27

SADIE

Emelia sits beside me at the dining room table, picking at the enormous spread of food Marta has laid out. I kept telling her I wasn’t hungry, but the stubborn woman just huffed and said, “You will do as Mr. Parisi instructs. You will eat.”

After she stormed out of the room, me and Emelia both fell into a fit of laughter. She may be older, but Marta is a spitfire. In some ways, she reminds me of Liz. All sass, zero fucks, and no regrets.

“How are you feeling now?” Emelia asks.

I shrug. “My head is a little achy, but I’m feeling better, for the most part.”

“Good. Now how are you feeling emotionally? That was quite a display in there. The air in the room was crackling with the electricity rolling off you two. So … spill,” she urges.

“There’s nothing to spill.” Emelia looks at me like I’m full of shit, and of course, I am. “We grew up together. Nathaniel … er … Hawk was given the job of being my protector, which creepily turned into him tracking my every move. Until I got better at hacking into shit, then I messed up his ability to keep tabs on me. It’s become one of my favorite past times.”

“You bested him? At his own game?” Emelia smiles. “Oh, I think I’m going to like this story. Go on,” she says, popping a piece of banana muffin into her mouth. When Marta realized all I will eat was bread, she brought out every muffin, bagel, and coffee cake she could find.

“I was a job. An obligation. Hawk put trackers on Loretta and my phone. He even tried to crack into my computers a few times, but I learned from watching him and made that shit backfire on him.” I smile around a bite of bagel and cream cheese. Emelia was right. My stomach is slowly feeling better with each bite.

“Wait. Back up. Who’s Loretta?” she asks, confused.

“My baby.”

“You have a kid?” She sits up, startled.

“NO!” I shout. “Fuck no. I’m not cut out to be a parent.” I laugh nervously. “I’d be too afraid to fuck them up like my parents did me.”

Emelia’s hand reaches over, grabbing mine. “Hey. You’re not fucked up. Like so many of the rest of us, you were probably dealt a shit hand in the parent department. It doesn’t mean you won’t be a great mom. Often, people with shitty parents grow up to be amazing parents because they know what they were missing and fight like hell to make sure their own children never feel that kind of hurt or pain. What did your parents do that was so bad?”

“My mother was a drug addict who ended up trying to smother me with a pillow before attempting to take her own life after my father left us,” I start. Watching Emelia’s face for any sign of judgment. “And my father was also an addict and a traitor to the Kings. He somehow managed to get tricked by Nathaniel’s dad into joining another club and played a part in killing my aunt. Though I don’t believe Thomas knew the entire plan anymore. I think he was used.” I shrug. “Either way, he had to leave us behind and, well, my mom lost her shit.”

“Who raised you? I mean, you said he killed your aunt. But what about your uncle?” Gabe would probably be pissed if he heard me spilling all the club’s business, but I came to learn a long time ago that this is not club business. This is my fucking life . It isn’t just some old timer’s story being told. I’ve actually lived this.

“My uncle Gabe is the club President, but he was grieving the loss of his family and so, Mack, who is not my uncle by blood, but the next closest thing to it, he and his wife took me in and raised me alongside their two kids.” I tear off another piece of bagel and stuff it in my mouth.

“And how are you and Hawk now? You seem … I mean … are you two together?” she asks hesitantly.

“No.”

“Feeling better, Dolcezza?” Matteo’s greeting cuts our conversation short as he enters the room. He comes straight to me, lifting my chin and kissing me on the forehead. His eyes search mine momentarily. A low growl coming from somewhere behind him makes me flinch.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Hawk clenches his fists as he comes to sit beside me, glaring daggers at Matteo, who isn’t moved in the slightest. Before he has a chance to answer Hawk, Matteo’s phone rings. He frowns down at the screen, then motions for everyone to stay silent as he answers the call. He places the phone on speaker and lays it in the center of the table.

“Hello.”

“Mr. Parisi.” A man’s voice drawls. He sounds older, his words thick with an Italian accent. “It would appear I have a debt to repay after you did me the favor of ridding my party of deceitful vermin.”

“Mr. Cusenza. There’s no need to repay anything. A rat deserves to rot in the sewer. It was my pleasure to dispose of the offensive creature,” Matteo replies. Though he sounds confident, he appears baffled.

“My reason for calling is, however, not about a debt I owe you—but one I believe you owe me ,” Cusenza says, his tone conveying a filthy smirk.

“How did you come to that conclusion? You just said yourself I did you a favor, so I’m uncertain how me doing said favor leads to a debt owed to you. ” Matteo looks to Vincenzo who is listening intently, appearing as calm, yet as confused as the rest of us.

