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HAWK

I saw the minute Sadie left the clubhouse. I almost followed her out to the lot and cornered her then but decided to wait. Skyler said Sadie went home because she was feeling sick. I call bullshit. I know Sadie. She seemed fine until Vincenzo and that asshole went over to talk to her. Did he do something to upset her?

Maybe Matteo finally put an end to their little game.

That would certainly be a relief. I can’t stand seeing them together. There’s just something about the way she backs down and listens when he tells her something. The girl doesn’t listen for shit. She does what she wants, consequences be damned. Hell, she’ll even do it while giving two birds and a smile to anyone who tells her she shouldn’t. It makes me wonder if he’s not blackmailing her.

Sitting on my bike, I let Sadie leave the clubhouse and watch the tracker on Loretta as it blinks on my phone. When she stops at her house and doesn’t leave again after a few minutes, I check her cameras and find her starting a fire in the firepit on her back patio. She hates when I hack into her cameras. It’s become a game for us - to see who can fuck over who when it comes to stalking her. I hack her system, track her phone and her car, because Mack asked me to, of course. And Sadie cuts the trackers off or moves them to some other vehicle. A few times she’s been able to knock me out of her security and camera system. I always get back in and find a way to get the trackers back on Loretta, and the game starts over again.

Once she has the fire lit, she snuggles up in a blanket in a lounge chair. I zoom in and watch as she opens the music app on her phone and selects a playlist. I can’t hear the music, but I know the moment it turns on because she starts to sway a little to the beat. It would seem like a typical night at home for her if it wasn’t for the fact she just took a long drink of whiskey straight out of the bottle.

Now I know something’s up. Tequila is Sadie’s relax and have a good time drink. Margaritas are the girl’s best friend. Whiskey is her I don’t want to feel anything drink. It numbs the pain and shuts her brain off. I know because not only have I heard her say it to Jinx and Avery, but it does the same thing for me.

Starting up my bike, I head out, waving to Mason as I pass through the gate and head her way. I’m still feeling a bit of a buzz, but it’s not from the few beers I had. My head is clear. I know enough to know what I’m about to do is the right thing and has been a long time coming. We need to have a conversation about her and Vincenzo’s second in command and why hse needs to stopping fucking around with him. This shit’s gone on long enough.

Sadie’s house isn’t far from the clubhouse, but I take long way to gather my thoughts, working through what I’ll do when I get there. I don’t know what I’ll say. It’s been a long time since Sadie has confided in me about the things going on in her life and what bothers her. She used to tell me everything, but when I started prospecting, I had to take a step back. By the time I got my patch, Sadie was no longer the little girl who told me all her secrets. She was a woman I wanted to explore from head to toe, but knew I couldn’t have. I wanted her. I’ve always fucking wanted her, but there are so many reasons I shouldn’t.

But you still do.

It’s time she knew.

I’m certain she’s going to tell me to fuck off and try to send me on my way, but I won’t leave. Not until we’re gotten things straight between us. Oh, she’ll argue and have something smart to say. Like always, but I won’t be detoured. I know she wants me. Every time we’re in the same room together everyone can feel the sparks between us. Most people see us and think we fight because we’re too much alike. But I know that’s not it. We argue because we’re both fighting a losing battle, but neither one wants to cave first in case we go up in flames and it all goes to shit. But no more. I’m going to find out what’s got her so upset, find a way to fix it, then I’m going to make her listen to fucking reason.

She’ll fight you. Fight this. Maybe even physically.

My dick jumps and a wicked smile forms at the thought of Sadie trying to spar with me. She’s a sneaky little shit. She trains with Skyler and Anna at the gym regularly, hellbent she won’t ever need a man to save her ass. If she only knew all the times I’ve intercepted her bullshit online and kept her out of fucking jail.

I’ll just have to get a little more creative if I want her to listen. Maybe I’ll make her my captive.

I smile to myself at all the creative ways I can convince her to listen to reason. All of them involving restraints, a gag, and her naked on a bed. My cock throbs at the idea.

I’m always one step ahead, except when she helped Avery, but I wasn’t expecting her to fuck with the West’s. Until recently, most of us didn’t know Russell or Avery had anything to do with the club. Some of us were too young to know, and the old timers kept their secrets to themselves.

I’ve been fighting my feelings for Sadie for a long time now, because she deserves better than the club life. Mack wants her to go to college and find herself a good, safe job and marry someone whose successful and stable. Far away from the bullshit Thomas and Nate’s traitorous actions caused. We all know she feels guilty for who her father is, what he did.

