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fifty

Olive

“Snacks are ready!” Ella chimes as I walk into the living room.

I laugh at the massive display laid out on the coffee table. “Ell, there are literally two of us. There’s no way we can eat all of this.”

“Leftovers, babe,” she chuckles as she snags a slice of pizza.

The Stars are about to start their season, which means it’s only Ella and me right now. The guys are all obviously getting ready to play, and the rest of the girls, including Sage, are traveling with them because of their various positions.

I grab a slice of pizza for myself before I sit down next to Ella on the sofa, tucking my legs up under me.

“It’s so funny to me that you eat olives on your pizza, Liv,” she laughs.

I pluck off a black olive from my slice and pop it into my mouth. “Lane had pretty much the same reaction. I’ve just always really liked olives, though.”

“Lane seems to really like olives, too,” Ella smirks, gaze pointed at me.

“What a segue,” I chuckle. “I’m inclined to agree, though.”

“Did you tell him about the ‘mom’ thing?”

“Didn’t have to,” I shrug. “When Lane came back Friday night, Sage called me Mommy right in front of him.”

“What did he think about that?” she prods, eager for more information.

I grin at the thought. “He was so happy, Ell. Just genuine joy.”

“Oh, I just love that for you both,” Ella smiles. “Does Sage know you guys are together yet?”

“Yeah, we told her that night. He kissed me in front of her, so the cat was kinda out of the bag anyway.” I fidget with my shirt sleeves as I remember what else happened. “But there was something else, too…”

“Oh?” She cocks her eyebrow in curiosity.

“Lane, uh… told me he loved me.”

“What?!” Ella screeches, a smile lighting up her face.

“Sage calling me her mom did him in. He couldn’t hold it back anymore.” I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. “I didn’t say it back, though…”

She flashes me a sympathetic smile. “You know that’s okay, right? Some people take longer to realize their feelings than others.”

I groan and flop back against the sofa. “I think I do know how I feel, though. I love him. I love Lane.”

“Why do you think you weren’t able to tell him then?”

“I don’t know,” I admit. “When I tried to apologize for not saying it back, he told me that I need to admit I love myself first.”

“Spot on, Lane,” Ella chuckles. “He’s right. You can’t love somebody else if you don’t have love for yourself.”

“I used to have nothing but contempt for myself, honestly,” I sigh. “But I’ve been doing so much better. I’ve made friends. I’m trying new things. I’m happy. I’m just really happy with my life now.”

Ella wraps her arm around my shoulders and brings me in for a side hug. “Liv, it sounds to me like you might love yourself a little bit.”

I can’t help but smile. “Yeah, I think maybe I do.”

“Okay, I’ve heard about the sappy side.” She smirks at me, mischief in her eyes. “Now I want to hear about the far more fun one.”

“Oh,” I mumble. “We still haven’t slept together.”

“I figured that since you never told us you did. But Liv, you’ve had a gleam in your eye lately. I know you guys have gone farther than what you’ve told us.”

“Damn,” I say uneasily. “I thought Lucia would be the one to pry.”

She throws her head back and laughs. “I’m just as bad as she is. I’m just less blunt about it.”

“I get the feeling you’re all that way.”

“Not Lo.” Ella shakes her head. “She’ll be curious as hell, but she almost never pesters for information. So we do it for her. But you’re deflecting now, Finch.”

I smile and laugh. “Thought I could get out of it. Lane and I haven’t slept together, but I think we’ve done just about everything else.”

“Like?” she prods.

“Like I learned I like his tongue a hell of a lot more than I like his fingers.”

Ella practically cackles. “Fucking get it, girl!”

“He just makes me so comfortable. After everything I’ve been through, I didn’t know I’d ever be comfortable enough to be intimate with a man, but Lane changed all of that. We take everything one step at a time.”

“Lane is such a good guy,” she smiles, “and I’m so glad he found you. You two are so perfect together.”

“I feel like I get to finally be myself.”

“So, do you want to have sex with him?”

“Wow, you are as bad as Lucia,” I chuckle before taking a deep breath. “Yeah, I do.”

“Liv!” Ella says excitedly. “That’s so big for you!”

“I know,” I smile softly. “But the more time we spend together, the more I want him. All of him. And I want him to have all of me, too.”

“I know we haven’t known you for long,” she states, placing her hand on top of mine, “but we’ve all seen a change in you, too. You were much quieter when we met you, but you’ve really been opening up. The girls and I all love how you’re comfortable with us, too.”

I grin widely. “I’m honestly so grateful for you girls. After that group of friends I had in high school, I didn’t think I’d trust anyone enough to make friends again. But I absolutely love you all. You’re amazing, and I’ve never felt out of place.”

“You never will be out of place, Liv. You’re one of us, and we all take care of each other.”

Ella and I turn our attention to the TV now as the game is starting, but I mull over her words.

You’re one of us.

The friends I had in high school I never really felt connected with; I just didn’t realize it at the time.

But now I have all these people around me.

I finally feel like I belong.

Freshly showered and clean, I slip under the covers and rest my head on my pillow. I scroll on my phone for a few minutes before a call comes through.

“Hi, baby,” I say happily, bringing the phone to my ear.

“Damn, you’re already busting out ‘baby.’ Was I a good boy?” Lane chuckles.

“Well, you do call me a good girl. Seems like I’d want a good boy.”

I hear him groan on the other end. “Okay, enough of that. My daughter is asleep on the other bed, so I can’t do anything right now.”

“You poor thing,” I tease lightly. “Stars had a great game tonight.”

“Did you watch?” I can hear the excitement in his voice.

“I went over to Ella’s; we watched together. She’s happy to have someone with her when all of you are at away games.”

“Well, what did you learn when you watched, Liv?”

“That baseball uniforms are hot as hell,” I laugh.

Ella showed me a picture of their white home uniforms, but the away uniforms they wore today were even better.

Navy jersey with Stars across the chest paired with gray baseball pants.

Lane and a few others opted for the cropped pants and tall navy socks.

He looked so fucking good.

“Mmm, you get to see me in my uniform on Friday, baby.”

I bite my lip at the thought. “Can’t wait, Hotshot. For the uniform and the game. I’m really excited to go to my first game.”

“I still can’t believe you grew up in New York City with a brother who’s a huge Stars fan, and you’ve never been to a game,” he chuckles, likely shaking his head.

“Then you’ll need to make sure my first game is memorable, Lane. Gotta keep me wanting to come back.”

“I already got you great seats. Think you’ll come back if I hit a home run for you?”

“Yeah, I think I could manage that,” I smile.

“Anything to keep you coming back.” I hear him take a deep breath. “God, I miss you, Liv.”

“I miss you, too, Lane. But I’ll see you in a few days.”

“You know, I haven’t had anybody to come home to since I came up to the Majors. Sage travels with us, and I haven’t had a girlfriend in so long.”

“And now?” I ask breathily, knowing the answer.

“Now I do,” he replies softly. “And I can’t wait to come home and see you again.”

I smile and sink into my pillow, my heart fluttering in my chest.

Lane is always so honest with me, and I never have to question what he’s thinking.

I think that’s what I’ve always needed.

I need someone that won’t keep anything from me. It’s hard for me to trust, but Lane has already earned all of mine.

He’s the perfect man.

And I think I might love him a little bit more than I did this morning.