Page 59 of Declan

Chapter 14

Declan

“And that’s a wrap,” Tim said.

Cheers erupted on set.

Tim clapped me on the back and thanked everyone involved for all the hard work they’d put into the movie. He made a big speech about the fun he’d had during the course of the filming and how he was honored to have worked with such a talented crew.

Blah, blah.

The movie needed to be edited, cut, and assembled, and there needed to be visual effects work, as well as the music and design. But my part was done and I was stoked. Even if I rolled my eyes at the romantic flick, it was still something to celebrate.

I can finally begin my vacation.

However, where I’d once been eager to leave Addersfield, basically from the very first day I’d arrived, I wasn’t as ready to any longer. A weight pressed down on my chest as I thought of getting on a plane and leaving this place behind.

As I thought of leaving Kyler.

I’d done everything in my power to keep my feelings in check. I’d refrained from asking him to dinner after that first time when he’d rejected me, and I’d kept it strictly sexual. Just called him up for sex and didn’t try to stop him when he’d often left directly afterward. Yet, he’d still burrowed his way into my heart regardless.

Arms came around me. “Ugh, I’m sad now.”

I looked down at Jennifer. “This doesn’t mean we can’t still talk, Jen. We’ll have a few appearances to attend for the promotion of the movie, too. But fuck, I’m ready for a break.”

“Same,” she said with a smile. “Pete and I are going to Paris, I think. I’ve never been.”

“Have fun. You deserve it.” I pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.

“You have any exciting plans? Maybe with that special someone you were talking to the other day?”

An idea sparked at her words.

Hell, I didn’t know if Kyler would agree, and maybe I was insane for even humoring the idea, but I hadn’t gotten to where I was without taking risks. If he said no, at least I would’ve tried and there wouldn’t be the sleepless nights of wondering what would’ve happened if I’d asked him.

“Possibly,” I answered her.

After talking to some of the crew members and thanking them, Gideon and I exited the building.

“I’m going to do something crazy,” I said once we were in the car.

“Nothing new,” Gideon grunted, starting the ignition and backing out of the spot. “What is it this time?”

“And spoil the fun by telling you?” I grinned at the peeved look on his face. “Nah, I’ll wait a while. Just know that I have something planned.”

“Still going on vacation?” he asked after a few minutes of driving. No radio to help the silence. Only the purring of the engine and the clicks of his turn signal.

“Yeah. Not sure where yet, though.”

I’d let Kyler decide.

If he agreed.

We’d done the casual sex thing for two weeks. What damage could another week or so do? A lot of damage, if I was being honest with myself.

My struggles with coming out hadn’t been resolved just because I’d found a man I craved to be with as more than a random fling. However, I didn’t want to let Kyler go. Perhaps I was being selfish. Maybe even cruel. The fear of being without him outweighed the fear of being caught loving him, though.

Loving him?