Page 11 of Embrace the Darkness

“Cheating’s not a good enough reason?”Was the boss of the Irish mob seriously nitpicking my motive?I was blown away by the irony.

“From what you just told me, apparently not.” He leaned back in his chair, appearing relaxed. I knew better. It was a facade—a technique to get your opponent to mimic and let down their guard. “You’re withholding something.”

“What happened in the closet that you’re not telling us? You were very detailed about everything else but when it came to your time in the closet you rushed through it,” Jamie asked.

The two most perceptive men in the world were sitting before me.Damnit! I should have been more careful. I fought the urge to shift in my chair. “I don’t know whatyou want me to tell you. I was stuck in the closet with no choice but to listen to them fuck.”

Stefan’s features slowly morphed, turning cold. His eyes darkened into a monstrous shade. He began to exude anger and that detachment I knew all too well. I’d wondered when his true colors would show. The boss was a trembling sight. Too bad for him I wasn’t thirteen anymore. With so many lessons I’d endured at his hand, there was very little he could do that would scare me.

“Don’t play dumb, Maura,” he said, voice eerily calm. It was like a predator giving false reassurance right before it struck.

“Am I?” I asked just as calmly, my darkness slithering to the surface, taking the reins. Everything in my body released from the tension of the moment to relax into a confident posture. Where he exuded hostility and sharpness like a knife’s edge, my body screamed twisted excitement and eagerness to play. I was in the presence of a formidable opponent, after all. Imagining going head to head with him made an evil smile slowly pull at my mouth.

Easy, girl, he’s not your enemy.

My eyes never left Stefan’s, but I was still hyper aware of both men in the room. It was how I noticed their bodies stiffening at different times, one right after the other, realizing the change in me. Stefan’s anger lessened, his head tilting slightly as he regarded me.

With the slight narrowing of his eyes, I read his next move before his mouth even opened to speak. “Careful.” My voice sounded strange. It was still my voice, yet different. The tone was light, carefree—chipper-sounding, but laced with so much promise. I wasn’t going to be messed with or blood would spill. Mine, theirs, it didn’t matter. Just the thought of seeing blood excited my darkness. “We were doing so well. Let’s not ruin this reunion with threats.”

Having six years away from this family and this way of life had opened my eyes, giving me an outside perspective. My life, my decisions were no longer in the hands of others, especially Stefan. Yes, he had come to my rescue today—cleaned up my mess. I wasn’t ungrateful. In fact, I was indebted, but that didn’t mean I owed him everything. I'd come home by my own volition. I'd given up that beautiful dream of living by the beach. I'd explained what happened, omitting a few things, but they were vulnerabilities and mine to share only if I wanted.

“Is this how you want to do this?” he asked, ice seeping into his voice. He was feeling challenged. His body screamed it by the way his shoulders tightened and his fist resting on the desk clenched before he forced it to relax. He'd used to be the master of being unreadable. Had I gotten better at reading people or had he gotten lax over the years?

I felt equally challenged. That was why the darkest part of my soul rose, ready to take on anything, fight off anything. The rest of me didn’t want to fight, not with Stefan. “No, but you leave me no choice. You want to know something I don’t wish to share, yet you don’t care and demand I tell you anyway.”

“Do you honestly expect me to turn a blind eye to the fact you killed two people and not want to understand why?” He had me there.

“I don’t trust you,” I replied honestly, knowing it would hurt him. By the heavy silence that took over, I was right. I refused to let myself feel guilty. “How do I know you won’t use what I tell you against me later?” At his blatant surprise showing all over his face, I got annoyed and lifted my hand, stopping him from arguing. I didn’t want to be lied to or be placated. I wanted trust. I wanted a healthy relationship with my father. “Let’s make a deal.”

Stefan’s brows shot up, surprised, before he quickly recovered. “A deal for the truth?” He was intrigued.

I nodded. “In order to tell you the truth, I’d be giving up a lot. I want something of equal value and a guarantee it couldn’t be used against me,ever.”

“And that is?”

“No more lessons, tests, or games.” Stefan went statue still. I couldn’t even tell if he was breathing. I wasn’t sure what to make of that. “When it comes to me, I want you to be a father first and the boss second.”

In the back of my mind, I knew forcing him to change didn’t make it real, but I needed things to be different between us. I was done with short lived affection and the too few moments he decided to show he actually cared about me. Call me greedy or desperate, I didn’t care. I wanted a father-daughter relationship with him.

Stefan’s eyes were locked with mine, intensely so. For a good minute as he stared at me unblinkingly, I don’t think he even saw me. He seemed far away, lost in his thoughts.

“No more lessons, tests, or games,” he finally agreed.

I narrowed my eyes. “And the rest?”

“I don’t understand why you’d even feel the need to ask for that,” he grumbled, sounding beyond irked and frowning with disappointment.

I couldn’t let that deter me, even if it made my chest tight. “I still need you to agree to it,” I said, unrelenting.

He clenched his teeth, making the muscle in his jaw twitch. “If that’s what you need to hear, daughter, fine. I’llagree to all of it. Now, let’s get this over with.”

My darkness faded, tapering down just below the surface. I leaned back in my chair, feeling more defeated than elated, but now I could at least let it show. Everything was catching up to me. Even though I was getting what I wanted, this moment didn’t feel like a victory. I still had to fulfill my end of the deal. My eyes dropped from Stefan’s. I couldn’t look at either man. Instead, I focused on a dark spot that was a ripple within the wood of his desk.

Tom was the only man I'd willingly been intimate with. The only other time…

My whole body was tense. I didn’t realize my hands were squeezing into tight fists until my nails started biting into my palms. The pain anchored me as I prepared to lay it all out for them, because if they were going to make me do this, then they were going to get it all.

I could use a drink.With that thought, I got up and made my way over to Stefan’s liquor trolley. I poured whatever was in the tall decanter into a glass and took a big burning swallow.Whiskey. It was the perfect drink for the moment.