Page 21

21

COLLINS

I pull into the parking lot at an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town. If I want to meet up in a discreet location, this is where I choose to do business. There’s no surveillance, and law enforcement rarely patrol this deserted area.

I kill the engine, undo my seatbelt, and then get out. Swallowing hard, I watch as a pickup truck pulls into the parking lot, blowing clouds of dust into the air. Placing my hands into my pockets, I rest my weight onto one foot.

For decisions as big as this, I usually feel a sense of direction—some type of inkling pushing me one way over another. To others, they may think my biggest weapon is my ability to shoot a target. However, it really is my intuition. I’ve learned to trust my gut feeling and proceed accordingly. Unfortunately, with this task, I’m having doubts already.

Maybe it’s the guilt seeping in from knowing that I’ve failed Penelope Hoffman. Or maybe it’s the fact that this girl is burrowing herself under my skin until she finds the location of my heart.

The truck door slams, and then I see Penny’s potential bodyguard make his way toward me. He would be the guy who would demand a truck for his rental vehicle.

“Redeye,” Chris greets, smacking hands with mine, which then turns into a hug.

It’s been awhile since I heard my old nickname out loud. I just wish my memories of that era of my life had a happier ending.

“Good seeing you.”

“Pardon me for being a bit surprised. I’m not used to being propositioned by the best of the west.”

I chuckle. “I never expected you to leave your southern roots behind.”

“I would have chosen sweet tea over anyone—except for you.”

I place a hand to my heart. “I’m honored.”

“Don’t let it get to your head. The real reason I fully committed is because you finally got Rowdy Rowdy Chicken.”

I let out a laugh. I forgot about Chris’s obsession with fast food. “You know we do things differently up here, right?”

“Just because there’s two ways to skin a deer, doesn’t mean your way is better.”

“Except it is,” I joke.

Chris has always had a good sense of humor. We’ve known each other for years beginning during our military days. However, we went our separate ways when proximity no longer kept us in easy communication.

I got discharged. He stayed and retired with full veteran benefits.

But every time I think back to how things went down, I’m consumed with bitterness.

I was betrayed by the people I trusted.

“I do like this cooler weather, despite it being summer,” Chris says, glancing around the open space around the warehouse.

It is cooler here. But it’s also morning.

Despite going separate ways, that didn’t mean I was completely out of the loop on what has been going on in Chris’s life. I’ve seen his name tossed about in different social circles as being stellar at his freelance assignments.

“I hope your flight was smooth.”

Chris gives his trademark big-grinned smile. “Only because you opted for the best seat on the plane.”

I forget what I even assigned. Right after the self-defense lesson, I called up Chris and had him fly to Portland to meet with me face-to-face. I don’t even remember what I selected outside of first class.

“You still hate the exit row, right?”

“I do.”

“It’s probably because you had to jump out of too many planes.”

“No doubt. But you hooked me up with seat 1A, the greatest seat that ever existed on an aircraft.”

“Your spoiled ass has standards, am I right? You’re a bougie prick who probably ordered hot towels for a five-hour flight.”

“Accurate.”

We both laugh.

“Here’s all the documentation you wanted,” he says, handing me a stack of papers that can barely be contained inside a folder. “I didn’t alphabetize them and color code them. So forgive me. I can see you never stopped being a picky bastard.”

“I’m just trying to catch you in a lie.”

“You never stopped interrogating either.” Chris scratches his jawline, where his stubble is more than a five o’clock shadow. “Let’s just get to the point. Why did you summon me here all the way from Texas?”

“As you know, I’m employed by the Hoffmans.”

“Pretty sure there’s a billboard advertising this. So yes…”

“Joking aside, I have to reassign myself from the guard assignment that I was given of watching Graham and Nic’s youngest sister, Penny Hoffman.”

Chris’s eyes narrow. “That’s not like you.”

I shrug. “Part of being a good bodyguard is understanding the limitations and being able to identify if you are the wrong person for the job.”

