Page 50 of Hexual Healing
“Progress!”Zelda said cheerfully.“Yesterday, you would have set it on fire.”
“Yesterday, Ididset it on fire.”
“Exactly.Today it's just torn.That's what I call improvement!”
She positioned me in front of a row of targets.Three scarecrows dressed in what looked like hand-me-downs from a 1980s yard sale.
Where they got so many jelly shoes and legwarmers, I’ll never know.
“Now,” she said, “we're going to practice directional hexing.Aim for the scarecrow on the left.”
I focused, gathering my magic, trying to push it toward the left scarecrow.I released the hex and…
The lower half of the scarecrow on the right exploded into candy like a busted piñata.The middle one started dancing the tango with a six-foot-tall weed.The one on the left, the one I was aiming at, remained completely untouched.
“Interesting,” Zelda made a note.“Your magic seems to go everywhereexceptwhere you aim.”
“I could have told you that.”
“Then we'll use it to our advantage.Aim for the right scarecrow.”
I aimed right.The left scarecrow vaporized.A nanosecond after the blast hit, there wasn’t a single speck left.It was like he’d never existed at all.
“Pattern confirmed,” Zelda said.“Your magic’s contrarian.”
“My magic’s a raging asshole.No, the hemorrhoidonthe asshole.”
“Your magic isunique.We just need to learn its language.”
For the next two hours, we practiced reverse aiming.If I wanted to hit something, I aimed in the opposite direction.It worked about sixty percent of the time, which was better than my usual zero percent.
“Now let's try emotional hexing,” Zelda announced.
“That sounds dangerous.”
“Everything you do is dangerous.Might as well make it useful.”
She had townspeople volunteer as “emotional targets.”They stood in a line, each holding a sign with an emotion written on it: HAPPY, SAD, ANGRY, AFRAID, LOVED.
“Transform their signs based on the emotion,” Zelda instructed.
I looked at the HAPPY sign and tried to focus on happiness.I smiled, thinking about what made me happy.As soon as I pictured Baz, the curse sent its stupid shooting pains again.My magic reacted since I was midcast.Which resulted in the sign snapping itself in half and falling to the ground.
“Ooookay.So, happiness is…complicated,” Zelda said.“Try anger.”
Anger was easier.The curse didn't mind anger.The ANGRY sign transformed into a tiny thundercloud that rained miniature lightning bolts.
“Good!Now sadness.”
The SAD sign became a puddle that reflected memories of better times.Everyone who looked at it teared up a little.
“Fear?”
The AFRAID sign crumpled itself into a teeny, tiny ball and blew away.We watched it disappear into the forest.
“That's…actually appropriate,” Zelda said.“Now try love.”
I looked at the LOVE sign.The curse went ballistic, sending waves of pure agony through me.My magic exploded outward, and suddenly, everything anywhere, even remotely near me, was covered in roses.Real roses.Rosa multiflora, with big-ass thorns…and lots of ’em.