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SADIE

I don’t know exactly what happened after we left the island. I know we landed at the harbor and Nora, Hawk, and I were all taken back to Vincenzo’s jet, then brought back to Matteo’s. The entire flight is a blur.

When we arrived at the penthouse, Sergio was waiting for us. He still looks like shit, but apparently when he heard Asha had kidnapped me and shit went sideways on the island, he caused a big enough scene that he got himself released and sent home under Vincenzo’s doctor’s care.

“Hello, sweetheart,” Emelia greets Nora first, though I don’t miss the way she scans over my blood covered clothes. When I shake my head, she returns her focus to Nora. “Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat?”

Nora, who is tightly gripping my hand, looks to me with apprehension. “Go with Emelia. She’s my friend. She’ll get you something to eat and Sergio will stay with you to insure you’re safe while I go get changed.” Nora’s eyes go wide as she looks from him to me. Squatting down so Nora is taller than me, I whisper softly, though still loud enough for Sergio to hear me, “Sergio looks mean, but it’s only because he’s in pain. He’s also my friend. He was hurt trying to protect me from the bad men. I promise he won’t let anyone bother you or make you do anything you don’t want to do. He’s kind of a big softy, but don’t tell him I told you.” Nora gives me a soft smile and nods.

I’ve yet to get her to speak, but Hawk assured me they were doing everything to find her family and get her home where she’ll receive the best care money can buy—courtesy of a very large, brooding Italian boss. I’m pretty sure Emelia had something to do with that decision, but I’m not going to question it. This little girl has been through hell and deserves all the love and protection we can give her.

“Come, little one.” Sergio reaches his hand out but doesn’t move any closer, allowing Nora to make the decision to come to him and trust him. My heart swells when she looks to Hawk for his approval, too. He gives a curt nod then tells her, “I’ll be right here. I’m going to help take care of Sadie, but I won’t be far. If you need me or Sadie, you let Emelia know, and she’ll come get us right away. Okay?” Nora nods, then takes Emelia’s hand in her own before hesitantly gripping Sergio’s.

Emelia smiles, then chats away about all the snacks Marta has packed away in the kitchen, asking what Nora would like and telling her all about the men in suits who are all really big pushovers for pretty girls. I smile when I hear Nora’s tiny giggle.

“Come on, baby. Let’s go get you cleaned up,” Hawk says in my ear. Once we’re alone in my room, it’s like the world stops. My shoulders sag. Tears run freely down my face. My body starts to give out, but Nathaniel is there to catch me. He scoops me up in his arms and carries me into the bathroom, setting me on the counter while he runs the bath water and gathers up everything I’ll need. I don’t move— I can’t .

Rooted in place, I watch as he strips off his clothes and checks the water’s temperature. Once he’s satisfied with that, he comes to stand before me.

“Arms up, baby.” He pulls the blood-stained scrub top over my head, growling when he sees the bruises left by the asshole doctor and I would imagine Cusenza as well. I don’t feel them. I don’t feel anything. Just numb.

Nathaniel reaches behind me, sliding me forward and off the counter as he slowly pushes my pants down over my ass. They hit the floor, and I’m scooped up into his arms again as he carries me to the tub and gently sets me down into the hot water.

“Scoot up, Sapphire. I’m going to get in with you.” I do as he says and curl my arms around my legs, settling my head on top of my knees. Nathaniel settles into the water then begins washing my back, my shoulders, and down my arms.

“Lean back. Let me take care of you.”

I don’t argue. I don’t speak at all as he continues to wash every inch of my body, taking special care not to linger in any one place too long. He uses a cup to pour water over my head, then lavishes my hair with shampoo. He just as gently rinses the soap out, then twists the water from the ends.

Once he’s satisfied that I’m clean enough, he reaches his arms around my waist and holds me to him. I let my head fall back onto his shoulder and close my eyes as the weight of everything that’s happened finally hits me. Nathaniel doesn’t shush me or tell me it’s okay, he just holds me and lets me be .

So many thoughts bombard me. The weight of my actions sit heavy on my chest, and I finally let them out. “I killed three people, Nathaniel.”