“How complex is the job?”

It’s the hardest job I’ve ever taken on—hands down .

I look out into the empty field, where the sun is about to rise. It has been days since Penny and I spent time together. I miss her. Trying to respect her wishes, I’ve been watching from a distance—which is the most torturous part.

I stood on the sideline as she went shopping with her family—never intervening even when I knew her feet were hurting. I resisted helping her move into her new place, despite being available to get her settled in. I didn’t even bring her lunch that day when I knew she skipped a meal. I’m trying, yet every instinctive nerve in my body is screaming to protect her and to take care of her.

My urges want to do the very thing she is adamantly resisting…

I want to coddle her.

And now that I know there’s an attraction from her side, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be close to her and not want to rip her clothes off and fuck her against the nearest flat surface I can find.

So now, I have no other choice but to step back and allow someone else to provide the same protective services—but with zero emotional attachment. I’ve gotten too close to the mark, and it didn’t take me much time to get there. That’s the effect Penny has on me.

I’ve confused her, and I’ll never forgive myself for causing her unneeded emotional pain.

“As long as you stay detached, you’ll be fine.”

“Huh,” Chris says with a hum, “is that what went wrong?”

Part of our military training was anticipating events happening before they happened. I’m not surprised that Chris’s intuition is kicking in. He’s an insightful kind of guy.

“I’m not going to get into details. I can set up a discreet meeting with Penny for you to officially meet her and see what you think from afar.”

“Okay…”

“I still will have to check out a few things and, of course, consult my boss about the potential change in assignment if I move forward with hiring you. I’m sure he’ll want to meet with you, as well as his younger brother, Nic.”

Chris nods, absorbing all of the information I’m giving him. “Sounds good.”

“I’ll be in touch, but don’t worry. I’ll cover all the living expenses leading up to the final decision. I have to do what will make the most sense for the Hoffmans.”

“Understood. You need to be thorough. No hard feelings either way.”

We smack hands again and then get into our vehicles. When I start the engine, a feeling of dread consumes me, as if I’m making a poor decision.

Am I?

Is this what’s best for Penny, or is this what’s best for me? I’ve spent the past forty-eight hours vetting potential candidates. While Chris was an add-on to the list, I think he’s the best fit for his qualifications. I doubt he’ll put up with Penny’s stubbornness either. His no-nonsense personality might be exactly what she needs to keep her in line.

My phone buzzes from the cupholder and I see Nic’s name, followed by Graham’s, appear on the notifications list in a group text asking me if I am up for some sparring at the gym. The guys have been known to take their lunch break at the gym and blow off some steam, but this is very early for them to want the adrenaline rush. Right now, I feel pretty tense. I need to work through my aggression if I’m going to be mentally clear to make hard decisions. I text back with confirmation, backing out of the parking spot.

With Penny resisting my guidance, I’m trying my best not to smother her but still keep tabs—at least until I can get an official replacement figured out. When a final decision has been made, I’ll fill her in. There’s no need to cause her any more stress than I already have.

Penny is living life in a bit of a limbo right now, with the big transition into her new place and the start of her new job at Plus None. The other night was her first official time sleeping at her apartment, and I’m sure the moment was a bit bittersweet.

I know how much Penny loves her parents. Being away from them and not having any real friends in the city has to have her feeling the pangs of loneliness.

And now I’ll be deserting her.

I am pawning her off to another qualified bodyguard who won’t blur the lines and flirt with her.

When I get back into the city, I park in front of Ground Floor—the same coffee shop where Rex helped Penny carry a box of pastries out to my vehicle. It seems like a lifetime ago when she had her first Plus None meeting with the girls.

I exit the car and walk into the corner cafe, smelling the fresh aroma of ground coffee beans. When it’s my turn in line, I order a nitro cold brew with foam and a cream cheese bagel. Plastered on the bulletin board, I see the speed dating event’s information. I take a picture of the flyer, texting myself a reminder to add it to my calendar. There’s no doubt in my mind that I’ll find Penny there, and based on the date of the event, Chris may be officially on duty.

