Page 39 of Denim & Diamonds

Brock

I’d just finished with the swab. My nerves were going a mile a minute because now that it was over, everything felt so final. There was no turning back from potentially getting the news that I was going to be a father. My life as I knew it might never be the same.

I returned to sit in my truck with my head resting against the back of the seat. As much as I didn’t want to share this with anyone, I picked up the phone and called Trevor.

He answered, his voice groggy. “Hey, dude. Why so damn early?”

Shit. He was usually still sleeping at this time.

“I’m in trouble, man,” I confessed.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, sounding alarmed.

I scratched my head. “Sorry to scare you. I’m physically okay. But something’s come up—something big and unexpected.”

“Did something happen with February?”

I shut my eyes. “Not exactly. But it could mean the end of things with her. ”

“What is it?”

I took a deep breath and told him what had happened with Nina showing up.

Trevor was just as shocked as I’d been. “Ho-lee shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it makes sense now why she’s been so damn persistent in trying to reach you.” He sighed. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“You and me both, brother,” I muttered. “You and me both. I feel like I’m in the middle of a fever dream.”

“I wish I could make this go away for you. Axe and I were just talking about how cool it was to see you so damn happy with February. And now this.” He paused. “How’s she handling it?”

“Pretty sure it’s over with her.”

“Why do you say that?”

“We said goodbye to each other before I left for the lab. She didn’t want to wait for me to drive her to the airport, and instead called a car.

I didn’t argue because I needed to get this damn test over with, and she was probably better off not having to deal with another second of this nightmare.

I wouldn’t want this situation either, if I were her. ”

“Hold up. She said she couldn’t handle it, or you’re assuming that?”

“She didn’t say it exactly. But she’s in a state of shock, and when the fog lessens, she’ll realize even more clearly that she wants nothing to do with this.”

“How are you so certain of that?”

I paused, unsure whether to tell him about February’s pregnancy scare .

“There was a time she thought she might be pregnant by an ex, and she said she wasn’t sure if she wanted kids. She was relieved when the test turned out to be negative. And this wouldn’t even be her kid. Why would someone who wasn’t sure they wanted kids of their own want to raise someone else’s?”

He sighed.

If Trevor couldn’t come up with a rebuttal to make me feel better, that likely meant he knew I was screwed when it came to February now.

“When do you get the results?” he asked.

“Twenty-four hours. But you know how you just know sometimes? I already know I’m this baby’s father. It’s just a matter of figuring out what to do with that information.”

“Maybe there’s a reason this happened.”

“Not sure I’m following you…”

“Maybe it was meant to be.”

I ran a hand through my hair. “Okay. Still not following you.”

“I’m not sure you would’ve ever decided to have kids were it not for an accident like this, Brock. Maybe this is your chance to experience something you never knew you wanted?”

“I haven’t made a decision about raising this baby.”

“Brock, seriously? I know you. You would never let anyone else raise your kid. You treat us all like your kids, and you’re the best damn pseudo-father around. So, while you might not have officially made your decision, I already know how this is going to go.”

I knew he was right, but I still couldn’t accept that this was happening, let alone admit that I’d be keeping the baby .

I rubbed my eyes. “Maybe by some miracle he’ll turn out not to be mine.”

“Wait… he ?”

“Yeah.” I swallowed. “It’s a boy.”

Trevor went silent on the other end. “A boy?” he finally said.

“Yeah…”

“I’m gonna have a nephew?” I could hear the excitement in his tone.

I attempted to quell it. “Trev…”

“Sorry. I—”

“Don’t get all emotional on me. We don’t know shit yet.”

“Right.” He cleared his throat. “Yeah. Of course. But just know, if he is one of us, we’ll all help you. This little guy will be raised by a band of brothers.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “I think that sounds good in theory, but if you’re not gonna be there to wipe his ass in the middle of the night, I’m not sure it counts.”

“Okay, maybe you’re right. But we’ll help out however we can. I’ll take some babysitting classes if I have to. Learn CPR.”

“Now that’s funny.”

“I’m trying to be serious here.”

“You’ll have a better chance at seducing some woman to help me,” I taunted.

“Hey, whatever works.” He laughed.

“Anyway, I appreciate you wanting to help. But this is my mess to handle.”

“Will you promise to let me know as soon as you find out the results?”

