Page 50 of Denim & Diamonds

Brock

A couple of days later, things hadn’t gotten any easier. My eyes were groggy because I’d barely gotten any sleep last night. I needed coffee—stat. But I had to clean up my son first.

Just as I’d put a fresh diaper under Patrick, a blast of liquid shot up at me.

“Ugh! You little bugger. You pissed in my eye!”

He wriggled his arms and legs as he lay on the changing table I’d managed to squeeze into a corner next to my bed.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” I reached for a baby wipe, patting my eye before I looked down and saw brown freshly splattered.

“Aw, man. What the heck?”

When it rained, it poured with this kid.

“I swear sometimes you do this on purpose. The second I get a new diaper out, you get me. It’s a game to you, isn’t it? Like Whac-A-Mole.”

Oak stood at the doorway and barked. Poor guy didn’t know what had hit him since I’d brought Patrick home. My other son was not too happy about the new living situation.

“I hear you. I know you need to go out,” I told him. “But I have to get your brother settled first.”

He barked again, this time with more fervor.

“Yeah. Yeah. Hold your horses.”

Oak had been especially difficult since I’d yelled at him for pulling one of Patrick’s diapers out of the trash yesterday.

God only knows what he wanted to do with it, but thank fuck I caught him before finding out.

Anyway, I hadn’t meant to yell at him so badly, but the whole thing had freaked me out, and now I was paying for it with his attitude today.

He plopped to the ground and groaned.

I hadn’t factored in how inconvenient it would be taking a dog out with a baby. Sometimes Oak wanted to go when Patrick was sleeping. And when the baby was awake, I had to put him in the carrier and take him with me just to go out for five minutes.

I made a mental note to ask around for a dog walker.

The back of my apartment was fenced in, but Oak never liked to do his business without taking a walk.

The new cabin would have a bigger yard; maybe he’d like that better.

But the move wouldn’t happen as fast as I’d hoped, even with my brothers helping me finish the cabin starting next week.

The construction now took a backseat to Patrick, just like everything else in my life.

Still, it was a gift to experience raising this little mini-me.

As hard as it was, I wouldn’t trade a single second.

The way he looked up at me on occasion, like I was his entire world, more than made up for the tough parts.

I supposed I was his entire world, which was crazy.

That didn’t seem right. He deserved more than just me.

I managed to get Patrick cleaned up and into the carrier to take Oak out. Thankfully, the dog didn’t get freaked out by his shadow this morning. Chasing him down the street with a baby strapped to my chest wasn’t ideal.

The second we got back to the apartment, I was about to finally pour myself a morning coffee when Patrick started crying. It was time for his formula, so I fed him before getting caffeinated. Headache be damned.

After he finished his bottle, I set him in his mechanical swing just off the kitchen. He immediately started crying all over again.

“What’s wrong, man? You can’t still be hungry!”

I picked him back up, and he stopped crying.

“I see what you’re doing.” I shook my head. “I can’t keep holding you, you know. I need to have my coffee so I have energy to deal with the rest of the day with you. I can’t drink it with you in my arms because I’m afraid I’ll burn you. Can you at least give me five minutes?”

I tried again to put him in his swing, but he cried even harder.

Lifting Patrick into my arms again, I rocked him. “I’m doing the best I can, little dude. But if Daddy doesn’t have his coffee soon, we’re both gonna be crying.”

Someone knocked on the door.

I didn’t care who the hell it was—the mailman, even—they’d be holding my son for five minutes so I could make my damn coffee.

With Patrick in one arm, I opened the door to find my brother Trevor.

He grinned. “Hey, I was just—”

“Here.” I handed him the baby. “Take him. Rock him for a bit.”

My brother awkwardly bounced Patrick back and forth while I headed straight for the coffeemaker.

Thankfully, Patrick didn’t cry. At least he didn’t insist on being held only by me.

That gave me some hope for the future, that I’d actually be able to hire help when I was ready.

I wasn’t quite there yet. Elvin had said Linda would watch Patrick next week so we could all work on the cabin, but I couldn’t imagine leaving him for an entire day. I’d have to play it by ear.

Trevor tilted his head. “You okay?”

“I will be once I get some caffeine in me.” I opened the cabinet and grabbed a pod. “You want a coffee?”

“No. I’m good. Just had one. You look tired,” he added after a moment.

“Let’s see… No sleep. No coffee. That’d do it, wouldn’t it?” I watched eagerly as the coffee dripped out of the single-serve coffeemaker. I grabbed the mug before the gurgling even stopped and downed half of it.

When the mug was empty, I headed for the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” Trevor asked, still rocking Patrick.

“To take a shower. I gotta take advantage while someone’s here. You good?”

He shrugged. “I guess.”

As I headed to the bathroom, I hollered back at him, “He just ate, so he shouldn’t need anything.”

When the door closed behind me, I let out a long, deep breath. Just being alone in here felt like a vacation. For a moment, I felt human again—like myself, without a little human attached to me.

After I exited the shower and dried myself off, I thought about the last time I’d checked social media.

A couple of days ago I’d seen February tagged in a bunch of photos by the wife of that Italian investor.

She’d looked so happy with a drink in her hand and a beautiful landscape behind her.

Seemed like heaven. That was the life she was meant to have.

I returned to the living room and saw that my brother had placed a sleeping Patrick in his bouncy seat.

“Damn. How did you get him to sleep?”

“I did absolutely nothing but look at him. And that’s probably why he relaxed.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re a ball of stress, Brock. You’re rubbing off on him, which is why he can’t calm down. It’s like a domino effect.”

“ You calm down when you haven’t had sleep and get pissed on.”

He wriggled his brows. “How do you know I haven’t gotten pissed on recently?”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t even wanna know…”

Trevor chuckled. “But seriously, you should try to relax.”

“I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t you get your ass over here once a day so I can shower in peace? I don’t really need much. But ten minutes of quiet goes a long way.”

“I can do that for you, brother. Might not be at the same time every day, but I can do it.”

“I’ll take anything you can give. I’m desperate. ”

After Trevor left, I realized it was almost noon, and I hadn’t eaten anything.

My refrigerator was filled with casseroles and other dishes people around town had dropped off. I probably should’ve frozen some of them. My brain didn’t seem to have the capacity to choose what I wanted to eat, so I reached for a random one without even knowing what it was.

Just as I’d closed the fridge, the doorbell rang.

Great. That was gonna wake up Patrick, and I’d never have a chance to eat.

When I opened the door, I nearly fell over at the sight of her.

February.