CHAPTER 14
HAWK
I hate this.
If it were up to me, none of this would be happening.
If it were up to me, I’d already have whisked Rhiannon off to some remote location—a deserted island, some cabin deep in the Alaskan bush, a damn boat in the middle of the ocean—where this asshole can’t get close to her. Rhi and I would get some much-needed time alone, and her team could work on solving the case without putting her life at risk.
Not that they’re pushing her to do this. Far from it.
Two days ago, when Rhi brought up the idea of setting a trap again, it was met with reluctance, and in Xavier’s case, outright rejection. “No,” he announced with a scowl. “I don’t think this whole bait plan is a good idea. Everyone is safe here. We’ve made sure of it. There’s no reason for you to leave.”
But Rhiannon was adamant. Another package had just arrived that morning, addressed to Sarah this time, and unlike the first, it contained an active bomb. It was detected before it got through the gate, and Erik easily disarmed it, but the damage—figuratively—was done.
“You promised you’d wait,” Niall added after Xavier finished speaking. “That you’d let Matt and Leo and Beth work on their investigation.”
“That was before,” she shot back. “But now he sent another bomb. A live one. What if he does something worse next time? What if he gets hold of a rocket launcher and fires it at the gate? It can’t hold up against that amount of force.”
Dante frowned. “I hardly think?—”
“But we don’t know .” Rhiannon glanced at me, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. “We can’t keep waiting. If I go out on my own, there’s a good chance he’ll come after me. And we can end this once and for all.”
Then, in a low, almost desperate tone, she held my gaze as she said, “The team has to stay here so anyone watching won’t get suspicious. But you could help, Hawk. Will you? Please?”
How could I say no?
I wanted to. Badly.
But I spent too damn long doing what I thought was best, and where did that get me?
And if I’m honest with myself, if I were in Rhi’s shoes, I’d insist on doing the same thing.
So I said yes.
And now I’m in a situation I never wanted to be in again. With Rhi in danger, and me not there to protect her.
It’s not for long, just the hour it takes for her to make the drive from Blade and Arrow to this rental house just south of Canyon Lake, but in my mind, any time apart is too much. Especially now, when my mind is jam-packed with terrible scenarios that end with Rhi getting hurt or even killed.
Even though it’s broad daylight, someone could run her off the road. Try to shoot out her tires. Or, shit, they could set up one of those spike strips if they get a hint of where she’s going.
Is it likely? No. But it’s possible.
That’s why I made one last-ditch plea with her this morning, asking her to wait just a little longer, to give her friends a few more days to come up with something. “It’s not that I don’t trust your skills,” I told her. “But there are too many variables. Too many ways this can go sideways.”
It was something I came to accept in the Army—that no matter how well planned out a mission was, more often than not, something went wrong. Luckily for us, our team made it through all the complications relatively unscathed. But that’s no guarantee the next time will be the same.
It’s not that the plan Rhi and her team came up with is a bad one.
After some discussion—once the team got on board—they settled on making it look like Rhiannon finally gave in. That she left B and A in an attempt to keep her friends safe, just like the notes in the packages demanded.
To create the illusion that Rhi’s on her own, first, I headed to the airport earlier today. I went as far as to buy a ticket and even check in, so to anyone watching, it would look like I’m on my way back to Alaska.
Ally one; gone. Or at least, so it seems.
I stuck around the airport for about an hour before TJ, one of the team’s friends in San Antonio and also a former Green Beret, picked me up and brought me to the rental house. We’d already scoped it out online to make sure it was the perfect spot—somewhat isolated from other homes nearby and surrounded by trees, so someone could approach the house without being seen by a neighbor.
In our plan, we don’t want anyone else involved. Not until we’ve caught this asshole. Then the police can have him.
A couple of hours later, Rhi left the ranch on her own, her car loaded with enough luggage to keep her for weeks. With Erik already in Kentucky, that left Dante, Niall, Matt, and Xavier behind at the ranch. As much as they wanted to be here when this all goes down, if they’d all left, it would be too suspicious.
So it’s just the two of us. Or it will be, once Rhiannon gets here, which should be soon. In the meantime, I’ve been installing hidden cameras and motion sensors inside the house, so if—when—this fucking asshole gets here, we’ll know right away.