“Yeah, of course.” I sighed. “I’ll let you go. Oak’s probably freaked out by my weird behavior. I need to get home to make sure he’s okay. ”

When I got back, I stopped short at the sight of February still sitting on my couch. She’d had her head in her hands and jumped when the door opened.

My eyes widened. “I thought you were leaving…”

She stood and came over to me. “I was wrong. I realized the reason I wanted to leave was because I was scared. But once I thought it through, I figured out that leaving you wasn’t what I wanted at all.”

Hope filled me. “Are you sure? Because I don’t need your sympathy, Red.”

“This isn’t about sympathy.” She wrapped her hands around my cheeks. “My heart wants to stay. I couldn’t leave you to wait for these results all alone.”

There was that damn hope trying to seep through again, a glimmer of faith that maybe she wouldn’t bail if the worst-case scenario came true.

“I paid for the expedited test. So we should know by tomorrow.”

“I’ll stay whether it’s twenty-four hours or a week. I don’t want you to go through this alone.”

Pulling her into a hug, I breathed her in and reveled in her warm presence. “Thank you, baby.”

The next twenty-four hours would be excruciating. But having her here would help me get through the wait. That said, what would happen after the twenty-four hours concerned me most. Suddenly, my guard went up.

“The thing is, Red, while I appreciate your support right now, any additional time I spend with you is only going to make it harder to let you go if you decide not to stick around when we get confirmation that this baby is mine.”

“Neither of us can possibly know how we’re gonna handle something that hasn’t happened yet, Brock.

I feel like we both need to take this situation moment by moment.

” She began to pace. “Am I freaked out a little? Okay… a lot ? Yeah. But right now? We don’t have the answer.

What we do have is each other and the entire day ahead of us. ”

I placed my hand on her shoulder to stop her pacing and kissed her forehead. “Thank you for staying,” I said.

“Of course.”

Oak seemed to be patiently listening to us from across the room. Jesus . Had I even taken him out this morning? I couldn’t remember. That’s how I knew my head wasn’t screwed on straight.

“I’d better take Oak out,” I said.

“I just did. Before you got here.”

“You did?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “He really needed to go.”

“He didn’t get spooked by his shadow and try to run?”

February shook her head. “Nope. We had a nice walk, actually.”

“I don’t know what you’ve done to my dog, but please keep doing it.”

Another wave of sadness came over me as I realized Oak would miss February, too. My pessimism couldn’t be stopped.

After a bit, she and I decided to get out of the house for a while.

We went to the center of town, walked around, and got lunch, though I didn’t have much of an appetite.

It seemed everywhere we went today, we were surrounded by babies.

And each time we passed one, February looked over at me for a reaction.

My cheeks would burn, and I had no idea what to do with myself. Was she trying to gauge my decision ?

At the moment, we were trapped in a line at the home improvement store. And sure enough, in front of us was a toddler giving me googly eyes.

Finally, February nudged my shoulder. “The universe is definitely messing with us today, huh? All these babies and toddlers everywhere.”

“I thought it was just me.” I stuck my tongue out at the little boy, which caused him to cackle. “Maybe they were always around, but now we’re noticing them.”

She shrugged. “Or maybe in a weird way, the universe is trying to prepare you…”

My stomach sank. This time out of the house was supposed to be a distraction. It had turned into anything but.

February and I stopped at a café for coffee on the way home. We sat across from each other, both mostly lost in thought, when I caught her staring at me.

“What’s on your mind?” I asked.

“You could have a son right now, Brock.” She shook her head. “A son.”

Had the reality of it all only now hit her?

I nodded, and then decided the sooner she knew the better. “I need you to know that if this baby is mine, I’m going to raise it.”

She narrowed her eyes, looking perplexed. “Of course. I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

“You knew that was going to be my decision?”

“Brock…” She smiled. “You’re the gentlest giant I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. And you have the means to care for a child, so why would you give him up?”

I nodded. “I couldn’t imagine giving up my child.”

“You have the biggest heart. It’s why I…”

She stopped herself, and now I might never know how she’d planned to end that sentence. Damn this fucked-up situation.

February reached over and placed her hand on mine. “At least you know. This might be harder if you had to decide.”

“Well, there’s still the fact that I know nothing about raising babies and have no clue how I’m supposed to work and take care of him.”

“You’re gonna be the best father. I have no doubt.”

My brow lifted. “What are you basing that on?”