Page 59 of Daddy to Go

I hopethat this letter finds you well. I’m not very good at small talk so I’m just going to jump into it. From the moment I packed my things in Farmington, I’ve regretted my actions. The truth is, I don’t want to run anymore. I want to be with you, and I want to have a real relationship where we make a life together.

Because how I feel about you is very simple. I love you, and I miss you terribly. I never meant to hurt you, even though I know that’s what I’ve done. My only excuse is that I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve never been in love, and finding myself head over heels for the first time threw me for a spin. As a result, I acted like a fool, and did things no man should have done. Can you forgive me?

Maybe you can, or maybe you can’t, but at the bottom of this letter, I’m going to include my new contact info in case you want to reach out me. If you don’t reply, I’ll assume it’s because you’re not interested in building a life together. It breaks my heart, but I’ll accept it. In fact, I’ll understand because I would feel the same way if I were in your situation.

But no matter what happens, even if I never see you again, I want you to know that the time I spent with you was magnificent.Youare magnificent, Abby. You are a woman in full, and whatever choice you make, know that I will always have you in my thoughts.

Love,

Ryder

When I finished reading,there were tears in my eyes. My heart beat wildly at the thought of Ryder penning this letter. It was magical, lyrical, and utterly heartfelt. He loves me! But how do I feel in return? Did reading this missive, albeit months late, make a difference? With my pulse pounding in my ears, I only knew one thing. I had to see him to talk about possibilities. Because Ryder is the father of my son, and maybe, just maybe, we have a future together.

30

Ryder

When I got the text from Abby asking to come over, I immediately responded yes. My apartment was kind of messy so I took the time to walk around and pick up any trash or dishes that needed to go into the kitchen. My place was a pigsty because I’d fallen into a bit of a depression, and neglected to clean.

Abby knocked on my door within twenty minutes. I opened it up and invited her in. She looked gorgeous, if a little frazzled.

“Hey, you look upset. Are you okay?”

She hurried inside, setting the baby down in his car seat. Mattie looked like a cherub as he slept peacefully with not a care in the world. Abby glanced around the apartment, puzzled.

“Wait, is this the same place you stayed in last time?” she asked, her brow wrinkling.

I rubbed the back of my neck and nodded wearily. “Yeah, it’s the same.”

She gave me a quick grin. “Figures. I’m just really glad I didn’t have to see the old lady next door because she remembers me, and probably thinks I’m crazy. Not that I blame her.” Then she glanced around, looking hesitant.

“Are you okay?” I asked again.

Abby looked at me, biting her lip.

“Kind of, maybe. I can distinctly remember my heart being broken on the front stoop of this building, if you remember. I’d just discovered that you’d left without a word, and well, the memories make me … I don’t know. Reluctant, I guess.”

I nodded with understanding.

“Listen, I get it. I’m sorry about what happened, and I completely understand if you don’t want to talk, which is why I’m surprised you’re here now. The last time we spoke, I thought we were done. You wanted me to stay away. Did something change?”

Slowly, Abby reached down into her bag and pulled out an envelope before unfolding it. My heart raced. It was the letter I wrote her, and Abby looked sad, and almost heartbroken, while fingering the paper.

“Ryder, I have to apologize. I said a lot of nasty things the last time we were together, accusing you of lying and all sorts of evil motives. Because it turns out that the letter really exists, and I’m so sorry for not believing you. I apologize for being such a bitch, and throwing insults your way while questioning your integrity.”

“Shhhh,” I replied putting my hand over hers. “You don’t need to apologize.I’mthe one that owes you an apology and I’m glad you finally got the letter. It took me a while to summon the courage to write it, and to admit how I felt. I never meant to hurt you, and I never meant to leave you alone and pregnant with our child. If I had known, I would have come back in an instant. I never stopped caring about you, sweetheart. I fell in love with you, Abby McAllister, and I have never stopped loving you. Do you hear me?Never.”

I watched as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them, she reached up and put her hand to my cheek in a gentle gesture.

“I understand, Ryder. I had a lot to work through too, including my mistrust and my fear of being abandoned. I had to learn that I deserve respect from people, and not just from you, but from a lot of different people. I had to stop saying things were okay when they weren’t okay.”

Nodding, I took her hands.

“I know, sweetheart, and anything I can do to help you, just let me know because I love you. But let me ask you this: how did you get your hands on the letter? Where has it been?”

Abby took a deep breath and walked over to the couch.

“Do you remember my sister Melody? Well, she was keeping it. She purposefully hid it from me, hoping to keep us apart.”