“While I appreciate your extermination of the problem, you left quite the mess behind. I had to have the cleaners come in and then there was the matter of blackmail and favors paid to keep the other patrons quiet about the incident,” Cusenza responds. The slimy fucker is up to something. “So, the way I see it. Though you did me a favor, it cost me more than it was worth, and now you owe me a debt. But don’t worry, I know what I want for my payment.”

“And what might that be?” Matteo stands with his arms crossed over his chest and his brow still furrowed as he listens.

“How is your friend? The woman you brought to the party.”

“Hung over and resting in bed. What concern is she of yours?” Sadie watches Matteo studiously.

“Has she been punished for her drunken outburst and inappropriate behavior last night?” Cusenza asks.

Matteo sighs heavily. “I just told you she’s hungover. Once she’s feeling better, I’ll see to her punishment, but there’s no point in correction now when she may not feel the full impact. I’ll wait until she’s levelheaded and will remember the impact of each strike.” Another low growl rumbles out of Hawk. Matteo cuts him a glare.

Cusenza chuckles. “Fair enough. Well, how about you bring her to me, and I’ll see to her punishment?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because I have a very interested buyer who saw your woman and has made a very generous offer for her. Sell her to me, allow me to see to her punishment, and I’ll call our debts even,” the creepy bastard proposes.

Hawk shakes his head, struggling to keep his shit together. His fists are clenched. He’s gritting his teeth. The vein in his neck is pulsing hard. I place my hand on his, ignoring the jolt of electricity that courses through me. When Hawk’s eyes meet mine, I shake my head and mouth the word, “don’t”. His brow creases, his lips are pursed. He’s not happy with any of this, but we’ve come too far to let him mess things up now.

“How much are we talking?” Matteo asks. “She’s already well trained and eager to please her Master. She’s of great value to me, as you can imagine.”

Cusenza laughs heartily. “Of course. A good bitch is hard to find and even harder to train, but worth every second in the end, no?” He continues laughing. “My client has offered one point five million. Of course, I’ll require a finder’s fee since I’m the one coordinating the transaction.”

“And how much would that fee be exactly?”

“Thirty percent.” Cusenza deadpans. All humor now voids of the conversation.

“That’s a steep finder’s fee, Marco. Tell me, do you charge all your clients this high a price?”

“It’s a small increase to cover my expenses. I must pay the cleaners, remember?”

Asshole.

“Intriguing,” Matteo says. “The price seems too low.”

“Don’t be greedy, Matteo,” Cusenza reprimands.

“Not greedy,” Matteo rebuts. “If I sell her to you, I’ll have to find and train another to warm my bed. She’s not your common whore. She’s beautifully submissive and willingly does everything I ask of her. She’s also very young. Barely above legal age. Women like her are not easy to replace.” Matteo lays it on thick.

“I have no doubt you’ll find another to replace her quickly enough. I would imagine the same place you found her would be a good place to start.” Something in the way Cusenza says that makes my skin crawl.

Is he insinuating I’m a club whore? No. He couldn’t possibly know who I am.

“Where did you find her anyway?” Cusenza asks. Making me wonder if he knows about me, or is he fishing for a place to find more women my age? Sick fuck.

“At Bella Noche. She was looking for work, and I was looking for someone to satisfy my needs. Luckily, I learned she had a need to feel important and praise kink—a desire to be someone’s good girl—and I became that someone, easily filling both roles.” Matteo sounds so fucking smug. I want to slap him, but judging by the look on Hawk’s face, I may not have to. He may beat me to it.

“A package will arrive at your penthouse shortly with an invitation and instructions on where to bring the girl. Come alone. I’ll have your money waiting,” Cusenza explains. “And Matteo?” he adds. “If you need help finding a replacement, I’m sure I could be of assistance. Let me know the specifics you are looking for and I’ll have my curator locate the perfect woman for you. I won’t even charge you for her. We’ll call her a show of gratitude. A token of our new friendship.”

Matteo grunts, “I’ll be in touch,” then quickly hangs up the phone.

Vincenzo gives Matteo a curious look, then turns his icy glare on me. “You sure you still want to go through with this?”

“Absolutely.” This is exactly what we’ve been waiting for. An opportunity to get me into the compound and locate the other missing women and children.

“Over my dead fucking body!” Hawk shouts, squeezing my hand and pulling me into him. “You are not taking Sadie to that psycho bastard’s place to sell her . Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Mr. Hawkins, please don’t make suggestions you clearly don’t want followed,” Vincenzo says. “It’s counterproductive to the situation, and quite frankly, a waste of time.”

I pull out of Hawk’s grip and move toward Matteo. His hand rests on the small of my back, his subtle show of support.

“First of all, you don’t get to decide what I do. I’m a grown-ass woman and can speak for myself,” I shout back at the arrogant fuckhead. “Second, this is the whole point of the plan, Nathaniel. Getting into Cusenza’s compound on his special little island has always been the end goal. We know it’s where he’s keeping the others, but no one has been able to penetrate his security or sneak in without getting killed. Using me as bait was always the plan. Now, shut the hell up and leave me alone.”

