Page 46 of Embrace the Darkness

“I’ve never given women respect for more than a night and I don’t think I ever can give more than that,” he explained, sounding bitter. “A relationship could pull me from my priorities and that’s protecting this family and Stefan. If it ever comes down to it—and I know it will—where I’ll be stuck in the middle between you two, I’ll have to choose…”

“You’ll choose Stefan,” I finished for him, not at all surprised. I’ll admit, it wasn’t easy hearing it out loud.

“It’s our code. We all follow it. Even you, in your own way,” he explained.

Stefan’s code of honor was like the Mafia’s omertà. All the men in the family took the code seriously, but as a woman, it wasn’t really something Stefan had sat down and talked about with me. I'd only heard about it because teenaged boys liked to talk when they thought I wasn’t listening. It wasn't like anyone had expected me to be introduced to the business side of things. Women in the family were kept naive because most of the men thought we were too weak to handle what they did, which in turn gave us deniability if anything were to happen. Now thatI kind of had my foot in the door, I had a feeling I was going to be hearing about the code a lot more.

I sighed heavily and wiped away the wet tracks along my cheeks. “I don’t know what scenarios you’ve drawn up in your head, but boo fucking hoo. Your loyalty to Stefan is the last thing that’d wreck me. Stefan and I have always butted heads and probably always will. I’m kind of pissed that you’re comparing me to the normal, anorexic, air-headed bimbos you’re used to screwing. Who the hell do you think you’re talking to, Jamie?” I practically growled my words.

Everyone wanted to be the center of someone’s world. It was human nature. You couldn't have those kinds of expectations in our world. I’d always understood that. I'd known there would come a day where I’d meet someone, and I'd prayed they’d be understanding that my loyalty to Stefan had to take priority. Code or not, he was the king of our family’s empire. Everything our family relied on rode on his shoulders. And if anything were to happen to him, it would be chaos.

“In all the years we’ve known each other, I’ve never tried to get you to pick me over him. The fact that you think I would makes me want to punch you in your perfect face,” I fumed.

“I just don’t want to hurt you, Maura.”

Well, shit.How can I be mad at that?My shoulders slumped as my anger simmered. Shifting from one foot to the other, I tried to find the courage to say what I needed to next. I wouldn’t beg him to want me. The ball was in his court. “If I’m going to have a semblance of happiness in this life, I’ll take you any way I can have you because a piece of you is still better than nothing. Even if it’s only friendship. I don’t want to lose you. I need you too much.”

We stood there in the middle of Anarchy’s parking lot just staring at each other. Jamie reeled in his emotions, locking everything down. The longer time passed without his answer, the less confident I felt about anything. My feet shuffled again before I gave up.

“Where’s your car? We might as well head home. I’ll give you space to—”

Jamie startled me by cupping the back of my head and pulling me to him. His lips came down onto mine. I quickly recovered from my shock, seized his shirt in my hands, and stood on my tiptoes to help deepen our kiss.

“I want this. I want you—in every way I can have you. But I’m going to fuck it up. I don’t know how to do this,” he said, sounding pained in between kisses.

I nodded and pulled away slightly. “We’re both going to mess up. It’s inevitable. As long as we don’t set out tohurt each other, I think we’ll be okay,” I reassured him. “Let’s just take this one day at a time.”

My words seemed to get through to him and the tension in his body eased. He molded his lips back to mine and I felt his tongue sweep out, demanding entry. I opened, groaning when his tongue brushed mine. His hand roamed down my bare back until it reached the base of my spine. He hesitated before his hand continued its descent and smoothed over my butt. His fingers flexed and squeezed, causing the fabric of my dress to ride up. A cool breeze hit my bare bits, making me gasp. I pushed away from him to pull down my dress.

“I think I just flashed the world,” I said, looking around us, a little embarrassed. I didn’t see anyone close by.Phew.When I turned back to Jamie, he was staring down at me like I’d lost my mind. “My dress rode up and I’m not wearing any underwear.”

He stepped back, eyes traveling down my body. On his way back up, he lingered on my breasts. My nipples were hard and pushed against the thin fabric of my dress.

“You’re not wearing anything under that dress?” he asked.

I smirked. “No.”

He groaned. “We should go home,” he said, reaching out for me.

I took a step back out of his reach. “Hmm, I don’t know if I’m ready to go home just yet,” I teased, trying to appear serious. “I’m having a good time right now. Unless you can offer me a better time—”

“Maura, get your ass in the car before I throw you over my shoulder,” he warned, voice coming out deep and gruff. He pulled out his keys from his pocket and hit the unlock button on the key fob. Five cars down, the headlights on his black sports car flashed, signaling that it was unlocked. I gave him a defiant look by lifting a brow, daring him.

He shook his head at me, smiling, then moved faster than my mind could register as he swooped down and—like he'd said he would—threw me over his shoulder. I screamed, startled. Jamie’s hand came down on my ass with a good slap, causing me to yelp.

“Jameson!” I growled. He just chuckled as he started for his car.

The sexual tension in the air was getting thicker and thicker the closer we got to home. Now that things were cleared up between us, what now? The whiskey was set in my system and it was giving me all kinds of naughty fantasies and the liquid courage to act them out.

I kept sneaking peeks at Jamie when I thought he wouldn’t notice. Of course, he caught me every time and teased me with a knowing grin before returning his eyes to the road.Man, he’s beautiful. Strong jaw, beautiful greenish-brown eyes, lush mocha colored hair. Don’t get me started on his body. I wanted to explore every inch. My current debate was whether I should use my fingers or my tongue. His arm that gripped the wheel flexed a little and his tattoo covered skin bulged. It made me itch to start my exploring right then and there.

He caught me checking him out again. “You need to stop looking at me like that,” he said, voice sounding strained.

“What will happen if I don’t?”

His knuckles turned white as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. “You’ve had a lot to drink tonight,” he stated, like that was supposed to mean something to me. I knew he was just as sexually charged yet was holding back, trying to do the right thing. I needed to break him of that annoying habit.

Unbuckling my seatbelt, I leaned over the center console and kissed him just below his ear while I slid my hand down his inner thigh. “We’re not good people, remember. Don’t turn honorable on me now. Especially when I want to do really, really bad things with you,” Iwhispered before nibbling on the lobe of his ear. His body stiffened.