Page 10 of Enamored with the Bluestocking (Romances of Intrigue #4)

“That Lord Downfield has been paying you a good deal of attention of late, Sarah.”

Sarah looked back at her mother without altering a single part of her expression, her lips curved in a soft smile. “Yes, Mama. It would seem that he has.”

“He is often in conversation with you and has danced with you once already – and it was the waltz, was it not?”

Sarah nodded, ignoring the light butterflies in her stomach. “Yes, Mama, it was. Though he has not repeated that since.”

“Oh, but that does not mean anything!” Lady Harcastle exclaimed, as the carriage took them to Lord and Lady Murchison’s ball. “He might ask you this evening and you must, of course, say yes.” She waved one hand vaguely. “I am aware that he was the gentleman who caused your ankle a great injury at the very beginning of the Season but that may have gone in your favour! It seems now that his apology might have turned into an interest in you!”

Sarah offered nothing more than a smile, looking away rather than permitting her mother to examine her expression for fear of what she might see there. There had been a change in her connection with Lord Downfield, that she was sure, but what it was as yet, Sarah could not quite understand. They had engaged in a few conversations and she had found him more than amiable, with not even the smallest hint of frustration or anger which she had seen in him before. It was as though, in spending the time reading and considering the difference between Tom Jones and himself, Lord Downfield’s character itself had begun to alter!

Unless he was always that sort of fellow but his pride affected his character in the most dreadful way.

“I do hope that he will dance with you again this evening,” Lady Harcastle hummed, as Sarah hands curled in her lap, her heart quickening at the thought. “I should like that very much.”

I should like that too, Sarah admitted to herself, a faint heat in her cheeks. The carriage continued to roll onwards and finally came to a stop just outside the house and Sarah let out a breath of relief, glad now that the conversation about Lord Downfield would come to an end. It was confusing enough for her to only think about and to speak about it also would only cause it all the more, she was sure!

“I must also ask you, Sarah, whether you have been speaking of your learning to anyone?”

Sarah turned to her mother who had descended from the carriage, following her question. “No, Mama, I have not.”

“Are you quite certain?”

A little confused, Sarah nodded. “I am certain I have not said a word to anyone.”

Her mother’s eyes slanted towards hers for a moment before turning back again to the house in front of them, stepping towards it as Sarah followed her. “The reason I ask is because Lady Carmichael told me she heard you discussing French art with both Lady Catherine and a gentleman or two?”

A slight hint of panic trapped itself in Sarah’s heart. “Lady Carmichael overheard this? I am surprised that she would think to eavesdrop.”

“She did not eavesdrop, Sarah,” her mother answered, a little more sharply. “Sometimes it is impossible not to overhear a conversation given how closely we stand with someone else, that is all.” She turned to face Sarah now, standing at the foot of the steps which led to the house. “Tell me the truth. Were you discussing art?”

Sarah lifted her chin, refusing to give into the panic which was now threading through her. “Mama, I was discussing my brother’s ventures during the Great Adventure. France was certainly discussed and I know that art was mentioned but that may not have been by me. Besides which, even if it was, I would only have been agreeing with whatever else was said, stating that my brother had seen the very same.” Seeing her mother frown, Sarah spoke hastily, her fingers knotting together as she clasped her hands in front of her. “I should say, Mama, that this was in discussion with Lord Downfield for he was certainly present at the time. Given his interest, I was not about to stay silent, of course. I had to make certain I spoke of what I knew but I was very cautious.”

At this, Lady Harcastle’s eyebrows lifted, pulling the frown from her face. “I see. Well, that is quite different, is it not?” She offered Sarah a smile and then hurried up the stairs, leaving Sarah to trail after her, suddenly weak with relief that her mother was no longer to quiz her on what had been said and what she had told the gentleman. All the same, Sarah reminded herself, she had to be a good deal more careful in where she was standing whenever she spoke to Lord Downfield. The last thing she wanted was to be pulled away from society… and from Lord Downfield too.

***

“I have it!”

Sarah jumped in surprise, only to smile brightly as Lord Downfield’s grinning face greeted her. “Lord Downfield, good evening.”

“I – oh.” With a quick bow, he clasped his hands behind his back. “Good evening, Lady Sarah. I do hope that you are enjoying the ball this evening?”

Sarah laughed, seeing his eyes round a little in surprise. “You are certainly doing your level best to be gentlemanly, are you not? Though I do not think that on this occasion, it is required. You have clearly some excitement about you – it is about the… ” She frowned, turning her head to one side and then to the other, seeing just how close they were to others. “Is it about what we discussed?”

Lord Downfield nodded, though his smile was no longer as bright, his eyes holding gentle confusion rather than happiness. “It is. Are you quite well?”

Sarah nodded. “Might we move to the back of the ballroom, Lord Downfield? Lady Catherine will return soon enough and will come in search of me, I am sure, and my mother is only a little away.”

The gentleman’s eyes rounded and Sarah dropped her head, mortification filling her.

“I mean only so that I can hear you clearly, rather than for any other reason,” she added, hastily. “There is so much noise here, so many voices and music that I feel as though I have to strain to hear you.”

