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HAWK

The next morning when I wake, it’s to a cold, empty bed and the sound of my phone ringing. Jake’s name flashes on the screen. “Yeah.” I answer.

“Where the fuck are you? Pres has been calling all over for you.”

“The fuck? Why?” I ask wiping the sleep from my face.

“It’s Nate.” Jake says, sounding unsure. “He’s dead, Hawk.”

I’m up, grabbing my jeans and pulling them on, scrambling around to grab the rest of my things. “How? Who?”

“No one, brother. He just … died. Prospect found him in his bed unresponsive.”

A cold chill skitters across my spine.

“Did anyone go down there to check on him last night?” I ask through gritted teeth.

I grab my shirt and cut, throwing them on. Shoving my feet in my socks and boots, lacing them up, I’m on the move, heading toward the kitchen on the hunt for Sadie. I don’t know the whole story, but Jake’s right, we need to get moving. But as soon as I get to the living room, I feel it. A cold sense of dread.

Something’s wrong.

Sadie’s standing behind the counter, already dressed and ready to go with a cup of hot coffee in her hand. She’s not looking at me. Her eyes are glued to her phone. Her face scrunched in a cute scowl as she reads whatever is on her little screen. She’s so invested in whatever it is, she doesn’t hear my boots as I come into the room.

“What do we know about how he died? When’s the last time someone saw him alive?” Saide’s eyes snap to mine, both her eyebrows raised with a question,

“Last night. Trevor took Nate dinner at around six and then no one else went down there. There was no reason to. None of us were alerted by the alarm system. Were you?”

“No.”

Sadie goes back to typing something out, still focused on her cell phone. It’s a little strange for her to not be grilling me with questions, as nosy as she usually is, but maybe she’s still in her head about what happened here last night. Hell, I’m still trying to process through it all. How am I going to tell the guys I’ve claimed her? Will Mack even give me his blessing? Not that he’s her father, but he’s damn near raised her, her whole fucking life, so if he said no, I would at least pretend to take his feelings into account.

“Avery’s a little freaked out. I had her text Sadie to come sit with her while we hold church. She said she was at home but would head this way.” I nod though he can’t see me, because that would make sense. Sadie and Avery are thick as thieves. If she knows Avery needs her, Sadie is probably reassuring her that she’s on her way.

“I’m headed that way now.” I tell him before hanging up. “Sadie.”

Her eyes snap to mine. She closes down her phone putting in her back pocket, reaching for her keys. There’s something off with her.

She’s probably freaking out. You claimed her last night, idiot.

We need to have a discussion about what happened between us, but I don’t have the time right now I need to get to the clubhouse and find out what the actual fuck happened with Nate. He was fine yesterday so far as I know. No one said anything about him being sick or looking like he was struggling.

His bullet wound has already been cleaned and handled. He was on antibiotics and Pres was even nice enough to get him pain meds to keep him sleeping while we figured out our next move. It was always the plan to kill him, slowly. We still needed information from him about the Devils and what they’re up to. I have no doubt he was part of their drugging and trafficking bullshit. So long as he was getting his own stash of drugs and his piece of the payout, he would do anything for anyone. Loyalty means dick to him.

We already know they’re working with dirty cops and social workers. That shithead Swanson proved that when he tried to snatch up Carter. But the part Nate actually played, and the Devils’ next moves are things we hadn’t been able to pull from him yet.

I wanted to kill him the moment I saw him, but Pres thought making him believe we were going to give him a little time to recoup, and recover would improve our chances of getting him to talk. More than anything, it was for our own sanity’s sake that Gabe waited. He wanted to fuck with Nate’s head. Make him wait out his punishment. In truth he owes a debt for so many things - theft, dead family members, abuse- his death almost seems too simple. He deserved to suffer for all of it.

And now he won’t pay for any of it.

His own body giving out? It’s too fucking good for him.

Fucking pathetic.

“Babe.” I take two steps until I’m invading Sadie’s space. She’s furiously typing something on her phone again when her eyes snap to mine. Gripping the phone, I set it on the counter face down beside her, moving in closer, pressing my chest to hers.

