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twenty-four

*NOEL*

“ D on’t you worry.“ Mr. Pierce, the lawyer Aden recommends, shaking my hand. He is an older man, serious and dignified, looking exactly like I would have envisioned a seasoned lawyer. “We’ll have this dealt with in no time.”

“Really? I thought it would take months or maybe even a year, or more,” I admit.

Mr. Pierce nods thoughtfully. “Normally, it does, mainly because such a case doesn’t have a high priority, but I am pushing for it to happen. I have already sent the first letters out. Your mother should have been informed also. At the end of the week, I will have an appointment at court.”

“Do you need me to come?”

“No, it’s just the lawyers and a judge,” he says. “You are not suing anyone, and you don’t need to be there as a witness. I am your representative.”

“What if my mother decides to sue?”

“We’ll see if she truly does it. She’ll need money for it. Does she have money?”

I shake my head. “She is an alcoholic. She is barely making it.”

Mr. Pierce looks at me warmly. “She doesn’t have a case. You can rest assured about this. I will get you out of this.”

I feel relieved at his calm confidence. “Thank you.”

It strikes me once again that without Aden’s help, this wouldn’t have been possible. Or maybe it would have, with a pro bono lawyer or someone who costs less. Maybe I could have achieved this with Mateo’s and Sterling’s help, but I never found the courage.

Maybe that was the real problem.

I wasn’t ready to face my mother.

I know, however, that it’s only thanks to Aden that I am able to deal with this issue so quickly. It was something that was like a sword of Damocles hanging over me, a constant threat, a constant sorrow that made me almost give up myself and all my dreams for the future.

Part of me believed I deserved it for all the bad things I did as a teen. But now, I just want to break free.

All pumped and ready to tackle my life, I decide to meet DeeDee next and talk about a job. I take Mateo with me for emotional backup and meet him at DeeDee’s favorite Italian restaurant. As usual, DeeDee is late, so Mateo and I sit down and order something to drink.

“Thank you, Mateo, I know you are probably busy.”

“What are you talking about? Never too busy for one of my friends.” He pats my head. “Sterlone wanted to come too, but he has to finish a painting.”

“Right!” I beam. “Aden mentioned there will be a new exhibition in a couple of weeks.”

“It’s a big thing,” Mateo says. “Aden wants Sterling to show a couple of his drawings this time around, and be there on the day of the exhibit, to talk to potential customers and explain his art. This is a huge chance.”

“He’d better work his ass off,” I say, my heart taking a leap of joy. “Things are really looking up for all of us, huh?”

“Looks like it,” Mateo grins. “For the first time ever.”

“How are things going with Lynn?”

“She is so cool.” He beams. “We are going slow and haven’t put a label on us yet, but there is no way I will just let her go, now that I know how fucking awesome she is.”

He must have totally clicked with her. “I am happy for you,” I say. “You deserve it. And from what I have heard, Lynn deserves it too.”

Aden hinted to me that Lynn was disappointed by the men she dated.

She is a powerhouse, strong, capable, and wealthy.

However, I know that Mateo won’t give a shit about any of that.

He is just not an insecure person, not about that at least. Instead, he would be proud of her and what she accomplished.

“And you are truly ready to finally quit those shitty jobs of yours?” Mateo interrupts my train of thought.

“Yes, I am ready.”

“Finally,” Mateo exclaims, “you are seeing reason!”

“You make it sound like I am utterly unreasonable.”

“You are stubborn,” Mateo says. “You wouldn’t even accept Sterling and my help whenever we offered. I am just glad that Aden got through to you.”

I allow his words to sink in. My first instinct is to lash out at him for suggesting I needed Aden to get my ass up, but the more reasonable part inside me knows that Mateo and Sterling have just been concerned…

for ages. “I wasn’t ready, Mateo,” I admit.

“It wasn’t so much that it was you and Ster offering help, and me being overly prideful.

It’s… I wasn’t ready to let go of the guilt.

” I pause. “Aden made me realize that I deserve more from life and that it’s okay to be selfish and reclaim my life.

I probably worried you both a lot, and I am sorry. ”

“Don’t apologize,” he mutters, looking flustered. “We are best friends. Obviously, we’ll have your back whenever you need it. We would have continued pushing you for as long as you needed it. You are a good guy, Noel. You are allowed to be happy.”

You are allowed to be happy.

Can I honestly allow myself to be happy?

