Page 85 of Embrace the Darkness

“Holy shit,” I heard Rourke say just before the door closed behind me.

CHAPTER 37

With a shuddering breath, I relaxed. Allowing the darkest part of myself to take the reins by suppressing everything else that made up my soul took a lot out of a girl. Sure, it made things a lot easier, definitely more enjoyable when toying with the enemy. In fact, I fucking loved every minute of it, but the aftermath…when my emotions surfaced, I became unsettled.

The meeting was over. The job Stefan had tasked me with was completed. I'd succeeded. I should have been proud or celebrating that my sexist, nefarious uncle was about to meet karma.Did he know karma is female and a bitch?I should have been laughing at the irony, but I could barely muster a smile. Dylan’s life had been spared—a mercy I hoped I wouldn’t regret. There was no changing Samuel’s fate, though. He had to die. That wasn’t my issue, but yet it was.

This betrayal was gutting Stefan. He wasn’t outwardly showing it, but I could still tell. Samuel was his brother—his twin. They had come into this world together, born with a bond—an assurance that they’d always have each other. Having walked the dark path of a Quinn alone, I was almost jealous. Even though I'd had Jamie growing up, he still was older and male. We'd learned at different stages and Stefan had had different expectations of us.

It was no wonder Samuel had been allowed to run amok for two years. There was no doubt in my soul that Stefan had sensed Samuel was up to no good from the very beginning. He’d have to have been dense not to and Stefan was anything but. Denial was a seductive asshole but now it was time for acceptance. Justice needed to be served. If I could have taken this burden from him, I would have.

“You need to eat more than two bites,” Asher said from my left. I looked down at my barely touched plate. Glancing over at his next to mine and then to Dean’s on my right, I saw both of their plates were clean. Jeana had made a pasta dish for dinner. I was equally bummed as I was relieved that she hadn't made tacos. The momentI'd begun to relax, I'd instantly lost my appetite. It would have been a crying shame if I'd let tacos go to waste.

The three of us were seated at the island in the kitchen. I'd come in here to join Dean and Asher when I'd realized I was going to be eating dinner alone. Stefan hadn’t showed up, and neither had anyone else for that matter. They were all preparing for the execution by hunting down the rest of Samuel’s and Dylan’s enforcers and men in their inner circle.

Fixating on a glittery speck in the quartz countertop, I mumbled, “I can’t eat.” I felt strung tight with an abundant mix of bipolar emotions. I was sad for my father but happy my uncle was finally getting put inhisplace. I was tired yet wired, like the family meeting had given me a euphoric high I was relishing but crashing from at the same time. The memory of myself rubbing up against Mark like a cat in heat made my skin itch for a shower, yet I wanted to roll around, basking in the sweet scent of victory. Maybe I was having a stroke?

“What’s wrong?” Dean grumbled. I blinked, breaking the staring contest I was having with the counter to face him. He was staring at me with a puckered brow. I couldn’t tell if he was concerned or pissed off.

“I think I need to have sex…” I blurted with zero shame. I didn’t have room for that particular emotion.Dean’s brows shot up and Asher cleared his throat. “Or a cigarette. I’m feeling very contradictory at the moment and it’s…unsettling.”

“Uh…” Dean stammered, clearly at a loss.

“Why’d you take off your rubber bands? Didn’t they help you when you were stressed?” Asher asked.

Stressed! I’ll be damned, I guess I am.I usually got pissed when I was stressed. At the moment, though, I couldn’t pin down one single emotion and just feel it.

A drink was definitely in order. Standing up, I made my way over to the pantry. Stepping into the temperature-controlled room, I scanned shelves with an array of unopened bottles. We were Irish, so it wasn’t a surprise Stefan had enough whiskey to get an entire army sloshed. Thankfully, he also catered to those with other tastes. I sighed happily when I found a bottle of Patrón. It wasn’t until I was walking out of the pantry with tequila in hand that I finally grasped everything Asher had said. My steps faltered. I stood there stunned as I locked my eyes on the giant sitting across the room. He was waiting, expectantly.How’d he…?

“How long did you spy on me?”

He smirked. Standing from his stool, he scooped up his empty plate. “The last two years,” he replied as hemade his way over to the sink. “And we weren’t spying. We were there to protect you.”

I fought hard not to scowl as I pulled a shot glass and salt from different cabinets around the kitchen. “Whatever you were doing, you were veryobservantif you knew why I wore rubber bands. Did you hack into the college to get my test scores, too? Tap my phone? Bug my house?” I grumbled as I set my collected items on the counter. I didn’t return to my seat. Instead, I chose to stand on the other side of the island, across from Dean, who was watching as I uncorked the Patrón bottle and poured a shot. I preferred my tequila chilled when drinking it straight, but I didn’t really have the patience to prepare it that way. Wetting the back of my hand with my tongue, I dashed some salt on the dampened skin. I licked the salt away and threw back the shot.Damn, I needed that.

Asher leaned against the sink with his arms folded over his chest after placing his plate in the basin. “You didn’t answer my question.”

I shrugged. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not living among the sheep anymore. Showing weakness here is a death sentence.”

“You’re the boss’s daughter,” he said incredulously, like being Stefan’s daughter gave me the entitlement to get away with whatever the fuck I wanted. That was truein some cases. No one could touch me without facing the wrath of Stefan. But that wasn’t how I rolled. I wanted my enemies to hesitate to rise against me because of my own retribution.

“Aren’t bodyguards supposed to stand in my shadow, silent while looking intimidating? Emphasis on the silent part.” I pointedly eyed Dean because he too was an opinionated Chatty Cathy. I poured myself another shot, then repeated my salt regimen before tossing it back.

The sound of someone clearing their throat drew our attention. Louie was standing by the entrance leading in from the foyer. With his hands in his pockets, he looked apprehensive. “Can we talk?”

Without saying a word Asher pushed away from the sink. Dean stood from his stool and reached across the island to snag my tequila bottle. I glared at him as he and Asher left the kitchen, taking the Patrón bottle with them.What a dick.Once they were out of sight, I relented with a sigh. I guessed it was for the best. I needed to be clear headed later.

Looking back at Louie, I saw he hadn’t moved from where he was standing. From what I could read in his eyes, I knew what he wanted to talk about. I’d been trying to avoid thinking about last night all day. Remembering it once right after waking up this morning had made me cringe.Christ,I was such a hussy. Only hours after ending whatever Jamie and I’d had together, I'd pounced on his best friend. What was worse was if Louie hadn’t stopped us and Jamie hadn’t shown up, I would have slept with him—I wanted to sleep with him. I could still feel his lips on mine, which was making my heart practically gallop out of my chest.

“What’s up, Louie?”

My voice seemed to spark his resolve and he slowly made his way over to me. I'd never noticed how graceful he was when he walked or how his gray slacks stretched tight against his strong thighs with each step he took. He was a little on the leaner side but that didn’t mean his body wasn’t chiseled in all the right places.Fucking hell. He’s Jamie’s best friend. He’s Jamie’s best friend! He’s Jamie’s best friend!

A few golden strands of his medium length fringe that was normally slicked back escaped the rest and fell across his beautiful sapphire eyes. “We should talk about last night.”

We should. Given how I was reacting with him just standing two feet away from me, though, I didn’t know if I was ready. He was close enough now I could smell him. His warm earthy cologne caressed my nose, warming me from the inside out, making me want to slip off my suitjacket to help cool my flushed skin. Taking off any articles of clothing in front of him was a bad idea. I might find it hard to stop. So instead, I inched away from him, trying my hardest to be inconspicuous.

“We had a lot to drink…” I trailed off because I didn’t know what else to say.