Page 62 of Embrace the Darkness

“You promised,” I seethed.

“Maura?” Jamie said calmly, but uncertainty underscored my name.

I shifted the gun slightly and pulled the trigger. The shot rang out, zipping past Stefan’s head and through the two-way mirror, shattering it. Screams and chaos erupted in the restaurant.

“Have fun cleaning this up,” I sneered at him before I tossed the gun on the table and scooped up my wristlet. I walked out of the private dining room into the chaotic restaurant, leaving nothing but stunned and speechless criminals in my wake.

CHAPTER 26

I walked around aimlessly. My feet were killing me. My beautiful heels were scuffed to ruin. I decided a break was needed when I came upon a playground in a park. I kicked off my tortuous pumps at the edge of the sand pit surrounding the swings, and that first bare step I took into the cool sand was agonizingly good. Each step after that, my feet sunk deep while being massaged by a million grains of exfoliating dirt. I groaned with relief.

I was rocking gently back and forth on one of the swings while my toes drew in the sand when I heard a car approach. I listened as multiple car doors opened, followed by the sound of gravel crunching underfoot. I didn’t look up to see who it was because I already knew.

There had been no doubt he’d eventually find me. I contemplated what I was going to do. When I'd originally made the deal with Stefan, things had been different. I'd had every intention of disappearing if he fucked up by sliding back into his old ways. I had enough cash in a safety deposit box and a contact I'd met at Trinity who could get me new identification for the right price. That was my plan a week ago, but now the thought of leaving…

Like I'd said, things were different. I was different.

Stefan had broken his word and my trust. What was worse, he'd made me feel real fear, something I hadn’t felt in a long time. His stupid test had scared the shit out of me because I'd truly believed he and Jamie had been about to die—the two people I loved most in this world. The fucked up thing was that I valued their lives over my own, despite not knowing if they loved me in return. I couldn’t really fault Jamie, though. We'd just started whatever it was we were doing, but we still had the love of friendship. Stefan, however, he’d never told me he loved me. Ever. We’d made some progress this past week, but was it enough for me to forgive and forget tonight’s betrayal? What kind of message would that send if I did?

In my peripheral, Oxfords planted themselves at the edge of the sand pit next to my discarded pumps.

“It’s getting cold out,” Stefan said, breaking the silence.

Now that he mentioned it, I guessed it was a little chilly out. Having it brought to my attention, I shivered.

I held my emotions at bay as I looked up to face him. He was standing there with his hands in his pockets, fog puffing into small clouds around his face each time he released a breath. With the way he regarded me from a distance, it was as if I were a coiled snake at the ready and he was hesitant to approach or make any sudden movements, fearing I might strike. It was an unusual look for him to seem so unsure, especially around me. I’d also never threatened him with a gun before. Tonight was becoming full of firsts for us.

“You never allowed me to play at one of these when I was little,” I said, gesturing at the playground. His eyes left mine to slowly roam over the jungle gym with a steep slide and monkey bars. “I remember driving past these all the time, seeing kids around my age looking carefree and happy as they played. They had an innocence about them I’ve never known. I was envious.” I was aiming to sound nonchalant, but I couldn’t hide the bitterness and resentment I felt.

He listened silently, standing there like a statue until his eyes flicked back to mine.

“You don’t make it easy, you know that?” I laughed dryly while shaking my head.

His eyes narrowed with puzzlement.

“You’ve put me through one fucked up test after another and have made me play too many mind games to count. Do you ever stop to think, maybe you’ve gone too far? Or are you trying to make me hate you?”

He didn’t respond for the longest time, but I could see the wheels turning, or should I say, grinding angrily. I'd successfully pissed him off. You’d think I’d slapped him with how hard his features became.Good. He should know how it feels.He'd toyed with me tonight, completely disregarding my feelings and our deal. He'd taken what I’d say was my worst fear and played it out in front of me, torturing me. And for what? To see if I’d break?Screw him!

“Everything I’ve done, or you think I’ve taken from you, I did for your own good. You don’t know what it’s like to be a parent. You don’t know what sacrifices or hardships I’ve had to endure to make sure you were safe. So don’t you sit there and give me that oh-woe-is-mebullshit, Maura,” he snapped, pulling his hands from his pockets to rest at his sides. They opened before they squeezed shut into white knuckled fists, then he relaxed them again. “The innocence you’re so envious of is a prison and you should be grateful I freed you from it. To be innocent is to live in a constant state of ignorance anda false sense of happiness. I’d be damned if I left you that weak and vulnerable. We live in a cruel and harsh world. If you haven’t figured that out by now, then I have failed,” he said, pointing at me, chest heaving. He was struggling to keep his voice calm.

I stopped swinging to listen to him, to watch him because I’d never seen him so emotional. I'd wanted to piss him off a moment ago, in a childish attempt to seek revenge for what he'd put me through, but now I kind of felt bad. Only a teeny tiny bit, though.

“You were just six weeks old when I lost your mother. I was alone with a new baby and had more enemies than I could count barking at our doorstep. If you were going to survive, you needed to be smart and strong.” The conviction and pain in his voice made my chest hurt. Even to this day, it still pained him to talk about her. I didn’t want to imagine how hard it must have been for him at that time in his life, but he painted a vivid picture.

To calm himself, Stefan took a deep breath. A large cloud of fog formed around him when he released it.

“You are,” he whispered, pulling my attention back to him. “You are so smart. The way you read people and situations…you see things that other people don’t and you’re quick about it. Tonight, you knew right away something wasn’t right. I was watching you, Maura. You looked Sasha and his men over and came to a decision in less than five seconds. I watched as you swiveled that steak knife inward to hide it, knowing, preparing.” He smiled as he stood there remembering. “Your strength is even more remarkable. You stared down the barrel of Sasha’s gun with the cruelest smile I’ve ever seen, and I’ve never been so proud of you.”

“I don’t understand why I was given a test to begin with. What was worth going back on your word?” I asked, allowing my hurt to be heard.

“It’s tradition. A test of loyalty. A lot of people break when pressed with fear. I needed to know you wouldn’t. Since you’re not afraid of dying yourself, I had to find something that would make you equally afraid, if not more. You gave me the idea last night when you were talking with Ian. He betrayed us because of his love for his daughter. You were right, by the way. His daughter is sick. He and his wife couldn’t afford her treatment. I decided to let his wife keep the money.” He gave me a pointed look, reminding me of the promise I'd made when it hadn't been my place. I'd considered writing Stefan a check to replace the money, but now I felt like he deserved to eat the loss.

“Back to the point.” He cleared his throat. “I used your love for Jameson and myself against you and it worked.You were frightened when you wholeheartedly thought we were going to die. It took strength to work through that fear instead of rolling over and giving them what they wanted to try and save us.”

“Some fucking tradition,” I grumbled, still not seeing the point.

“I test everyone when I’ve decided they’re ready to join the fold,” he said.The fold?“I even tested Jameson.” My brows shot up, curiosity piqued. “It was a similar test. He didn’t break, but he wasn’t as quick thinking as you were. Nor did anyone get hurt. That was a first and I’m so happy I got it recorded. I’ll be showing off the video in next week’s family meeting.” He chuckled.