“Dolcezza.” There’s a hint of warning in Matteo’s tone. “Language.”

“He deserves it. And it will be well worth the punishment. Trust me.”

Vincenzo laughs from his seat across the table, shaking his head in amusement. “You think your ass can truly bear the brunt of Matteo’s punishment? Or are you simply trying to wind up Mr. Hawkins with the image of Matteo baring your ass and striping it with his belt for your use of explicit language?”

I shrug. “Neither sounds like a terrible thing to me,” I reply. “My ass could use a good, hard, spanking session, and Hawk deserves to think about how much I’ll be enjoying another man’s touch. Throughout all these years, he allowed me to drown in images of him and other women.”

Hawk can’t even deny it.

I pull away from Matteo and march my ass out of the room, not looking back to see if anyone is following me. All I care about is getting as far away from Hawk as possible. Once I’m in my room alone, I lock the door, sit on the edge of the bed, and do something I should’ve done a long time ago.

I call Avery.

Two rings and she answers, “Hello?”

“Hey Aves.” I reply, trying to keep the tightness out of my voice.

“Sadie? Oh my god! Sadie! Sadie, how are you? Where are you?” Avery shoots off question after question in rapid fire.

The guilt of leaving my best friend behind while keeping so many secrets burns in the pit of my stomach. I’ve missed having someone to talk to and balance my craziness with her naivete. I’ve missed her . She’s still so innocent in so many ways. I want to say I am too, and compared to most of the guys, I guess I am. But the fact is, I’ve been exposed to so much lately—learned how the world really works —it’s hard not to feel like I’ll taint her with the truth. It wasn’t easy but cutting her off and leaving her behind was the right choice. It’s selfish of me to call her now, but I don’t know how to sort through what I’m feeling, and although I know the plans Vincenzo and Matteo have set in place, I know there’s still a high probability I won’t make it home again.

“Sadie?”

“Yeah, Aves. I’m here.”

“Answer me then, woman! Where are you? What the hell happened? And why the fuck didn’t you call me sooner?” she admonishes.

“Whoa! You’ve developed quite the colorful vocabulary since I left.” I try teasing to keep the mood light, but Avery’s not having it. Her tears and the cracking of her voice tell me I will not get away with my usual playful banter this time.

I’ve hurt her.

And it guts me.

“I’m sorry, babes. I did something, and I needed to get some space between me and the club for a little while until I can sort things out.” It’s not a total lie. I still don’t know what will happen between me and the club when everything is said and done. If I do make it out of this alive— will they forgive me and welcome me back home ? Or am I always going to be deemed a traitor and left to navigate my life alone?

At least they won’t kill you for being a traitor.

“I heard you killed Nate. But I don’t believe it. I know you would never kill someone. Make their lives miserable and financially ruin them, absolutely, but not murder. You could never do that,” Avery whispers.

“I didn’t kill him, but Aves, I helped the people who did. I gave them access … but I didn’t do it for the reasons you might think. I’m not a cold-hearted killer. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t believe it was the right thing to do. Nate knowingly helped kill Maggie and tried to kill you, too. He had a hand in my Uncle Jonah’s death as well. But the real reason I helped was because … I … I didn’t want Nathaniel to carry the guilt that would come with killing his own father. I know Nate was a low-life piece of shit and doesn’t deserve the title of father any more than my own does, but Nathaniel’s mother still loves Nate. To have to face his mother, knowing he killed the man she still loved—he shouldn’t have to live with that kind of pain. So, I took the opportunity away. I know they all wanted vengeance for all the pain Nate caused, but I believe more than anything that peace and a clean conscience are more important. They may not believe it now—or ever really— but I did what I did for all of them .”

“Jesus, Sadie. Why don’t you just tell them that? Tell my dad. He’ll understand.” Avery is so sweet to believe that I’d be forgiven so easily, but I broke so many rules of the club. There’s no going back from that. They’ll never trust me again.

“Maybe I’ll talk to him when I’m done working here.” I lie. “I’m almost done with the prototype and the boring board meetings. I didn’t know running my own business would mean I’d have to mingle with so many people all the time. I kind of want to hand it over to someone else and hide myself behind a curtain where I can be invisible while I work.” The last time we spoke, I was going to be going out of town but I told her it was for the Snitch program I’m working on. Since I’ve come and gone for months now, since she moved to Oakridge, she didn’t question it. Until I didn’t come home. But it was what I had to do. Avery doesn’t need to know where I am or what I’m doing. It’s safer if she doesn’t.

“When will you be home? I’m planning my wedding you know. I can’t get married without my maid of honor.” She slips that last part in, and the guilt feels even more intense.

