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SADIE

The clanking sound of the dishes Marta is carrying as she comes into the room wakes me from a restless sleep. My stomach turns at the thought of eating anything, and the smell of toast and eggs isn’t helping the situation.

“Marta?” I’m not sure she can hear my muffled words with my head under the pillow, but I’m not ready to face the sunlight creeping into the room.

“Yes, sweet girl.”

“I appreciate the breakfast in bed, but I don’t think I can eat it right now.” I whine. My head is still a little foggy, but it’s mostly my stomach that’s protesting this morning.

“You will eat. Mr. Parisi demands it. He says you need your strength and to get dressed. They’re all waiting to talk to you.”

“They’re all?” I toss the pillow and sit up straight. “Who are, they?”

“That would be Vincenzo, Matteo, and your hot biker friend in the room down the hall. Though, I’m sure you have a little time before they get downstairs. They’re probably going to take turns punching each other or having some other type of pissing contest before they leave that room, I’m sure.”

“You’re Emelia.” I remember seeing her once at Vincenzo’s home in Oakridge. It was only for a split second, but I found her information in Tate’s files when I was digging for the information on the foster home Carter was sent to. She was the one who helped get Violet and Carter away from the abusive asshole Violet was once married to.

“I am. You’re one of the club girls.” She says. “The club Violet’s boyfriend belongs to, right?”

I frown. “I am not a club girl, but I’m assuming you don’t know much about the actual club outside of Declan’s membership, so I’ll let the insult slide.”

Emelia looks genuinely apologetic. “I’m sorry. I meant no disrespect. It’s like you said, I don’t know much about your club. The only bikers I know about are the ones who beat the shit out of me for doing my job and helping people.”

“The Devils beat you up?”

“It’s not important. I’m safe now. And so are you. Are you feeling better?” She asks, approaching the bed and taking a seat beside me on the edge.

“The headache is minimal now, down to a dull throb rather than an intense roar. My stomach is still a little on the queasy side.”

“Eat the toast. It will help.” She says smiling. Marta hands me a piece of toast on a plate and nods for me to eat it. “Do you remember anything about last night? They said you were found in your bra and panties extremely disoriented. Do you know if…what I mean is do you remember if anyone…?”

“I wasn’t raped if that’s your concern.” I answer angrily. “No one touched me. I just got too hot, nauseated, and my clothes felt restrictive. I couldn’t breathe.” She nods but says nothing judgmental about my crazy behavior.

“Do you know who gave you the drink?”

“Sergio brought me and Matteo our drinks to the table. I assume he got it from one of his men stationed at the bar.” I saw two of Matteo’s soldiers planted near the bar earlier in the evening attempting to blend in.

Were they there when I came out? I can’t remember.

“And when the shots were fired? Were you hurt? Any other wounds I need to know about?” She approaches me gently, as if she’s trying to soothe a scared animal.

“If you want to examine me, just say so. I’m not hurt. I’m angry and fucking hungover, but I’m also not afraid. So, if you want to check me out, it’s fine. But the other guy already did an exam and stuck a fucking needle in my arm. So, if you could avoid sticking me with any sharp objects, I’d appreciate it. If I’m going to get poked from here on out, I’d prefer it be for pleasure rather than medicinal purposes.”

She smiles, placing her hands in the air palms up between us. “I’m not going to hurt you, and I’m sorry, but I’m not going to bring you any sort of pleasurable pain either.” Her words are playful, but her eyes tell of her discomfort and worry. She exhales deeply. “I’m sorry. I’m used to dealing with woman who have been abused or raped after being drugged. I’m not used to one waking up so …”

“Pissed off, annoyed, and ready to gut someone.” I tease. “Weirdly enough, I’m feeling a little horny too. Is that a side effect to the drugs?”

She laughs. “Not one that I’m aware of.” She reaches for the bottle of pain pills beside the bed and checks the label. “You can use these for now, but only if you really need them. These can make you drowsy and slow your reflexes which may make it difficult for you to exercise your need to gut someone.” She glances my way with a mischievous grin. “I assume you’ll want your wits about you.”

It's my turn to smile. “I can handle myself. Sergio made sure of that.” I suddenly remember and need to know, “Where is Sergio? What happened to him? He never lets me too far out of his sight, but when I came out of the bathroom he wasn’t there.”

“He was hurt.” She says, looking around the room, where Marta shakes her head quietly.

“You shouldn’t share the boss’s business with outsiders.” Marta warns.

“Sadie is not an outsider. She deserves to know what happened to her guard.” Emelia replies harshly.

“I wasn’t talking about her. She is not an outsider. She has become family to Mr. Parisi.” She huffs. “But you…I do not know you, except that you came here, and trouble followed you.”

Marta grabs her tray, leaving only the toast and water behind mumbling something in Italian as she exits the room.

