CHAPTER 3
RHIANNON
If only I’d known it would only take nearly being blown up to convince Hawk to stay.
Not that it’s an experience I’d like to repeat.
Contrary to my claims of being fine, I’ve definitely felt better. My arm is throbbing in rhythm with my pulse, now that the numbing agent the ER doctor used to stitch me up is starting to wear off. The back of my head is aching from my unfortunate collision with the ground—not a concussion, thankfully, but in a stroke of irony, the headache I claimed to have before is now real.
I’m stiff and sore all over, and I counted at least half-a-dozen bruises scattered across my back and legs. And now that the adrenaline rush has faded, I’m feeling tired and shaky.
I won’t tell any of my teammates that, though. They would insist on pushing this meeting until tomorrow and practically frog-marching me back to my apartment for some rest. The already-worried expression on Hawk’s face would deepen, and judging from how closely he’s been monitoring me, there’s a good chance he might drag me back to the hospital if he knew how crummy I actually feel.
Plus, now I have Sarah and Lucy hovering around me, offering ice packs and herbal tea and basically waiting on me hand and foot. The last thing I want to do is worry them more.
So when sweet Lucy asks if I’d like a cup of ginger-turmeric tea, explaining it helps with inflammation, I don’t tell her it sounds absolutely disgusting and is unlikely to come close to touching my pain. Instead, I smile at her and say, “That sounds really nice, Luce. If you’re sure you don’t mind making it.”
“Of course not,” she chirps, sounding much more chipper than a pregnant woman up well past midnight should. Rubbing the swell of her belly absently, she turns to Xavier and asks, “Do you want some tea, too? I could make a peppermint one to help you stay alert.”
Xavier smiles at his wife and pats her stomach affectionately, his gaze softening as he looks at her. “Sure, Luce. That sounds great.”
Once she leaves the room, his smile slides into a little grimace. “I don’t know how you can drink that stuff,” he tells me in an undertone. “That herbal stuff tastes like grass clippings and dirt.” Then he softens again. “But if Luce wants me to drink it, I will.”
Hawk glances at me, his eyebrows raised. “You like herbal tea now?” he asks quietly. “I thought you only drank coffee.”
I set down my uneaten sandwich on my plate. “I don’t really like it,” I admit. “But if Lucy thinks it’ll help…”
“We all do what Lucy wants,” Niall adds, his voice pitched low so Lucy can’t hear. “You’ll see, Hawk. She just has this way about her. It’s impossible to say no.”
Pride washes over Xavier’s face. “Luce is special. You’ll see.”
A pang of longing hits me.
What would it be like to have someone who talked about me like that? To have someone who thinks the sun rises and sets around me?
Once upon a time, I had a fantasy of what my life after the Green Berets would look like. When I hit thirty-five, I’d transition to a position on-base, maybe training new recruits or working in one of the clinics. Then I would buy a house, one with a big yard and a pool. I’d live there happily with my husband, a couple of dogs, and maybe even a baby or two.
But that dream faded four years ago, and I haven’t let myself consider it since.
At least, I tried not to. Sometimes I’d see a couple on House Hunters that resembled me and Hawk in some way—appearance or profession or just the natural banter they had with each other—and I’d wonder what it would be like if that was my life. If I were married to Hawk. If we were buying a house together. Adopting a dog. Starting our own little family, like my teammates have done.
Each time that would happen, I’d sternly remind myself that my life was fine as it was. That I had more than most people could ever dream of.
But sitting here next to Hawk, still remembering how his hand felt on my cheek and arm, so much more tender than I ever imagined, it’s hard not to fall back into my wistful fantasies.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Hawk’s eyes darken to a forest at sunrise, bits of gold flecked amid the deep green. “Do you need something for the pain? Did you take anything?” Before I can answer, he shakes his head, frowning as he continues, “I’m sure you didn’t. You never wanted to take anything when you were hurting. I remember that time you cracked two ribs and?—”
“I took some ibuprofen,” I reply tightly. “I’m fine. No need to worry.”
