Page 32

twenty-eight

*NOEL*

“ A den forgot to mention that he used this place to dump everything he doesn’t need anymore,” Lynn grumbles. “When he mentioned decluttering the attic, I thought it would just be the old drawings, painting utensils, and his former work that he had here.”

I chuckle. “Well, it was unused space, so I can see why he wanted to use it to store stuff.”

“Yeah, yeah, go and defend your husband,” she mutters.

“Husband?” I squeal. “Lynn, we are not that far advanced!”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you two go on a vacation tomorrow and come back married,” she points out. “Pretty much aligns with what you both would do. Don’t you think so?”

I tap my nose thoughtfully. “Maybe. I could see it happen under certain circumstances,” I groan. “Aden needs to put a stop to my impulsiveness, not support it even more.”

Lynn laughs. “Aden is a romantic at heart,” she says. “I think all artists have that side.”

“I don’t know. I don’t think Ster does.”

“Sterling?” she smiles. “I think if Sterling sets his mind to something, he would absolutely see it through, even if others would deem it as too fast, too illogical, or not thought through well enough. Don’t you think so? He seems like a guy who goes with his intuition.”

I frown. “I hate that you have a point, but we still can’t make it an artist’s thing. It’s too much of a cliché.”

“Well, Aden and Sterling share that sentiment,” she says. “So, that’s enough for me to know what I need to know.”

She takes the bottle of wine she brought along and pours us both a glass. “Look,” she says, revealing some canvas. “That was when Aden was experimenting with landscapes.”

I gape at the paintings. “My god, he is good!”

She chuckles at my surprise. “How do you think he made a name for himself? Aden is a genius, a very rare talent. I am glad he picked up drawing again.”

“I wish I’d have known him when he was still experimenting with art,” I admit.

“I believe you met him exactly at the time that was right for you both,” she points out. “He was ready to give love a second chance, and you…”

“I guess I was ready to give love a chance, in general. It was the first time for me to allow myself to fall in love.”

“See? What use would it have been to meet Aden before that point in time? You might not have hit it off, but now the two of you work much better than anyone else I know.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I know that Aden has never been with someone like he is with you,” she says.

“Not even with Emil?”

“Oh, so you know about him?” Lynn asks, before she nods. “Not even with Emil.” She pauses. “Being with Emil changed him, for the worse.”

Her words surprise me. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you know his history with his family, don’t you?

” She rummages through some stuff and shows me more of Aden’s early drawings.

The date he signed it shows that he was in his late teens when he drew this.

It’s obvious how talented he already was back then.

“I met him when I was Oliver’s girlfriend.

Instantly got weird vibes from the family dynamics, and at the same time clicked with Aden. ”

“Aden told me you were turned off immediately when you saw how the brothers treated him.”

“Yeah, you can imagine, can’t you? I was so pissed off.”

I laugh. “I can absolutely imagine it.” She looks to be the type of person who would immediately call someone out for their bullshit.

“Seriously,” she grimaces. “Oliver was a nice guy, genuinely nice, you know? But it was a turnoff for me to see how he didn’t stand up for his youngest brother.

Maybe I am unfair, but back then, I thought, if he can’t even stand up against the bullying of his youngest brother, will he ever stand up for me?

Or for our future kids? I gave him a couple of chances, but realized he just wasn’t the guy for me.

” She smiles. “Mateo, on the other hand, would totally stand up for someone in need.”

“He would!” I agree enthusiastically. “And he always did!”

“See, I just knew.”

“You said you and Aden immediately clicked?”

“We did.” She takes a sip from her glass of wine while I continue going through the canvases.

Now that we have freed them of all the surrounding mess, we can finally sort through them.

“I am from a very conservative family. I know the struggle to grow up, not being able to be yourself, and holding back. Aden’s struggles really spoke to me.

Even back then, he was very strong. After I broke up with Oliver, I didn’t see him for a while, but when we met again, we hit it off immediately. ”

“And Emil?” I ask.

“Emil just pulled him down again,” she frowns. “Man, Noel. I know I shouldn’t talk badly about the deceased, but Aden was a wreck thanks to that guy.”

Maybe it’s because I met Aden at a different time in his life, but it’s hard to imagine him being truly broken. However, he did mention that meeting me in that small grocery store was a crucial moment for him also.

Lynn rummages through the paintings before pulling out two separate ones.

One is dark and full of sorrow, the other much lighter.

It still has its signature touch of melancholy.

It seems that’s definitely his style. Even his painting of a beautiful landscape has that touch of heaviness.

However, it’s also what makes his work so intriguing.

She points at the dark painting. “Aden, when he was with Emil. Don’t get me wrong, great painting, but obviously the artist struggled mentally.

” Then she points at the lighter one. “Still his style, but in a much more healthy way. Aden, when he met you.”

“Wait a moment!” I exclaim, inspecting the painting with a frown and checking the date. “You are right, he already was with me when he drew this one.”

“Like I said, he has never been with someone the way he is with you,” she repeats. “I am very happy for him.”

Her words make me insanely happy, but there is also a dull feeling in my stomach, something I can’t quite put a finger on yet. What if I disappoint him? I am almost certain I will. I always do and end up disappointing those I love. Why should it be any different this time?

No, Noel, not the right time to panic.

There is no reason for it!

Lynn, fortunately, hasn’t noticed my anxiety spiking and has turned towards a different painting.

