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Chapter Eight

Roan

A fter ten years away from my home, I’d gotten a lousy handful of days back before we abandoned it for good. It should have been easy for me to leave, and I pretended it was. But the truth was more complicated.

I’d spent the last decade thinking that the southern village was what I wanted.

I missed my family—Rahv and my sisters—and I missed the places where I used to run as a boy.

The cliffs had grown larger and more impressive in my mind, the open spaces vaster and the sun brighter.

They were the things that the Hinterlands bore less of, so it made a kind of sense that I’d exaggerate them in my memories.

I’d thought home was going to bring me back some piece of myself, something I had lost or forgotten about—but it hadn’t.

The cliffs had just been cliffs, the sun, just the sun.

The open spaces had tickled the memories of the boy I’d once been, but it felt distant.

Almost out of reach. This was no longer home, I realized.

I felt it like a cold rock in the pit of my stomach.

At some point, this place had lost its familiarity to me, and there would be no getting it back.

We were sailing away again, this time never to return.

This time with Fenli.

Except that she was missing .

When it came time to board the boats and head north, she alone was nowhere to be found.

We searched everywhere.

“What the hell?” Baer ground out. “How do you just lose your wife?”

“It’s not like I misplaced her,” I shot back.

She’d been in her bed when I’d woken early and headed out to see to the last of my jobs. When I went back for her later, both she and the dog had been gone.

“You’ll deal with this yourself, and you’ll do it quietly.

” He took a step closer and lowered his voice.

“There’s been talk. No one dares say it to me, but I have ears all the same.

There are those who think she shouldn’t be here, that we should send her back to Runehall, and if they knew about this—”

He didn’t finish the thought.

“But we’re married.”

“In word alone.”

And I knew what he wasn’t saying. I grit my teeth.

When he spoke again, his voice was quieter. “Axl has been made an elder.”

Her uncle, back in Runehall’s clan. Shit .

“He might let it go,” he went on, then, for the briefest moment, he hesitated. It was so unlike the old man, and I felt my heart pick up its pace against my chest. “Or he might come for her.”

I didn’t dare open my mouth. My anger was suddenly a living thing, and I didn’t trust myself to let it out. I glared back at Baer and waited for him to hurry up and spit out what I could see he wanted to say.

“If we send her back, we separate the girl and her mother. She’ll be taken in by the worst people in Runehall’s clan.

Submit to their rules or be as good as wolf meat, that’s what it would come to, and maybe it would be good for her.

” He’d said the words, but the grimace on his face made me think he didn’t believe them.

I didn’t believe them either. Fenli? She’d buck every rule they gave her and march herself into the dark forest just to spite them all.

He went on. “If that’s what you want, fine.

There are few who would blame you. Otherwise, find her.

Find her and drag her to the Hinterlands, if that’s what it takes. ”

He turned to go.

“Wait, you’re leaving?”

“I have to. If I let her slow us down, it will only cause her more trouble. Stupid girl .”

“But how will I—”

“I’ll leave you the small sails,” he said, referring to the smallest vessel in the fleet, able to be manned by one and still stay mast up. “Hope you’re not tired.”

Then he turned and left me to it.

With my arms crossed over my chest, I looked back to the empty village and frowned.

I’ll leave you the small sails. Hope you’re not tired.

Well, I was tired. Tired of being married to a woman who hated me, tired of everyone’s expectations, and, more than all of that, tired of the old man who’d dropped me in this situation in the first place.

And now I was supposed to find Fenli and bring her north myself, just like that?

Had he met her? He might as well have sent me out after a wildcat.

I didn’t know where to begin. Sighing, I set out to sweep the village once more. When Esska caught up to me, she was panting .

“There you are,” she said. “I heard about Fenli. Baer won’t let me help, but someone said they saw her leaving the village and going east. We have a shelter out there, her and I. That’s where you should check.”

“Someone saw her?”

She nodded. “One of your friends. Thaas? He thought nothing of it until now.”

My stomach clenched. “Did he tell anyone?”

“We’re keeping it quiet. Only a few know, and they’re not talking. Roan—,” she forced me to look at her, “—bring her back, no matter what. Promise me.”

I sighed, silently cursed the skies I’d been born under, then finally nodded. “I promise.”

“Good.” She reached out a hand and squeezed my shoulder. “She’s stubborn and impossible, but she belongs with us. She just doesn’t know it yet.”

“Good luck convincing her.”

“Good luck finding her.”

Then she laid out the path for me in detail, giving me the kind of instructions that made me realize my sister knew these woods better than most. When she finished, she turned and headed back to the harbor while I set off to the east.

Her directions didn’t steer me wrong. By mid-day, I’d reached the cedar forest and soon found the shelter the two of them had tucked away there. Fenli wasn’t inside, but her tracks were clear enough. I followed them, running, until I caught sight of her up ahead.

“Fenli,” I called.

She flinched at the sound of her name, her shoulders pulling higher. Thank the gods she didn’t run. She slowed until she was still, her dog before her looking back, and after a well-heaved breath, she turned to face me.

I drew up in front of her, at a loss for words. Her eyes met mine with a challenge in them, and I was unsettled. Finally, I pointed in the direction she’d been heading.

“What’s that way?”

I expected her not to answer which was why I was doubly surprised when she said, “The Saik.”

I gawked.

Her eyes held mine for a moment, then she turned away, heading, apparently, for the Saik.

I scrambled after her.

“Why would you go there?”

This time she didn’t answer, instead leaving me to my guesses.

“Do you speak Saik?”

“No.”

“Have you ever even met any of them?”

“Yes.”

This was getting me nowhere.

“Fenli, I don’t want to tell you what to do but—”

She wheeled back on me, and I nearly plowed right into her.

“Then d…” She heaved a breath. “Don’t.”

Everything about her was daring me to cross her. The set of her jaw, the line of her mouth, the cut of her brows. For a moment, I forgot myself. My reason for chasing her down, my argument—it all died on my tongue.

“Is this why you took my knife?” I said stupidly .

If looks could kill, holy shit. I was an idiot for bringing it up, and I tried to focus on what was important.

“I—” I stammered. “Why go with them and not us?”

At that, she stilled. Maybe she wouldn’t answer, but I waited all the same. When she did speak, she said it quietly.

“Toke doesn’t want me.”

Her words served to surprise me, then anger me.

I also found them to be complete bullshit.

Here she was convinced she wasn’t one of Toke’s, and why?

All because her lousy father belonged to Runehall?

Piss on it. Her mother was one of ours, and that was good enough for me—for anybody—and I’d fight any shit-lip who said differently.

Esska’s voice rang in my ears— bring her back, no matter what —and I committed to my next action before I’d taken the time to consider it.

I snatched her right off her feet and tossed her over my shoulder. Ignoring her yelp and protests, I swung back around and began the long walk back. Her kicking and cursing could not dislodge her from my hold, and she wasn’t about to convince me to put her down.

She might kill me later, when her feet were under her again, but I’d worry about it then. For now, I was getting the two of us back with our clan.

Where we both belonged.