Irritation niggles at me. Where was his concern all the other times I was hurt over the last several years? When I had to get ten stitches after I was cut by a suspect in one of our pro-bono cases or the time I got a concussion thanks to a strung-out patient I was treating back when I worked as a paramedic? Or any of the times I was sick—taking antibiotics for a sinus infection that lingered for weeks, or the weekend I was laid up with food poisoning?
Although. I never told him. So how would he know?
Something that looks a lot like hurt darkens his expression. “Sorry, Rhi.”
Just as Lucy comes back into the room to deliver our steaming mugs of tea, Matt sets his laptop on the end of the coffee table and clears his throat. “Okay. I’ve got Cole on the call.” He taps the mouse pad and Cole’s face fills the screen, his short hair rumpled and dark eyes concerned.
We all shift around so we can see the screen, crowding onto one of the couches and Niall and Erik taking the floor. Cole lifts his chin in a gesture of greeting, his gaze sweeping from one of us to the next, and finally landing on me. “Rhi. How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine,” I repeat for the gazillionth time. At the skeptical rise of his brows, I concede, “A little sore. But nothing to worry about. I’m more concerned with finding out who did this.”
“We will,” Cole replies. “That’s why I wanted to join your meeting tonight. I don’t want to waste any time on this.”
Dante’s jaw goes rigid. “The priority is solving this case over anything else.” To Cole, he adds, “We have a couple security gigs coming up over the next couple of weeks, so we should probably keep those on the schedule, but I’d like to put a hold on all pro-bono cases for now.”
I lean forward, trying to ignore the flash of pain in my back. “But you were just saying how we have more applications than we can accept. And if we push them off…”
“This is more important, Rhi.” Dante’s eyes meet mine. “You were hurt. You could have been killed. We need to figure out who’s behind this. Who might have motive to come after you.”
Beside me, Hawk stiffens. His features turn to stone. Tension radiates from him in waves.
“I think we need to tighten up security at both locations,” Cole says. “Yes, Rhi was targeted. But we don’t know if the threat is solely focused on her or the entire Blade and Arrow organization.”
“Rhi and I were the only two who drove ourselves,” Xavier adds. “Everyone else came in the company SUV.”
Hawk asks, “If someone was trying to hurt the team, wouldn’t it have made more sense to attach the bomb to the vehicle with more people in it?” He pauses. “I know it sounds bad, but if they wanted to make the maximum impact, wouldn’t the team SUV have made more sense?”
“Yes, except our SUV is equipped with extra security.” Matt takes a sip of coffee before continuing, “It has cameras and sensors all over. If anyone breathes near it, we’ll know. But Rhi and Xavier were just driving their personal vehicles, so they were more vulnerable targets.”
Beside Xavier, Lucy sucks in a sharp breath. The color drains from her face. He loops his arm around her and pulls her in to whisper something in her ear. A moment later, she sags against him, resting her head on his shoulder.
“Sorry, Luce,” Matt adds. “But unfortunately, it’s true.”
“No, don’t apologize,” she replies quickly. “I chose to be here. And I want to know what’s going on.”
Just as Dante opens his mouth to speak, his phone buzzes. He makes an apologetic grimace as he holds a finger up, his attention shifting to the message coming in.
A few seconds later, he taps out a quick reply before setting it back on the table again. Then he says, “Sorry. That was Ace. I reached out to see if he’d be able to help liaise with the Austin PD.” Glancing at Erik, he adds, “Not that I don’t think you’re capable of investigating the explosion, but with Ace’s connections in the department, I thought he might have better luck getting access.”
“No, it’s a good idea,” Erik replies. “The police certainly weren’t receptive to me taking a look. Given Ace’s job, he’s got a better chance to make headway with them.”
“And we know we can trust him,” Cole adds.
Everyone in the room save for Sarah and Lucy nods in agreement. We all know Ace, a former Green Beret who was based at Fort Campbell with us before transitioning over to Delta. Now he’s living in Austin, working as a unexploded ordnance technician for a company that consults with the Austin PD.
