Page 49 of Denim & Diamonds

Brock

“Jesus Christ.” I rocked the baby back and forth, but it didn’t stop him from crying. Beads of sweat dripped down my back, and I could feel the eyes of the passengers sitting nearby boring into me. I looked to the woman sitting to my right. “Sorry.”

She gave me a bullshit smile and whipped to the next page of her magazine.

I should’ve asked her to switch seats with my brother before we took off.

Elvin was seated two rows back, and I could’ve really used his experience right now.

I had no idea what the hell was wrong with Patrick.

He’d been fine when we boarded, and he’d fallen asleep while we were on the runway, but as soon as we took off, he started wailing.

I looked down at his red face and rocked some more.

“Shhh… It’s okay, little buddy. Everything’s gonna be fine. ”

A few minutes later, we leveled out at flying altitude, and the captain made an announcement that we were free to move about the cabin.

I thought about getting up and going back to see Elvin, but what if we hit turbulence and the baby got knocked from my hands?

No, no… I needed to stay seated and belted in.

But thank God , a few minutes later my brother appeared in the aisle at my side. “Kid’s got some set of lungs.”

I sighed. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He was fine until we took off. I tried to give him the bottle, but he sucked once and then let the formula dribble out of the side of his mouth.”

“Hand him over. Let me give it a try.”

I shook my head vigorously. “No way. It’s not safe. What if we hit turbulence?”

Elvin looked amused, but I definitely wasn’t. He leaned toward the woman sitting next to me. “Excuse me. Would you mind changing seats with me? I’m just two rows back in a window seat, same as you.”

The woman couldn’t unbuckle fast enough. She grabbed her bag from under the seat and practically ran to row fourteen. Elvin parked himself next to me and put his hands out for the baby.

“Buckle first,” I snapped.

My brother reached for the seatbelt, shaking his head. “Jesus Christ. You’re not going to wrap the kid in foam padding, are you?”

After a click, he held his hands out again. “Come visit Uncle E, buddy.”

I passed Patrick to him, and Elvin rocked back and forth a few times. To my utter amazement, the baby stopped crying. “Seriously? What was I doing wrong?”

He laughed. “Maybe he felt the stress radiating from you. Babies tend to be sensitive to the emotional cues of their parents. They pick up on anxiety from movements and body language. ”

“Then I’m screwed because I can’t imagine not being stressed the first—I don’t know—eighteen years of his life?”

“He probably started crying because he felt the pressure in his ears from takeoff. Do you have a pacifier?”

“I do. But I tried the bottle and he didn’t want it.”

“Sometimes they want to suck but not drink. Give it to me.”

I handed over the rubber pacifier I’d wrapped in a paper towel and within a minute, Patrick had nodded off to sleep.

“He’s also warm,” my brother noted. “It’s hot in here, and I can still feel your body heat on him through his blanket. I’m going to unwrap him and let him breathe for a minute while he sleeps.”

“Uh…maybe you shouldn’t—”

Though it was too late. Elvin peeled back the first layer of my “swaddle” and his eyebrows jumped. “Are you shitting me, bro? Duct tape ?”

I hadn’t been able to get the stupid swaddle to stay closed the way the nurses had, so Patrick and I took a walk to the hardware store down the block, and I duct taped the layers of swaddle together to keep it closed. “That was the best I could do. And don’t curse around my kid.”

“I’ll show you how to swaddle once we land.”

I let out a heavy breath. “Can you show me how to be a father? Because I have no damn clue.”

Elvin smiled. “You’re going to be great. You might not know everything, but you found a way to get the job done, didn’t you?”

“I’m terrified I’m going to screw up. ”

“So you’ve said. And I’ve told you that’s a given.

But you’ll both survive it. I screwed up plenty with my kids.

When Ethan was two weeks old, he woke up screaming in the middle of the night.

I decided to be a hero and get up for a change, but it takes me a while to really wake up.

Ethan drank powdered formula, so I went into the kitchen and mixed him a bottle.

But he wouldn’t stop fussing while I fed it to him.

Turned out, I’d mixed my protein powder, so he was drinking Muscle Milk.

Another time, we got this fancy new jogging stroller.