“I’d love to be your maid of honor. Tell me what plans have been made so far.” I know it’s mean of me to get Avery’s hopes up like this, but selfishly, I want to listen to her talk about her beautiful dream wedding and ignore reality for a little while longer.

“Why don’t you tell me what you’re hiding first, and then I’ll tell you.” She’s good .

“I can’t tell you what I’m working on, Aves. It’s not just my business anymore, and you know how Matteo feels about me discussing his business with others.” That part is true. She knows Matteo is my business partner and that he’s a made man.

“Fine.” She huffs. “But you owe me a full explanation when you get home. And I mean about everything , including what’s going on between you and Hawk.”

Shit.

She tells me about her wedding dress—it’s not traditional with its crimson red trim and silver buttons. About how she’s planning for a winter wedding at the old Langston Ranch venue with the whole family, including Mountain Heights, in attendance. Langston Ranch is a horse ranch close to the clubhouse with a huge open barn made just for special events like this. They deck it out every year for Christmas with twinkle lights and several Christmas trees. It’s a beautiful venue surrounded by trees and privacy.

“Have you set a date yet?” I ask, wanting to keep her on the phone for a few more minutes.

“We’re thinking December.” I sit up on the bed.

“That’s only a few weeks away, Aves.” I hear her laugh.

“Now you see why I need you to hurry and come home. It’s going to be here before you know it. You can’t miss this, Sadie. It’s the biggest moment of my life. I need my ride or die at my side.” Her voice cracks a little. “Besides, I’ve already got the dresses picked out, and the catering. Jayde is helping coordinate the decorations and all the gift registry stuff. She took charge when she realized you weren’t coming home soon. I hope that’s ok?”

“Of course it is. Just remind her that when I get back, she’s going to have to relinquish control.” I tease.

“Um, maybe we just let her plan and you can handle the maid of honor duties, like planning the bachelorette party and keeping the best man in check.”

“Best man?” My stomach drops. I already know who Jake would pick, and I don’t know why, but I’m hoping maybe I’m wrong. “Who’d he pick as his best man?”

Avery sighs deep. “Duh. Hawk of course.”

“ Of course .” I hold back a groan.

The sound of heavy footfalls and a grumbled male voice I assume is Jake’s can be heard in the background.

“What’s wrong, Jake?” Avery asks. I hear some rustling around. He’s talking, but it doesn’t sound like it’s to her. The last thing I hear him say before he answers her is that he’s on his way. “Jake, what’s happened?”

Avery moves the phone away, but I can still hear their conversation.

“That was Pres. Hawk’s in trouble. We received reports that Matteo Parisi shot him and they have him barricaded in one of Parisi's penthouses. Pres is calling church to discuss what we do next.” Jake explains.

“No! Avery! Avery!” I shout, trying to get her attention. “Avery, Hawk’s fine! He’s not hurt. He’s with me! Avery!”

She comes back on the line and tells me to hold on. “You’re on speaker, Sadie. Say that again.”

I repeat it and then hear Jake’s deep sigh and grumbled curses.

“Where the fuck are you—and where’s Hawk? I want to talk to him. No. Actually, make him call Pres. Fucking now, Sadie. Pres got some weird ass text from Hawk and now Pres is ready to rain hell down on the Parisis. Backlash be damned! And we are in no way equipped to take on a fucking Mafia Kingpin!” he roars.

“Okay. Okay. Calm down.” The words are said to Jake, but it’s me who needs to calm down. I’m up off the bed pacing the room, ready to go find Hawk, when the devil himself comes through my bedroom door. “Hold on, Jake. He’s right here.”

Hawk’s scowling at me, anger vibrating his whole body. “You need to tell Jake you’re okay. Gabe is about to go to war with Vincenzo if you don’t.” That sobers Hawk instantly.

“I’m here, brother.” Hawk takes my phone from my hand and works to calm Jake down. “Put Pres on the call. I’ll wait.” I move to head out of the bedroom to give him privacy so he can talk club business when he calls out, pointing an angry finger at me. “Don’t you move another fucking inch. You stay right here where I can see you. We have shit to discuss as soon as I’m off this phone.”

I’m two seconds from storming out when he stalks forward, gripping my hand in his. His eyes pleading with mine. “Sapphire. Stay. Please.”

The breath leaves my lungs in a long whoosh. It’s a mixture of exhaustion and maybe relief. I don’t honestly know. I expected he would want to talk to me again to try to make sense of everything. I’ve only been trying to avoid the inevitable because I know he’s going to tell me again how badly I’ve fucked up and hurt the club.

He’s going to rip my heart out again.

Not if I act like I don’t care. Maybe if I turn the tables, make him believe what we had meant nothing. It was just a one-night stand like all his others.

Hurt him first and he’ll let this shit go.