Page 12 of Embrace the Darkness

“I told Tom I was raped,” I blurted as my eyes bored into the wall in front of me. “I kind of had to because the first time we tried to have sex, I flipped out.” Looking back, I remembered thinking I'd found someone really special when he hadn't bolted after I'd told him.I was a fucking idiot.My desperation for normalcy had blinded me into thinking he'd been understanding as he'd patiently worked with me to get past myissues, when in reality, it had been mostly me forcing myself to push back my insecurities to make sure he'd been happy.

I didn’t look back at Jamie and Stefan. I couldn’t. I dropped my eyes to stare at the pretty crystal glasses on the trolley. “Our relationship was what I thought to be normal. We moved in together. I was happy. I thought we were happy…the fucking illusion was shattered when I came home and found myself stuck in a damn closet listening to him fuck that stupid whore who was supposed to be my friend.” I was seething, breathing heavily remembering it. “What’s funny is, I felt relieved. Betrayed, but still relieved that our relationship was over. I didn’t have to pretend anymore.” I took another huge swallow. “Their pillow talk is what killed them. Him cheating on me hurt my pride, but he really fucked me over when he told her that I was raped. That I wasdamaged goods. And that I’ve been nothing more than a disgusting pity fuck he had to force himself to be with.” My words ended on an angry growl. “So I killed them. I killed them in a way that would cause them pain. The same pain they made me feel. I made sure I saw fear in their eyes just before I did it because otherwise it wouldn’t have been as satisfying. Just like how I had to watch Zack and Tyson’s fear before I killed them. I kill people who hurt me because that’s apparently who I am. I’m a Quinn. No matter how many years I spent pretending I’m not. I will always be a Quinn.”

“Maura—”

I stopped Stefan from saying anything by slamming my hand on the trolley, causing a loud bang and the glasses to clank. “Are you both satisfied with my reason now?” I was angry at them. Rationally, I knew they'd done nothing to deserve my anger. I wasn’t very rational at the moment. I felt someone come up behind me and the last thing I needed was to be touched. “Don’t,” I snapped to stop whoever it was. No one touched me, but I could still feel a presence behind me. “You promised me a bottle of whiskey.”

“It’s in your room,” my father replied. With how close he sounded, I had a pretty good guess as to who was behind me. I turned to face him. He held a blank expression, regarding me cautiously. I didn’t even bother glancing atJamie because I knew he’d be just as unreadable.

When neither of them said anything, I left.

By the time I made it to my room on the other side of the house, my anger was at a simmer. Once I stepped inside my old bedroom, it completely faded. Apparently all the prep work that Brody had talked about had been focused on my room. The last time I'd been here, it had been a room of a teenage girl, with dark walls, posters of hot rock stars, and hot pink bedding. Now it was completely redecorated for a woman. All the furniture was new and the bedding was a light lavender color. He'd even had the walls painted light gray with a white trim.

True to his word, a bottle of whiskey was sitting on my new dresser. I grabbed it only to place it on my nightstand. Climbing onto my cloud-like bed, I fell back against my pillows, letting all my emotions come to the surface. I allowed myself to feel everything. Tears poured uncontrollably out of my eyes, one after another until I finally drifted off to sleep.

CHAPTER 6

Seven years ago…

I didn't know how long I'd lain on that floor. The bassfrom the loud music downstairs buzzed through the tile, tickling my fingers. My adrenaline had faded and all the pain was trying to take over. I felt it everywhere. As I lay there, I tried to take inventory of every injury.

My head was pounding from the hits I'd taken to the face. The taste of copper coated my tongue from my split lip. The skin around my wrists was already discolored with bruises from when Tyson had held me down. My knuckles stung. They were sticky with blood from where they'd been cut open. I was proud of the way my knucklesfelt because it showed I hadn't just lain there and taken it. I'd fought back, gotten a few hits in before they'd taken me down.

One of my breasts throbbed from where Zack had bitten me. The ribs on my left side were sore from where he'd kicked me. I could still feel his hands on my hips and thighs. His grip had been so rough I felt bruised down to the bone. Between my legs… the pain there was the worst. I tried not to focus on what had happened there, but each pulse of pain that ripped through me gave me flashbacks.

Zack shoving my legs apart while Tyson held me down. The feel of Zack pushing himself inside of me, ripping me apart.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts because I would never be able to leave this bathroom if I didn’t gain some sort of control of myself.

“Don’t chase the rabbit,” I whispered, voice coming out coarse and broken. “Don’t chase the rabbit,” I repeated with little more conviction.

Slowly, I pulled myself to my feet, stumbling a little until I got my footing. The first thing I did was look in the mirror. My shirt was ripped open, exposing my bra that had been shoved above my breasts. My skirt was pushed up around my waist. My eyes bounced to all the places I saw blood. My face. My hands. Between my thighs.

I did my best to smooth down my hair and put my clothes back in place. I had to tie my shirt closed with a hair tie I found in the bathroom because too many buttons were missing. As I got most of myself covered, I thought of what needed to happen next. I needed to get out of here, but I couldn’t go home. I couldn’t let Brody see me like this. He’d blame himself for letting me go to Becca’s tonight, when really, we'd snuck off to a party. I didn’t want Stefan to find out either. He was out of town until tomorrow and I didn’t want him to rush home because of me. I needed time to figure this all out… to process.

What do I do?

I remembered Tyson had taken my phone and tossed it into the bathtub when they ambushed me in here. Pain ricocheted through my whole body as I bent over to reach into the tub to retrieve it. I took a seat on the lid of the toilet and sent a quick text to Brody.

I’m going to spend the night at Becca’s. She caught her boyfriend making out with another girl at school today and is a mess.

Becca and I had come to the party together, but she'd quickly ditched me when her boyfriend had arrived. I hadn't been surprised. We weren’t really friends. We had an arrangement. Her parents didn’t like her boyfriend and I wasn’t allowed to leave the house without Stefan’s goons following me around unless I was dropped off at a friend’s house. She used me as an alibi, saying she was hanging out with me when really she was sneaking around with her boyfriend. And I’d have Stefan’s goons drop me off at her house, wait for them to leave, then sneak off to a movie or do whatever the hell I wanted to do,alone.

I'd been so excited when Becca texted me about this party. She and I had snuck away to a few before and I’d always had a good time. Like the last few parties, I'd drunk only canned soda and had a blast dancing my butt off in the living room with other kids from school before the urge to pee pulled me from the dancing crowd. I'd gone upstairs to avoid waiting in line for the bathroom downstairs. I'd done my business after I'd found an empty bathroom and before I could fully open the door to go back downstairs, Zack and Tyson had shoved their way in.

My phone beeped, notifying me of a new text message. It was from Brody.

Okay. Call me if you need me. See you in the morning. Be safe.

I was covered for the night.But what now?

There was only one person I trusted to help me. Convincing him to keep quiet for a while would be a challenge. Not impossible, though. Shaking, I dialed his number and put the phone to my ear.

The line only rang twice. “Hello?”

“Jamie.” My voice chose that moment to crack.Get it together.

“Maura?”