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twenty-six

*NOEL*

I can’t fucking believe she found me! How did she do it? It’s impossible for her to track my phone, but she does know parts of my life. She knows I am friends with Mateo and Sterling. Maybe she stalked one of them.

The fuck, I don’t know how she did it. I just know she is here now, and I don’t want her to see me, or worse, see Aden.

Or even worse: Talk to him.

I told him a bit about my family, but it’s always different to see the craziness in person. Aden means the world to me, and imagining him turning away from me because of the mess that is my family makes my stomach churn.

“What do you want?” I ask.

And why did she not announce her presence earlier? Was she waiting to see which house I’d be going into?

Mom staggers towards me, wavering, but it doesn’t seem like she is completely shit-faced drunk. I want to turn around and run, but I have no idea where to, and I don’t want to lead her to Aden’s place.

Well, technically, we are right in front of it, but she doesn’t need to know that.

My indecisiveness gives her the opening she needs, though.

“You,” she screeches, grabbing me by my collar and shaking me. “How could you?”

Every time I am face to face with her, I just freeze. I want to believe that I am a fairly confident person, but when it's her, I turn back into my terrified, 7-year-old self.

“It’s not my debt to pay,” she screeches.

Her words rattle me awake. She must have received my lawyer’s letter.

“It is,” I say, trying to keep my voice down.

I am sure we’ve already alerted the neighborhood, no need to yell even more and have them call the police.

“It is your debt! You cheated the system and put it on me instead, your child!”

“I should never have had you,” she spits. “You and your useless father ruined me! You owe me that much!”

I take a shaky breath, trying to remember what I am fighting for, and that I can finally be free of my past. “I don’t,” I say. “I didn’t ask to be born. You brought me into this world, and you and Dad fucked me over.”

“Give me the money,” she yells. “Pay the fucking debt!”

I take another breath, gathering all the backbone and strength I have. “No,” I say.

She lets go of my collar, her eyes narrowed to slits.

Before I can even fathom what’s going to happen, she has slapped me so hard that my head whips to my side and I stumble backward.

Fuck, that hurt. I can taste iron on my lips and a sharp pain on my cheek.

She must have scratched me with her fingernails when she hit me.

It’s been a while since she lashed out at me like that. I am not used to it anymore.

“You ruined everything,” she hisses. “You useless—” She raises her hand again, ready to strike.

My mind screams at me to stop her, to fight back, or to at least run, but my legs don’t move, my whole body seems to be completely frozen, and my mind seems to wander off like it always did when my parents beat me.

But to my utmost surprise, the impact doesn’t come.

“Let me go,” my mom snarls.

My eyes finally focus back on what’s happening around me, my gaze landing on my mother. Someone grabbed her wrist before she could hit me.

Aden?

I only know Aden as kind, maybe a bit too serious sometimes, thoughtful, and incredibly hot in bed. Now, he looks so cold I feel like I am going to freeze. “You have some nerve,” he says to my mother, his voice low and dark. “To assault someone I care for.”

“What do you know?” she snarls. “He is my flesh and blood, yet betrays me. He always did.”

Aden’s eyes are dark when he pins his gaze on my mother. “You have been scamming your own son for years. Take accountability!”

“He owes me for being born,” she snarls. “He—”

“He owes you nothing!” Aden interrupts her. “Take responsibility for your own actions and pay your debt like you should have done to begin with.”

“You don’t know what he did,” Mom hisses. “The things he did. He is not as perfect as he looks. Looks like an angel.“ She looks at me with so much venom, I feel the remainder of my heart break a little. “But he isn’t. He stole, he betrayed others, he—”

My heart sinks. She is right. I did all that. It doesn’t matter why I did it; the fact is, I did. I never wanted Aden to find out, at least not like that. I don’t care for anyone else’s opinion, literally everyone can judge me, but if Aden started hating me, it would fucking break me.

Aden lets go of my mother and puts a hand on my arm, pulling me to his side. “I don’t care what he did to survive,” he says, furrowing his brows. “How old was he when he started to steal, as you call it?” he asks. “Sixteen, seventeen?”

“Fourteen,” I mutter quietly.

“And what did he steal?” Aden inquires further. “And why?”

When Mom stays quiet, Aden just nods grimly. “Your fourteen-year-old son was forced to steal to survive,” he snarls. “Or worse, you made him do it. Are you not ashamed?”

