Page 22 of Hexual Healing
“I can spontaneously redecorate a room in a rainbow color scheme, start random fires, create butterflies out of nowhere.And don’t forget the walking furniture.Sooooo super helpful!”
“It's a start.”
I laughed.I couldn't help it.The situation was so insane that laughing was the only reasonable response.
The house seemed to like my laugh.The walls brightened, the stars in the ceiling twinkled harder, and the butterflies finally released Gary, depositing him gently on a pillow that materialized just in the nick of time.
“I hate everything,” Gary announced.
“No, you don't,” I said.
“No,” he agreed.“But I strongly dislike butterflies now.”
One landed on his shell.He made stank eye, or should I say, stank eye stalk, at it until it turned into a tiny glimmering gold flower.Gary’s attitude immediately changed.The little shit was always forcing me to pimp out his shell.Maybe these butterflies could come in handy and save me a lot of money on sequins and nail decorations.I’d already spent countless hours this year applying them to him.Though, the themed nights were fun.Especially Halloween.
“Your magic's evolving,” Baz observed.
He was right.I could feel it, shifting and changing inside me like a living thing.The curse had made it stronger, but also wilder.More unpredictable.More…mine.
“We should evacuate the town,” I said.“Before Illanya comes back.”
“The town won't evacuate.This is Assjacket.We don't run from dragons.”
“You've had dragons before?”
“We've had worse.”
I wanted to ask what could possibly be worse than a spurned dragon ex-girlfriend with a grudge, but the house interrupted with an urgent creak.
We all looked toward the door.
A figure stood in the opening, silhouetted by the setting sun.
Not Illanya.
Someone else.
Someone wearing a delivery uniform and looking very confused.
“Uh,” the delivery guy said, taking in the rainbow furniture, the butterflies, the blood, and the general chaos.“Pizza for…Baz?”
We all stared at him.
“You ordered pizza?”I asked Baz.
“Nope.Haven’t really had the time with all the…” He gestured at everything.
The delivery guy held out the box like a shield.“It's probably cold.”
The house, apparently offended by cold pizza, immediately surrounded the box with a warm, golden glow.Steam rose from the cardboard.
“Your house reheats pizza?”Gary asked.
“I guess it does now,” Baz said.
The delivery guy set the pizza down and backed away.“I'm going to…go.Please don't hex me.”
“We wouldn't…” I started.