“Hey.” She says, her voice breathy, hesitant. The mix of emotions staring back at me is too much to decipher. She looks at me as if I’m a puzzle to be solved. “Are you good?”

I shrug. “It is what it is.” She bristles at my bluntness, but what else can I say? Am I glad he’s dead? Yes. The asshole never deserved to breathe the same air as the rest of us, not after what he did. Do I wish he would’ve suffered more? Fuck yes. But the decision has been taken out of my hands, and I’ll have to live with it. What other choice is there?

“Are you okay, babe?” I ask, my voice sharp, even to my own ears. I can see her withdrawing from me. Her shields coming up gradually between us. And I’m not having it.

Sadie bristles, her eyes narrowed.

“Fine.”

Oh shit.

I can’t deal with this right now. I really need to get moving.

Scrubbing a hand down my face, I try to find the right words to say. None of this is her fault, and I should be treading lightly after everything that happened last night. Things are still new, and this shit with the club is a completely separate matter, but I can’t think clearly enough to make things better. I need to get on my bike and get my ass to the club. Pres needs me. The club needs me.

“We need to get to the clubhouse.” I tell her flatly.

Real smooth, dickhead.

She nods, hurt flashing momentarily in her eyes. My own narrow on hers, searching for any sign of what she’s thinking. Knowing she’s just going to deflect if I push her now, I take a different approach. Cupping her face in my hands, I take her mouth with mine.

Sadie’s soft, and sweet. A mix of fire and ice, all wrapped into one. She makes me feel things I don’t understand, or know if I should want, but I can’t focus on all of that now.

The kiss is slow at first as I coax her with my tongue to open to me, let me in. When I run my tongue along the seem of her lips a second time, she caves, giving me full access to explore her mouth. Our tongues twist, and tangle, tasting and exploring each other. When I feel her melt into me, letting her body go lax in my hold, I pull back. As much as I would love nothing more than to bury myself balls deep, and explore her gorgeous body, to forget the world around us, now is not the time.

“There. That’s better.” I kiss her nose, and she graces me with a sweet smile. I love seeing her like this. Relaxed and unguarded. “Come on. We need to get to the clubhouse. Pres needs me and it sounds like Avery could use your special brand of chaos to keep her calm.”

Sadie smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “I’ll follow you in Loretta. If you’re going to be in church all day, I’ll need my car. I have some errands I’ll need to run later.”

I’d rather have Sadie on the back of my bike, but that’s a big step for her, and I’m not sure she’s ready to accept what that would mean. She’s ridden on the back of Jake and Mack’s bikes, but it’s not the same. Riding on the back of mine would be making a statement. We need to talk and set shit straight first. She has to be willing to accept what it means to be mine.

If I’m completely honest, it’s better she doesn’t ride with me. I need to open the throttle and let the wind carry my worries away because I won’t be able to go into the clubhouse feeling like this. Out of sorts.

Calm. Cool. Carefree.

That’s what the club needs form me. If I let on that I’m feeling anything other than I don’t fucking care, Pres will put a prospect on me. He did it the night we brought the fucker into the basement after I shot him. I grabbed a bottle of whiskey and got trashed. Even ended up in bed with a club whore. Thankfully, the last thing I remember about that night was that I wrapped my dick.

I never get trashed like that and it must’ve rocked the guys, because I had a prospect following at a distance for the next twenty-four hours making sure I didn’t get trashed and try to drive or worse, go visit Nate alone.

“Come on, babe. Let’s go.” Taking her hand in mine. Her hold is stiff, so I give her a little squeeze and lead her out of the kitchen. She grabs her backpack and phone on the way to the garage. When we get out the door, she presses the button opening the roll-up door revealing my bike in all it’s beautiful glory.

That’s what I need.

I walk Sadie to her car, open the door and kiss her on the forehead before ushering her inside and closing her in. As soon as she’s settled and has Loretta started up, I hop on my bike, put on my helmet and rev the engine. Moving my bike out of her way, I let her pull out first. S soon as she’s clear, I pull out and take off down the road, passing her up knowing she’ll keep up.