Page 81 of Declan

Chapter 19

Kyler

The paradise Declan and I’d had at the villa was gone. Our little safe haven could no longer hold us. The vacation was over. Standing in the airport, I waited to board my plane.

Declan stood beside me, silent and guarded.

“You going to be okay flying by yourself?” he asked after several minutes.

“I’m not a child.” I tapped my boarding pass against my palm. “I’ll be fine.”

“Good. Good.” He nodded and stared out the window at the planes on the runway.

We had different flights. He was California bound, and I was going back home to Addersfield.

“What are you going to do once you get back to LA?” I asked, using a lighter tone, even though I felt like punching something.

“Not sure exactly,” Declan answered, not looking at me. “The movie’s in production, so I’ll have to do some promotional shit for it. Make a few appearances. Do some interviews. Probably do some morning talk shows.”

He didn’t sound excited about it. In fact, his solemn expression made me wonder if he was intentionally holding back his true thoughts.

“Awesome,” I responded.

Declan’s forehead creased in the middle, and his breathing quickened. His eyes remained locked on something in the distance.

“Declan, are y—”

He snagged me by the wrist and pulled me through the terminal and into the bathroom. And then he was shoving me against the wall, kissing me.

I whimpered against his mouth as my eyes filled with tears.

This is goodbye.

“I’m a fucking wreck, Kyler.” He held my face in both hands and stared down at me, his eyes that of a man at the end of his rope.

“It doesn’t have to be goodbye,” I said as my bottom lip quivered. “I’m a patient guy, Dec. I can wait for you. We don’t have to go public with it. Coming out is hard, fuck I know it is, and you can do it on your own terms. But goddammit I need you. I’m not ready to say goodbye.”

He was shaking his head before I even finished my sentence.

“No. I won’t do that to you. You’ve been with too many guys who treated you like their fucking dirty little secret.” His voice cracked and he nuzzled his head to mine before claiming my lips. I felt his mouth tremble against mine. “That’s a life I can’t have. You deserve someone who’ll love you openly.”

Tears fell to my cheeks. “Don’t do this. Please.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, stroking my wet cheek. “This was supposed to be a casual fling, and I’ve complicated the hell out of it.”

“Yeah, you have,” I snapped, shoving against his strong chest. And then I grabbed him and tugged him back to me, burying my face in the crease of his neck. “But dammit so have I. I’m fucking in love with you, Declan.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why?” I glared up at him through watery eyes. “Because it’s the truth? Because you feel the same?”

He reverted to his guarded expression. His eyes, though, showed the pain he swallowed back.

“Don’t you see this is where you’re meant to be?” I asked, clutching his shirt tighter in my fist. “This iswhoyou’re meant to be.”

My flight number was announced over the intercom. Now boarding. We stood there staring at each other, a million unspoken things between us.

“You need to go,” he said, stepping back. “Thanks for everything, Kyler. Really. The weeks with you have been…” He cleared his throat, and although it only lasted a fraction of a second, he looked like he was about to break down and cry. “It’s been incredible.”