Once she’s here, I’ll hide out in the bedroom with the blinds drawn, while Rhi roams the house making herself as visible as possible. And once night falls, that’s when we’re hoping this piece of shit makes his move.
It makes sense, given his tendency to attack from afar. He wouldn’t want to just waltz in here in broad daylight, not knowing how well-trained Rhi is. He’ll want to wait until he thinks she’s asleep. Until he thinks she’s vulnerable.
Shit. Even though I’m here, I still hate the thought of it. Some slimy chickenshit skulking around, thinking he’s going to hurt her when she’s least expecting it…
If he does show up, it’ll be really hard to not just kill him.
My jaw clenches, my molars grinding painfully. Nervous energy makes it impossible to sit still, so I jump up from the couch again. I’ve been up and down at least ten times in the last hour, checking the placement of the cameras, testing the motion sensors, and making sure all the video feeds are working properly. Matt’s texted me several times to assure me everything is fine—he’s watching from the ranch, along with the rest of the team—but it’s still not enough. I need to know for sure.
In the Army, I never got antsy like this. I was always in complete control. But this…
Shit. I just got Rhi back. I can’t lose her.
Just as I’m about to open the security app to check the feeds for approximately the twentieth time, the alarm sounds.
My heart jumps.
Then I look at the little video that appears on my phone, and my shoulders sag with relief.
Rhiannon .
She’s okay.
She frowns in concentration as she punches in the code on the keypad beside the door, and a moment later, the door swings open. I want to run to her, but now that she’s here, I can’t let myself be seen, so I linger in the hallway as I wait for her to come inside.
“Rhi.” It comes out on an exhaled breath. “You’re okay.”
The corner of her mouth lifts. “I am.”
Well, duh. It’s pretty clear she is. But I don’t think I truly realized how worried I was until she got here. “I wasn’t sure,” I admit quietly. “On the drive… something could have happened.”
She sets her duffel on the floor by the door and crosses the living room to meet me. As soon as she’s close enough, she wraps her arms around me and squeezes hard. Her lips brush against my neck. “I’m sorry, Hawk. I know you don’t like this. But I’m okay. Just like I told you I’d be.”
In truth, we both know damn well that’s no guarantee. But now that she’s here, tucked safely in my embrace, I’m more than willing to let it go. I press a kiss to her hair and say, “I feel a lot better now that you’re here.” Pausing, I lean back enough to meet her gaze. “Was the drive okay?”
Rhiannon nods. “Everything went just as we planned. I stopped at two gas stations and spent at least ten minutes at each. So there was plenty of time for someone to spot me.”
“Did you check the car for bombs?” A ridiculous question considering what she’s already been through, but I can’t stop the words from coming out.
Instead of calling me out on it, Rhi just smiles as she says patiently, “Yes. Of course.” Then her smile brightens. “But after the second stop, I found a tracker tucked into the wheel well. So someone is following me. And hopefully, they’ll make their move tonight.”
I’m torn between agreeing or wishing it never happens.
Yes, I’m here to have Rhi’s six. And with our combined skills, I’m confident we can take down anyone face-to-face. Guns don’t worry me, not after the hours of training on how to disarm an armed attacker. And that’s not even taking into account that Rhi and I are both highly-skilled marksmen.
Again, it’s the what-ifs that bother me.
What if this person opens fire from outside, peppering the house with thousands of bullets? What if they use a bomb? Set a fire? Shit, what if they run a damn car into the house?
“Hawk.” Rhiannon touches my cheek, her eyes softening as she looks at me. “Stop thinking the worst. It’s going to be okay. This guy—” She pauses. “Well, it could be a woman. But whoever it is, they’re no match for us.”
“I know.” And in any other circumstance, with anyone else, I wouldn’t even question it. It’s just…
This is Rhi. My Rhi. And I can’t bear the thought of her being hurt.
Framing my face with her hands, she stretches up to kiss me. When she pulls away, there’s guilt shadowing her gaze. “I’m sorry for asking you to do this. I didn’t realize?—”
“No. Don’t be sorry.” I hug her to me again. “Yes, I was worried. But I’m glad you asked me to help. I’d rather be here than back at the ranch, worrying about how you are.”
