Page 30 of Deep Blue Lies

TWENTY-NINE

But there’s this other thing too, kind of connected to what Kostas said. And right now, it’s really nagging at my mind.

It’s hard to explain, like a lot of this. But I’ll try my best.

I was about to turn twelve when it happened, maybe it was the night before?

I remember we had the fire going in the living room, this old gas type that glowed orange and red.

Anyway, I know I was excited about my birthday coming up, and I was telling Mum I couldn’t wait to unwrap my presents, or for my party – or something like that.

But this was right when Mum’s boyfriend had just left, one of them.

She was pretty messed up, and she was drinking.

I don’t want to give the wrong idea – Mum’s not an alcoholic, but sometimes she does drink when things get her down.

I guess this was one of those times for her.

Anyway, there was me, saying how I was looking forward to my birthday, and Mum had emptied at least one full bottle of wine, and maybe a bit more, and she just looked at me in this really weird way, and told me that tomorrow wasn’t my actual birthday, it was just the day we’d chosen to celebrate it on.

And I remember I asked what she meant by that, and who “we” were – but she wouldn’t answer then, and she’s never said since.

The few times I was ever brave enough to ask what she meant by it, she always cut me down straight away, or even denied saying it in the first place.

So then. August 13 is the date where I’m finally going to discover who Daddy is. Except maybe it isn’t. And maybe I’m not?

I read on. One way or another, I have to find out.