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twenty-nine

Olive

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Lane asks for the third time since we stood up from the sofa.

“Yes,” I breathe, trying to maintain a semblance of composure as he closes the bedroom door behind us.

Am I sure that I want this? Yes.

Am I nervous as hell about it? Also yes.

Nervous as I am, though, I know I want Lane to be the one to do this. He’s shown me nothing but consideration and compassion since we met, and I know I can trust him wholeheartedly.

Lane takes a deep breath and leads us over to his bed, gently laying me down with my head on the pillows. He slides in right next to me.

I take a deep breath. “Are you really okay with this, Lane? Maybe it was weird that I asked at all.”

“No, I promise I’m okay with this, Liv.” He flashes me a reassuring smile.

“You just caught me off guard before. My only concern is making sure you’re comfortable with all of this.

I’m here to teach you. That means I’ll be talking you through it, but you’ll be doing all the work while I watch. Is that still okay?”

“Do I need to… take my clothes off?” I ask, suddenly feeling very exposed.

He places a hand on my cheek and kisses me softly. “No. We’re going to take all of this slowly. Step by step, you’ll learn how to take care of yourself and make all things associated with sex enjoyable for you. All you’re going to need right now is your hand. Your clothing stays on.”

“Okay,” I reply, letting out a breath and feeling calmer. “So, what do I need to do?”

“First, you need to make sure you’re ready. You’re going to need to be turned on. That’ll make it easier and more enjoyable for you. Now, I promise I’m asking this solely in order to help you, but are you turned on right now, Olive?”

I bite my lip and shake my head. “Not really. Asking you to do this kind of killed anything I was feeling before.”

Lane laughs and brushes my hair behind my ear. “Since you asked me to help you with this, I’m going to assume that I’ve already been able to turn you on. So, let me help you.”

He sits up and grabs his shirt by the collar at the back of his neck, pulling it over his head.

“Fuck…”

He smirks at me. “It’s already helping, isn’t it?” I nod. “Do you ever get turned on when we kiss?”

“Yes,” I say softly.

“I was really hoping you’d say that.”

Lane’s lips are on mine in an instant. His kisses this time are more insistent and demanding, and oh God, is that working for me already. His tongue strokes against mine as he splays his hand over my hip.

When he nips my bottom lip, I involuntarily let out a soft moan. He groans, and I can feel how hard he is as he presses against my leg.

“Lane… you’re…”

“Hard, Olive,” he smirks. “You make me so fucking hard. Don’t worry about it, though. This is about you. I can take care of myself later.”

I don’t have a chance to respond before Lane starts pressing kisses down my neck. “Oh God…”

He trails kisses back up my neck before gently biting my earlobe and whispering against it. “You’re turned on now, aren’t you, baby?”

I might always be turned on if he keeps talking to me in that husky tone.

“Yes,” I reply, not as ashamed to admit that as I thought I’d be.

“Perfect,” he murmurs against my skin. “What you need to do now is slide your hand under your leggings and settle it between your legs.” I take a deep breath before my shaking hand lifts the hem of my white sweater and starts slipping under the waistband of my leggings.

“You’re trembling, baby. Don’t be nervous. ”

“I’m trying. It just feels a little… weird.”

“You don’t need to feel weird about this, Liv. All of this is completely natural.”

I nod as I take some deep breaths to settle my racing heart. “What do I do now?”

“Take your middle finger and slide it in your pussy. You’re going to move it in and out, and you’re going to get wetter as you do.”

After one more deep breath, I do as I’m instructed, sliding my middle finger inside myself before thrusting it in and out.

“Ohhh…”

“Does that feel good?”

“Yes, but I knew it would. I’ve done this before; I just haven’t been able to… come.”

Lane’s tone is commanding. “That ends tonight. You’re going to have your first orgasm tonight, baby, and it’s going to be hot as hell.

” He places several more kisses on my lips before speaking again.

“You can use two or more fingers for this, but I think you should stick with one for now. It’ll let you get used to it before trying more. ”

“Okay,” I whimper.

“Now, what I want you to do is take your thumb and find your clit.”

“Right,” I say, thankful I paid attention in health class when I was younger. With my middle finger still moving at a rhythmic pace, I find my clit with my thumb. As soon as I touch the sensitive bundle of nerves, my hips buck off the bed. “Oh fuck…”

“There you go. That’s it, Olive. That feels really good, doesn’t it?”

“Yes,” I moan. “Oh God, Lane…”

His breathing is more rapid as he watches my hand move, though he can’t actually see what I’m doing.

“You’re doing such a good job, Ballerina,” Lane coos, resting his hand on my lower abdomen. “Just look at you. You’re such a good girl, listening to what I’m telling you.”

Oh, I think I like being called that.

My head sinks further into the pillows. “This feels so good.”

“Good,” he praises. “You’re doing so great, baby. I love getting to see you. I love getting to watch you take part of yourself back.”

I moan again, louder this time. “Lane!”

“Are you feeling a tingling? Low in your abdomen and making its way down?” I open my mouth to reply, but no words come out, so I nod instead. “Do you know what that means?”

“N-no,” I sigh.

Lane starts rubbing his hand over my belly. “That means you’re close to climaxing. You’re about to have your first orgasm, Olive. And I can’t wait to watch you come undone.”

With his gentle encouragement as I fight for release, I finally reach my peak, tipping over for the first time in my life. I cry out his name, and once my climax ebbs out, I sink into the mattress.

“That…” I say, breathing still heavy. “Wow.”

“God, you’re so pretty. I could watch you come every day, Liv. You’re fucking perfect.”

I look at him with a lazy smile, satisfaction coursing through me. “Seems like I had a good teacher.”

Lane laughs heartily before pulling me closer with his arms wrapped around me.

“I’m so fucking proud of you, Olive. You asked for what you wanted tonight, and you took ownership of your first orgasm.

After everything you’ve been through, this is a huge milestone for you. You should be proud of yourself, too.”

“I am,” I smile.

And I really am.

Jake destroyed my innocence and left me broken, but I’ll put myself back together piece by piece.

And one day, I’ll be whole again, and his hold over me will have all but vanished.