I should be relieved that I won’t have to run surveillance at an event with a bunch of eager dickheads who are just wanting to get laid. Except I’m not.

Every time I think of someone other than myself watching Penny, I get this uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, screaming at me that this is not the best option—even though logically I don’t have much choice. I either sever the entire relationship with the Hoffmans by overstepping an unspoken boundary, or humble myself to let them know that I’m not the best man for this job.

A glance at my watch lets me know that I need to get moving. Taking a sip of my drink, I exit the shop.

“You’re getting weak,” Graham says, jabbing me in my ribs. It isn’t hard, but it’s a sign that I’m distracted.

I duck as his other gloved fist comes barreling past my head. Grabbing both of his legs, I pull him down on his back. “At least my reflexes are still good.”

I bounce back up on my heels. It feels great to get out some of my frustration, in a modified way. Graham is up and ready to fight again, as we circle each other. With Nic cheering from the sidelines, we go a few more rounds before rotating who’s in the ring.

“Well, that was fun,” Graham says, patting me on the back.

“It was,” I agree with a nod. I catch the towel Nic throws at me, wiping the sweat from my face and neck. I sure got heated during the sparring.

“So, how does it feel having less drama in your life?” Nic asks.

Ha. If he’s referring to his little sister, then he has her completely wrong. My life has been nothing but drama since I signed my name on the contract. “Like a vacation,” I joke.

My leave hasn’t been made official yet, and there’s no point even saying anything until I fully vet Chris. I need to be certain that this is what’s best for Penny before I make some rash decision.

With typical jobs that involve outside hires, there’s also a trial period that the Hoffmans like to implement, especially considering past failures for hiring trustworthy people.

Graham laughs. “Well, don’t get too comfortable. Penny’s unpredictable. She always has been.”

“Straight up facts,” Nic concurs. “I’m still reeling from when she went to see fucking Tanner.”

Graham growls, and I know his feelings without him ever speaking a word. He and I are similar in our rigidness. And if Penny was…

Mine…

If Penny was under my surveillance at that time, then she sure as hell wouldn’t be trudging into a fucking prison seeing her abuser. Tanner better be glad his life was spared and that the authorities got to him before he could have perished in the fire. But his days are numbered if he thinks he can torment the poor girl from inside his barred cell.

Mark might be telling Penny that he will see her in court, but there’s no way any of us want Penny to relive her trauma on the stand.

“But Collins has seen it all with Angie and Claire,” Nic continues. “Can’t get much worse than those two hellions.”

I swallow hard. I honestly would have thought that from the sidelines, but I’m just a couple of weeks in on the job with Penny and already want to take a leave of absence.

“I’m just glad that Penny is out of the facility and is making progress at moving on. She is strong.”

Graham and Nic nod, their eyes softening. I know they love their sister. That’s what this is all about in the first place—protecting her.

“Just keep her out of trouble,” the eldest Hoffman says with a sigh. “I have my hands full with the wife. And to think I fell in love with her for her passion and independence.”

Nic bursts out laughing. “That’s the irony, isn’t it? If I wasn’t terrified of Claire’s emotional state, I would lock her away for safekeeping and coddle the hell out of her.”

“Pretty sure you are still doing the latter,” Graham points out. When Nic starts to become defensive, he holds up a hand to quiet him. “Oh, I don’t blame you. Trust me. If my Angie were to be in Claire’s shoes, she best know that I’m not going to put up with half the shit I put up with now. My need to let her spread her wings only works when she isn’t running herself into the ground. Someone needs to make sure that woman is taking care of herself and eating right. Drives me nuts.”

I think back to the face Penny made when I made her eat breakfast on the way to her parents’. I swear all these fierce women are the same. They like to act like they don’t need us, but in reality they totally do.