Sound familiar?

I push all thoughts of the bastard in the basement from my mind.

Mack doesn’t seem to be bothered by seeing Sadie with Matteo. Maybe he thinks it’s a good match. Or maybe he doesn’t think it will go anywhere because Sadie is a wild one. She doesn’t like to be held back, told what to do. But there’s something about the way she melts into Matteo’s touch and doesn’t fight him when he calls her on her shit, it’s like a knife twisting in my gut.

She’s not his.

She’s, my Sapphire.

Shit.

I pull into her driveway, parking my bike in front of the first garage door, the one I know Loretta sits behind. I doubt she’d try to run from me, but I know she would never risk running over my bike to escape me. She understands the respect have for my bike. She shares the same love for her Challenger.

I leave my helmet on the handlebars and follow the scent of firewood burning and the soft glow of twinkle lights coming from the side of the house. The porch wraps around the house to the backyard where I find Sadie still cuddled up beside the fire. She hasn’t moved from the spot she was when I checked the cameras only now that I see the bottle, it’s almost half empty.

Did she drink all of that already?

She doesn’t see me, but I know she heard me pull up. She’s got her phone in her hand. Exasperation is written all over her face.

“Do I need to send someone to help you, Dolcezza?” Matteo’s voice comes over the speaker on her phone. “It’s not good for you to be alone when you’re upset like this.”

“No. I’m fine. I’ll be going to bed soon. I’ll check in again in the morning.” Sadie says, her eyes locked on mine.

“Don’t drink anymore tonight. You’ll make yourself sick.” He commands. “Take some pain meds and drink some water before bed.” She nods at everything he’s saying, but her facial expression says she’s not going to do a damn thing he says. I’ve got to admit it makes me happy to know she’s going to defy him.

“Dolcezza?” Matteo questions. “I know this is not the way you wanted things to go, but you have my word, things will be fine. Understand?”

“My feelings were never taken into consideration when I made this decision. It was never about me, Mateo. It’s about what’s right.” Her eyes glass over, and her voice cracks a little more with each word. “I have to go.” She hangs up, does something on her screen, then powers the phone off and tucks it under her blanket.

“Is it every nosy fucker disturb Sadioe night or something? How did I miss the fucking memo?” She says her sarcasm a clear deflection from her pain. I see you, baby. I smile at her and shrug my shoulders.

I move to the other chair and drop down beside her. “Since when have I ever needed an invitation to follow your ass around?”

“Hmmm.” She hums, taking another long swig from the tightly gripped bottle in her hand. “Since you’re a controlling asshole and I came out here specifically to be alone with my bottle and my thoughts.” She shakes the bottle of whiskey. I take the opportunity and snatch it from her hand despite her protest and take a drink. “You’re ruining my alone-ness .” She sasses, drawing her words out a little.

“Sky said you left because you had a migraine, but we both know throwing back whiskey won’t help. Which means you don’t have a migraine. You’re out here hiding from something… or someone.” I raise an accusing brow. She doesn’t argue, but attempts to glare, reaching for the bottle. Shaking my head, I don’t let her have it. “Think you’ve had enough already.”

“What the hell? I just wanted to be alone. Why is that so wrong? You’re all nosy, hard of hearing fucks. The lot of you.” She bitches.

“Give me my bottle back, asshat.” I take another swig and tuck it beside my chair on the ground out of her reach.

“Now, what’s got you out here drinking your sorrows away with half a bottle of whiskey while avoiding everyone?”

She lets out a heavy sigh. “Doesn’t matter.” She slams back in the lounge chair, her indignation pointed at me. When I don’t budge, she huffs, “I’m leaving soon.” Her words are like a slap to the face.

“Say that again.” I demand, working overtime to reign in my agitation, but I know she hears it in my tone anyway. Her eyes widen and her brow creases.

Is she really surprised that I’m pissed about this?

“I’m leaving Oakridge.” She shrugs. “Mack’s getting what he wants. You all are. I will no longer be the club’s obligation. I’m going to go do something with my life away from the club.” There’s a sadness reflecting back at me in her beautiful eyes and all I want is to erase it.

“What are you talking about? Mack doesn’t want you to leave. He just wants you to stop doing dangerous shit and putting yourself and the club at risk.” I reprimand.

She shrugs, picking at the frayed edge of her favorite blanket. Her eyes close and her words drag out slowly again. “Well, maybe it’ll just be for a while. You know? I need to sort through some shit. I can’t think around here.” She looks up at the starry sky. She looks so lost, fragile. I haven’t seen her look like this since we were kids.