“They deserved what you did and more for their sins, Sapphire. You did the right thing.” He says reassuringly.

“I know they did,” I tell him. “I think what scares me is I wanted to kill them, and I don’t feel bad about doing it.” Turning in his arms to face him, I ask, “Does that make me a bad person? I mean, I killed them and I’m glad I did.”

He grips my face in his hands, staring me straight in the eyes. “No. You did what you had to do to survive. They would’ve killed you or worse if you hadn’t done what you did. Think about what would’ve happened to Nora had you not gotten free and gone to find her? You are not the bad person in this scenario, baby. You did exactly what any of us would’ve done. You survived, and you saved that little girl’s life. You don’t ever feel guilty about that. Got me?”

“But, Nathaniel,” I plead. “I’ve joked about killing Eleanor for what she did to my uncle and Avery, but when I saw her on the dock, I knew I was going to kill her. I had already determined I was going to find her and make her pay for everything she’s done.”

“And so you should have,” he replies. He raises his hand and puts a finger against my lips, silencing me. “Do you think any of us would’ve let that bitch live if we had found her first?” His eyebrows go up questioningly. “Gabe wanted that bitch dead before he knew about Avery. Jake has been plotting her demise for months. Hell, even Caleb and Liz have said they wouldn’t mind a few hours alone with her in a room.”

When I don’t respond, he kisses my forehead, then cradles me to him, both arms now wrapped around my body as he lifts me to straddle him. “Don’t feel guilty for ridding the world of shitty people.”

“That’s the problem. I don’t feel anything.” I lay my head on his shoulder.

Hawk stands up, taking me with him. My feet only touch the tub for a second before he lifts me up and over the edge, placing me on the rug. “Stay there,” he orders, then unplugs the tub, allowing the water to drain. When Nathaniel steps out, he reaches for two towels, wrapping one around his waist and the other he uses to dry my body, starting at my shoulders and working his way down. When he gets to my feet, he lifts my right leg over his shoulder and gently kisses his way from my knee to my center. I jump at the first swipe of his tongue.

“Do you feel that?” He smiles against my thigh, watching me. His eyes are dark with need. I meet his stare, placing my hand against his face, and nod.

“Please,” I beg. “I want to feel. I want to know this is real. That we’re real . That I’m safe and you’re mine and that all of this was not for nothing.”

When he stands up, cradling my face in his hands, my heart drops to my stomach.

He’s going to stop. He’s changed his mind about me. About us.

“Why would you think this was all for nothing?” He asks, his voice thick with anger or maybe it’s disappointment. I can’t tell.

“We didn’t save Shea. I told you I would find your sister and bring her home. I failed to do that. She wasn’t on the island.” I sob.

“Baby, Matteo and his men found her on the docks.”

“We need to go see her.” I try to push him back, but he doesn’t budge.

“No.”

“What the hell do you mean, no ? Hawk!” I shout.

“I mean, no. Shea is in excellent hands. Matteo’s going to get her checked out at the hospital, and then we can see her.”

I don’t know what to say to that.

“Baby, Shea is my half sister whom I don’t know. And maybe it makes me an asshole for not being more concerned, but she’s not my priority. She never was. You are.” He emphasizes his point by kissing my forehead, then my neck. “I want to help her, and we will. We will do everything we can for Shea, the same way everything will be done to help Nora. But they are not my primary concern. My primary concern is taking care of you. You’ve been through a lot. Your emotions are running high, and you need to relax. So, while I am sure you want to see Shea and see for yourself that your crazy-ass plan worked, I need you to let me take care of you first. Can you do that? Can you let go and just follow my lead? Trust me ?”

His eyes bore into mine, and the vulnerability, the uncertainty of what my answer will be, is laid bare before me. I don’t have to think about it. I answer quickly and honestly. “Yes.”

Nathaniel’s lips meet mine in a searing kiss, his tongue dueling with mine. When his mouth moves along my jaw, I let my head fall back and do as he’s asked— I let go . Let him have his way with me. My body responds to his every touch. It’s lighting up every cell from head to toe. It may not be what a therapist would recommend after the ordeal I’ve been through, or the pain I’ve carried around all this time, but it’s what I need.

Him. He is what I need.