“I’m glad you’re here, too.” A beat, and then earnestly, “I love my team. I’d trust them with my life. But when it comes down to it, you’re the one I want to have my six.”
Oh.
Shit.
How does she lay open my heart so easily?
“I’ll always have your six.” But as I say it, guilt squeezes my chest. How can I say that when I wasn’t around for so long?
But. What did Rhi say? If we’re going to make this thing between us work, we need to move on from the past. Stop apologizing, accept what happened, and move on. Hopefully, together.
I take a deep breath, forcing my lungs to expand. Then I lift my chin. “So. I set up all the cameras and sensors. They’re all working, and Matt double checked.”
“Okay. That’s good.” Pausing, her teeth dig into her lip for a second. “I wonder if Matt had any luck with the security footage from the gas station. I didn’t want to park too close to the building in case it discouraged anyone from approaching. But maybe he caught something. If he gets even a partial image of a face, it could be enough to run facial recognition on.”
“Maybe,” I reply. What I don’t mention is that it won’t give us the proof we need. Sticking a tracker on someone’s car is no doubt illegal, but what we really need is concrete evidence tying this asshole to the bombs and shooting.
Rhiannon’s forehead creases, possibly as she has the same thought as me. “Well,” she finally adds, “I guess we should settle in.” Glancing at her watch, she continues, “Since it’s just past six, that leaves us well over two and a half hours before this guy would make his move. Assuming he’s not stupid enough to try something during the day.”
Which he’s probably not, considering how well he’s stayed hidden so far.
“Here’s what I’m thinking,” I reply. “Park in the garage and bring all your stuff inside. I’ll stay in the bedroom while you make it look like you’re unpacking.”
“And then I’ll come join you.” A smile curves her lips. “Not for the fun, sexy stuff, unfortunately, but we can watch a movie together. Maybe cuddle a little while we wait. That should be safe.”
Not safe enough for my taste—safe would be Rhi still behind two reinforced fences and bulletproof doors and windows back at B and A—but it’s a little late for that now. So I match her smile as I say, “A movie and cuddling sounds great.”
And it is. Mostly.
Once Rhiannon unloads the car and makes a big production of unpacking—past the open windows, of course—she makes a tray of snacks and heads into the bedroom. In there, hidden away from prying eyes, we snuggle together while we watch episodes of Bargain Block and discuss improvements we’d make to our own hypothetical house.
Which I really like the sound of, actually.
It’s kind of crazy, when I think about it. Not living with Rhi; that sounds pretty appealing. But that I’m even in a position to consider it. For so many years, I thought my dreams of a future with Rhiannon were just that. A dream. And now?
I’m so close to making them a reality. And I think that’s why I’m so scared.
“Hawk?” Rhiannon glances away from the TV to look at me. Her eyebrows arch up in question. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. Why?”
“Because your body just got all tense. And I can practically hear your teeth grinding.”
She’s right. I didn’t realize it, but I’m clenching my jaw so hard I’m giving myself a headache. I forcibly relax my jaw and give her what I hope is a reassuring smile. “I’m fine. Really.”
Although, if I make it through all this without needing serious dental work, it’ll be a miracle.
“Hawk.” It’s gently scolding. “Remember. We aren’t keeping secrets. Even when they’re kept because we think they might upset the other person.”
“I know.” Shifting around on the mattress, I pull her onto my lap and cuddle her against me. Holding Rhi like this isn’t something I ever thought she’d allow me to do—she’s so independent and strong, I thought she might not like it—but to my pleasant surprise, she does.
Her lips brush across my cheek. “I get it. The later it gets, the more on edge I am, too. Not that I’m nervous, exactly. It’s the waiting that gets to me.”
“Yeah.” But it’s not just the waiting that bothers me. It’s the unknown. It’s the fear, despite logic telling me everything should be okay.
What if I make a mistake? What if things don’t go according to plan? What if? What if? What if?
It’s enough to drive me crazy.
I would sacrifice myself for Rhi in a second. But if I die without ever telling her how I feel…
Shit. She’ll never know how much I love her. I’ve been so convinced I need to wait. To make sure she trusts me. But…
What if I wait too long and I lose my chance?
“Hawk?” Her brows pull into a worried V. “You don’t look okay. You look even more upset now. Was it something I said?”
“I love you.”