On it, I can see a young man with soft features, his eyes are red-rimmed, his face pale, the whole vibe around him is dark and depressed.

It’s not a particularly flattering image, but it strikes something in me.

It’s sad, and heavy, and almost desperate.

It must be a painting from Aden’s more depressive phase.

Lynn shakes her head. “Emil,” she mutters.

“I wonder if things would have been different if you had let Aden help you.”

“How did he die?” I hear myself ask.

“He overdosed,” Lynn says quietly, still looking at the image sadly. “He broke Aden’s heart every time he fell back into taking drugs. But when he died, it truly broke Aden.”

He overdosed?!

That’s what Aden meant when he said it wasn’t a healthy relationship. He was an addict. That’s why the picture just struck something so dark in me. He looks like Mom looked when she was younger and lived off her drugs.

And it looks like I did when the addiction started to chip away at all of my remaining personality, and all of the love I could feel, because I was too weak to stay away from what killed my father and ruined my mother.

“I need to go to the restroom,” I say, barely able to keep myself upright, while stumbling downstairs.

My heart beats so fast, it makes my head dizzy and my chest tight.

It’s hard to breathe, so hard to breathe.

Everything around me seems to look dimmed all of a sudden, while spinning around me all the same time.

It’s getting so fucking hard to breathe.

I need some fresh air!

*ADEN*

There is much more stuff to go through in my desk’s drawers than I thought.

I am just glad Lynn and Noel took over in the attic.

On my own, this would have taken me days.

While I am sorting through some papers, my phone vibrates.

It’s a message from Oliver, which reminds me it has been a while since he wrote to me.

Hi Aden, just wanted to check in with you, to see how you are doing. Everything well? Hope Noel is well too.

Wow! Who would have thought, Noel telling him off, would be the one thing finally making Oliver rebuild some bridges. It’s the first time in ages that he isn’t trying to pressure me into meeting him or Kayden or one of the others.

And now?

Do I want to remain distant?

I sigh. If I wanted to completely cut them off, I would have done that already. I have never blocked them.

I am fine, thank you for asking.

I wonder if I should ask something in return, but I don’t truly feel like it.

To me, it’s already quite a big step to reply at all.

Putting my phone aside, I dive right back into my paperwork.

The amount of stuff I have collected in the drawers is insane.

For someone who is so nitpicky and organized at his work, I do have quite a chaotic, personal research table.

I guess I have always worked differently as an artist than I did as a gallerist.

“Aden?”

I look up to see Lynn, her eyes are clouded in worry.

“Did something happen?” I gaze outside, noticing the sun is setting.

“Matao said he’d come around, didn’t he?

” Hopefully, he didn’t cancel. I know she has high hopes for this relationship, and I do too.

Mateo seems to be a good guy and a much better fit for Lynn than any of the other guys she dated during the last couple of years.

Also, Mateo is a better fit than Oliver was, and to be fair, he wasn’t too bad as her boyfriend. It means that Mateo might actually be the right guy for her.

“Mateo is on his way. He sent me a message a couple of minutes ago.” Lynn pauses. “It might be nothing, Aden, but… I… fuck, I don’t know.”

Now she certainly has my attention. “Where is Noel?” I ask.

“How did you know that’s what this is about?” she exclaims.

“A feeling. Where is he?”

“I don’t know. He went to the restroom an hour ago,” she explains. “I am sorry, I was so deep into the work that I didn’t notice how much time passed. Then I thought he might be with you, but—”

“He isn’t,” I say. A weird sense of deep calm fills me. It’s not a good feeling, though, it’s the type of calm that I usually forced forward when something in my life was going awry and I needed to cover it. “Tell me what happened, please.”

“We were going through your paintings and chatting. Maybe I talked too much, Aden. I if I did, fuck, I am sorry. I had no idea.”

“Why, what did you tell him?”

“About Oliver and me, and how much better you are today in comparison to back then, and especially in comparison to your time with Emil.”

“You talked about Emil with him?” I ask.

“Shouldn’t I have?” she asks, sudden panic on her face. “He knew his name, so I thought… Oh fuck! He had no clue, did he? I swear, I didn’t say anything bad about you, and we just talked about Emil briefly.”

“Lynn,” I put the papers in my hand away and grab her hands. “Don’t panic. I can’t have you lose your nerve now. You did nothing wrong. You couldn’t have known. Just tell me exactly what you said about him, okay?”

Lynn does, telling me step by step what they talked about.

She was right when she said it wasn’t an awful lot.

Just my best friend being happy that I am so much better in this relationship and have picked up drawing again.

She probably thought Noel knew more than he did.

It’s my fucking fault that he was unaware about everything, I probably should have been open with him much sooner.

“I am not even the gossiping type usually,” she exclaims. “I just wanted to show Noel how well the two of you fit together. I am so sorry, Aden. I didn’t mean to gossip about you or anything.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I mutter. “You just chatted with my boyfriend. What you said isn’t even anything big, just the basics.”

Something triggered Noel, I just know it.

I try to dial his number once more, but it goes straight to voicemail. Like the last time when he ran from me. I remember he had an altercation with his mother back then, too, and panicked. Maybe it’s similar today? Was it the aftermath of having a major fallout with his mother?

Or maybe it was what made him vulnerable and more prone to panicking?

“Here is Mateo,” Lynn exclaims.

“Good,” I say. “He knows Noel well. I am sure he can help.”