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15

SADIE

“Again!” Sergio demands.

I pull the five knives out of the paper outline of a man’s body on the board and walk them back to the throw line. One by one I release the knives hitting my target, but not quite hitting them where he wants me to. Hence the yelling.

“How is she doing?” I hear Matteo’s voice behind me.

“She’s distracted.” Sergio complains. “She won’t’ take instruction and she’s stubborn as hell.” I hide my smile. He’s not wrong about my being distracted. Actually, I’m pissed. But I can’t disclose that bit of information or Matteo will be all up my ass for answers, and I’m not sure I even know what I would tell him. My only inkling of joy so far this afternoon is watching Sergio become frustrated. The stoic man does have a button, and I just found the damn thing and have been pushing it repeatedly for over an hour.

It’s the simple joys on life, really.

“She’s done for today.” Matteo instructs and I swear I hear Sergio release a sigh of gratitude.

“Dolcezza. Come. We’re leaving.” I place the knives back on the table and walk to Matteo’s side, keeping my expression neutral.

“Where are we going?”

“Upstairs.” I’m suddenly feeling a mixture of excitement and trepidation at the same time. I know what’s upstairs. I’ve heard the other men talking about the Mansion and what people get up to here. It’s a member’s only kink club owned by Matteo’s cousins. I’ve never been allowed upstairs. I’ve only been brought through the underground entrance and taken straight to the training facilities and arsenal room. In fact, Sergio gave me explicit instructions that I was not go on any other floor but this one and never anywhere without him or Matteo at my side.

I follow Matteo, my mind racing. I’m so in my own head that I don’t notice until it’s too late that Matteo has stopped and plow right into his back. He spins, catching me, searching my face. I blink up at him, biting my bottom lip out of nervousness. He gives me a soft smile then grabs my arms one at a time placing a white band on both my wrists then turns back to press a button for the elevator. “Do not remove those bands until I tell you it is safe to do so.”

“What is this for? What are we doing?” My nerves ramp up and I’m suddenly feeling a little apprehensive.

“For as long as we’re here, you will wear these bracelets. You will not take them off and you will not speak to anyone without my express permission.” He waits for me to acknowledge what he’s said. I do with a nod. “Your responses will be yes, sir. From this point forward, you will respond to me with yes, Sir or yes, Master. Do you understand?” Matteo smirks. He knows I hate the word master. We’ve discussed it thoroughly since my arrival. He explained how some people in Master/slave dynamics need to give over total control. Though it’s not my kink, I don’t disrespect anyone who feels they need that in their relationship, but it’s not something I would choose. It probably has something to do with the feeling of being trapped under everyone else’s ‘rule’ or demands my whole life.

My eyes narrow and I nod begrudgingly conceding to the rules. Sir seems to come more naturally to me and feels more like a term of respect than one of absolute power. Respect is earned in my world, and I do respect Matteo.

“We are going upstairs and there are people here… playing. They are doing scenes with their partners. Some are enjoying sex in the open for all to see, while others are giving demonstrations for various kinks and aftercare. That is where we will be going. To watch a demonstration.” I feel my eyes widen at his words, and my body reacts to the idea of what I might see.

I’ve never liked watching people having sex in the clubhouse, but most of those guys are like brothers to me and well, it’s gross. I read romance novels and have done some research on the different kinks whenever I’ve come across something that interested me. I’ve even joined a few forums and asked questions. I’ve always been curious about the whole Dom/sub thing. The thought of giving someone control of my care and in the bedroom has it’s merits. But I don’t know that I could give myself completely to someone in that way. I’m so used to fighting for everything. Earning my place that I don’t know if I could do it.

You trusted Nathaniel to take care of you.

And look how well that worked out. The sex was amazing. I didn’t say anything at the time, but I was grateful for him taking charge that night. When my emotions are high, I don’t want to be in charge, to make decisions. It was a relief to hand over the reins and not have to guess or choose what happened next. I only had to follow Nathaniel’s lead, and he seemed to know exactly what my body needed, craved.

I won’t say I’m not intrigued by what I’ve learned about the BDSM world. But to see it? To observe people in while they engage in their kinks… I’m not sure how I feel about that. It’s a combination of nervous excitement and reservation.

What if something scares me? What if I get turned on? Will Matteo know? Will he do something about it? Would I be willing to cheat on Hawk to…

It’s not cheating when he threw me away. He said he didn’t want me as hi ol’ lady. It’s not cheating when we’re not together.

But could I let Matteo teach me?