Oh. Shit. That’s not how I meant it to come out.
“What?”
“I’m sorry,” I hurry to add. “Not that I said it. But that I said it like that.”
Rhiannon looks at me in confusion. “Like how?”
“Here. Now.” Clasping her hands in mine, I take a steadying breath, feeling more nervous than I’ve ever been. “I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you. I wanted you to believe me when I said it. And I wanted it to be romantic, with flowers and candles and?—”
“Why wouldn’t I believe you?”
“Because I know you don’t completely trust me yet. You’re still afraid I’ll leave. I won’t. But I know it’ll take time to convince you. And that’s okay. I understand. However long it takes, I’ll do it. That’s why I was going to wait. But now…”
Rhiannon stares at me as tiny lines form between her eyes. “I trust you, Hawk. I always have.”
“But you’re afraid I’ll leave again. And that’s on me.”
“Part of me is a little scared,” she admits. “But. I’ve been without you. It sucked. A lot. So I’m willing to take on that fear. Sometimes life is scary, but that doesn’t mean you hide from it.”
“Rhi.” My heart wrenches. “I don’t want you to be afraid to be with me.”
“I don’t mean it like that. I think… relationships can be scary. Putting yourself out there, knowing your heart could get broken. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take a chance. And Hawk—” Swallowing hard, Rhiannon pauses before continuing, “Of anything in my life, of anyone I know, you’re worth taking the chance. Because I love you, too.”
Oh.
I’ve never heard more beautiful words.
Rhiannon holds my gaze, her eyes dark and filled with emotion. “You’re worth any risk, Hawk. I love you.”
“Oh, Rhi.” Gathering her close, I press kisses all over her face as I commit this moment to memory. “I’m not perfect. I curse too much. I’m not gentle and sensitive like some of the other guys. And I’ll make mistakes. Piss you off sometimes. But I promise, I won’t let you down again.”
That’s a promise I’ll take to my dying breath.
As she looks at me, her expression softens. “It’s okay if you make mistakes. I know I will, too. But as long as we’re together, we can deal with anything. I’m sure of it.”
My heart.
How could I have ever left her to begin with?
How could I have lived so long with a part of my heart missing?
“We’ll make this work.” Cupping her cheek, I capture her lips with mine. First kissing her slowly, tenderly, showing her everything I don’t have the words to explain. Then more passionately, allowing the hunger I’ve tamped down for years to escape.
As we kiss, Rhiannon turns so she’s facing me, her legs tucked on either side of mine. She twines her arms around me, holding on tight. Her nipples are hard, visible even through her shirt, and the heat of her core sears into me.
I’m achingly hard, almost impossibly so.
I thought I knew what it was like to want her. But now I really know.
This is the most perfect feeling. Holding the woman I love with all my heart and knowing she loves me, too. Knowing that after everything, she’s still willing to be mine.
When we finally break the kiss, Rhi is pink-cheeked and breathing hard. For a few seconds, she doesn’t say anything. She just looks at me, her love a visible thing.
It’s not the right place. The right time. But I want to make love to her so badly it hurts.
Still. For just a moment, I consider it. We have alarms. Motion sensors. Cameras. We would know if anyone approached.
But before it becomes more than a flicker of thought, Rhiannon’s phone chimes with an incoming text.
Still in my arms, she stiffens. “It’s the team.”
I swipe the phone from the mattress and hand it to her. “Maybe Matt found something at the gas station.”
But a glance out the window tells me it’s something more sinister than that. The sun is well below the horizon and the sky is speckled with stars. Dark enough for things that go bump in the night, as my grandmother used to say. And dark enough for murderous assholes to make their move.
Rhiannon sucks in a breath before she taps on the screen.
A beat later, her features go rigid. A muscle in her jaw twitches.
She types out a quick message, then sets the phone back on the bed and turns to me. “Matt said he spotted a car just turning into the driveway. With the headlights off.”
Hating to do it, but knowing it’s necessary, I lift Rhi off of me and set her to the side. My chin lifts as I meet her serious gaze. “Okay. Let’s do this, then.” I lean down to give her a hard and fast kiss. “And after it’s over, I’m going to take you home and show you how much I love you.”
Despite the urgency of the situation, Rhiannon smiles. “I can’t wait to show you how much I love you, too.”