“Ah.” Lord Downfield nodded. “Of course. Please.” He held out one hand to his left and Sarah quickly stepped away, silently praying that her mother would not notice her and follow. It was only a few steps and they were then in the shadows of the room, though in clear sight of Lady Harcastle still. Relieved, Sarah turned to face Lord Downfield again, her worries no longer present.

“You were about to tell me that you knew the answer to the question I posed you?”

Instantly, Lord Downfield’s face split with a smile. “I did, though I confess, it did not take me as much time as I feared it would! A little reading, a little conversation and I discovered that the fellow – may he rest in peace – was none other than Antoine Watteau!” He reached out and caught her hand. “I must tell you, I found myself quite captivated with some of his works. The landscapes in particular were very beautiful. I do remember seeing some of his work previously during my Great Adventure but I had never taken any great interest in him. I was glad to be afforded the opportunity now.”

“I am delighted to hear it! I confess that I have not seen his work in any real detail, only heard of it from my brother and from what I have read. I have heard that there is often a great wistfulness in his works.”

Lord Downfield smiled. “There is. I should like it if you could see his works one day, Lady Sarah. I think that your heart would understand them in a way that my own does not.”

Sarah was not quite certain what to make of this comment, though she considered it to be a compliment. She smiled back at him and for some moments, nothing was said. Sarah found herself quite comfortable in the silence, looking into the gentleman’s eyes and silently wondering what she had ever found about him to be so dreadfully disagreeable.

“Well?” His tone was softer now and Sarah blinked, a little uncertain as to what he meant. When she did not answer, he chuckled, his hand shifting on hers and making her realize that as yet, he had not released her fingers from his. She swallowed quickly, the warmth of his grip thrilling her though she dared not let a single emotion flicker across her face. Was he asking her for something more? Something that might grow from this warmth which she now felt spreading across her chest, the warmth which came from his hand holding hers? Dare she say that she was enjoying his company, that she found herself in a place where she had never once expected?

“The next mystery?” he asked, making Sarah flush with embarrassment as she realized what he meant – and that it was not what she had hoped. “If you have not yet thought of it, then that is quite all right.” He tilted his head. “I find that I am no longer in as eager a hurry as I was before.”

“That is good, I think,” she answered, her voice quavering just a little given the way that one emotion jumped over another. “I confess that I have not thought of any as yet, though… ” She paused, wondering if she dared to trust him with this. “I – I should like to ask that anything we discuss on this matter be kept as private as could possibly be? Not because I am ashamed of it but rather because I have had my mother coming to me with remarks that another person has made over a previous conversation – the one about the French artist – and I should not like any gossip to follow.”

This was not exactly what concerned her, of course, for she was worried that someone would hear of her discussion with him as regarded the knowledge she had gained from her reading and her mother would, thereafter, pull her from society. Lord Downfield, however, made very little by way of concern and instead, simply nodded.

“But of course, I quite understand. That is wise thinking, Lady Sarah.” He looked down at their joined hands and, with a quiet cough, released her. “Gossip is something that I utterly despise.”

“It is. I – ”

“Ah, there you are!”

A gentleman that Sarah did not recognize hurried over to them both, making Sarah’s eyebrows lift as the gentleman completely ignored her and instead, put a hand to Lord Downfield’s arm.

“I have been looking all over for you! The Duchess of Kettering and her daughter, Lady Alice, are busy discussing the gentlemen of London and, given your standing in London, I thought you might wish to go and join them so that they might… well, you understand what I mean!”

Sarah’s shoulders dropped, her lip curling. Surely Lord Downfield would not simply abandon her here to go and stand with a young lady of higher standing? She knew that pride had certainly been a great concern to him of late but she had thought, since his change in attitude towards her, that this might now have altered him all the more.

She was to be disappointed.

“Lady Alice?” Lord Downfield suddenly seemed to rise an inch or two taller, his chest puffing out, his eyes searching the crowd as the other gentleman nodded fervently. “You say that they are discussing the gentlemen of London?”

“They are, for everyone has heard them. They seek to know which are the very best fellows in all of London – though I do not know if they do that for their own pleasures or if they do it because they do wish to consider the gentlemen who might make a match with Lady Alice – but all the same, it is being loudly and obviously discussed.”

“Then I must go at once! Thank you for informing me, Lord Dover. You clearly know me well enough to understand that this is a situation I simply must be a part of!”

Much to Sarah’s dismay, the gentlemen both walked off together, with Lord Downfield not so much as turning his head to look at her. He had not bidden her good evening, had not told her that he would return to continue with their conversation… he had said nothing. She was left now with silence, with a heaviness in her heart and the heat of shame rippling down over her in waves. It was not as though she were ashamed by anything that he had done but that she had become ashamed of her own foolishness as regarded the gentleman.

I let his improvement affect me, she recognized, lowering her head and then squeezing her eyes closed. There has been change, yes, but clearly he is not altered enough to truly consider me… or mayhap this has all been nothing more than a pretense ever since it began! Have I been foolish in letting myself become altered in my view and consideration of him?

A little surprised to see tears forming behind her eyes at this, Sarah took in a deep breath, sniffed and then lifted her chin. The last thing she needed was for her mother to notice that she was upset, for that would lead to a good many questions… and Sarah was quite sure that she did not have the answers for any of them.