“So we have Ace looking into the bomb for now,” Niall says. “What are you thinking for a plan? Interview everyone at the event, of course. And search through all the surveillance footage. What else?”
Dante lifts his chin at Niall. “Both of those, for sure. In fact, I was thinking I could head back to Austin tomorrow to talk to the hotel staff. And we’ll need to reach out to all the guests?—”
“I can help,” Xavier volunteers.
Matt pulls out his phone and types out a quick note. “I’ll work on the list of guests. We already ran background checks on everyone, so there obviously weren’t any red flags. But I’ll go through them again.”
“Do you want a third?” Niall asks. “I know Jade won’t mind if I go to Austin with you. And it’ll make things go faster.”
“I’d like to check out the parking garage,” Erik says. “I might be able to find some clues. Some explosive residue, leftover materials…”
“How about this?” Dante glances around our small group. “Tomorrow—well, today, really—Xav, Erik, and I will head to Austin. Matt and Niall will stay here to look through the surveillance footage.”
“What about me?” Everyone turns towards me as I add, “I can go to Austin. Or Matt, if you find anyone suspicious on the guest list, I can head out in the field to question them.”
There’s a beat of silence. Then Dante frowns. “Sorry, Rhi. But for now, I think it’s best if you stay at the ranch. If you want to help look through footage with Matt and Niall, that would be good; it’ll give them both a break to spend time with their families.”
My jaw clenches, sending pulses of pain through my head. “I want to be out there. Not hiding at home.”
“It’s not hiding.” Cole draws my attention back to him. “I hate to say this, but if you leave the ranch, it’s actually putting the people with you at risk. If there is someone targeting you, what’s to stop them from trying again? And this time, Dante or Erik or Xavier could end up involved, too.”
“If anyone comes after Rhi again, I hope I’m involved,” Xavier growls. “Because they won’t be getting away again.”
“I’m sorry, Rhi.” Dante’s features crease in empathy. “But you know it makes sense.”
I deflate. “Yeah. I know.” But I hate it. Hiding back at home while my teammates are out there putting themselves at risk. Because while it seems like I was the intended target, there’s no way to know for sure. And there’s no way to know if Xavier or Erik or Dante could be next.
“You need to be extra careful.” My chest squeezes as fear’s icy claw wraps around it. “Just because we think the bomb was intended for me…”
“We’ll be careful, Rhi.” Erik walks behind me and claps his hand gently on my shoulder. “No unnecessary risks. I promise.”
Hawk casts a quick side glance at me before turning to Dante. “I can help. In Austin or going through footage… whatever you need. And I’m not part of B and A, so I wouldn’t be a target.”
Dante lifts his chin at him. “That would be great, Hawk. You don’t mind staying?”
“Not at all. If you guys don’t mind having a non-team member helping out.”
“Of course not. We’re glad to have the extra help. Especially with Rhiannon hurt and Matt and Niall?—”
“I’m not hurt.” Niall snorts quietly beside me. I turn to him, adding defensively, “I’m barely hurt. No worse than when you broke two toes running into that tree stump. Or when Dante was in the car accident with Sarah.”
“And we both took time off,” Niall replies calmly. “Just take it easy for a couple days, Rhi. It’s not the end of the world.”
No, it’s not. All things considered, I’m pretty darn lucky. And I can still help here, making sure my teammates’ partners and children are protected, searching through hours of surveillance footage with Matt… But I still feel unsettled. Anxious. Raw.
Is it because of the explosion? Or is it because of Hawk?
Probably both.
I’ve been shot at before. Been within feet of losing a limb. And on one treacherous exfil in Afghanistan, I was almost killed when the helo we were on was hit by an RPG. But back then, I accepted those risks as part of the job.
Now, I don’t expect to be in danger. Not like that. And I really, really don’t want to die. Not when I have so much to look forward to. Being an aunt. A godmother to Xavier and Lucy’s baby. And hopefully seeing Erik fall in love one day, just like my teammates have.
