Page 47 of Denim & Diamonds

February

Giovanni’s butler appeared at my side. “Another limoncello?”

I held out my hand. “Oh, no, thank you. I should probably stop at one.”

Lush greenery surrounded us as I sat with Giovanni’s wife, Francesca, in the backyard of their palatial villa in Milan. Our table was in the middle of a garden. I took a deep breath of the aromatic herbs, a mix of basil, rosemary, and thyme.

Milan was so romantic. Given the circumstances of my life, that was both ironic and sad.

I found myself too distracted to truly enjoy being here, my mind constantly wandering to Brock, my chest filled with a gnawing ache.

As much as I tried to distract myself, the knowledge that Brock’s life was about to change any minute now consumed me.

I still had no real idea what that meant for us.

It was hard to imagine how things could ever work between us once his son arrived, but I couldn’t fathom a world without Brock .

I hadn’t heard from him in two days, and my imagination was going wild.

Had his son been born? Was the baby okay?

Did something happen with the birth? Would Nina pull a fast one and change her mind about raising their son?

Would Brock somehow develop feelings for Nina again after he witnessed her giving birth?

It was odd for him not to check in, so I assumed something had happened.

Francesca interrupted my thoughts. “Everything okay?”

She was about ten years younger than her husband—tall, with long black hair and thick, manicured brows. Giovanni hadn’t joined us, since he had a business meeting. He’d said he wanted me to spend my first full day getting to know his wife. Her question made me realize how transparent my mood was.

My mouth curved into a strained smile as I prepared to answer her question. Was I okay? My first instinct was to lie. But at this point, I felt just about ready to burst, so I decided to tell the truth.

“No. Everything’s not okay, actually, Francesca. And I’m so sorry to bring my emotional baggage to your beautiful home.” My eyes stung, but I did everything in my power not to cry.

“Oh no.” She frowned, seeming genuinely concerned. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m not sure you’re ready for this one.” I laughed sadly.

“Does this have to do with a man?”

“Basically…but it’s complicated. It’s—”

“Trust me. I’ve heard it all. I have a group of close girlfriends who are all single, and you should see the drama that unfolds in their lives. There’s nothing that could surprise me.”

“My boyfriend is having a baby with another woman,” I blurted.

Francesca snapped her fingers. “Giorgio! More limoncello, please. I don’t care what February says. She needs another.”

I sighed. She was probably right. Drowning my sorrows was the only hope I had of getting through this day. Thank goodness I wasn’t meeting with Giovanni for official business until tomorrow.

As Giorgio poured me another drink, I began to explain the Brock situation.

“Why haven’t you called him, if you’re concerned?” Francesca asked. “It will make you feel so much better to speak to him.”

I ran my finger along the rim of my glass. “I guess… I don’t want to interrupt.”

She tilted her head. “But if he cares about you as much as you seem to think, won’t he welcome hearing your voice, no matter what?”

That was probably true. In reality, my own fear had kept me from contacting him.

“I think I’m just afraid to know the truth. As long as the birth hasn’t happened, I can pretend everything is normal.”

“Well, if melancholy is your normal, I feel sad for you. What you’re experiencing now hardly seems normal. Am I right?”

I hung my head and nodded.

“You can put an ocean between you and your troubles, but they’re all still right here, aren’t they?” She paused. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what are you doing in Milan if you love this man and can’t stop thinking about him?”

“Well, Giovanni wanted to meet with me here.”

“Is that really why you came?” She cocked her head. “You could’ve told my husband it wasn’t a good time. He would’ve understood.”

“Pretty sure I’m running away,” I muttered.

She nodded sympathetically. “Yeah.”

I liked Francesca. She had a way of pulling the truth out of me, and without someone calling me out, I would’ve suffered even more in silence.

I took a sip of my drink. “If I’m here, it puts distance between us and removes the option to see him. I don’t have to face this head on.”

“You know, when I married Giovanni, he had two kids of his own.”

“I don’t think I realized that.”

I’d known Giovanni had two sons but assumed Francesca was their mother.

“And you see?” She smiled. “Everything turned out fine. I look at them like my own. And I don’t have the stretch marks like their mother.” She winked.

But the two situations were hardly the same.

