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Chapter Thirty-One

Fenli

I ’d have given up my right arm if it’d meant I could be rid of him, but Roan would not let it be that easy. Now I was left with two choices: tell him the truth about the wolves… or kill him while he slept.

I looked down at him where he lay. No bedroll or blanket. Just his bag propped under his head and his hands tucked under his arms. Peaceful. Vulnerable. Ripe for the murdering.

I heaved a sigh and kicked his boot.

“Wh-what,” he stammered, pushing up on his palms and blinking at the space around him.

He met my eyes for a moment before shaking his head briskly in an effort to wake up.

He took a deep breath and pulled himself into a sitting position, raking his hands through his mop of blond hair.

He looked out the door, which I’d opened, and into the dusk of early morning.

“What the hell are you waking me up for?”

“The truth,” I said, grabbing my small bag and tossing it over my shoulder. “If you want it, you’d better keep up.”

He reached for the axe.

“No.” His gaze slid up to meet mine, his hand on the handle. “Leave your metal behind. No axe, no knives. ”

“Why the hell would I do that?”

“Because I’m not talking otherwise.”

I thought maybe that would be it right there. He’d refuse, I’d refuse, and he’d give up and leave. But he’d heard the wolves last night, I reminded myself. He could tell the others and come back for them. I had to show him.

I decided to soften. “Trust me,” I said. I patted the battle sword on my hip.

With his eyes still on the sword, his mouth set in a grim line, he dropped the axe.

Then he pulled the small blade from his boot and another from his belt, tossing them to the floor as well.

Satisfied, I turned, ducking under the doorway and heading north towards the den.

He scrambled to catch up, then fell into a steady pace at my heels.

I felt crazy, leading him straight to my secret.

But there was something else there as well.

Something I couldn’t unpack, something pressing up on my chest. I tried to ignore it.

When we got to the old cedar, I had a quick look around. It was the early shreds of dawn, but I could see enough to know that the wolves hadn’t made it back yet.

That was lucky.

I swung the pack from my shoulders and sat, gesturing for Roan to do the same.

“Don’t make me regret this,” I whispered.

He looked at me like he was nervous and more than a little confused.

Good .

We waited in the quiet of the early forest. When the scene around us had lightened into true day, I heard them. Roan perked up beside me, reached for his knife, then stiffened when he came up empty .

“You wanted the truth,” I said.

The first wolf broke through the underbrush. It was the mother, and she headed straight for her pups. The father appeared behind her, followed by the watcher.

“This is the truth.”

The watcher looked for me and found me. Immediately, his eyes shifted to Roan, and he stilled, tail alert.

“I told you you wouldn’t like it.”

Roan’s fingers found my forearm and wrapped tightly around it. He didn’t take his gaze off the wolves. The two others emerged from the trees, saw the watcher’s tight posture, and found us as well. The father was next. Four pairs of eyes watched us, wary.

“What the hell, Fenli,” he whispered.

“Relax.”

“You want me to relax right now? Give me the sword.” He reached for it, but I smacked his hand away.

“No! Just do what—”

The father had seen enough. He growled and his hackles rose.

That stopped our squabble. I grabbed Roan’s hand and squeezed, warning him and pleading with him in the same gesture. He stilled, thank Toke, and the father watched us for many long moments before his ear finally flicked, his tail lowered, he looked away.

“What the hell is this, Fen.”

The father turned away from us completely and moved closer to the den.

“It’s what I’ve been hiding. Where I’ve been going during the days. Now it’s where I’m staying.”

“You told me you were staying with people. You’re such a liar. ”

“No, I said I’d found another group. It’s not my fault you assumed they were people.”

He swore.

I shrugged.

“I’ve taken to them. We’re comfortable with each other, and I like it here.”

“That big one could have killed us!”

I scowled and waved him off. “That. That was your fault. It was only a warning.”

He rubbed a hand up and down his face before swearing once more.

The watcher cocked his head at that, and I smiled, leaning back into the tree.

Gods, I was tired. We’d barely slept last night, and all the nervous energy I’d been running on was coming up empty now.

Sunlight was filtering through the treetops, and I was in a delicious spot of it. It warmed my clothes and my skin.

“Just watch the watcher,” I told him, “while he watches you. When the pups come out, your patience will be rewarded. Shouldn’t be long now.”

“You are not going to sleep.”

“It’s just a nap.”

He hissed, “We are a stone’s throw away from a pack of wolves, and you are going to sleep?”

“If you ever shut up, yes.”

He would have to sleep later. I knew how he felt, every bit of himself humming with the need to survive, to find safety, and I knew it would take him time to truly relax. I’d give it to him.

I hugged the sword tightly to my chest and curled around it so he wouldn’t get any bad ideas, then settled into a bed of needles and earth. In that half-coherent space between awake and asleep, I finally understood what I was feeling, what that thing was pushing up on my chest.

It was relief.

Because I wasn’t just a tangle of secrets anymore. One person knew.

And it felt good.