“One step at a time,” Mateo says as if he just read my thoughts. “We are starting with quitting your job.”

“I could not believe it when I heard it!” I hear DeeDee’s voice right behind me.

She pats Mateo’s shoulder before pulling me into a hug and smooching the top of my head.

When she lets go, she tosses three folders towards me.

“These are all friends,” she tells me. “One is a bar that shows live bands, one is another drag queen bar, and the third is just a normal bar, but a small fancy one. All of them are hiring.”

I feel my chest squeeze slightly. It’s getting real. And somehow, the thought is terrifying me. What if I fail? What if, despite all the help I am getting, I won’t be able to deliver? I will disappoint them all.

You are such a failure.

Disappointment…

…useless…

“Sebastian, the owner of the fancy bar, would hire you in a heartbeat,” DeeDee blabs. “He came with me once, to that shady shithole you work at currently, and saw you working. Said with your skills and looks, you belong somewhere else.”

Her words chase my oncoming anxiety attack away, at least momentarily so. “Really?”

“Yes, he wants to see you as soon as you can. As for the other two, they are both interested and are hiring.”

“Why don’t you give Sebastian a call right now?” Mateo says.

“What, now?”

“Sure, why not?”

He looks at me with a smile that seems like he just made a spontaneous suggestion. But I know him too well to buy it, or rather, I know that he knows me too well. He is well aware I am about to chicken out.

“Mateo is right,” DeeDee muses. “Sebastian hasn’t opened the bar yet, but he’ll be in the office.”

I want to chicken out, I honestly want to. I just want to grab my things and run.

Run… run… run…

Are you going to run from me again?

I don’t know why I think of Aden all of a sudden. He is not part of this conversation. I wouldn’t even be running from him if I jumped up and left now, but somehow his words are ringing in my ears. Are you going to run from me?

How long do I want to run?

“Go get them!” Mateo exclaims in relief when I type Sebastian’s number into my phone and dial it.

I called all three of them. The drag queen bar, unfortunately, had already hired someone today, but the other two both wanted to see me as soon as possible. With my newfound courage, I decide to tackle this immediately.

The bar with the live music looks amazing. It’s quite big and clearly made for holding smaller concerts. It’s busy with lots of young people visiting. The team look nice, and the owner is part of the whole concert scene.

As for the fancy bar, which DeeDee’s friend Sebastian owns, it is nothing like I expected.

It’s a small place, very high-end. The customers mainly range from thirty years upwards.

They serve all kinds of drinks, but mostly the typical classics.

On top of that, the bar is also LGBTQ friendly, and very openly so.

“We have patrons who have been coming here for years,” Sebastian tells me. “The location helps, as we are very close to two business districts. After work hours on weekdays can be busier than actual weekends.”

“I can cope well with that,” I reassure him.

“I figured. I saw where you worked,” he says.

“I know it wasn’t a particularly good place,” I tell him. “But I have gained plenty of experience there, especially with stressful situations.”

“DeeDee recommended you,” he says. “And I know she doesn’t recommend just anyone as trustworthy. Would you mind telling me a bit about yourself?”

I do mind, actually, but I also understand why he wants to know more about me.

He is about to hire someone with a shady background after all.

I could hide it, I guess, but at the same time I don’t want my past, or rather my family’s past, coming back and biting me in the ass later, so I don’t hold back.

I tell him about my parents’ debt and how I struggled because of it, but how I am trying to reclaim my life.

“I know this is all a bit problematic,” I tell him. “And I understand this is a high-end bar. I won’t lie, my mother still is a problem. But I have strategies to handle her. However, I understand how I would be too risky for you to hire.”

Sebastian looks at me, before an amused smile stretches his lips.

“Yeah, I can see it.” When I look at him, confused, he just chuckles.

“Why DeeDee likes you so much.” He pauses.

“Yes, it is a risk,” he finally says. “It’s always a risk to hire someone like you, but it also comes with the advantage of knowing you will be able to handle a tough crowd, on the rare occasion things get rough.

You probably know the signs of someone getting too drunk, and can step in, and you probably know how to kick someone out of a bar if they misbehave. ”

“Yes,” I admit, feeling a bit flustered. “I am not so sure if all of this is good to know, but I do.”

“We have a bouncer,” he tells me. “So, your mother certainly won’t be a problem to my place. As for you, I trust you to handle her yourself.” He pauses. “Thank you for your honesty. Not many people are.”

I guess I at least get some points for this.