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28

HAWK

20 minutes ago

I’m sitting in the dining room with Vincenzo and Matteo after Sadie stormed out. I want to go after her and shake her until she sees reason, but instead I’m waiting to discuss the fact she will not go meet with that lunatic Cusenza or be used as fucking bait.

“This is not fucking happening, Parisi. Sadie’s not going to be used as bait. I don’t care what agreement you made with Sadie, that was before she was mine. Being my ol’ lady changes things.”

“I don’t recall being given that bit of information, but regardless, our deal was made before you decided to pull your head out of your ass,” Vincenzo replies.

“The deal is off !”

“Again, you seem to forget your place,” Vincenzo says, glaring at me.

“Hawk is right,” Emelia speaks up.

“It’s not your place to put your two cents in, Gattina. This is a conversation best left to the gentlemen,” Vincenzo snaps.

Emelia leans forward, her hand on the edge of the table. “I would if I saw such a creature before me, but all I see is a stubborn, inconsiderate ass placing his own need for vengeance above another man’s need to keep his woman safe from harm. You want to exploit her, use her, with hopes you’ll be able to save her, but you are not God. You can’t make those types of guarantees.” Emelia isn’t holding anything back and I have to admit, though I admire her fire, I fear for her ass.

Vincenzo slowly rises from his seat, stalking to where Emelia is sitting, getting close to her face and speaking softly to her. Matteo nudges my arm and quietly suggests we leave the room since we probably won’t want to witness his boss’s woman getting fucked within an inch of her life.

Matteo leads me into an office that I assume is where Sadie’s been working, based on the number of screens on the wall and the familiar equipment strewn about the desk. There’s even a stack of Hot Tamales boxes beside the mouse pad and a small Harry Potter Bluetooth speaker that looks like a replica of the golden snitch.

Definitely Sadie’s space.

Matteo wastes no time jumping my case. “If you continue to demand that Sadie do everything you say, you will leave here without her. She isn’t asking permission, nor would she accept it from you.”

“But she will from you —is that it? You brainwashed her into being your perfect little submissive only to throw her to the fucking sharks and watch them eat her alive,” I accuse. “Is that your plan?” I’m still steaming from the fact this asshole agreed to deliver her to Cusenza like a piece of fucking meat he ordered from the market.

Matteo smirks, taking a seat behind Sadie’s desk. In his designer suit, he appears ill at ease and out of place sitting in a red gaming chair. He picks up a box of her cinnamon candies, wrinkling his nose, then puts it back. When he gets to the squishy penis stress toy, he starts to pick it up, but seems to think better of it. I want to laugh or say something smart about it, but he might not give me answers if I do.

“You want to know why Sadie listens to me and not you. That’s your problem with all of this, isn’t it?” The smug bastard asks, leaning back in the chair. He quickly sits back up and readjusts by pulling and tossing the lower lumbar pillow onto the floor like it’s offended him.

“It’s one of my issues, yes. But mostly I want to know why you and your boss think it’s such a grand plan to hand her over to Cusenza and use her as bait? What the hell are you going to gain out of getting her raped and killed?” The words come out tight through my gritted teeth.

“Let’s unpack this one step at a time,” Matteo says smoothly, steepling his fingers. “First, remember Sadie came to us . She’s the one who linked the traffickers to Avery’s grandmother and then to Marco Cusenza. She was also the one to uncover the foster care homes and the connections to the Devils. But I’m sure you know all of this, since she sent you copies of everything she’s found so far.” He smirks.

“Why didn’t you stop her if you knew she was leaking information?” It’s true Sadie’s been feeding me information, but she left out the part about Eleanor being linked to the trafficking ring. Pres would definitely want to know about her involvement. We knew Elenor and Cusenza had a kid they put up for adoption and about the deal she had made with Kyle Whittmore for Avery’s hand in marriage to gain her inheritance. We didn’t find any connection to the trafficking shit.

“There’s nothing Sadie does in my home that I am not aware of. The difference between you and me is I don’t question her actions. I try to understand them.” Matteo shrugs his shoulder. I’m not surprised to find hidden cameras in every room. It’s what I would do if I were him.

“What the hell does that even mean, Matteo? I understand why she does the shit she does. I question it because she’s fucking reckless.”

