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forty-seven

Olive

Olive

Can you guys meet me for coffee?

Violet

Sure, Liv

Everything okay?

Olive

I don’t know

I kinda feel like I’m spiraling

Harvey

Does this have anything to do with my favorite center fielder?

Olive

Quit fanboying over my boyfriend, Harv

Violet

Boyfriend?!

Olive

…

Harvey

Oh my God

My baby sister is dating Lane fucking Brooks

Does anyone else hear wedding bells?

Olive

HARVEY

Don’t be so weird about this

Violet

We’ll meet you at Urban Grind soon, Liv

And I’m sure the only wedding bells we’ll hear will be the ones at the chapel around the corner

Olive

I already regret my decision…

“Okay,” Violet says, setting our drinks down on the table between Harvey and me. “A black coffee for Harv, a caramel latte for Liv, and a flat white for me.” She slides into the seat next to Harvey so they’re both sitting across from me. “Now, what’s this about you dating Lane?”

“Wow, we’re starting in on this right off the bat,” I laugh uneasily.

“‘Off the bat,’ huh?” Harvey teases.

I just roll my eyes. “You both know Lane and I have been seeing each other for a couple months.”

“Unofficially,” Vi smirks.

I sigh. “Fine, we were unofficially seeing each other, but we kind of always acted like a couple. We spent as much time together as we could, we went on dates, we kissed quite a bit…”

Vi raises her eyebrow knowingly. “Anything else?”

I feel my cheeks flush. “And there have been some… other things as well.”

“Do I want to know what these other things are?” Harvey asks, a disgusted look on his face.

“No, I don’t think you do,” I chuckle. “But seeing as I have you guys here to help me, you’re going to learn anyway.” I take a deep breath to steady myself. “We haven’t had sex, but we’ve done just about everything else.”

Harvey scrunches his face up. “I really didn’t need to know that.”

“Oh, come on,” I chide. “Don’t act like I don’t know what you get up to with Michelle.”

“What makes you think Chelle and I do anything?”

I look at him in disbelief. “You live together, Harv. I might be a bit naive, but I wasn’t born yesterday.”

“She isn’t taking your shit, Harv.” Violet elbows him, laughing while she does.

Harvey rolls his eyes and moves on. “As much as I like Lane, I also know what you’ve been through, Liv. He isn’t forcing you, right?”

“Oh, God no!” I reply emphatically. “Lane is extremely patient and understanding. He knows everything that happened. We, uh, actually ran into Jake a few weeks ago.”

“And you didn’t call me to come kick his ass?” Harvey says, offended.

“We had it taken care of,” I shrug. “Lane immediately came in to defend me, and then I stood up for myself after that.”

“You did?” Violet’s eyes widen in surprise.

“Yes. I wasn’t going to let him gaslight me into thinking that was sex, which is exactly what he tried to do.” When I think of what happened after, I have to bite back my grin. “And then I had him cowering when I told him he’s the reason I can’t have kids.”

“You told him about that?” Harvey asks.

“I did. He never has and never will face repercussions for what he did. I want him to be haunted by the damage he caused me. And it felt so good to get it off my chest.”

“Oh my God, Liv!” Vi exclaims. “I’m so proud of you.”

“I’m proud of me, too,” I admit. “I’m tired of living with the memory looming over my head. To move past it, I have to be able to let it go, and I can’t let it go if I’m still keeping it all in.”

“What did Lane have to say after all of this?”

“He tried to apologize,” I chuckle. “He said he doesn’t normally act like that. Then he told me how he loved watching me stand up for myself and tell him everything I was thinking. After that, we talked about what he had said to Jake.”

“What did he say to him?” Harvey looks at me curiously.

I smile widely. “When Jake asked how we knew each other, he told him I was his girlfriend. We hadn’t discussed that yet, but as soon as he said it, I knew that there was no reason to hold back anymore. I could tell he wasn’t saying that just to get Jake to back off. In his mind, it was true.”

“And now it really is true,” Vi says sweetly.

“Is that why you’re spiraling, then?” Harvey questions. “Because you ran into Jake recently?”

“No,” I reply. “I haven’t even thought much about Jake since. I’m finally putting him out of my mind. There are… other things on my mind, though.”

Violet takes a sip of her coffee. “Like?”

“Like, um… hisdaughtercalledmehermomandImightbeinlovewithhim.”

“Okay, let’s try this again,” Harvey laughs, “but use real words this time.”

I sigh in defeat. “Sage called me her mom yesterday, and I think I might be in love with Lane.”

“She called you her mom?!” Violet practically spits out her drink.

“Yeah, and she doesn’t even know I’m dating her dad. She just thinks of me as her mom.”

“Did you tell Lane she said that?” Harvey asks.

“No,” I breathe. “What if he doesn’t like that? We’ve only been dating for a few weeks.”

“But you’ve known Sage since fall,” Vi states. “You really must be incredible with her if she’s already saying you’re her mom.”

Harvey’s look turns serious as he asks me the question that I’m surprised no one has asked yet. “Liv, do you want to be her mom?”

“Can I even decide that this soon? I mean, I know I love her, and she’s the sweetest little girl I’ve met. But it all seems too fast.”

Violet places her hand on top of mine in comfort. “Life doesn’t run on the same timeline for everybody. Only you can decide how you feel about it.”

I let the words resonate and sink in, figuring out what I actually feel.

So, I picture my future.

I think about what my life might look like in five, ten, fifteen years, and every single vision features the same thing: Lane, Sage… and me.

Five years from now, she loses a tooth and excitedly shows us so we can make sure it’s secure for the Tooth Fairy.

Ten years from now, she’s embarrassed that her dad is talking to her date for the school dance and is grateful when mom diverts his attention.

Fifteen years from now, she’s graduating high school, and Lane and I cry together as we now have to send her to college in the fall.

They’re both in the future I envision for myself, the future I want to have.

And I think that answers the question.

“I think I might like the idea,” I admit.

Harvey smiles at me. “Then it sounds to me like life is giving you another way to be a mother, Liv. We know how much you wanted that.”

“The universe had you two meet for a reason,” Vi adds. “You were meant to fall in love with both of them, and they were meant to fall in love with you.”

“You sound like Luna,” I laugh.

“My wife knows what she’s talking about,” she shrugs.

I breathe out a laugh. “You guys don’t think this is too soon?”

“I don’t,” Harvey smiles. “Liv, you’re happy for the first time in six years. I know Lane isn’t the entire reason for that, but he’s definitely part of it.”

I eye him teasingly. “Are you just saying that because you want me to keep dating your favorite baseball player?”

He throws his head back and laughs. “No, I’m saying that as your big brother. But I definitely don’t mind you keeping him around.”

I came here today because I was nervous and spiraling, but my brother and sister always knew how to talk me down. They may be a good bit older than me, but I love the relationship I have with them.

And I love that, thanks to them, I get to walk out of here today with a smile on my face and the acceptance that nothing is too soon.

I love both Sage and Lane, and the future is looking so much brighter.