Page 5 of Declan

Chapter 2

Declan

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I stared out the window and into the night. I felt empty. Lost, even.

The naked girl in my bed ruffled the sheets as she turned over and found a more comfortable position. I didn’t remember her name. Maybe she’d never told it to me. She’d been nothing more than a warm body to sink into for a while. One that was already forgotten.

Another hotel room, another nameless fuck. Another night of staying awake and hating myself.

Appropriate for me to be an actor…I was constantly putting on a show. The world didn’t see the real Declan Price; they only saw what I wanted them to. The real Declan didn’t have his shit together. I dated—and fucked—countless women and had a reputation for being kind of a bad boy. At every awards show and movie premiere, I had a pretty lady on my arm. Fooling the world just like I tried to fool myself.

The world didn’t know that the real Declan was gay.

But they couldn’t know. Not whenIcould barely accept it.

I slept with so many women to try to convince myself that I actually enjoyed it. But it only made me feel empty afterward. Unfulfilled and lonely. The world was changing and more actors and athletes were coming out, embracing their true selves.

Fuck, I wished I could be like them. That I could be brave enough.

I wasn’t ready to take that step.

Maybe I never would be.

In my loneliness, I logged onto Twitter and posted about being excited to continue filming. Instantly, I was barraged with the hundreds of responses that I received on every post, no matter whatmypost was about.

Wet4Price:DADDY!

Declan’s_Mistress6:I want 2 have your babies.

I shook my head. Same shit, different day. But then a response caught my attention.

Kye927:I hope you like Addersfield! We’re honored to have you. Be sure to stop at Chase’s Diner. Best burgers in town. Probably the world ;)

I stared at the comment before clicking on the guy’s profile. Fuck, he was cute. Light-brown hair that stuck out from the bottom of the sports hat he wore. A nice tan. And that smile…holy shit. His photo alone had the power to light up the room. Just a genuine, wide smile that reflected in his gray eyes.

His freckles were fucking adorable, too. They dusted the tops of both cheeks and his nose, visible even on his tanned skin.

In total creeper mode, I checked out his photos.

He loved the outdoors. His athletic body didn’t look to be gained from the gym, but from playing football, baseball, water sports, and hiking. Photos of him doing all those activities were on his profile. His muscles weren’t bulky and were instead the long and lean type that made my mouth water.

I had a weakness for outdoorsy, jock types. And one with freckles?

Fuck.

Some of his posts made me grin. He was goofy, but intelligent, too. His posts ranged from funny memes to serious conversations about climate change and animal rights.

Okay, I need to stop stalking this kid.

His profile said he was only twenty-two. Nottoomuch younger than me—I was twenty-nine—but those seven years made quite the difference.

What does it matter? I won’t be hooking up with him.

Whoever this Kye927 was…he was the kind of guy I’d often dreamed of being with: athletic, hot as fuck, smart, and funny. A dream was all it’d ever be. That was a life I couldn’t have.

I looked at him again, looked at his wide smile and messy brown hair, and then I exited the browser.

I eventually fell asleep, tossing and turning all night. My alarm woke me at five in the morning. The girl was already gone, thank god, so I didn’t have the awkward morning-after conversation. I had to catch an early flight into a town named Addersfield.