“Then you don’t understand why she does what she does,” he says. “Sadie sent you those files, not because she was worried the club would get involved with the boss’s plans, but because she thought Trident was playing both sides. She was concerned about you and the people she calls family . She was protecting you. I passed the information on to Vincenzo, who used what she found to convince you to help weed out the mole on the Fed’s side of things.”

“Did Sadie know you were going to use me to do your bidding with Agent Galina?” I ask, curious.

“No. We never told her about your involvement. During the gala was the first time she learned about you and Agent Galina.” He chuckles softly. “She was jealous as hell when we got into the limo to come home that night. Even threw a knife at Sergio—a warning shot, according to her—for teasing her about it.”

I can’t help but laugh at that. “Sadie isn’t fragile like a flower, she’s more the fragile like a bomb type.”

“Yes. But the proper tools can tame her.” That has my hackles raised. If he tells me he fucked her into submission, the way I’m sure Vincenzo is doing to Emelia, I’m going to gut him right here in this office with a letter opener and I won’t give two fucks about the blowback.

In a stern effort to keep control of myself, I choose not to respond. Though I doubt Matteo doesn’t see the effects his words have on me. It was his sole intention. But he doesn’t stop there. His next question pushes me even harder.

“Tell me, Hawk. What are your intensions with Miss Jenkins?”

What the fuck does it matter to him?

“Sadie’s mine,” I state firmly.

“Hmm. Yes, so you’ve said. A man’s proclamation of a woman being his means shit to me.” His smug expression turns to one of seriousness and severity. “A man can claim anything to be his, but if he claims a woman and doesn’t truly possess her heart, his words mean shit.”

“You don’t think I can win Sadie’s heart?” I ask, not sure I want the answer he’s about to give.

“I think you had her heart, and you broke it in a matter of minutes when you wouldn’t listen to her explanation about Thomas. But it was your words that shattered her the most. You see, Sadie craves praise —to feel appreciated, respected, loved. It speaks to her soul in a way nothing else can. So, every time you tell her she’s stupid, reckless, untrustworthy, disloyal—she takes it to heart. Affirmation can work both ways in a person’s life. Especially from someone she loves,” he explains. “You can either affirm a person with encouragement and praise—or you can affirm the worst things they already believe about themselves, making the lies they tell themselves true.”

Fuck.

His words hit a place deep in my chest and I find myself wishing one of those bullets had penetrated the Kevlar. I fucking deserve it. If what he’s saying is true, I’m going to have my work cut out for me to earn her trust again.

“I didn’t force Sadie’s submission,” Matteo says. His words bringing me back to the moment. “She willingly gave it to me because she trusts me not to hurt her or take advantage of her vulnerable state. She felt free to be herself and let down her guard with me because I built that trust with her. Proved to her she could relinquish control, even if only for a little while, and I would take care of her in whatever way she needed without judgment or rejection.”

“What do you mean? She let you control what, exactly?” I’m mentally preparing myself for the worst, to hear that she let him give her body pleasure and told him all her darkest secrets, things that are meant to be shared with only me.

“Sadie needs someone with a firm hand who will step in when things become overwhelming,” he says.

“I’ve tried. All it does is piss her off.” Matteo laughs at my words.

“No. What you and your friends have done is demand she do as you say without bothering to give her what she needs.” It’s my turn to raise a questioning brow. He’s not making sense.

Matteo sighs. “Sadie carries the weight of the world, or the club rather, on her shoulders.”

“That’s the Pres’s job. Not hers.”

Matteo shakes his head at me.

“Yes, but he doesn’t carry the same burdens she does.” I gesture with my hand for him to go on, because I still don’t get what he’s saying. “Sadie feels responsible for all the wrongs her father committed against the club. She feels like she must prove herself worthy to everyone because she shares the blood of a traitor.”

“That makes no sense. She’s not to blame for his bullshit! We don’t determine who we share blood with.” Frustrated, I scrub both hands through my hair.

“She doesn’t see things that way. She sees how the man who fathered her hurt the people who raised her, the people she cares about most. Her grandparents, her aunt and uncle, her mother, friends … you .” His words cause a pit to form in my stomach as he continues. “He forced the hand of these people. They stepped in to raise her, teach her, love her. But she is a product of the man responsible for causing death and destruction, family separations. Her mission is to bring everyone home. To put things back in order and restore the family. Whatever the cost.”

