Page 80 of Embrace the Darkness

I went back to rubbing my temples. That time of my life had been a huge cluster fuck and it hurt my head just thinking about it. “Is there a point? Why are you telling me all of this?”

“When Dean called me yesterday and said you were in De Luca’s club, I was so fucking scared I wasn’t going to get to you in time. Then I get there and find that not only are you naked, but you just got done giving the enemya lap dance.” Nostrils flaring, he took in a deep calming breath.

“I didn’t have a choice. I was posing as a waitress. De Luca took one look at me and knew I wasn’t supposed to be there. Then I was requested for a dance. At first, I thought it was Mark who requested me because we were headed towards the same room. It wasn’t until I got there that I realized it was De Luca who requested me and by that point I didn’t have the option of leaving. He had a guard at the door. I was outnumbered and unarmed. I hated every minute of it, and it killed me knowing it was going to hurt you.”

With a furrowed brow, he nodded curtly. “I know. If it had been someone else, I still would have been pissed, but…the way he looked at you. He wanted you. He had touched you and I couldn’t handle it.”

“You were jealous, and it set you off even more because it was De Luca?” I asked, clarifying.

He gave me another curt nod.

“You called me a whore,” I seethed, making him wince.

I dropped my eyes to the floor. What was I supposed to do with this information? Forgive and forget? Just because he hated De Luca didn’t excuse how fucking badly he'd made me feel. How was he going to react when he found out I had a date with the don? Was he going to lose his shit again and we’d be right back where we started? Not to mention what had happened today with Angela. Should I believe there was nothing going on between them? Then why had he touched her? Kissed her? This whole situation was fucked.

My eyes bored into the carpet, feeling hopeless. Feet stepped into my line of sight and Jamie knelt before me. His hands cupped my face, gently lifting my head to face him. “I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean any of it. I didn’t know how to handle what I was feeling, and I lashed out.”

I looked back and forth between his hazel eyes, reading the sincerity in them. “What about Angela?”

His jaw clenched and his hands dropped from my face. “What about her?”

“Explain what the fuck that was—what I saw?”

This time his eyes dropped to the floor. “Nothing happened. I was still pissed. She was there. I knew you were coming. All I did was whisper in her ear. That’s it. I wanted you to understand what I was feeling.”

My spine went ramrod straight as I sat there barely breathing. I would've sworn I was dying if my fucking heart hadn’t hurt so much. A part of me wanted to shut down, block out the world and let myself break or cry, anything to ease the pain. The other part of me wanted tolash out, set the world on fire, stoop to his fucking level. Seeing how I wasn’t in the best place to fall apart…

I pulled my phone from my purse and sent a text to Dean, telling him I was coming out before I stood, slinging my purse over my shoulder. Jamie stood with me, eyeing my purse, then he stepped in front of me. “I know I fucked up, but you have to know—”

“Do you know the difference between me giving De Luca a lap dance and you pretending to be interested in Angela? I didn’t purposely set out to hurt you. I forgive you for yesterday. Couples fight. There’s no escaping that, but today…you knew that would fucking gut me. Tom cheating on me messed with my self worth. You, though, fucking destroyed it, along with my trust.” Tears filled my eyes again. This time I was determined to keep them from falling. I’d be damned if I shed a single one in front of him.

“Please—”

I sidestepped him before he could spew any more excuses. I made it to the door and got the handle turned before his hand slammed down on the door, preventing me from pulling it open. His chest molded along my back, caging me between him and the door.

“Nicoli De Luca asked me to dinner and I accepted,” I said over my shoulder. Hurting him was the only wayhe was going to let me go. When I felt his body stiffen behind me, I knew I'd succeeded. His hand dropped from the door and he stepped away. I didn’t let myself glance back. I kept my eyes forward, pulled open the door, and walked out.

Dean was standing by his car waiting for me. My tears fell freely the moment I saw him. The determination and strength holding them back dwindled to nothing. My emotions were overwhelming, and I was drunk. Which was why I didn’t make it to Dean. Instead, I veered to the right behind a tall bush and threw up.

CHAPTER 35

Pain. That was what I woke up to. To be more specific, I woke to a mind-splitting, eye-blurring, oh-God-this-is-how-my-life-is-going-to-end hangover. I knew I'd drunk a lot at Louie’s but not enough to feel like this. I turned over onto my side and groaned. My mouth tasted like acidic roadkill that made my stomach roll.

I squinted my eyes open, blinking away the blurriness. The light was dim, thanks to my curtains blocking out most of the sun. I was home and in my room. For the life of me I had no idea how I’d gotten there. The last thing I remembered from last night was throwing up in the bushes while Dean held my hair back. After that, nothing.

Very slowly, I sat up. The room spun and I had to focus solely on breathing to keep whatever was left in my stomach down. I needed to pee, and I desperately wanted to brush my teeth. A shower was definitely in my near future. I just needed to make it to the bathroom first.

Shoving the covers off, I climbed out of bed. I was still wearing my shirt and panties from last night, but my pants and bra were gone. Dragging my feet and grabbing onto each piece of furniture to help keep me standing upright, I started for the bathroom. Once I made it to the couch, the halfway point to the bathroom, I nearly jumped out of my skin when I realized I wasn’t alone. Dean was sprawled out on my couch in a deep sleep.Why is he sleeping on my couch?

I tapped on his sock covered foot. He startled awake, blinked a few times before his eyes met mine. He was lying on his back with a throw covering his hips down to his ankles. He was fully dressed, apart from his shoes kicked off in front of the couch. He rubbed down his face, wiping away the fog of sleep before he yawned and sat up.

“How are you feeling?” His voice was gruff, and his scowl was already in place.

I put a hand to my queasy stomach. The moment my fingers touched the thin fabric of my shirt, I remembered my state of undress. No bra and my light blue pantieswere on full display. Then I remembered Dean had seen me practically naked at Show 'n Tail and that helped taper my embarrassment.

“I feel like shit. I can’t remember how I got home.”

Dean shook his head. “I doubt I’d be able to remember anything with how much you drank last night and that was after we got back here. I have no idea how much you drank at Louie’s, but you were already puking before we left.”