“What was she talking about?” I ask, because I’ve never known Marta to be so harsh toward anyone. She’s a smartass to Sergio and will give me shit from time to time whenever Matteo isn’t around to hear it, but she’s never harsh. “What trouble are you in?”

Emelia shrugs. “The kind that starts with arrogant Italian men who think they can own people and force them to bend to their will because they have beautiful eyes, a nice smile, and a body made for sin. Unfortunately, what they all lack is a sense of humor, and a willingness to see anyone else’s point of view or desires as important.”

“You sure you aren’t talking about bikers, because you just described most of the men in my life, save the Italian part. Although, I seemed to have picked up a few strays here lately that fit that description.”

We both laugh, but it’s short lived when we hear Matteo enter the room, clearing his throat.

“Strays, Dolcezza? Do I know these men? Should I have a word with them? Or perhaps I should tell the boss of your dilemma and have him deal with it for you?” He taunts. The big ass.

“What dilemma are we discussing?” Vincenzo slides past Matteo into the room forcing us both to jump at the sound of his voice.

“Jesus! Where a bell for fuck’s sake! Stop sneaking around all the damn time.” I snap.

“It’s hardly sneaking when I own the home.”

“Dolcezza, do we need to have another discussion about swearing?” Matteo gives me his stern glare.

“If I’d known you were eaves dropping…”

“She still would have said it.” Hawk says making his way into the room.

How the hell?

My heart rate picks up and I find myself rooted to the floor.

I thought I imagined him. I saw him, smelled his jacket, but I thought it was all a hallucination. Why would he have been there? And with that bitch agent?

“Hmm. Seems you’re not too happy to see our guest, Miss Jenkins.” Vincenzo announces. “I thought you would be happy to see your man alive after everything that happened last night.”

“You were shot? That really happened?” I ask, my question directed at Hawk.

He gives a curt nod, then crosses his arms over his chest. He winces slightly as he takes his new stance, but I saw it. He’s in pain.

“I’m fine. A little banged up and bruised, but I’ll heal.”

Wait.

“Did you just say Hawk is my man?” I turn to Vincenzo who smirks, giving a subtle shrug of his shoulder.

“According to Mr. Hawkins, you two are in a relationship.”

“We’re what now?” I don’t take my eyes off Hawk. Hearing he would tell them such a thing makes my stomach flutter, but I’m not a foolish girl. He would’ve told them anything if it meant they’d bring him to me, especially since he hasn’t been able to track my ass down this time.

“I believe he called you, his woman.” Matteo corrects. “I was shocked to hear it myself, Dolcezza.” Matteo sounds almost disappointed. “You never mentioned you were in a relationship when you asked me to be your Dom and introduce you to the lifestyle. We didn’t have a traditional contract, and I’m not typically known to share, but I would’ve liked to have known that there was another man in your life. It would’ve changed the dynamic, but I’m sure we could’ve come to some kind of arrangement.”

“You did what?” Hawk eats up the distance between us bringing himself damn near nose to nose with me. Pointing back at Matteo, he growls angrily, “You asked this motherfucker to be your Dom? As in he’s the Dominant and you’re his submissive? Are you fucking serious right now? How the fuck does you being his submissive and learning about the ‘lifestyle’,” he actually air quotes the word. “How does that play into you getting yourself fucked up, half naked in a room full of creepy ass motherfuckers who were there to buy you and abuse you by the way . All of this is how you planned to find my sister, Sadie? Fucking explain this shit to me because I don’t have a goddamn clue as to how you thought any of this was a grand fucking plan.”

I finally get my feet to move and shove myself chest-to-chest with the cocker asshole who thinks he gets to come in here and push me around, demanding answers.

Hell to the fucking no.

“First of fucking all...” I start shoving my finger in his chest. “You don’t get to come in here and tell me jack shit about anything I’ve chosen to do or why. You told me to leave. You couldn’t see me as your ol’ lady because you can’t trust me.”

“This is why I can’t!” He throws his arms out to his sides. “You pull this kind of shit, getting yourself in a predicament that could not only see you hurt or worse, but it can hurt the club too, Sadie! And you don’t fucking care! You get a hair up your ass and half a hair-brained idea and run with it without considering the consequences.”

“I did consider the consequences you stupid asshat!” I shout. “You think I didn’t consider the consequences? That I didn’t agonize over every fucking detail of this plan before I set anything in motion? You really think I’m that stupid to not weigh out the pros and cons before risking everything and everyone I love? I chose to let you all hate me! I did it so you wouldn’t have to feel the pain of killing your father, though he hardly warrants the title he was still your dad until he left. I couldn’t let you go through that. So, I bartered with Thomas and cut a deal to make him the bad guy and at the same time grant him the revenge he deserved for being tricked into killing Maggie.”

“You believe…” I don’t let him finish that sentence.

“No! You don’t get to speak! You’re going to shut up and listen for once. You said I could tell you anything, so now you’re going to fucking listen and I’ll tell you. Got me?” I don’t give him time to answer and plow through with everything I’ve been wanting to say for the longest fucking time.