Son of a bitch.

“Why did she never tell me she felt this way? I would’ve set her straight about everything.” The weight of his words sitting firmly on my chest. She’s been hurting all this time. And I never fucking knew .

“Because you carry your own burden of guilt from your own father. You wouldn’t have heard her. You would’ve told her what she felt was bullshit and dismissed it as done. The same way Gabriel has done for you in the past.”

Okay, so he’s not totally wrong. I probably would’ve. But he doesn’t understand. It was my father who convinced hers to betray the club. If anyone should feel the burden of guilt, it’s me.

“Sadie took on the club’s secrets and problems and began trying to uncover and mend them all. In the process, she stopped taking care of herself, pushing her own needs aside. I believe she thought you would eventually come around, and when that didn’t happen, she sought help elsewhere.”

“Meaning she came to you and Vincenzo.”

He nods. “At first it was to pitch her snitch program, seeking a business partnership. Someone who would let her create and run the business her way. A silent partner of sorts. But as things unfolded with the club, her need for our help changed. Originally, she was just gathering information for us, and we were steadily making our own plans to dismantle the trafficking ring. Then Avery’s situation opened new information and Sadie became obsessed with finding Eleanor. When the Trident team’s involvement was exposed …”

“Sadie cracked into their system and went down another rabbit trail of information.” I finish for him. I can see the dots connecting as he speaks.

“It was when she discovered you had a sister that her newest plan was formed. We didn’t want to go along with her idea of using herself as bait, but there was no turning back. If we didn’t help her, she would find a way to do it herself. She’s quite stubborn.”

“Yeah, no shit.” I agree.

“Sadie is afraid and feels unwanted and unloved. Like she’s an obligation more so than a family member. She loves you all very much, some more than others.” He holds my glare. “She deserves to know the truth about who she is—and what she means to you most of all. If you want to lay claim on her as your woman, you’ll need to earn her trust. And if you want to keep her safe, you’ll need to earn her submission. She’s not going to change her mind about getting into that compound, but she might change her mind about being more careful and making it out alive.”

“She was going to sacrifice herself?” I shake my head. “Not happening.”

“If she believed your sister’s life would be saved by sacrificing herself, we both know Sadie would do it. Especially if she believes no one will be waiting for her when she comes back,” Matteo says. “But just so you know. We would never allow her to sacrifice herself.”

“Nope. Sadie not coming out alive is not an option.” I turn on my heels and sprint out the door, storming through the hall until I hear Sadie shouting at Avery. I push the door open and watch as Sadie paces the room, her eyes glassy and her shoulders so tense they’re up near her ears.

She really is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders—literally.

Avery announces loudly, “You’re on speaker, Sadie. Say that again.”

Sadie repeats herself. I’m ready to jump Jake’s ass for the way he shouts at Sadie over the phone.

“Where the fuck are you and where’s Hawk? I want to talk to him. No. Actually, make him call Pres. Fucking now, Sadie. Pres is ready to rain hell down on the Parisis. Backlash be damned! And we are in no way equipped to take on a fucking Mafia Kingpin!” he roars.

Shit. I forgot to call Pres in all the commotion.

“Okay. Okay. Calm down.” Jake can handle his shit, but right now it’s Sadie who needs to calm down. I stalk toward her as she paces, her eyes meeting mine. “Hold on, Jake. He’s right here.”

As I get closer, she softly says, “You need to tell Jake you’re okay. Gabe is about to go to war with Vincenzo if you don’t.”

“I’m here, brother. Put Pres on the call. I’ll wait.” Sadie turns to leave the room, but I call out and halt her movements. “Don’t you move another fucking inch. You stay right here where I can see you. We have shit to discuss as soon as I’m off this phone.”

Her shoulders stiffen as she scowls at me, pissed and looking for a fight. As soon as I’m off this phone, I’ll let her get everything she needs to off her chest, and then I’m going to set the fucking record straight. I eat up the space between us, gripping her hand in mine. “Sapphire. Stay. Please.”