So yes, what happened in the parking garage bothers me.
But so does Hawk’s unexpected visit.
I’m conflicted. Part of me is rejoicing to have him around again.
But the other part keeps waiting for the anvil to drop. For the truth of his feelings to finally come to the surface. I’m scared that the things I’ve suspected will finally be confirmed, and the last strings holding our frayed relationship together will snap.
It’s one thing remembering his reaction four years ago, the anger and frustration and the look on Hawk’s face when he stormed away from me. But to see it again? Have to relive it again?
I’ve always considered myself a strong person. But losing Hawk a second time might be more than I can handle.
“I think we’re good to wrap things up for tonight,” Dante says, interrupting my wandering thoughts. “Everyone get some sleep. Let’s say we meet again around nine AM to review our plans for the day.”
“Sounds good.” Cole smothers a yawn. “I’ll talk to my team first thing in the morning. And call me if you need anything. It doesn’t matter when it is.”
“Will do.” Dante nods. “Have a good night. Tell Maya I said hi. And give Clara a hug from me, too.”
We all echo the same sentiment, giving our best to Cole’s wife, Maya, and his little girl, Clara. Less than a minute later, the call ends, and everyone stands and stretches.
As everyone leaves the room to head back to their apartments—a huge perk of working here is having our own rent-free apartments on site—I realize Hawk is just standing awkwardly by the couch, an uncertain expression clouding his features.
Dante’s staring at his phone, but he looks up to see Hawk and says, “If you give me a minute, I can show you to the client apartment. I’m just texting with Ace.”
“No, I can show you.” I touch Hawk’s arm, feeling the warmth of it seep into my chilled fingers. “The apartment is just across the hall from mine.”
A faint smile lifts his lips. “If you’re not too tired?”
“Of course not.” I widen my eyes at him. “I’m wide awake. Must have been all the ginger and turmeric.”
He grins, his face lighting up with it. “Ah. Maybe I should try some of the grass-tea next time.”
My heart flutters. Skips. My chest fills with a fizzy lightness, pushing away the heavy weight that’s been pressing down on it for hours.
“Oh, you should definitely try it. In fact—” I smirk at him. “I think I have some extra at my place. So I could give you some, if you want.”
Hawk chuckles. “I think I’ll pass. But if you have any of that special coffee you spend way too much money on…”
“The Ethiopian blend? Yeah, I still get it.” My only real splurge is the coffee I order from a gourmet coffee roaster in L.A., which costs more than I’d like to admit. “I can bring you over some in the morning if you’d like.”
A teasing glint lights his gaze. “You sure you don’t mind sharing?”
I’m reminded of that one time about five years ago, when we had an actual wrestling match over the last cup of my special blend. We were laughing, just messing around, and then Hawk distracted me and pinned me to the ground. For a few seconds I just stared up at him, my heart racing and my skin on fire for his touch.
For a few seconds, I thought he might have actually felt the same.
Then he jumped up and conceded the coffee to me before making a quick excuse to leave. And I had to shove down my foolish hopes once again.
Realizing Hawk is still waiting for a response, I say with a smile, “No, I don’t mind.” And then I find myself offering, “If you want to stop by around eight, I could make something for breakfast. And share my coffee with you.”
An unreadable expression moves across his face. Then his eyes soften. “Thanks, Rhi. That would be really nice.”
My hopeful heart lifts.
Then we go silent as we leave the room, both caught in our own thoughts.
As Hawk follows me down the hallway towards the apartments, his hand brushes mine, sending a frisson of electricity up my arm.
Which I sternly command myself to ignore.
Still. I like having him here. Walking beside me. His scent wrapping around me. His presence so familiar and comforting even after so many years.
It feels like the missing part of me is back. And now that he’s here, it’s going to hurt so much worse when he leaves.
Unless…
Maybe this will end badly.
Maybe I’ll end up hurt. Depressed. Lonely.
But maybe…
Maybe this is the chance I’ve been waiting for.
Maybe, against all odds, I’ll get my best friend back again.