“Dolcezza.” Matteo lifts my chin forcing my eyes to his. “Are you all right?”

I nod, but he’s not satisfied. His eyes are searching mine. I try again. “Yes, Sir.”

“Hmmm.” His lips are pinched. He’s too observant.

“First, we’re going to a private room where I have left clothes out for you to change into. You must always look and act the part of my submissive. Once you are changed, we will come back down to the bar and have a drink. Since you are underage you will not be given any alcohol on the floor. However, if you feel you need something to take the edge off your nerves, I will provide you with a drink in our room.” He pauses waiting for my acknowledgment.

“Yes, please, sir. I think a drink may help my nerves.” It’s his turn to nod.

“The first floor is like any other night club you may have been to. There’s music, dancing, a bar and areas to sit and talk. We will start there. We will also get a contract. You will fill it out with your likes and dislikes as if we were really entering into a relationship. It’s for your safety, but also for appearances. We want people to see us negotiating our terms. Understand?”

I’m struggling to keep up. My brain tripping over everything he’s said. I never considered having to sign a contract or admit to Matteo what my sexual interests are. I’m not a prude, but I’ve only had sex a couple of times. The night with Hawk is the kinkiest thing I’ve ever done, and we didn’t do much compared to what I’ve heard Hawk likes or has done with others.

I feel the burn of white-hot jealousy thrumming through my veins.

Don’t think about him.

Anger surges through me and for some reason I want to fill out the paperwork. I want to discover my own interests and desires. Maybe I’ll learn something about myself in this process. Not that I plan to come back here after everything is over, but what can it hurt to explore? Matteo may not be my first choice to discover things with, but at least I know I’m safe with him and he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me emotionally. I don’t know where he stands on mixing pain with pleasure, but I have a feeling he’s the type to have a firm hand.

“I understand, Sir.”

Matteo smiles at my response, rubbing his thumb gently across my jaw soothingly. “We will watch some demonstrations. At my request, tonight they will focus on beginner’s pleasure and submission. If something interests you, we can try those in our private room. Sometimes observing can become arousing. If you become too aroused and feel you need a release, I will help you with that if you wish. What we will not be doing is having sex. This is to get you used to being around people in all states off undress and in various acts of sex. I don’t know which type of auction we will be attending or what we may encounter. You need to be able to handle whatever is thrown at you, so to speak.”

“According to Sergio, if they throw something at me, I can pick it up and throw it back harder so long as I don’t miss.” Matteo’s lips curl in small hint of a smile.

“Dolcezza, you must understand this is not a game. If you are uncomfortable or show fear, the people at the auction parties will know, and they will use it to their advantage. They’re not just looking for people to buy and sell. They’re looking for people to bend and break. If you do not show fear, if you cannot be broken, you will perceivably go up in value to them. Do you understand?”

“If I seem unbreakable, I’m more of a challenge. Is that it?”

“Yes. Breaking the unbreakable doesn’t just get these men off, it’s how they show the others their dominance and power.” He says. “They believe breaking a person’s spirit is power. It’s not. A weak man preys on the weak because he cannot win in a real fight.”

I nod. I understand what he’s saying. It’s been drilled into me from the first time we spoke about our plans months ago. We have to appear as though this is our normal routine. It has to look as though we attend places like this all the time and I need to come off as someone who thrives on being submissive to my Dom.

“I know you have an aversion to taking orders, and you have a strong independent will, but you will need to forget both of those things while you are with me no matter who is around. You must follow my instructions to a T, Dolcezza. There is no room for attitude or defiance unless you want me to spank your ass in front of everyone in attendance. Because that’s what I will have to do.”

I squeeze my thighs, and Matteo smirks.

“You like the idea of having your ass spanked.” He says his voice void of judgment. “If you want to experience what it’s like to give over control to me, Dolcezza, to know what it’s like to not have to make any decisions and lay down any guilt you may be harboring, I can help you. We won’t go any further than to release your emotions. Understand?”

Is he really offering to spank my ass?

Am I really considering letting him?

Whoa!

Matteo watches me closely and chuckles, rubbing his thumb across my creased brow. “Relax, Sadie. You’re intrigued. It’s normal. Everyone has things they wish to try, but don’t always ask for what they need. I’m not going to exploit you or take advantage of our situation. I’m simply offering to let you explore your needs and interests. Nothing more. You will always be safe with me, Dolcezza. You have my word. Anything we do will be strictly for your knowledge and experience, and I can promise I would bring you pleasure.”

“And what would you get out of that? If it’s all for my pleasure?” I ask on a whimper. What the hell is wrong with me?

