Page 33 of Hexual Healing
“You must be Tansy,” she said, stepping carefully over the threshold.The house immediately tried to trip her, but she sidestepped without looking down.“I'm Zelda.Baz called me about your…situation.”
“He did?”
She nodded while looking around, taking in the butterflies, the rainbow furniture, and Baz's still-persistent wardrobe malfunction.“I see the reports may have been a tad understated.”
“Reports?”
“The whole town felt your magical explosion yesterday.We've been taking bets on what caused it.”She pulled out a small notebook.“Current leading theory is 'sex accident.'Was it a sex accident?”
“No!”I said at the same time Baz said, “Not yet.”
We stared at each other.The butterflies formed a heart.The house purred louder.
Zelda made a note.“Interesting.Your magic’s showing signs of…” She paused, squinting at me.“Oh.Oh my.That's a mate bond trying to form.And you're fighting it?”
“There's a curse,” I explained.
“And that curse will try to kill him,” she finished.“This is fascinating.I've never seen chaos magic this powerful trying to override a dragon curse while simultaneously attempting to force a mate bond.You're like a magical tornado having an argument with itself.”
“That's…actually eerily accurate.”
She smiled.“I've seen damn near everything.Well, almost everything.This is new.”She gestured at the coffee-table-centaur, which had come over to investigate and was now nuzzling her leg.“Is thissupposedto exist?”
“Nothing I create is supposed to exist,” I admitted.“It justdoes.”
“Brilliant.”She looked genuinely delighted.“You're a walking impossibility.No wonder your mate bond’s forming so aggressively.Magic often seeks its opposite for balance.And Baz here is about as steady as they come.”
“I'm right here,” Baz pointed out.
“Yes, dear, and you're shirtless.We all noticed.You can put it away now.I’m taken, big boy.”She winked, then turned her attention back to me.“Now, about this dragon problem.Illanya, was it?”
“You know her?”
“I knowofher.She's given you twenty-four hours, right?”
“Less than twenty now.”
“Hmm, we'll need the whole town.Dragons respect shows of force.If she sees you have a community backing you?—”
“She'll burn everyone.Everything.I can't ask people to…” My voice petered off into nothing.
“You're not asking.We're volunteering.”She looked up from her notes.“This is Assjacket.We protect our own.”
“I've been here for a week!”
“And in that week, you've brought more excitement than we've had in years.Mrs.Henderson's chickens turned into tiny dinosaurs yesterday thanks to your magical overflow.They're adorable.She's keeping them.”
“I, what?”
“Your magic doesn't just affect things near you,” Zelda explained.“It ripples out.The whole town's been getting…interesting since you arrived.In a good way.Except for the dragons.It’s like you’re a magnet or something.”She chuckled.
“I guess I have dragons on the brain for some silly reason.”I laughed along with her until I realized something.“Wait, I've been accidentally hexing an entire town?”
“More like…blessing it with uncertainty.”She smiled.“You're the best thing to happen to us in weeks, months, even.So,” Zelda continued, “here's what we're going to do.First, we need to stabilize your magic.Second, we need to prepare the town for dragon battle.And third…” She looked between Baz and me.“You two need to figure out what you're doing about that mate bond before it completes itself without your permission.”
“It can do that?”
“Oh yes.Chaos magic doesn't ask permission.It just does what it thinks is best.”She gestured at Baz, whose persistent nakedness problem had ramped up a bit.“Case in point.”