The thing had everything—cup holder, shock absorbers, place to clip your phone.

Anyway, I decided to be the ultimate adventurer and take the baby to the nature trail around Sizemore Lake.

As I was walking, a squirrel ran across the path in front of me, and I thought I’d snap a picture with Ethan and the furry guy in the frame together.

So I started running after the squirrel, into the wooded area.

It was a jogging stroller with beefy tires and shocks, so I figured it was meant for off-roading.

But a hundred feet in, I hit a rock and the stroller lurched forward.

Ethan, who was strapped into the damn thing, somehow flew out like he was launched from a cannon with no helmet.

Luckily, he landed in a bush, and didn’t bash his head on a rock, but he still got a couple of good scrapes and was bleeding.

” Elvin pointed at me. “And if you ever tell Linda that story, I’ll put itching powder in all your boxers like we did to Axe for his sixteenth birthday.

Linda thinks I was carrying him and some asshole cyclist whizzed by and knocked us over. ”

“Are you trying to make me feel better? Because those two moronic stories just made me feel worse. What if my kid lands on the rock instead of the bush? ”

Elvin chuckled. “Then you’ll duct tape his head shut.”

The rest of the flight went by without incident, and Patrick was an angel as we waited for our luggage and drove home. I’d taken an Uber to the airport since I’d had no idea how long I was going to be gone, but Elvin had parked in short-term parking, so he drove me to my apartment.

“I need to grab my house keys from the bar,” he said. “I forgot them when I stopped in the other night. Linda’s not fond of being my doorman.”

“Alright, well, thanks for making the trip. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem. But why don’t you stop in at the bar with me? I’m sure the regulars would love to see the baby.”

“Maybe tomorrow. It’s already been a long day.”

Elvin put a hand on my shoulder and steered me to the bar entrance. “Five minutes.”

I sighed. I didn’t want to argue since he’d done so much for me. I was holding the baby, so Elvin opened the door. I took one step in and…

“Surprise!”

Holy shit. The bar was packed with people. At first I was confused. What the hell is going on? It wasn’t my birthday. But then I scanned the room and found a blue glittery sign draped along the back wall. Baby Shower. I hadn’t moved from inside the doorway, so Elvin prompted me to step in farther.

“Sorry,” he said. “But this shit is a rite of passage.”

“Yeah, for the mother .”

“Well, you’re Mister Mom. So put on your best pageant smile and let the ladies coo over that cute little peanut.”

Over the next three hours, half the town of Meadowbrook met Patrick.

I didn’t love the idea of so many people being around my week-old son, but I tried to make the best of it by reminding myself of an article I’d read during one of my late-night baby-raising reading binges this week.

It said recent studies showed that infants are born with a stronger immune system than most people think.

Though to be safe, I didn’t let anyone except Elvin and Linda hold him.

By the time people finally left, I was ready for an early bedtime.

I looked around at the plethora of gifts. “Where am I going to put all this stuff?”

“At your cabin.”

“I guess I could store some of it there.”

“I meant use it there. You might not have noticed with the big haul you got, but there weren’t any gifts from me, Trev, Fritz, Mad, or Axe.”

“Okay…”

“Our gift is two weeks.”

“I’m not following...”

“The six of us are going to finish your house. I know you wanted to do it all yourself, but I’m guessing right about now you would agree that it’s more important to get that house done than to build it alone.

We all cleared our schedule for two full weeks, and Linda is going to help out with the baby.

A bunch of our buddies are going to come each day, too.

We already set up a nursery in one of the rooms at the cabin using Ethan’s old crib and stuff, so you don’t have to bring supplies back and forth on the days you want to bring him.

Babies don’t do much but sleep the first few months anyway. ”

“I can’t ask you all to do that. ”

“You’re not asking. I’m telling you. And it’s a done deal. We’re starting next Monday, so get your shit in order by then.”

I looked around at all the boxes of baby stuff—all the very large boxes. Elvin was right. The apartment upstairs was too small. A kid took up space. So I nodded. “Thank you. That would be great.”

Elvin clapped his hand to my shoulder and glanced around at all the packages. “Looks like you have everything you need, and then some.”

I nodded, but I knew that wasn’t quite true. Everything except what I need most: February.