And if this dickhead of a roommate even thinks about making a move on Penny, I’m going to snatch her from this town and make the idiot she cohabitates with become part of a missing persons case. I swear life has a way of throwing curveballs my way that I never anticipated needing to catch.

I take a detour to the locker room to use the shower and clean up before heading home. At least I already ran a background check on the owner of the apartment building when I first moved in, so the only thing left to do is keep a closer watch on this Luke Brawley. If he’s like most guys his age, he’ll reveal his cards soon, and I’ll know just how much of a threat he is to my sanity.

When I exit the gym and unlock my car door, I see the shiny penny that I have resting in the center console. I remember seeing Penny’s excitement over finding something that doesn’t have much value, yet now holds special meaning to me.

I drive home in silence, just listening to my own internal thoughts. I allow muscle memory to take over, parking my car, exiting, and jogging up the stairs just like I have many times.

I unlock the door, de-arm the security system, and take off my shoes. I appreciate having a tidy home. However, I can’t erase the image of Penny inside this apartment. She’s not messy, yet I wouldn’t describe her as a neat freak.

She is controlled chaos.

Despite her being in my residence just a couple of times, I still find little reminders that she was actually here and not some figment of my imagination. It’s the simplest things too, like a hair tie left on a doorknob or the way she haphazardly hung the bathroom towel. Or it was the way the smell of fresh strawberries lingered, letting me know that I didn’t just dream up the entire night in my head.

Making my way into my office, I lay out the file folder that Chris presented me with and go to work at verifying that he’s the stand-up guy I knew back in my military days. It seems like a lifetime ago that I was being trained and working myself up in rank, and then that chapter of my life ended about as abruptly as it started.

When I graduated from high school and didn’t have any clue what I wanted to do with my life, I did what many guys with my childhood upbringing do—I enlisted. It became obvious that I could endure the mental and physical stress without complaint, which were qualities that made me valuable.

I was good at my job and wasn’t afraid of a little hard work—or a lot of it. I worked my way up the ladder fast, and looking back, probably too fast. Having a target on your back when surrounded by those who should all be on the same side of freedom isn’t fun when the betrayal happens from within. It hurts more that way.

And the discharge that happened nearly crushed me.

I could put blame on others, but it all boils down to trusting the wrong people.

I refuse to ever make that mistake again.

Penny might not realize it yet, but we have similar traumas that have irrevocably changed the course of our lives.

And I’m trying my very best to prevent more trauma from happening to her.

When Chris’s documents check out and nothing appears to be disproportionate or shady, I pile everything into the folder and lean back into my chair. Closing my eyes, I rub my fingers over my forehead, settling in at the bridge of my nose. The pulsing pain behind my eyes alerts me that I’m going to need to drink some more water. I am dehydrated.

I walk through my apartment, feeling the sting of loneliness. It’s crazy to think about how having Penny here for just one night gave me a little taste of how things could be if I let someone into my life.

I’m a picky bastard, though. Not many women can handle my level of need for control and for things to be in their set place. I have an unhealthy level of OCD that gives me the ability to function with clarity. I am not sure I can handle anyone coming in and shaking everything up.

I open the door of the kitchen cabinet and pull out a glass, dropping it as my eyes connect with a huge spider at the bottom of it.

Except it’s fake.

What the hell?

How did that even get there?

I toss the plastic critter into the trash and move over to the fridge to fill the glass with ice and then with water.

At least it didn’t break…

I can’t believe I forgot to drink something after working out at the gym with Graham and Nic. I rarely make those types of mistakes.

As the pulsing in my forehead elevates, I make my way into the living room. Settling in on the sofa, I feel the vibration of my phone alerting me of an incoming call.

“Hey, Graham,” I greet, accepting the call.

“The legal team is breathing down my neck about prepping Penny for trial. Obviously, there isn’t going to be a trial. Are you still on board with the plan?”

“Absolutely.”