“Well, in this case, there would be no birth mother in the picture. Being with Brock would mean I’d be the only mother-figure in the child’s life.

And that’s a tremendous responsibility. Being with him would also mean less time to dedicate to my business, my career.

” I exhaled as a flash of panic hit. “I should probably have my head examined for having this conversation with the wife of a potential partner.”

She reached across the table. “Do not worry. This conversation stays between us. Anything we talk about has absolutely nothing to do with business. ”

My pulse calmed. “Thank you. I appreciate your discretion.” Though I couldn’t imagine her not telling her husband everything after I left.

“So you think it would be difficult to have both a relationship with Brock’s child and a career?” she challenged.

“My life is in New York City. His is out in the country, in Maine.” I stared out at a stone garden statue. “And I’m not sure I can give the child what he needs. Brock and his baby deserve it all.”

Rather than offer further advice, Francesca snapped her fingers again, prompting Giorgio to return and pour me more limoncello. This has to be the last one , I told myself.

After lunch ended, Francesca left me alone as I headed to my room. But I quickly grew antsy. Though I was a little buzzed, I decided to take a walk around the stunning city to clear my head.

While out, I passed the Duomo di Milano cathedral and a beautiful shopping center with luxury stores. Once again, I thought about how I was supposed to be having the time of my life, while it felt like anything but.

A few blocks farther down, my eyes landed on a sign that said Psychic Readings in English. It was in front of a small building that seemed more run down than the others around it. Because of the English sign, I wondered if this psychic catered mostly to gullible tourists.

But I had nothing to lose—or maybe the limoncello decided that for me—so I entered the place to find a woman with a long, black braid scrolling on her phone. Her back was turned to me, and I could see she was watching videos of dogs. They looked like pugs .

“Hello?” I said.

She turned, put her phone down, and gave me a once-over. “Hello.”

I cleared my throat. “I’d like a reading?”

The woman nodded, then got up and charged my card the fifty-dollar fee before returning to her seat.

“I’m Luna,” she said. “And you are?”

“February.”

She arched a brow. “That’s your name?”

“Yes,” I answered, annoyed. If I had a nickel for every person who questioned my name...

She nodded and gestured for me to sit across from her. Luna took my hands in hers as she closed her eyes. My heart beat faster. I wasn’t sure I even believed in this stuff, yet the anticipation of what she might say still made my heart race.

Then she let go of my hands. “I sense a major shift coming in your life.”

Licking my lips, I asked, “What kind of shift?”

“I’m being shown the symbols for both life and death. But I’m not sure how to interpret this.”

Dread filled me. “That doesn’t sound good.”

Luna scratched her chin. “It’s not very often that I experience this kind of confusion when reading people.

” She closed her eyes for a moment. “The death symbol could be a literal reference to death or just the death of a certain part of your life. Same goes for life. There could be new life, figurative rebirth, or the literal start of life.”

I had literally just paid to be freaked out with no answers. My buzz was wearing off fast.

After another ten minutes of confusing, mixed messages that told me absolutely nothing, I decided to get the hell out of there. I stood and practically fled. Bells chimed on the door as I made my exit.

Back out on the street, I looked both ways multiple times, paranoid as I crossed, fearing my apparent impending death.

A bike whizzed by, nearly hitting me. Tomorrow I was supposed to sit down with Giovanni to discuss our partnership.

What a shame it would be if I never made it to our meeting.

A flash of Brock’s face entered my mind.

What a shame if I never get to meet his baby .

Never get to see Brock again . I had to fly back. What if the plane crashed?

As I walked down the cobblestone streets, I knew my anxiety had everything to do with the fact that I’d gone too long without speaking to Brock. Now it had manifested into stress-induced paranoia.

I finally broke down, deciding to call Brock’s brother Trevor to see if he had any information. That was my compromise to avoid interrupting Brock, in case he was in the middle of the birth.

After he answered, I cleared my throat. “Hey, Trevor. It’s February.”

“February…everything okay?”

“Yeah. I, uh…” I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I had your number in my phone. From that time Brock sent the meme about the goat.”

“Ah, yeah. That was funny.” He chuckled. “Well, how can I help you, Fancy Pants?”

That made me smile. It was a semblance of normal—or what normal used to be. It brought me back to days I’d give anything to have again: nights by the fire in Brock’s living room, Oak nestled next to us.