“So, he got himself a rich guy, huh? But still can’t spare his mother a penny. What is in it for you?” she snarls. “You know a guy like him is no good!”

“Love is in it for me,” Aden answers. “A person who loves me with all my quirks. Someone genuine and kind. And he became that way despite his upbringing and his parents. Noel makes me laugh. He healed a part of me I didn’t know needed healing.

That’s more than anyone else has given me, ever! I will be damned if I let him go!”

Before Mom can say anything, Aden shuts her up.

“I need to ask you to leave Noel alone,” he says, his voice icy.

“If you strike him again, I will call the police. If you ever come close to him again, you will face a fucking lawsuit. This time from me, directly! And believe me when I say, you won’t want to take it up with me! ”

Mom keeps glaring at him, but when he takes his phone into his hands, something close to fear crosses her face. Finally, she turns around and runs off into the darkness of the night.

“I am so sorry,” I mutter. “I… have had no contact with her for years. I don’t know how she found me, and I almost led her to you. This is such a mess. My life is a mess. I can understand if this is too much for you.”

Aden rests his hand against my cheek. His palm is cool from the outside air, yet so soft, making me burst into tears. “This is not your fault, Noel, and I am not going anywhere.”

“Is it bad that I still love her? I hate her, but I also love her. I want her to see me, and hug me, and love me, but I know she won’t.”

“Oh, Noel,” Aden says sadly. He wraps his free arm around me, pulling me close. I can’t believe I have a full-grown meltdown in front of him; that’s a new level of embarrassment. But somehow, I can’t stop the tears from flowing.

Aden doesn’t tell me to calm down, he doesn’t say any fake reassurances about how everything will be alright. I know it will never be alright. Mom is Mom, and nothing will change that. And if she changes, it certainly won’t be in the near future

“Thank you,” I mutter against Aden’s chest when I feel more like myself again. “I can’t believe I cried on you.”

“I am glad you did,” he says. “I am your partner. I should be there when you feel down.”

“I should have told you,” I admit. “About my mom. I should have… I am so sorry you had to find out like that.”

“I told you, you can tell me about your past on your terms, at your pace,” Aden says quietly.

“I am not mad, Noel. When you told me about your family and mentioned doing shady shit in the past, I took a wild guess that this is what you were hinting at. You did what you had to do to survive, and you did survive.” He pauses.

“Also, I remember, now, where we met for the very first time.”

At his words, my eyes snap up. It feels like all the air leaves my lungs.

“No need to panic,” Aden says quietly. “I am glad I remember. Let’s go back inside. You are freezing and in shock.”

“You remember?” I mutter my question while I take off my shoes and jacket. It’s only when I follow Aden into the living room that I notice how cold I truly was. The sudden warmth makes me shiver as the cold leaves my body.

“First things first,” Aden says, stepping closer to me. He cups my chin, tilting my head to the side a little. His eyebrows twitch slightly.

“It’s okay,” I hurry to reassure him. “It’s…”

“It’s not okay,” he huffs. “I should have called the police after all.”

“I prefer you didn’t.”

“I know,” he says. “Which is why I didn’t do it. But the next time she pulls up and even looks at you the wrong way, I won’t let her get away. Her fingernails left marks on you. Let me patch you up.” He ushers me further into the living room, to his sofa. “Sit down.”

My mind is in a haze. I barely register what Aden is doing, and I can’t help but replay the encounter with my mother, over and over again.

Eventually, I realize that Aden has put a cup with hot tea in front of me and some sandwiches.

He has also put a patch over the scratches my mom left on me, and he is on the phone talking to someone.

I didn’t notice him doing any of that.

“Who was that?” I mutter.

“Your lawyer,” Aden says. “I informed him of what happened. It will certainly help your case.

I nod. He is right. I didn’t even think of telling my lawyer any of it. It hadn’t crossed my mind at all.

“Hey.” Aden touches my back. “Are you back with me?”

“I completely detached and dissociated, like back in the days when my father would come at me after he drank too much.” It’s still hard for me to grasp when I dissociate. It’s like I am taking a backseat while my body acts on autopilot. “I haven’t done that in a long while.”

When Aden opens his arms, I snuggle into them. “It was due to the shock,” he says quietly.

“Do you really remember how we met the first time?”

“The grocery store,” he says.

“You really helped me back then,” I admit. “I was so hungry. Dad had just overdosed, and Mom didn’t give a flying fuck, and I was so hungry.”