“I have loved you since I was a little girl. I knew it was pointless, because you would never see me as anything more than an obligation, a job for the club. Keeping me safe, it was all that mattered. But you were all wrong! I didn’t need any of you to keep me safe. I never needed any of you to fight my fucking battles or clean up my messes, what I needed was for you to see me. Really fucking see me. But you couldn’t. None of you could.”

“When Avery came to me for help, I jumped at the chance to get her out of Eleanor’s grip. I didn’t know everything, but I knew enough. Did any of you consider I was doing exactly what you yourself would’ve done? By fucking with your system, yeah, I found your weak spot and exposed it, but I also gave Avery her freedom and eventually her family back. All you cared about was I broke through your precious security system. But if the roles were reversed, you know damn well you would’ve done the same fucking thing.”

“You helped her sneak out of the Oasis and she was nearly fucking killed. Hell, she was shot in the shoulder, Sadie! Because you were reckless and sent her to meet Thomas!” He argues.

“I also put a fucking tracker on her. My tracker. I knew I could find her wherever she went and because of her bracelet, the club was able to find her and bring her home safely. Without it, she may not have made it out alive.”

“She wouldn’t have been there in the first place, with or without the tracker if you’d just fucking listened to Pres.” He screams in my face.

“And let everyone continue to lie to her about who she is and who her mother was?” I ask rhetorically. “Everyone, including Gabe had been lying to her, her entire life. Forgive me if I wanted her to find closure about the situation that none of you were willing to give her.”

“It was club business, Sadie! What don’t you understand about that?”

“Oh, I understand plenty. It’s why I chose to do what I’ve done.” I stand back, tears now streaming down my cheeks, but I don’t care. He needs to know. To understand why I’ve done what I’ve done.

“All of this is because of club business, you arrogant ass.” His brow creases. “The Devils work for Cusenza, who was doing Eleanor’s bidding when he sent them to kill Maggie. So, Gabe made his deal with Russ to keep Avery alive and off the Devils’ radar. But he put her in an even worse situation, to keep his secret and keep the club from going to war. Then the Devils came after Skyler, but not before she sacrificed everything for Ethan and the club. And now your sister is being held somewhere in one of these transition homes owned by the Devils, probably being used and abused all because Nate was keeping secrets himself. He was the informant to the Feds, and the one who was helping Trident intercept the shipments of women before Vincenzo got involved. But he never told the Devils about his son. You were his secret club business. He kept you and your mother safe, sacrificing your sister instead.” I wipe the tears angrily off my cheeks. Hating that I’m a blubbering mess, but I’m too far into this now and he needs to know everything.

“I did what I had to, to set shit straight. I went to Vincenzo and partnered with him to take down Cusenza and the Devils and their trafficking ring, with the promise that he would help me free your sister and bring her back to you so you could help her heal.” I’m close to sobbing. I can feel my knees about to give way.

“I allowed you and the club to believe I was a traitor, to shove me aside, so I could be free to find Shea and set her free from whatever hell they’ve put her through. To end the secrets and the lies that have been the foundation of this club. I never wanted to lose you or the club’s trust, but since I never had it to begin with, it seemed easy enough to do.” I sigh. “I was wrong. But it’s too late now.”

“So, your plan in all of this,” Hawk waves his hand around the room motioning to Vincenzo and Matteo who have been eerily silent this whole time. “Was to what? Pose as Matteo’s sub and get yourself trafficked in hopes of finding my sister? All this nearly got you kidnapped, and fuck knows what else, when you could’ve come to Pres and told him what you know and let us fucking handle it and you never would’ve had to lose anyone’s trust!” He yells, stepping into me.

I see Matteo move. Before Hawk has a clue, what’s happening, Matteo has put himself between us, pushing me back behind his broad body. “I’ve had enough of you getting in her face and shouting at her. If this is how you speak to your woman, then perhaps you don’t deserve to have her after all.”

It’s the first time I’ve heard Matteo sound so angry. If I wasn’t so angry I’d be frightened. “You seem to be missing a lot of the conversation. You’re hyper focused on what matters to you and ignoring what matters to Sadie. I understand now why she would come to me to be her Dom and teach her all the things she wanted to learn about herself. Because she knew you’d never see her as anything more than club business.”

Matteo turns to me, gripping my chin between his fingers. “Go, Dolcezza. Go to the kitchen and eat your breakfast. Emelia, will you accompany her and see to it she eats something, please?” Emelia’s hand rests on my shoulders from behind. I had forgotten she was even in the room.

“And Sadie.” Matteo speaks gently. “We’ll discuss the cussing situation later.” He raises his brow and it’s all I need to let the tension loosen from my shoulders just a little.

“Come on, sweetie.” Emelia says softly. “Let’s go find us a place we can breathe some testosterone free air, shall we?”

I don’t respond but allow her to grip my hand and drag me out of the room.