“I was just wondering if you’d heard from Brock. I didn’t want to interrupt him for obvious reasons. ”

“He went to Boston. But I haven’t heard from him since.”

He’s in Boston. I let out a long breath. “I see.”

“Want me to text him? Find out what’s—”

“No,” I insisted. “Please don’t. I just wanted to see if you knew anything. I’ll wait to hear from him. Don’t want to bother him.”

“You sure? I was due to text him anyway.”

“No!” I repeated.

The denialist in me who didn’t want to know the truth had hijacked this conversation.

Trevor sighed. “I know my brother would want to hear from you, no matter what’s going on. Why don’t you just call him?”

There were so many answers to that question.

Because I don’t want to face reality.

Because I’m afraid of hearing in his voice that having a baby somehow changed him.

Because I’ll have to face that another woman gave birth to his son.

Because once it happens, it might really be over between us.

“I might call…at some point,” I said.

After a long moment of silence, he added, “It’s okay to be freaked out.”

I swallowed. “I guess I’m not very good at hiding it, huh?”

“I don’t think my brother expects you to be handling this well. Certainly not any better than he’s handling it.” Trevor laughed. “He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing. This is gonna be interesting to watch.”

“You’d better do more than watch. He’s gonna need your help. ”

“It’ll be like the blind leading the blind, then.” He cackled. “But yeah, I already told him I’d take babysitting classes and shit.”

“That’ll score you some points with the ladies.”

“You think? Maybe I can score a hot single mom?” His tone turned serious.

“Look, February, Brock wouldn’t want you to be sad right now.

I happen to know he cares very deeply for you.

And I’m just…really sorry this whole thing happened.

” He paused. “Brock’s been such a good brother.

He deserves happiness. And you make him happy.

I wish he could have it all. But I can also understand why you might not be able to stick around anymore. No one would fault you for that.”

Heat rose from my neck to my face as my feelings consumed me, mostly guilt and sadness.

“All that said… If you have it in you to stick it out, to let my brother show you what he’s capable of, maybe things won’t work out so badly in the end. It just might take a while before he can give you the kind of attention you need.”

This conversation had gone a bit deeper than I’d expected. But I was grateful for his candor. “I’d better go,” I told him. “Thank you so much for taking my call and for the talk. I appreciate it more than you know, Trevor.”

“I’ll call you back if I hear anything, okay?”

“That would be wonderful. I appreciate it.”

“No problem. Take care, February.”

“You, too.”

After we hung up, I somehow found myself in front of the psychic place again. How the heck did that happen? I looked around and realized that while I’d thought I’d been walking home, I’d walked in a circle, ending up where I started.

Just great. Now you’ve totally lost your mind.

That was my life lately, I supposed. Just when I thought I was making headway in getting over Brock, or at least accepting reality, I’d end up at square one, second-guessing everything.

I took the fact that I was here again as a sign to go inside and give Luna a piece of my mind for freaking me out.

But the moment I entered, she rushed to me, her eyes wide. “I’m so glad you came back!”

“Why?”

“I received further clarification. The symbols were very much about birth, not death. There is definitely a rebirth happening in your life, if not an actual birth.” She leaned in. “Is there any possibility that you could be pregnant?”

Pausing to think, I realized I’d just gotten my period.

“No. That’s definitely not the case.” Imagine that plot twist, huh?

I cringed at the thought. “There’s no pregnancy on the horizon.

That’s all I can tell you.” Not mine at least. Now I worried the psychic was able to sense something pertaining to Brock’s baby.

I decided I didn’t want to know anything else and exited before she could give me any other info.

Taking out my phone, I made sure to open a navigation app this time, so I knew where the hell I was going. I had the directions under control this time, but as I began to walk, tears rolled down my cheeks as I finally lost the last shred of my ability to manage my emotions .

And for the first time today, I knew I needed to call Brock. This couldn’t wait any longer.

When I got back to the villa, I FaceTimed him from the privacy of the gorgeous guest bedroom I’d been staying in.

My heart pounded as I waited for him to answer.

When my beautiful man popped up on the screen, the sight nearly knocked the wind out of me.

Because he wasn’t alone. He was holding a baby swaddled in a blanket.