Matteo chuckles. “I am not a selfish Dom. I can give pleasure and not take any for myself. Besides, I can assure you, you aren’t ready for my particular tastes in pleasure.”

Holy hell.

Matteo chuckles again, kissing my forehead. A subtle gesture I’ve gotten used to him doing. “I can tell I’ve stunned you. Come on. We’ll take it one step at a time Let’s go get you changed.”

I don’t know how to process everything he’s just said. But I think he just offered to spank my ass and teach me about my own kink preferences without getting himself off. But why wouldn’t we have to have sex?

Because Matteo doesn’t want you either. This is all a game to bring down the bad guys.

I push down the rejection and focus on the task at hand. If he can be all business, so can I. I just have to focus on my reasons for doing all of this.

To find the bastards who tried to by my best friend and stole Carter from his mother, and to find Shea and send her home. To right the wrongs committed against my family while taking down the bastards who chose to fuck with us in the first place. To win back the love of…

No. I’m not doing this for love. Love doesn’t exist for me anymore. I’m going to settle the score, clear Hawk’s name, and end the war with the Devils while rescuing his sister from the pits of hell Nate left her in. Then I’m going home, packing my shit, and leaving Oakridge for good. I can run my company from anywhere. I don’t have to be a part of the Kings to have a good life.

Keep lying to yourself, sweetheart. It’s worked wonderfully so far.

I mentally flip myself the bird then clear my head of all thoughts about the club or Hawk. I need to focus.

We take the elevator to the third floor. Matteo said this floor is for members only and can only be accessed if a person has their membership key card. He leads me to a room on the far left and opens the door.

The room is similar to a hotel with the small seating area with a loveseat and a leather trunk posing as a coffee table and a mini fridge to the left. The lights are dim, but the flick of a switch by Matteo, and a bedside lamp comes on.

The large bed is central to the room. I’ve never stayed in a hotel that has floggers and paddles hung up by shape and size on hooks for display or use on the wall. I’ve never been to a hotel where the bed had straps dangling from the center of the metal canopy or cuffs linked to all four corners of the bed and metal rings attached to the center of what looks to be a sturdy headboard, either. Images of myself being stripped bare and strapped down the bed while Hawk has his wicked way with my flitter through my mind and damn if the idea doesn’t make me wet.

I wonder how many women he’s done this with to fulfill their fantasies.

Goddamn it! “Go away.” The words come out loud and I feel myself blushing.

“What did you say?” Matteo asks with concern. “Does the room make you uncomfortable, Dolcezza?”

“No. I’m fine. I was just thinking about something else. Sorry.”

“Hmm.” He doesn’t elaborate but I can’t help but feel as though he knows what I was thinking about, or rather, who.

I take in the rest of my surroundings -the light gray walls, frames paintings depicting men and women engaging in various sexual acts. It’s actually very tasteful and beautiful artwork. There are black iron sconces on each wall with candles perched on them and a huge pile of blankets made from various fabrics.

I walk around the room touching the sconces, the couch, the blankets, even the that have different paddles have different textures and thickness. I take everything in one piece at a time.

“What’s that smell? Where’s it coming from?” It smells like Nathaniel -cinnamon and cedar, with a hint of vanilla-it’s comforting yet it seems wrong to have his scent lingering in a place like this while I’m here with someone else. Like he’s somehow here with me.

“It’s essential oils coming from the diffuser over there in the corner. Some scents can be comforting, while others can induce arousal or relaxation.”

Or cloud your brain and make your heart ache for home.

Matteo points to the clothing laid out on the bed and instructs me to shower and change. I do as I’m told and just about wet myself when I see the luxurious en suite bathroom. There’s a large rainwater shower with multiple showerheads from all angles and a large spa tub built big enough to hold at least four people.

“Jesus. How many people do they plan to have in these rooms at one time?”

“Multiple partners and companion sharing are a regular occurrence in a place like this, Dolcezza. The Mansion aims to accommodate all needs for their members.” I jump not having heard Matteo enter the bathroom. “Go. Start the shower and get in. We don’t have much time before the first demonstration begins.”

I stand there waiting for Matteo to leave the room, when he doesn’t, I subtly nudge my chin toward the door. When he still doesn’t move, I snap. “You can go now. I can shower on my own.”

“I’m sure you can. In fact, I’m expecting you to. So, get to it.”

Oh shit.

“You’re going to watch me take a shower?” I swallow hard. I wasn’t expecting this. Getting undressed in front of Matteo has been awkward, but I’m not ashamed of my body and got past the nervousness of being naked in front of him, but this seems different.

