxes.”

“How wonderful. I can’t wait to see what gets decided.”

“So, you’d be willing to learn some of the behind-the-scenes marketing techniques and strategies? And also brainstorm with a team your ideas on what colors to use, fonts, and motivational monthly slogans? This would involve field testing, surveys, and analyzing already successful marketplaces.” Angie takes an exaggerated breath. “Sorry, that was a lot. I’m a lot.”

I laugh. “I can do all of that, just as long as you understand that I have zero experience but am very eager to learn.”

Angie smiles brightly. “Hiring you is our game changer.”

“But you barely know me.”

“I know enough. And I make decisions based on my intuition which rarely lets me down. Besides, this is a low-pressure type of thing. If you try it out for a while and really don’t like the work, we can reassess and come up with a new game plan. But I’d really like to see where this goes right now. We already have a decent-sized following. It’s just about staying fresh and keeping our clients always wanting more.”

I nod. “This sounds like a lot of fun.”

“Did someone say fun?”

We turn to see Claire looking as adorable as ever. I know when she first found out she was pregnant, Plus None decided to host a pregnancy subscription box that has really taken off. There wasn’t a ton on the market and definitely not one that was meant to progress with all months of pregnancy.

I can only hope that I can learn a lot and help relieve some stress that might occur to the company if Claire takes an extended leave.

“Good seeing you, Claire,” I say, getting up from the sofa to give her a hug.

“Same to you, Penny. Oh, I saw your new desk. I love your choices. Where did you get the sand tray? I feel like I need one of those in my life for when Nic drives me crazy with worry over this”—she points down to her small bump—“sweet potato.”

We all laugh.

And it feels so good that I know accepting the offer to work here was one of the best decisions of my life.