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twenty

Olive

So, it turns out Shirtless Lane is dangerous.

Was he carved from fucking stone? I didn’t know anyone could have muscles like that.

I’ve thought he was cute since I first met him, but now that I know what’s hiding underneath, I can fully understand why he has a kid. He’s hot.

Seeing him like that gave me that unfamiliar sensation in my lower abdomen again. The same one I felt at Sage’s lesson earlier this week.

Is it possible that I know what that feeling is? Yes. But I’m so repressed sexually that I can’t say for sure.

I’m in my twenties, but I feel so far behind all my peers. The past six years have done such a number on me.

True to what Lane said last night, he kissed the hell out of me when we woke up this morning.

God, I like kissing him.

I’ve been closed off for so long, but kissing Lane makes me feel alive.

I hardly know him, but he sees me. He gets me. I can’t help but feel completely at ease with him, and it means everything that he seems to care so much about me.

While I play the memories in my head, I rinse yesterday away under a stream of water in Lane’s en-suite bathroom.

I’m taking a minute to myself as well.

I have so much fun with Lane, but I’m still nervous that this is going too fast. I didn’t even know him a month ago, and now I’m here wondering if he’s going to kiss me again when I walk into the living room.

And I’m hoping that he does.

This doesn’t feel like me. I’m not one to take risks. I’m the girl who sits back and watches life pass her by.

But I’m tired of being that girl.

That’s the girl who wasted six years by sheltering herself from the outside world.

I want to be the girl who makes the first move and kisses the man she can’t stop thinking about.

I want to be the girl who owns up to how much she likes the hot baseball player.

I want to be the girl who’s comfortable enough to give in to her desires, but I don’t think I’m quite to that one yet.

If I ever get to that, though, it’s going to be with Lane Brooks. I have no doubt about that.

When I’m finally clean, I step out of the shower and dry myself off.

Lane gave me another T-shirt of his to wear since I didn’t bring any extra clothing with me to this unexpected sleepover.

Thankfully, this shirt is longer than the one I wore to bed, so I don’t need to wear my tights again.

Honestly, this shirt has to be large on Lane if it’s so big on me—it’s not like I’m short.

But that’s benefitting me right now, so I can’t say I really mind.

I use my fingers to brush my hair out, letting it fall to my chest as it drenches the shoulders of the shirt. I walk out of the bathroom and into Lane’s bedroom and head to his door, but I hear laughter as I do.

It sounds like Lane is laughing with somebody in the living room. Is Sage home already? She must be because I can’t think of anybody else who would be here at eight in the morning on a Sunday.

When I step into the hall, though, I recognize the other person’s voice, and it’s very much not his daughter. I step softly toward the living room until I see two heads over the back of the sofa.

Sure enough, my brother is sitting right next to Lane.

“Harvey?” I ask, walking out to join them. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Mom said you didn’t go home last night, and you know how much she worries. I tracked your phone to find you and ease her mind.”

I stare at him. “Do you realize how fucking creepy that is, Harv? What the hell?”

“He’s just looking out for you, Ballerina,” Lane says, turning to face me for the first time since I stepped out here.

I don’t miss the way his eyes leer over my bare legs, and I suddenly feel like I’m on fire. When his eyes meet mine, I can feel the heat coming off of them. I feel like I need another shower. A cold one.

I shake my head to compose myself. “He can look out for me without acting like a stalker,” I chide, padding across the room and plopping into the chair beside them.

“What are you wearing, Liv?” Harvey questions, raising his eyebrow in amusement.

I can feel the blush creeping up my neck and across my cheeks. “I didn’t plan on coming here last night, so I didn’t have any clothing with me. I’m just wearing this until I get ready to go home in a bit.”

“Looks good on you, though,” Lane rasps. The confidence this man has is unbelievable. He’s brazenly flirting with me in front of my brother, who probably hears wedding bells since he’ll want to keep his favorite baseball player in the family.

“Why did you come here last night then if you weren’t planning on it?”

“Oh,” I stammer. “We were at our friends’ surprise engagement party. It was late, so I just came here for the night.”

Lane leans back with his arms spread across the top of the sofa, a smug look on his face. “After she kissed me, that is.”

Harvey stares at me in surprise. “She what?”

I lean forward and pinch the bridge of my nose. “I had no intention of telling him that, Lane.”

“Might as well just get it out of the way now,” he smirks. “He’s going to see me kiss you again before you leave.”

I groan with my head in my hands. “You’re way too honest.”

He shrugs. “No sense in hiding the truth.”

I have to get used to Lane’s openness, but I can’t deny how nice it is for him to confidently express his interest in me.

I think I like Lane a lot more than I realized…

“So why did you want to grab lunch?” Ella asks, taking a sip of her water.

After I pried Harvey away from my… Lane, I stopped home briefly to apologize to my parents about forgetting to text them last night and to change into something that didn’t make me look like I was doing a walk of shame.