“No. But we have discussed this at your previous trainings. There may come a time you will have to be nude in front of me and others and you must be comfortable in your own skin to do so. If you show fear, especially in something as simple as this, the men who view you as their prey will aim to humiliate you. To punish you. They will pounce on any weakness, especially bashfulness or modesty. This is not sexual between us, Dolcezza. This is survival.” He says it so smoothly, yet I know by his expression he’s being very serious. This is not about arousal for him, it’s about the job. But he’s wrong in thinking this is simple.

I take a deep breath, settle the clothes he chose for me on the vanity, and start the shower water, testing the temperature. When that’s all done, I lock eyes with Matteo and begin to undress, removing one piece of clothing at a time, slowly, deliberately. If he wants a show, fine. I’ll give him a show.

“You’re doing well. Keep going.” He says shucking his chin, urging me to remove my panties.

He’s not touching me, nor is he looking at my body. His eyes are locked on mine, the whole time. Oddly enough, it’s comforting to know he’s not ogling me, but instead he’s anchoring me in the moment.

“Good girl.” I tilt my head at his praise not understanding why I like it so much. “Keep your head high, shoulders back, your eyes down unless otherwise instructed.” I do as he says and still, I know he’s not ogling me. “Good. Now take your shower. I’ll wait outside in the room for you.”

I step into the shower and let the hot water wash over me from every angle. It feels amazing. I grab the shampoo and begin washing my hair, feeling even more relaxed now with the glass doors covered in steam. I allow the water to loosen the tension I’ve been holding in my back, neck and shoulders. Ever since finding out about the Feds and the apparent staging of Hawk’s gun, I’ve been a ball of stress. It’s why Sergio was so frustrated with me. All my shots and throws were off today. Not by much, but enough for him to take notice and read me the riot act because, “Any missed target is now potential threat.”

I’ve been struggling to find a way to let Hawk, and the club know what’s coming for them. Who’s coming for them, but it hasn’t been easy. I copied and uploaded the FBI files and sent them to Hawk through Garrison in a password encrypted file. It would take most people hours to figure out, but not Hawk. I also sent him some information I found in Trident’s files about the foster homes and the Devils who own them.

I shouldn’t be sending them anything since it will only bring more to the war with the Devils. But I would rather have them hunting down child predators then fucking with the mafia. Bikers versus bikers, I know the Kings can handle their shit. Gabe won’t allow anyone to hurt women and especially not children. After everything his own daughter and Carter have been through, I know he’ll put his focus on saving the kids and hopefully, let Vincenzo focus on the trafficking side of things. Because bikers versus the mafia is a brand of war the Kings are not prepared to get into.

I overheard Sergio and Matteo discussing the man they call Cusenza in the office at the penthouse. Vincenzo was on speaker phone and gave a run down on approximately how many men Cusenza had and potential allies he has in his employ, like cops, Feds, judges, senators. The list was endless. The Kings don’t have that kind of pull. If they get into a war and shit goes sideways, Cusenza could have them all locked up and killed from the inside. I can’t allow that to happen, so I took the easier route and sent them on a chase to shut down the Devils.

After going through some of the files, I’ve discovered the Devils are the low men on the totem pole. The bottom feeders so to speak. They kidnap, collect, and transport the victims. It’s Cusenza who facilitates the grooming and the sales. The Devils get paid handsomely for their services and are often given product to sample by way of drugs and often times women. The reports I read show the women to split fifty-fifty meaning sometimes they keep them for themselves and turn them into club whores the rest they pimp out and turn themselves a profit.

Cusenza is the one who facilitates these swanky parties for the upper echelon of society, allowing them to pick and choose their product of choice. I saw the photos. Women and young children who went missing. Their photos of the day they disappeared paired with a photo of what they looked like when they were found. These assholes know no boundaries. These people were drugged, raped, beaten. Some of their bodies were found mangled with broken and dislocated limbs. Who fucking does that?

Sadistic assholes that’s who.

I know my family. The Kings would want to burn the world down to rid it of these cruel and perverted fuckers. Women and children are off limits when it comes to the club. A biker’s ol’ lady and his family are sacred to most. There have been some dickheads, like Nate and Thomas who don’t see the value in their own flesh and blood. Then again, they both played a part in how Cusenza and the Devils’ whole operation got started way back when. Fucking traitors to the life, their families, and their club. Bikers live buy a code, and they broke it. A traitor can never be forgiven. Their sentence is death.

What’s that mean for you?