“What shit are you sorting through, Sapphire? Maybe I can help. You can talk to me. You used to tell me everything.” I see the small smile grace her lips at the use of her nickname.

“You used to care. Made me feel special. Like I meant something to you.” Her head lolls to the side, her eyes meeting mine. “ People, change.” She whispers, looking away.

“We haven’t changed so much, have we?” I ask, then decide to test the waters a bit. “I mean, you’ve obviously changed.” I let my eyes roam every inch of her body that isn’t covered by the blanket, stopping at her tits, and back up to her mouth. “But it’s not a bad thing, by any means.”

She looks at me, her eyes red, her lip quivering.

That’s it.

“Hey. Come here.” I don’t wait for a response. I stand and lift her into my lap. “Baby, what’s going on? Talk to me.”

Sadie turns her head into my chest, as she lets out a soft sob. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t want to think about it anymore tonight. Please.” She raises her face, the glassy sheen to her eyes and the hurt I see has me concerned. This isn’t like Sadie. She’s usually fire and sass. What I see before me is heartache and vulnerability. It causes a sharp pain in my own chest. I want to take it all away for her. Carry her burden, even if only for a little while. But what can I do if she won’t tell me what’s really got her so messed up?

Sadie sighs, looking back the fire. “No one knows yet. I haven’t told anyone, not even Avery, about my plans. I’ll tell everyone soon enough. Just not yet. Right now, I want to let it all go. Not think about it for a little while.” Sadie’s finger skim along the collar of my black t-shirt, sending small sparks along my skin.

“All right. What do you want to do instead? How can I help?” I ask, clearing my throat, hoping she doesn’t feel my cock swelling beneath her ass.

“Help me not think about it?” Her eyes plead with mine and I almost cave to what we both want. But I can’t. Not like this.

“Your drunk, baby. You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“I’m not drunk, Nathaniel. That bottle was already opened. I’ve had one beer at the clubhouse and two shots since I’ve been home. I was going to drink more, but I heard your bike pulling up.” She drops her chin. “I didn’t want to risk being drunk enough to spill all my secrets.”

I toss my head back and laugh. “Smart girl.”

Sadie smiles a soft smile and shrugs. “I know my limits.” Her eyes darken with need and my resolve slips.

I want nothing more than to test those limits.

I nod, standing to my feet, with Sadie still in my arms. I set her down momentarily to grab the bucket of water she keeps near the pit, pouring it out, dousing the flames. The sizzling sound of water hitting the wood while thick smoke fills the air. After placing the bucket back in its place, I turn to her and brush my finger down her cheek. Sadie leans into my touch, closing her eyes, releasing a sweet humming sound.

“You know I can help you forget about whatever’s got you upset. But you’re going to tell me, eventually.” She eyes me skeptically. “You know what I’m offering?” I ask, inching closer, lowering my voice. “Let me take care of you tonight.” It’s not a question, but it needs to be her choice. Sadie wants to forget, and I know just how to help her relax and let go if she’ll let me. She needs this. Hell, I do too if I’m honest. I’ve needed her for a long time now. I’ve just been too stubborn to admit it.

That changes tonight.

There’s an electrical current pulsing through my veins with each touch of her skin. I’ll lay my claim tonight and we’ll sort this bullshit about her leaving tomorrow. But for now, we both need to have a come to Jesus moment and lay all our bullshit excuses aside.

Sadie’s mine.

We move toward the back door of the house. With my hand on her shoulder, I follow Sadie inside, kicking the door shut and locking it behind me. I pull the blanket from her hands tossing it over the back of the couch as we pass it heading down the hall, toward her room.

Once inside, I close the door and nudge her to stand in the center of the room. “Hands above your head Sapphire.” Sadie shivers at my command and does as I say, slowly. Her eyes track my every move as I circle her body. Her hands rise above her head. Slowly, I inch the soft material of her sweater up, from her knees, over her hips, grazing her skin with my fingers as I go. Her breathing picks up as I rid her of her sweater, dropping it to the floor. Wrapping my arm around her, splaying my hand across the soft skin of her belly, I pull her back against me. Her bare back against my chest as I lay soft kisses on the spot on her neck behind her ear.

I’ve always wondered if she was sensitive there.

The goosebumps covering her skin are my answer. I follow their trail, caressing her arms and bringing them to rest at her sides. “Good girl.” Her breath hitches. It’s a small sound, but I hear it. The rebellious woman likes being praised.

Noted.