Page 52 of Deep Blue Lies

FIFTY-ONE

After we speak, Simon asks if I’ll stay and eat on the Celestial .

He explains how they have to keep the galley stocked at all times, because at any moment Antonov can turn up demanding a literal banquet.

So tonight they’re eating lobsters, most of which will go in the bin.

He even offers for me to stay the night in one of the guest suites and catch the bus back to Alythos the next day.

But I don’t want to. I just want to get off here. Get the hell away.

So in the end, Dominic runs me back to the station, just in time to catch the last bus.

It’s a relief to climb back on board, my knees hitting up against the cheap hard plastic of the seat in front.

But I can’t relax, not after what I’ve been told, and my mind races the whole way home.

It’s gone midnight though when I finally arrive back on the island, far too late for the bus to Skalio, but a taxi takes me there. It’s far too late to think clearly too.

I wake up late the next day. There’s a few moments when I just am , with the sun streaming through the cracks between the blinds, but then I remember that I don’t know who I am. Nor how I fit together. My phone already shows a message from Sophia:

I asked my mother about the adoption thing, she says you should check if you’re listed at the records office. She can help if you want ?

As I’m reading it a second message comes in:

How did it go with Simon Double-barrelled-Denzil? Anything exciting?

I stare at them a long while, but don’t reply. Instead I stand up and take myself to the shower. I try to let the water wash away what I’m feeling, but it can’t, and eventually I give up, dry myself and find my phone again. There’s another message from Sophia.

Hi Ava, don’t mean to hassle, but Mamá’s going into Kastria today, if you did want to check the records office?

I stare at it a while, still wrapped in a towel. Then my thumbs press out a reply.

Sure. Yes. Thanks.

They pick me up at midday. Sophia comes into the apartment building to get me, while Maria waits outside in the car.

Before we get there, Sophia asks again how it went with Simon, but I tell her I’ll explain later.

When I get to the car, Maria is kind and chats lightly.

I thank her but she waves it away, saying it’s no big deal, and she has to go into Kastria anyway to fill in a prescription for a neighbour.

She seems to understand my need for this to feel as normal as possible. A regular outing for regular people.

“So, Alythos doesn’t have a main hospital,” Maria starts chatting as she drives. “But it has a clinic which does handle some births. So if you have a passport that says you were born on the island, it’s likely that’s where you were born, and they should have some record of it.”

It’s a simple but good idea. I can’t believe that I didn’t think of it.

“Yeah, thanks.”

I’m in the front seat beside her, and she turns to smile at me.

“ What’s less clear is whether they’ll agree to release it.

Greek bureaucracy can be very opaque, and sometimes who you ask, and the way you ask, is more important than what the rules say.

” She raises her eyebrows before turning back to the road.

“Sophia tells me it’s difficult for you to ask your mother these things?” Maria goes on, not turning back. “She doesn’t want you to learn about your roots?”

“That’s right,” I tell her.

“Well, these things can be tricky,” Maria concludes. “It’s always been better in my view if these things are out in the open, but I know other people don’t feel the same.” She gives me a sympathetic look, and turns the car into the parking area of a small medical centre on the outskirts of Kastria.

“Here we are.”

We go inside, where everything happens in Greek.

First we stand at a reception desk where Maria explains what we’re after to a girl not much older than me.

She points at me several times as she does so, and I feel the girl looking at me with interest. While they speak, Sophia explains to me in a low voice what’s going on.

Then we’re told to wait. Ten minutes later the three of us are led to an office, where an older woman listens again to Maria explaining my situation.

The woman then asks for my passport, and turns to the page at the back that lists my place of birth as Alythos, Greece.

She nods at it, then focusses on the computer screen in front of her.

For a few moments she ignores us while she runs a search.

We can’t see the screen, but her face tells us she isn’t seeing what she expects.

“What’s the problem?” I ask, but before anyone can translate this, Maria and the older woman begin speaking in rapid Greek again.

“What’s she saying?” I ask Sophia, but it’s not possible for her to listen and translate at the same time. Eventually she turns to me.

“She’s saying there’s no record for an Ava Whitaker being born on Alythos.”

“What does that mean? ”

“She doesn’t know. That’s what they’re discussing.

It could be a mistake. The records weren’t put onto computer until about five years ago.

So perhaps it was just missed off? Or if you were adopted, you might be entered into the system under a different name.

But if we don’t have the original name, she can’t search for it. ”

“Can’t we just get a list of all the names, all the children born in that year?

” I ask. Sophia considers the question a moment, then interrupts the woman and her mother to translate it into Greek.

Again there’s a long conversation I don’t understand, a bit more heated this time. Finally Maria turns to me.

“We’re not allowed a list of all the children born here in 2001. Sophia’s just arguing that she went to school with most of them, but I don’t think we’re going to get it.”

“How about my date of birth? Were any other children born on that date? 20 May? Because that has to be me? Right?” Maria nods, then interrupts, putting the question to the woman behind the desk. We wait again while she enters it into the computer, then she frowns at the results on the screen.

“What? What is it?” I ask, as the conversation flares up in Greek again. It takes a while again, but eventually Maria translates.

“There is one birth registered on 20 May. But it comes up only as ‘unknown female’, and the record doesn’t lead anywhere.”

“Why not?”

“She doesn’t know. There’s no name, not of the parents nor the child, and no other details attached. She says she’s never seen anything like it before.”

It seems we can get no further and we leave, Sophia and I then wait in the car while Maria drops by the pharmacy.

She asks again about what happened with Simon, but I’m not ready to answer.

Then we drive back towards Skalio. On the way I feel a sort of pressure.

That this is an opportunity I have to take.

Maria is less talkative now, driving in a thoughtful silence.

It’s kind, but also unbearable. I feel the words bottled up inside of me.

If I don’t say something now, I might never say it.

As we pull up outside my apartment I force myself to speak.

“Something happened yesterday. I think it would help if I told you.”

Sophia gives me a sharp, confused look, but Maria simply nods.

“Would you like to come around to the house, Ava? I have a few things I could offer you for lunch?”