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Chapter Four

Roan

I ’d seen the pair of them slip in—Esska a little heavy-handed with my bride on entry—and I’d seen Fenli’s face after the news had been dealt, when the words settled in her mind and she understood them.

I hadn’t been able to get that image out of my head since.

Even three days later, as I ran my knife down the length of the whetstone again and again, I kept looping back to it.

Light had flickered off her face from a nearby oil lamp, illuminating what I didn’t want to see yet couldn't pull myself away from. Her dark, chin-length curls had framed a face that betrayed every thought and feeling she’d had.

Her lips had parted, and her brows had flinched before knitting together.

But her eyes had been the worst part, going wide, then unfocused.

And she hadn’t moved. When the space around her had erupted in frenzy and chatter and life, she alone had stood still.

Hopeless.

That was how she had looked.

And now I had to take her north and show her the place we were meant to share.

I tossed the knife onto the table and groaned, dragging a hand down my face. Damn Baer and all his meddling in my life. This was humiliating. I could not think of a more painful scenario to find myself in .

Crushed between the hulls of two boats? Elsynbr have me.

Ripped apart by wolves in the wilderness? A fitting end for a hunter.

Better than being ripped apart by her . I imagined a pack would be more merciful.

“Ah, Roan,” said Jory behind me. “Our mighty hunter, brought low by a trip back home.”

I kept my back turned and didn’t say a word, hoping that would be the end of it, but the boys took up the familiar conversation, all too willing to kick off the next session of pick-on-the-married-guy-bunking-with-the-singles.

“Let’s not be hard on him. He’s got his wife for that.”

Laughter broke out around me, from the bunks against the wall, the benches along the tables, and the chairs back by the hearth.

“He’d take on any of us without a pause, but one look from his woman had him retreating with his tail between his legs.”

“Don’t know what he’s afraid of,” said another. “That one’s about as threatening as a mouse.”

“We can’t be the judge of that,” said Jory. “She cut her hair, after all. Took on Baer without saying so much as a word. She may be quiet and small—,” I heard his knife being slowly dragged from its sheath. “—but the quiet ones can slit your throat all the same.”

I turned to see Jory lowering his knife at the others in the room. They chuckled and someone threw a sock, catching him on the shoulder.

I wished he’d shut up.

“Please,” said Thaas. “They’re both soft, is the problem. And Roan here couldn’t figure out his marital duties even if we drew him a picture. ”

I stood, pushing the chair back and coming to face my so-called friend. Everyone’s heads spun towards me, but I kept my eyes trained on his.

“I challenge you to fists, Thaas,” I said. “Let me show you what these soft hands can do to your ugly face.”

His mouth lifted on one side.

“’Bout time you put your angst to use."

And that was the end of the peace and calm in the bunkhouse.

The men cheered, glad to be provided with a bit of sport, and hands clasped the two of us, jostling us outside the door and into the muddy street.

I felt like myself again for the first time since landing on this hellscape from my past. This was what I needed.

Fresh air and some sonofabitch to trade blows with.

Thaas could always be counted on when you needed a good scrap, and I was going to make sure I returned the favor.

The others formed a circle around us, and someone started taking bets. Nothing serious, just the next day’s chores and stashes of salted meats. I heard a few placed in my favor and felt a swell of cocky pride. No, don’t be a little shit , I reminded myself. Focus. Cocky bastards learn the hard way.

I’d learned the hard way.

I narrowed my focus on Thaas and blocked out the rest. He and I had been as close as brothers for the past five years, and I knew him better than anyone.

Everything about him said he was as hungry for this as I was, and it was no wonder.

We’d done nothing but pack and prepare since docking, mind-numbing jobs like counting provisions, making lists, and wrapping every stupid thing that could break in burlap and wool.

Thaas had never enjoyed being cooped up, and I could see he was itching to take it out on me.

He rolled his shoulders and shook the tension from his arms, finishing by cracking his knuckles and giving me a wide grin .

“Ready, lover boy?” He lifted his fists and winked.

“Ready to make you my—”

He lunged, swinging his right hook in a wide arc, and I only just ducked under it. If he’d have caught me, I’d have been blinking away stars not three seconds into this thing. I popped back up and pivoted, making him turn with me. Now my hands were up, ready to block, ready to strike.

My forearms took his next two jabs before I caught the hook that followed with my right and sent him a nasty cross with my left.

He anticipated the move—the sod—and ducked, but only just. He tried to fall back, but I pressed forward, hoping to catch him off balance in the mud.

No luck. Thaas had always been quick on his feet, and he wasn’t losing them now, packed earth or no.

He dodged my next swing and landed a blow right to my gut—not the hardest hit I’d ever taken, but it still hurt like hell.

I took a step back, and he took two in pursuit, closing in on me like he thought maybe he could finish this thing.

I couldn’t let him. I ignored the boys cheering and yelling Thaas’ name, thinking I couldn’t come back from this. Blinking hard, I grit my teeth and focused on proving them wrong. Let Thaas think he had me. I’d use it to my advantage.

He swung, and I deflected it, winding up for a left hook out of nowhere, sure I’d caught him off guard and could land the blow.

That’s when I heard him. Baer shouting my name over the thrum of the jeering crowd.

My head snapped up; my attention pulled from the fight because I knew I heard murder in my old man’s voice.

And wasn’t that Thaas’ lucky day, because that cheat smoked me so hard across the cheek that he knocked me right back on my ass.

The world exploded, then spun around me, and I sunk my hands down into the mud to keep from taking my descent even further.

Blinking furiously, I tried to right my mind.

Part of me still understood that the biggest threat here was Baer, and I needed my wits.

Damn Thaas .

He must have felt bad, though, because it was Thaas who grabbed my arm and hauled me up to my feet, pointing me toward the approaching madman.

“You lying bit of cuss,” Baer said, just as he came into focus.

He was broad shouldered and in a fresh tunic, his dark beard streaked with the same grey as his shirt.

That must have been Rahv’s idea, I thought dumbly.

His words reminded me to focus. “Bunking here instead of in your own hut? Have you lost your mind?”

I flexed my jaw but didn’t respond. I could meet his eyes and hold his gaze now, the reeling in my mind retreating, and I didn’t like what I saw staring back at me.

Baer was as controlling now as he was ten years ago when he picked out my wife and then set my course for the Hinterlands.

And he didn’t like being crossed. The tension in his dark eyes told me he was as angry as he’d ever been.

I was as tall his him now—thank Toke for that—and I made sure to hold his glare.

With him, it felt like the only win I could merit.

“You’ll get your things now and get your ass back over there.”

“It’s not my hut, it’s hers,” I said. “Just let her have it, and we’ll be heading north before the week is out.”

“No. You go now, or I will deliver you there myself and give both of you my wrath. The elders have noticed.”

Ah, and there it was. The real reason for his ire. He didn’t like being made a fool in front of his brethren .

“I have enough to do with this move, boy. I don’t need a git of a son causing me more grief.”

And with that, he turned and left.

Condolences started coming as soon as he was out of earshot. Someone started humming the song of last rites and another picked up the harmony, completing the effect.

“Oh, that’s very funny,” I said. “By the way, you’re all dead to me.”

Jory clapped a hand on my shoulder.

“It’s your funeral, friend.”