Then, I texted the girls to invite them to lunch because I really needed to talk all of this out.

All but Harlow came, but that’s to be expected since she literally just got engaged last night.

“I just…” I sigh. “I need to talk. My mind is swirling, and I’m having a hard time grasping everything.”

“What does that mean?” Lucia questions.

“It’s just… Lane.”

“What about Lane?” Rory looks at me with slight concern. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” I reply honestly. “Truthfully, it’s more than okay. I, uh… kissed him last night.”

Ella’s eyes go wide. “You did?! Fucking get it, girl!”

“When did you kiss him?” Lucia looks at me excitedly.

“Once we left the party. He walked me to his car, and I finally asked him if he was going to kiss me in the kitchen before Rory walked in. When he said he was, I just leaned up and kissed him.”

“How cute!” Rory squeals. “What happened after that?”

“Then we kissed some more. I decided I didn’t want to go home yet, so we went back to his place. We pretty much made out the rest of the night before we fell asleep.”

“So you stayed with him, huh?” Ella teases.

“Yes,” I breathe. “But we didn’t go further than kissing.”

I figure I won’t tell them about how I accidentally made him hard twice as well.

Rory’s smile is so broad. “So what does this mean for you two?”

“I have no idea,” I admit. “It’s not easy for me to open up, but Lane is being patient with me. I think we’re just seeing where it goes.”

“I just love this,” Lucia grins. “Lane is such a good guy, and you’re so sweet. I know Sage adores you, too. It’s a perfect pairing.”

I throw my hands up. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. He’s still nine years older than me, so who knows what he actually sees with me.”

Rory places her hand on top of mine. “Liv, Lane does not do this. He’s literally trying everything he can to keep seeing you. You may have an age gap, but he absolutely does not care about that.”

“It doesn’t really bother me either,” I admit. “When he told me he was thirty-two, I thought it would, but the more I get to know him, the more I realize that the years between us don’t matter at all. I like him. I really like him.”

“He likes you, too,” Ella smiles. “Man’s got it bad.”

I bite down my grin. I know they’re right, but it’s nice to hear that this isn’t all in my head.

When I let myself think about how incredible last night was, I get that foreign sensation again. The one I think I know, but I’m not sure.

But I’m with three ladies right now who I’m sure won’t judge me for asking.

“So, I have a question. It’s going to show how naive and sheltered I am, but I really just need to know.”

“What is it?” Rory looks at me curiously.

I let out a breath. “I, uh, keep getting this feeling when I’m with Lane. Kind of low in my abdomen.”

They all look at me, hiding amused smiles, meaning I’m on the right track with what I was thinking.

God, this is embarrassing.

“And when do you feel that?” Ella asks, a wicked gleam in her eye.

“When he’s flirting with me. When we’re kissing.

And when I’m thinking about him, it seems. I’m mortified to even be asking because I might already know the answer, but I’ve been through far more than anyone knows.

I pretty much avoid the topic of sex altogether. So I guess I just need confirmation.”

Lucia looks as excited as a kid whose parents told them to pick whatever they wanted at the candy store. “Can I tell her? Please?!”

Rory laughs. “Have at it, Luc.”

She turns to me now. “Olive, you’re horny.”

I choke on my water. Is that the answer I was expecting? Yes. Did I expect Lucia to practically shout it so brazenly in a cafe full of people? Absolutely not.

“Well, I think I’m going to go find that hole to fall into after all. Holy hell, this is embarrassing.”

“Hey,” Rory says reassuringly. “Don’t feel embarrassed. You don’t know everything about sex, and that’s okay. You’ve alluded to shutting yourself out from everything for quite a while, so I imagine there are a lot of things you’re just now experiencing.”

“Don’t feel bad about it at all,” Ella adds. “We’re a safe space. You won’t see any judgment from us. Harlow, either.”

“Thank you,” I say softly, still no doubt bright red right now.

“I do get it, though,” Lucia smirks. “Lane’s never been my type, but he certainly is a good-looking man.”

“You should see him without a shirt, then,” I say with a light laugh. “He’s so hot.”

Lucia laughs enthusiastically. “Look at you, Liv! Already getting more comfortable. I fucking love it.”

I just smile at the three women with me. My friends .

Meeting Rory during Sage’s lessons was one of the best things that happened to me. It led me to these women before me and the one at home still celebrating her engagement. My mom encouraging me to take over teaching Sage has done so much for me.

It also led me to Lane.

Yes, we met the day before, but without the ballet studio, I’m not sure we ever would have crossed paths again. But in a matter of weeks, he’s gone from a stranger to someone I can see myself falling for.

For six years, I was closed off.

I used to think that time was wasted, but now I know it was needed. Without it, I wouldn’t be surrounded by the people I am now. My friends and their partners. Lane and Sage.

I wouldn’t trade my relationships with each of them for anything.